Completed Back Drop

Conflict, my dear friend its so nice to meet you again.

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forum. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

The unassuming den of the Constrictor Dhani, it is truly a pit of snakes. Travelers should take care, because the Dhani are always hungry... [Lore]

Back Drop

Postby Xen on September 15th, 2013, 6:10 am

Image

The Back Drop


Fall 6, 513 A.V.



“ ”
Last edited by Xen on November 16th, 2013, 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Xen on September 16th, 2013, 1:44 am

Image

Xen Jorimunzd Seis




“I don’t know what your problem isss but you have the wrong viper.”


Xen stood just meters away from a large constrictor, who was angry and accused Xen for sleeping with his mate. Xen was confused, unsure to what the constrictor was talking about; he didn’t sleep with a female... unless. The viper had a sudden realization, he was attacked by a female constrictor but he knocked her out before she could mate with him. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he'd struck a young lady but when he told her that he didn’t want to breed, he meant it.

Xen guessed that humongous female was this constrictors mate, good thing he didn’t mate with her. The constrictor was stereotypically large like all the other dhani; large arms, glaring eyes and intimidating in size. Xen wasn't a stranger to the constrictors; he knew how strong they were and knew he couldn’t afford to be grabbed by the constrictor. He wanted to avoid fighting the big guy, it would waste to much time and being punched by a constrictor.... isn’t enjoyable.


“Okay, let’sss think this over. I know you may believe that I mated with your girl but it wasssn't me. I don't want to fight you, let’sss find another solution to this conflict. ”


Xen attempts to persuade the constrictor from a fight failed. The big male constrictor wanted to fight with the intent to kill. The viper unsheathed his machete and pointed it outwards towards the constrictor; his left hand gripped tightly onto the handle. Xen’s warm, shining eyes became void of feeling—they reflected nothingness. The viper’s eyes didn't glare back at the constrictor but simply looked onwards into emptiness like the eyes of a dead man. Xen used this odd form of intimidation to prevent enemies from looking into his eyes and reading his movements.
Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Xen on September 16th, 2013, 2:12 am

Image

The Back Drop


....



“Chapter 1: The Back ”
Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Xen on September 16th, 2013, 3:53 pm

Image

Xen Jorimunzd Seis




“ I can feel your killing intent but I asssure you, whatever you throw my way. I'll sssend it back to you with greater force.”


Xen lowered the point of his machete towards the ground and stood with his feet held closely together. The stance Xen held was deceptively open, almost inviting the constrictor to attack; it was one stance that was simple and recently made. The viper maintained his blank stance and stare, as the constrictor taunted him with a grin. The constrictor didn't take Xen's posture as something serious and walks towards the viper with a large club resting on his shoulder.

Xen blinks his eyes once before exhaling and relaxing his body. He wanted to remain calm so that all the tension within his body would melt away and become nothing. The viper was slowly but gradually killing his emotions with each step the constrictor took, he knew this would be a long battle, one that would possibly endanger his life. The constrictor grew closer and closer to Xen with each step rage was building in his eyes; he couldn't believe this oversized viper mated with his girl!


“I'll crush you, you.... DAMN PUNY VIPER!!!”

The constrictor uses both of hands to raise his club into the air to try to slam it onto the vipers head. Xen reacts quickly and side steps to the right, he sharply turns his left shoulder to left while having it lean backwards to avoid being crushed. The club hits the earth with a solid thud, causing it to part and form into a baseball sized crater. The viper lunges towards the constrictor with his right hand and punches him hard in the right eye.

“Don't call me puny, or I'll cut you down to sssize, you uselesss chunk of flesh.”
Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Xen on October 25th, 2013, 9:11 pm

Image

Xen Jorimunzd Seis




“ I can feel your killing intent but I asssure you, whatever you think I did with your mate, is wrong.


Xen lowered the tip of the machete swords blade and stood with his feet held closely together. The stance Xen held was deceptively open, almost inviting the constrictor to attack; it was one that was simple and improvised for this situation. The constrictor glared at Xen and lungs towards him with his club. Xen leaps to his left and dives into the thick vegetation, it wasn't long before the constrictor gave chase; he thrashed through the trees and followed behind Xen in a complete rage.

Xen runs through the jungle, ducks under a large branch and jumps over a fallen tree trunk; his mild display of acrobatics nearly causes him to lose the path leading back to Zinrah. Xen was not going to be careless in the jungle, he avoided thick patches of plants to avoid making too much noise in the jungle; as he runs between two trees, and he notices that things were too quiet in the jungle. Xen stops running and observes his surroundings; his breathing was shallower than before, so that his breathe would not obscure his hearing.

The serpent could hear subtle movement, it sounded like it was coming towards him but the rate at which it was moving was slow.



“Tough, yet ssso ssslow and foolish! ”




Xen taunted the constrictor dhani as he starts to run again; he ducks and weaves through the jungle branches and shrubbery. The serpent’s quickness ensured him that he would stay ahead of the constrictor, as a single hit could crush one of his bones and devastatingly injure him.
Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Xen on November 16th, 2013, 3:59 am

Image

Xen Jorimunzd Seis




“I’ll show you what I can do now!”


