[Issues found by Twister] Seffa

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Seffa

Postby Seffa on September 26th, 2014, 6:02 am

Seffa

Image

Even on the brightest days, i keep my heart fixed on the moon



The Vitals


alternative names Seff
Titles: Seffa
Race: Kelvic
Gender: Female
Age: 2
DoB: 1, Fall, 512 AV
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 120 lbs
Hair Color: blonde
Hair Length: Lower back
Eye Color: Blue
Skin Color: Pale

Birthplace: sunberth
Location: sunberth
Profession: thief
Housing: tent (4 person)

Likes: Food that her cat form craves.
Dislikes: other races
Fears: large animals and people
Aspirations: In one word, Seeing the world

Fluent: common

Skills :
Skill EXP Total Proficiency
larceny 15 SP 15 novice
hunting 10 RB, 10 SP 20 novice
weapon (Rapier) 25 SP 25 novice


Lores :
Lore of sunberth Layout
Lore of sunberth Culture


Possessions :
1 Set of Clothing
-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Coat
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
-full set of tack
-saddlebag
-horse tidal pony
Heirloom: Rapier. stolen from the house of her old master before it burned down.


housing & survival equipment :
-1 tent
-1 large tarp
-100 ft rope
-lantern
-2 torches
-fishing tackle and hooks
-compass


ledger :
Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM
Last edited by Seffa on September 30th, 2014, 3:02 am, edited 14 times in total.
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Seffa
Player
 
Posts: 6
Words: 1683
Joined roleplay: September 26th, 2014, 5:22 am
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Seffa

Postby Seffa on September 26th, 2014, 6:38 am

Character Concept

Image

ill bleed it out, digging deeper, just to hold it close to my heart


The Exterior


Human- Seffa has long blonde hair and soft features. Her delicate hands and smooth skin are the mantle pieces to her tiny physique. she has smaller than average lips and big blue doe eyes. She has a pointed chin, vertical cheekbones, an upturned nose, and small ears that have been seen wiggling at the presence of alarming sounds. The breasts and buttocks have filled out nicely. A large birthmark is her unique feature which takes up the whole of the left of her back stretching down the outside of her left leg and curling around the shoulder. this mark matches an orange spot in her cat form.

Kelvic- She has white hair with a large orange spot that takes up the left middle part of her back. Short hair, and soft fluffy fur is the prized possession of this well groomed tabby. With poise and confidence she gracefully prances around the abandoned shacks and homes, while avoiding the sights of the sunberth streets. This cat is more than likely grooming herself or hunting bugs for dinner. Seffa spends most of her time dormant in her kelvic form.



The Interior

Merits
Merit- people person
Merit- protective of master
Merit- good thief
Merit- well adept with a raipier
Merit- keen senses

Flaws
Flaw- grumpy when hungry
Flaw- prone to violence in protection of master
Flaw- basically turns into a useless statue without her master
Flaw- dependant
Flaw- attractive

Views
Life Life was designed to see how much food you can get. Serra prefers tuna

Death people get old and die, what else is there to it?

Law She understands when something is lawfully owned by someone else, however that won't stop her from taking it.

Orientation When a male cat begins to spray his scent in her territory she knows it's time to change territories.
[/style][/style]
Last edited by Seffa on September 29th, 2014, 8:15 pm, edited 11 times in total.
User avatar
Seffa
Player
 
Posts: 6
Words: 1683
Joined roleplay: September 26th, 2014, 5:22 am
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

thread list

Postby Seffa on September 26th, 2014, 6:59 am

coming soon
Last edited by Seffa on September 28th, 2014, 6:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Seffa
Player
 
Posts: 6
Words: 1683
Joined roleplay: September 26th, 2014, 5:22 am
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Seffa Roth

Postby Twister on September 26th, 2014, 9:08 pm

Image

Hello there. I'm Twister, the DS of Sunberth. Upon reviewing your CS, I stumbled upon a number of issues that absolutely need to be addressed before you may continue playing this character. The issues are listed below:

 
Kelvic Concept
I get the distinct feeling you've misunderstood the concept of Kelvics as a race. Keep in mind that Kelvics age differently than humans but mature differently than animals. At age 4 as a regular cat, you'd be well into adulthood. Kelvics mature at the same speed their animal does, so a cat Kelvic would be physically mature adult around a year old and even earlier. I suggest you review the Kelvic lore and reevaluate your character concept.
 
Age
Just to pull this into its own tab to elaborate on this... Think dog years, when you think about Kelvics. Cats and dogs have very similar lifespans, so their first year would equal about 14 human years. Every year after that would add 7 onto that, so being 4 years old would put your character around the age of 35 in body and, mostly, in mind. Kelvic develop very fast mentally, especially if they aren't Bonded.
 
Personality
Your entire personality is designed after a cat. Your character is literally nothing but a cat in a human body with a very obvious focus on cuteness. This is not going to fly. Please see the tab about "Kelvic Concept".
 
Sunberth
The way you have set up this character concept, I just don't see it surviving very long in Sunberth. Sunberth is arguably one of the most dangerous cities in Mizahar because the population have no real regard for eachothers' lives. An anime stereotype like the one you're describing in this CS would be eaten alive, and frankly there aren't many cities in the game that would enable a character like this to exist.
 
Assassin
Please see Gillar's Public Service Announcement at the top of the linked page regarding Assassins. Starting players aren't and can't be assassins.
 
Skills
It's not "Thievery", it's "Larceny".


Due to the number of glaring errors, I suggest you review the Starting Guide once more. Once you have addressed all the issues, please pitch me a PM so I can review your CS again. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact me as soon as possible.

Love,
Twister
.
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Twister
Justice is Dead, Faith is Blind
 
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