The moment the big male constrictor bursts from the brush; he met with a machete swords blade. The tip misses his face by an inch as he leans backwards in a fashion similar to how a participant in a limbo party would. Xen pulls his blade back to him, as he jumps out of the way of the knee-sliding constrictor.

While behind the constrictor Xen immediately goes on the offensive and tries to land a fatal blow on the constrictors head; raising his machete high above his head before bring down onto the constrictors body. Sssarvess was the name of the male constrictor who raises his club, on a horizontal angle, above his head. Xen’s machetes blade lands directly in the middle of the club. The viper crouches and jumps backwards from the constrictor with his right hand and his two feet landing onto the ground.

Sssarvess stands to his feet and struggles to gain his footing but fearing for his, he swings backwards in a desperate attempt to strike Xen in the head. Xen hardly needed to dodge, seeing as he was already crouching low to the ground. However, Xen crouches even lower to the ground, allowing the club to fly over his head. Sssarvess realizes the error he has made with a regretful expression.

The viper had led him to a place where his heavy body wouldn’t be able to gain footing and even if it did, he would sink into the mud. Xen places a good amount of strength into his legs and springs into the air. Sssarvess watched as the vipers two knees smashed into his face and feels as his body drops to the ground.

Xen makes a hard landing but manages roll to his side in order to lessen some of the impact. He wobbles to his feet and swings his blade at the downed constrictors face. Sssarvess knew that his club wouldn’t make it in time and watches as his foes blade hurtles towards his face—Sssarvess closes his eyes and waits for death. Xen feels the satisfying thud of a hard surface touching his blade and retracts it, swings it in the air in front of him one time—in order to remove the dirt from his sword.

Then Xen runs through the brush before his opponent could realize he hadn’t struck him with his weapon and makes a hasty retreat, as he jumps over a log and disappears into the brush.

Sssarvess opens his eyes, beads of sweat raced down his cheek, he was alive? The male constrictor stood to his feet in utter disgrace: a viper had shown him mercy! Sssarvess felt as though his warriors pride had been broken, he wanted to receive a warrior’s death—not be shown mercy.

He clenched his fist and yells! The noise disturbs a flock of birds resting in the tree tops above. Xen chuckled, as he made his way towards the entrance of Zinrah— he listened to Sssarvess horrid cry. The fallen leaves of the jungle trees seemed to celebrate Xen’s victory, as they crunched beneath his feet during his mad sprint for home.



“....”


Xen

User avatar
Xen
Stygian Serpentis
 
Posts: 499
Words: 390077
Joined roleplay: July 28th, 2012, 12:02 am
Location: Falyndar Region; Syka City
Race: Dhani
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 2
Featured Character (1) Overlored (1)

Back Drop

Postby Traverse on December 13th, 2013, 4:03 pm

Image

Xen


Experience:

  • Acrobatics 3 XP
  • Brawling 2 XP
  • Intimidation 1 XP
  • Machete 2 XP
  • Meditation 1 XP
  • Observation 2 XP
  • Persuasion 1 XP
  • Running 1 XP

Lore:

  • Taking up a Simple Fighting Stance
  • Sssarvess: A Jealous Constrictor
  • Losing Your Opponent in the Jungle

Additional Notes :
Alright so a few things I noticed here. First, while I liked the soundtrack to the fight, it doesn't legitimize having it's own post for a youtube link, in the future I'd just insert that into your other posts. Also you repeated a chunk of a post twice, this bit here:

“ I can feel your killing intent but I asssure you, whatever you throw my way. I'll sssend it back to you with greater force.”


Xen lowered the point of his machete towards the ground and stood with his feet held closely together. The stance Xen held was deceptively open, almost inviting the constrictor to attack; it was one stance that was simple and recently made.


In addition there was a lot of things going on here that were written way above your current skill level. Xen has only a few points in acrobatics and machete, and only one in meditation. You aren't going to be shutting down your emotions one by one and entering a cool calm killing state with 1 point in it I'm afraid. Also killing a Constrictor would be a serious offense, and probably one of the only rules that Zinrah has, so this Dhani wouldn't expect you to kill him, nor should there be the potential of a fight to the death, even over jilted lovers.

I understand the desire to have some awesome action sequences (which that youtube link is perfect for), but those come with time and XP which Xen doesn't currently have yet, so please play to your skill level in the mean time.


If you have any questions, concerns, accolades, complaints, etc about your grade, drop me a PM and we can most certainly talk it out.

As always, Safe Travels!
User avatar
Traverse
Journey to your limits
 
Posts: 3291
Words: 1283282
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2012, 4:16 pm
Location: RS of Falyndar, DS of Taloba
Race: Staff account
Office
Scrapbook
Medals: 7
Featured Contributor (1) Artist (1)
Trailblazer (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Extreme Scrapbooker (1)


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests