Flashback [Solo] Yowling Yowlwing

[Xii]

Mid Spring 511 AV Xii held in her yawn as she slipped out of their small tent. It was just before dawn. Mumma had got her up to help collect herbs. Outside, the near dawn had brought the night sky up from midnight to a shade of palish blue, though the twilight was still dotted with stars. She stretched, and Mumma handed her a backpack. Together they snuck out of the pavilion. They often got up this early, or earlier. Out here in the Grass, the sun could get so bright it could sting Xii's eyes like salt. Sometimes it hurt so bad that she had to wear a dark veil of shimmery cloth over her face. Which she hated. On those days, veil days, she stayed in. Keeping away from prying eyes, Mumma said. That was why they'd started coming out earlier. Mumma still expected Xii to get a full day's work in. So they had begun getting up even before the sun. Now they walked. Well, Mumma walked. Xii jumped and ran. Freedom was limited in the pavilion, where Mumma said Xii had to keep quiet and behave all the time, keeping away from prying eyes and talking mouths who might get nervous about her if she stirred too much up. That was another thing Xii hated. Having to be what Mumma called a good girl all the time, which basically meant having no fun at all. As Xii ran, she held her arms out to her sides like wings. She even flapped them, flying like she was up in the sky. Behind, she heard Mumma laugh. Xii made a face since her mumma couldn't see. Wings weren't funny. Wings were what you had when you were Zith, and Zith weren't funny. If you laughed at a Zith, he would swoop down and then you'd not be laughing, not anymore. Of course, Xii wasn't a Zith, not full-Zith anyways, but she had never forgotten, not at all. Not her home colony or her father or their old Zith ways. Now, living in the pavilion, she had to pretend all the time, so that the dumb Drykas would be fooled and think she was what Mumma called good and well-behaved and normal. But normal just wasn't any fun. She resented having to pretend all the time. She'd much rather pretend to be Zith. It was as she was racing along, jumping over hills of dirt and tufts of dried Sea fern, that she heard the hissssss. Xii immediately bounced away then stopped, crouching down on her toes to look. Somewhere behind, Mumma called out in Common, "What are you doing, darling?" but Xii didn't answer. If Xii said she was looking for the snake, probably an asp, a poisonous snake in the grass, her Mumma would take her away and she wouldn't be able to get a good look at it. Xii was intrigued by what Mumma called dangerous things, like playing with weapons and snakes and looking for the wrong plants and annoying a horse the wrong way. Mumma was always telling her to stay away, and that she should be scared, but Xii, she wasn't scared of anything. At least not when Mumma wasn't making her scared with her mind magic. Xii had been hurt real bad not even too long ago, and she hadn't even been scared then, not even when she could've died. But it turned out not to matter, because it wasn't a snake after all. Xii let out a puff of breath, disappointed. The hiss had come from a yowlwing, a cat-like creature that Xii had seen before chasing birds through the sky in the early mornings when Mumma and her were out. Too bad it hadn't been a snarlwing, she hadn't ever seen one of those yet, that would have been much more interesting. Still, she supposed this yowlwing was good enough. She leaned closer to look in at it, where it had hidden itself amongst the stalks of tall grass. Probably it was trying to blend in; its shortish fur was tan and brown marked, making it good for hiding. Big greenish eyes stared back at her, and she could see its sharp little fangs as it brought back its lips for another long hissssss, its ears pressed back. Xii smiled when she saw that it had a broken wing. Must've been attacked by something, maybe a larger, flying bird, a hawk or eagle of some sort. Good thing it hadn't died. If it had, she wouldn't have found it and been able to get at it herself. She was just drawing out her herb-cutting knife from the backpack when Mumma caught up. "Darling... Xii, what are you doing?" Mumma asked, then she saw the cat-like creature crouching on the ground. "Oh. Oh dear. Poor thing." "We're not going to keep it, are we?" Xii asked, keeping her voice flat. The distaste was bitter on her tongue, but she didn't let it show. "We could kill it," she said a little more brightly, looking down at the yowlwing. As she did she pointed the small sharp knife at the creature. Her mumma sighed. "It's not practical to save every animal," she said, but she was frowning. The first glimmer of the morning sun was sparkling off the Rak'keli mark on her face. "But neither do we have to harm it." "If we leave it here," Xii said, "Some thing will just come and tear it up into bits. Might as well be us." When her mumma gave her a sharp look she backtracked, saying quickly, "I mean. Quick and fast. So that it won't suffer." Her mother looked troubled. "If we leave it here," Xii tried again, "Even if a glassbeak doesn't come and eat it, it will sit in the hot sun and get thirsty and waste and die." Xii left out that she'd like to see that. Maybe even taunt it with some scraps of meat as it went starving. See it mewl weakly for water before the slow end. "Xii, dear, let's leave it alone." "Ah Mumma. Please? It's just like hunting. We could bring it back and skin it." Xii'd also like to do that. She liked the idea of peeling off things' skin and seeing what was under. And they could sell the parts they didn't want. Hunting and cleaning kills were some of Xii's favorite things. Things Mumma said she could do in the pavilion, since there were many hunters and it was allowed to kill most animals. Just not the people or their smart horses. "Please Mumma it's in pain." The only reason Xii wanted to end its pain was because that would mean getting to stick her knife in it, but it was probably better if Mumma didn't know that. Her mumma sighed, but at last said, "Alright, alright." Xii let out an excited breath, and reached out with her knife. "No, wait stop," Mumma said, and the little Zithling thought about ignoring her, just doing it already, and then it would be too late to take it back, even if it meant trouble. But then she stopped. That didn't stop her from objecting. "But Mummmm~" "Xii, this can be a good lesson," Mumma said. The horizon behind her was going bright at the edge with gold and scarlet. The stars had gone. Twilight had turned a lavender purple. "Let's carry it along with us. We'll care for it. Bring it back to health. You can do it yourself, patch its wing, get some hands on experience in medicine, how we wanted. Then, when it's ready, we'll let it go. It'll be lovely to see it fly, don't you think?" Xii kept from scowling. Her displeasure was large and loud inside, almost enough to make her skin squirm. Finally, though, she forced her face into a small, tight smile. "Yes, Mumma," she said. "Of course." "That's my good girl," Mumma smiled, and Xii turned her face away before it could sour.

[Xii]

They were back at the pavilion. The sun was coming out in full, now. Xii squinted her eyes shut just a little, so the lashes got in the way and kept the sun out. The yowlwing was tucked into her mumma's backpack, which was held safely against her chest. Xii had wanted to carry it back, but had not been allowed. There were many things she was not allowed to do. She wouldn't have been allowed to shake the creature in the pack even if she had been able to carry it, nor squeeze it tight, nor bounce it around to see what it would do. They didn't take it to the medical tent, since that was for people and Mumma said the yowlwing wasn't too badly hurt. Instead, they took it to their own. Mumma had Xii lay out a clean blanket on the ground, and then hold the top of the backpack open. "Carefully," she said. Xii did as she was told; that was part of being good, even though it was boring. Mumma gently reached into the bag and grasped the animal with her hands around its body and its wings tucked in, lifting it out. The yowlwing spat again, then let out a howl. "Don't worry, my dear," Mumma said to Xii as she laid it carefully on the blanket, holding it down so it couldn't scurry away. "It doesn't cry from pain, but from capture. It'll settle down soon enough. We can help it, if you like?" Questions like these Xii had learned were not questions at all, but expectations. Expectations were just more orders to be followed. She stifled her sigh. "Yes, Mumma. Of course." Hypnotism could sometimes be difficult for Xii, despite her mumma giving her many lessons in the last season or two. She had even had some lessons before that, although back then she hadn't really known what she had been learning. Xii could do most things Mumma wanted her to simple enough. She had learned to use what Mumma said was a combination of body language and the Drykas' Pavi to display particular emotions and get a certain reaction. The other part of Hypnotism was the stuff actually in her head. Like sending suggestions, little ideas that Xii had always pictured like waves on a large flat lake. These she did well enough. Most of the time they were things like leave me alone, or pay no attention, or this isn't interesting. Along with the suggestions, she would work in emotion. Sending a feeling to someone with the thought, like disinterest or pity. The suggestions and emotions could be easy or hard, depending. The pay no attention kind was what she did often, almost every day. This was because Mumma said it was better to encourage the Drykas not to focus on Xii too much if they didn't need to. The hard kind was when Mumma expected her to send things she herself didn't understand at all, or couldn't link to in her memories. Like now. Mumma wanted her to settle the yowlwing down. But that would mean being nice, as Mumma put it, caring and gentle. She had little choice but to try. If she couldn't do it, Mumma could help. But that would mean more lessons, today or tomorrow. Xii focused as best she could on the little cat-bird. "Kit," she said, and made her voice low and quiet how Mumma had told her before, "Little kit: Safety. Warmth. Sleep, tired. No pain. Calm." As she said these things, she reached inside herself, prompting the djed in her belly to awaken. She repeated the murmurings, sending them out in her mind. Her mumma had told her it was about connections. Finding something inside you, reaching out, and connecting it to someone else. Safety. Xii looked inwards. She thought of her Zith father and his wings which he could wrap completely around her. Sent it rippling out. Warmth. She thought of the feel of a fire, then made it into the soft heat when being covered by a blanket. Sent it out. Sleep, tired. This one was easy. Xii recalled how it was to lay in bed, eyes closing. Breathing slow. She felt herself start to breathe slow, heavy, in and out. Sent it out. No pain. This one she balked at, not knowing what to do, nothing coming to mind. Then, finally she settled on a faded memory of her mumma working over her. She had been in the medical tent, the first time in a Drykas pavilion. She had been hurt very badly. And her mumma had used Rak'keli's power and made the hurting go away. Made it fade, so slowly. Xii sent that feeling out. Calm. This last one was so hard her mother had to step in for her. Relaxation radiated like the light of the sun from her mumma, into her. She grabbed the unfamiliar emotion and sent it out as fast as she could, towards the yowlwing kit. She hadn't come close to feeling this sort of peace in her short life, not on her own. The closet she had come was an almost-sort of stillness that happened in her mind while on a hunt. But that mixed in thrills of excitement and hunger low in the belly, and those she didn't want to send. Now that Mumma knew that calm was out of her reach, it would mean that Xii would have to learn again. Mumma would help her settle into what she called meditation. Once there, Xii would sit and think and think about the memory of that stillness, and gather it inside until she could pull it away from the rest like a loose string in a cloth. Once she had the stillness by itself, she'd have to memorize it. Then repeat doing that again and again until she had it mastered, until she could bring it to mind easily. This was a long and tiring thing to do, sifting emotions like that. But she was not doing that right now, because right now she was busy. She kept up repeating the words and thoughts, blurring them together, safetywarmthsleeptirednopaincalm, and could see the simple Hypnotism begin to work. Slowly, slowly the yowlwing's puffed-out fur laid down. Her ears came up, twitching slightly on the top of her head. Her muscles relaxed, her tail stopped thrashing back and forth. She stopped making angry noises. With a feeling that reminded her of fingers pulling gently through her hair, she untangled herself from the light connection with the yowlwing. Looking at how it now held still and quiet, Xii felt a rush of power which heated her face. She smiled widely, sharp teeth clacking together once. "Nice job, darling," her mumma murmured in a low voice. "Now, dear, let's set the wing."

[Xii]

"Put one hand here," her mumma began, and Xii placed her hand over her mother's, whose then slipped out of the way so that Xii's rested alone atop the yowlwing's shoulders, holding her still. Mumma's hand then gently took the young animal's wing, pulling it a bit from the body, stretching it out. The creature shifted, but other than that didn't stir. "Now, I want you to feel softly along the edge of the wing. I believe the break is in the humerus. That's the first bone in the top of the wing, coming out of the shoulder. You should feel a bump and some swelling. Do you feel it?" Xii ran her fingers over the thing's wing. Lightly, like Mumma had said. For once, Xii agreed to proceed delicately. It would be a waste of her Hypnotism to hurt the animal now and make it wake out of its calm. Plus, she'd get in trouble. It was difficult to tell where the break was with the feathers sticking in the way. It would have been easier to feel if the feathers were gone. For a moment, she considered ripping them out. But no. Like she had thought just before: a waste of her Hypnotism. She didn't often want to spoil her own efforts, at least not before they were done. It was the second or third time she was running her fingers down the wing that she actually felt it. A bump, as Mumma had said. She stopped there, rolled her fingers over the site, trying to tell if that was the right place or not. She thought so. "I found it," she said. "Good, darling. Let me check." Her mumma nudged Xii's hand aside, felt the bump, face turned down in concentration. "Yes," she said, "That's it. This is what's called a simple fracture, Xii. It means that the bone did not break through the muscle or skin. I believe it's the only fracture in the wing, but the way to make sure is by comparing the feel of the bones in the broken wing to the bones in the other. Would you like to try that now?" Another suggestion that was an expectation. "Yes Mumma. I would," Xii said, and began. It took longer than it would have taken her mother, she knew. Her mumma could have probably used her gnosis to feel for breaks in one breath, less. Xii had to carefully, carefully feel each section, while her mumma rattled off names and positions of bones that Xii knew they would go over again later. After the humerus were the ulna and radius, which were a pair that matched the bones in the forearm of a human. At the ends of those were the ulnare and radiale, located at the joint where a wrist would be. After the 'wrist' was the carpometacarpus, which was where the palm was in your hand. And finally after that were the phalanges and phalanxes, which Mumma said were like fingers for birds. Of course Xii paid attention to all this, because that's what was expected. And of course she wouldn't remember it all. That was why they'd go over it again and again later. Mumma was determined to teach her medicine, any type of medicine, because it was a healing profession instead of hunting (which Xii preferred), but which was about tracking down and killing. Hunting, Mumma said, wasn't bad, but it could be a hobby. "Alright," Mumma murmured, when Xii told her that the rest of the bones were okay. "The way you set a wing is to put a wrap around it and secure it into place. We'll need a strip of gauze about one hand length wide and 8 hands long. And another cloth of sturdier material, cut the same way. Can you do that for me?" "Yes, Mumma." Xii lifted her hands from the yowlwing, which was sitting so still, as if in a trance. Mumma had said Xii wasn't good enough at Hypnotism for trances yet, but animals were different than people, and besides. Mumma had helped. The bag of supplies was over in the corner where it usually sat in case someone needed it fast. It had a bunch of stuff in it, bags of dried herbs and medicines, boiled water, various cloths and wrappings, sticks for splinting, scalpels, a suture needle and thread, and other metal tools. Xii dug through, already familiar with the contents. Picked up a wad of gauze and cloth and some scissors. Then measured using her own hand (plus a little more, like Mumma had shown her), and cut to the right shape. The extra went right back into the bag. "Here it is," she said, going back to her place. "Thank you, darling. Now, I'll take you through the wrapping. "This break, besides being a simple fracture, is called an oblique fracture. That means that the bone has snapped at an angle. Sometimes, fractures like this require a process called bone reduction, which just means aligning the pieces of the bone back together so that it can heal properly. In this case, simply wrapping the wing the proper way should be enough to put the pieces in their proper alignment. First, get the gauze." Xii separated the gauze from the cloth in her hands, and held it ready. "Good. Take it and tuck it between the wing and the body, so that it's in position under the humerus." Xii lifted the wing slightly, slipping the gauze underneath. "There you go. Now, bring the bottom of the gauze up. It will cross over the outside of the wing at an angle, like this, so that it comes to rest near the shoulder." Xii did as her mother guided her. The yowlwing remained aloof, as if it was no longer concerned by its captivity at all, or by the two people poking and prodding at it. Xii wished people were so easy to control. "Now the gauze goes under the wing in between the wing and body again, but across the radius and ulna this time. Then, it wraps up from below at a cross-angle to the one before, until it meets with the piece where you started. Just like that. And now repeat until the gauze begins to run out of length." Xii continued the wrap, under, over at an angle, under, over at an angle. "This technique is called the figure eight," Mumma explained, then suddenly warned, "Remember, love, you can't make it too tight." Xii automatically loosened the binding, and Mumma smiled. "That's better. Good girl." After a couple wraps the gauze came near to its end. "Now, simply tuck the end of the gauze under the outer strip, yes, and then tie it off. There. "Next," Mumma said, "Is a secondary wrap, called a body wrap. The body wrap secures the wing in place against the body and keeps the first wrap from slipping. This one is simpler than the figure eight, though it will involve lifting the yowlwing up so we can wrap around the belly. I'll do that; you do the wrapping." Mumma did as she said she would. Her hands were gentle as always when she lifted the cat-bird. At the touch and movement, it started to struggle, mewing as if tired and coming up from a nap. Xii felt a stir in the air, like the lightest breeze against her face. Her mumma had just used Hypnotism; the yowlwing went slightly limp in her hands. "Just take the cloth," Mumma continued smoothly, "And tuck it under the wing like before. Then, wrap under the stomach and over the back. Good. Now, over the wing, under the stomach and over the back like before. Tuck the end under the outer strip and tie it in place. Make sure the knot isn't too tight; if the cloth is tied on too tightly, it could restrict blood flow and hinder the healing process." Xii wrapped under the wing and belly, over the back, over the wing, under the belly, over the back, and tied. "There you are," her mumma said, as she felt the bindings, making sure they were correctly in place. "Your first set bone. Good job, Xii, love." "Thanks Mumma," Xii said.

[Xii]

Spring - Summer 511 AV Xii sat with her back straight ~but not too straight, as Mumma said. She had her legs crossed, arms resting lightly at her sides. Shoulders relaxed. Neck relaxed, but not lolling; her head had to be held up. Her breath was slow and steady ~but not forced, as Mumma said. Meditation wasn't about keeping your breathing moderated one-two in-out, as Mumma put it, but rather finding your natural rhythm. Not thinking about it too hard. Just breathing. Xii never felt the calm that she was supposed to feel when she meditated. Mumma's calm was like a quiet meadow. Xii's calm was like that moment before a sudden, crackling storm. Or like tying down an untamed pony to hold it still. It looked calm and maybe it was for a moment. But really all it was was just biding time. But whether or not that meant that this meditation stuff didn't work, Mumma thought it did, and she had expectations that needed to be met. So Xii sat in her comfortable position in the shade of their little tent, and breathed naturally, and just let it happen. Because it was better than getting in trouble. "Alright darling," Mumma sighed out, "Begin." They were working more Hypnotism. This they had been doing for a few days now, twice a day in mid morning and late afternoon. They were doing to the yowlwing kit what Mumma had done to Xii. A sort of... taming, using Hypnotism on her while she slept. Xii hated working this magic at the same time she reveled in it. But no matter what she felt, she did what Mumma said. The first part of the Hypnotic process was what Mumma called dissipating extraneous feelings. Really, that meant breaking up all the stuff that you didn't want to accidentally send out to your subject. In this case, those feelings were that hot hate that bubbled in her veins at having to work the magic that had been worked on her, and the odd backwards thrill that jolted her stomach anytime she exerted control over someone else. The subject was the yowlwing. Mumma dissipated her extra feelings just by sitting and breathing and meditating. That didn't work for Xii, so she had to make it happen in her mind. Visualize it, as Mumma said. So what Xii did was look that hate right in the eyes and grab it and make it into lava and push it out from the top of her head as if from a volcano. That other one, the thrilled feeling of power she got whenever she worked Hypnotism over someone, she imagined turning into a bolt of lightning that shot up, up, out of her and up through the top of the tent and harmlessly into the sky. Maybe these methods were more violent than what happened in normal meditation, but so what? It was what worked, so it was what Xii had to do. The next part was drawing from the well of memories inside, as Mumma said. Mumma's well was a still pool of pure, clear water, and at the bottom were different types of rocks. Each rock was a different emotion or idea, and many of them were linked to memories. The memories were used to invoke the emotion that you wanted to send. Xii's well was pretty much like Mumma's, though Mumma said hers was a perfect circle and Xii's was more of a loose rectangle. The other difference was that Xii's well was full up of black oozing mud, and instead of simply plucking out a rock, Xii had to wade around thigh deep until she found the right one. Some of the rocks were easier to find. The ones Mumma wanted her her use most ~disinterest, pity, peacefulness~ might have been hard to find at first, but had become easier to get to because she had used them again and again. In the well in her mind, she had them stacked in one corner so she knew where'd they be. Now she had to find the emotions that would help her control another being, help it ease into complacency. Mumma said to look for rocks that would mean feeling safe, at ease, and satisfied. So Xii got down on her hands and knees in the dark sludge and rooted slowly through. Safe was a very hard rock, all black, oval, and shining with polish like a gem. It was very small, and was found at the very very bottom of the well. Safe linked to memories of the Zith colony, mostly. Of her father, though she had not known him all that well. Of other family, of sleeping in the day so that they could hunt at night when they were strongest. Ease was long and flat, brownish-tan and easily chipped, though the chipped pieces could eventually grow back. It was difficult to find; it had stuck to one of the walls and nearly been swallowed up. She had to pry it out with her pointed nails (inside her mind, Xii had claws). Ease brought to memory images of her brother, because her brother had always been more like that than Xii had been. More confident in his strength and abilities. More relaxed. More Zith. She had felt how natural it was for him to be, for him to fit in with the colony. He had been well-liked by their father. That was what she knew of ease. Satisfaction was a brilliant red and it floated halfway down in the muck, not touching the surface or the bottom. Satisfaction tended to never be the same size or shape, but it was usually bigger than the other rocks. It was easy for her to find this one: satisfaction was not about memories, really, but just about being. Though her brother had always been more confident, that didn't mean that Xii had not had confidence of her own. It was not hard for her to draw up feelings of self-satisfaction. All the Zith Xii had known were satisfied with themselves. Why wouldn't they be? They were Zith. Once Xii had gathered the stones up, then came the time to reach for djed. Mumma's djed came from her well, it was the clear water that surrounded the stones; Xii didn't know where hers came from. It was just there. She always thought of it as being in her belly, and that's where she went to get to it. And yet that wasn't right, because it was all around her. A flat lake that she was the center of, but she also was the lake. It wasn't held within certain boundaries; it just was. Mumma said Hypnotism was making connections; Xii's lake was what she sent her stones skipping across. Except not exactly that... more like, she threw the stones in, and it was the ripples in the lake that went out and made changes, djed to djed. That was what she did now. Cast the stones. Felt the ripples spread. And felt them wash like tiny lapping waves over the being that was her subject: the yowlwing. The creature lay before her in the tent, sleeping, because Mumma said sometimes it was easier to get through if the subject was at its most relaxed. Xii could never tell if it had worked or not when the yowlwing was sleeping, because that meant there might not be any obvious change, like muscles relaxing or suddenly being quiet. But somehow Mumma could always tell. Now she said, "Good, Xii. Good." And the Hypnotism was over, at least for right now. The bolt of lightning abruptly dropped back from the clouds, perhaps sent by that storm god, and Xii felt electrified. The satisfaction rock bobbed momentarily to the surface and out into the air before splashing back down. Xii felt powerful. And at the same time a little sick or maybe tired, which Mumma said was just from using up the djed.

[Xii]

Spring - Summer 511 AV They had just gotten back from a hunt, and Xii had convinced the trappers to give her a bag of live mice. They were small brownish things with whitish-tan underbellies. Maybe the other young girls in the pavilion would have found the mice cute with their quivering whiskers and tiny tiny paws; she didn't know. Xii wasn't allowed around any of the other children, especially not alone. Mostly that was fine by her, though it would have been interesting to try to Hypnotize them into doing things. Xii herself didn't think the mice were particularly cute, though. They were food. Food for her, if she killed and cooked and ate them. Food for more traps, to catch bigger prey, which was what they were mostly used for, though their fur could be skinned off and used for doll clothes. But these unlucky mice were actually going to be food for Des, the yowlwing kit who was steadily growing into her full size. Mumma had named her. Des had become Xii's responsibility in the pavilion. Not really as a pet, but more like a companion until she was big and strong and healthy enough to be freed. Xii had to change her bandages every six days or so, sometimes earlier if the yowlwing tried to claw out of them. She had to Hypnotize her to behave correctly, otherwise she might be too wild to handle. She had to get her enough water, and make sure that the kit got rest and didn't run or play too hard and risk hurting her wing. And, of course, she had to feed her. Now the yowlwing could eat some plants, and she could be fed dead meat, though she turned up her nose at dried meats like jerky. But Xii's favorite thing to give her was live mice. This was because that meant getting to watch her hunt them, which was always good fun and much more interesting than most of the stuff that happened around here. Xii found her and her mumma's shared tent at the outer edge of the pavilion. Des was inside, lying in the shade on her belly. As soon as she saw the bag and caught a sniff of its contents, though, the cat-bird perked right up. Within a tick she was on her feet, yowling, batting with one clawed paw at Xii's leg. "Shht," Xii hissed, loud, and the yowlwing sullenly sat back on her haunches, tail flicking in annoyance. Xii brushed by her, and set the mice in their leather bag on the bed. Letting the mice out meant making sure they couldn't get too out, like out of the tent. So Xii went around the perimeter on her hands and knees, checking to see that the edges sat snug to the ground, digging her fingers under to see if she could. She couldn't. The Drykas set up their tents so that rain water wouldn't leak in from underneath. That meant that all Xii had to do was tie closed the tent flaps at the front and then weigh them down. She hadn't done this quite right the first time through, and the mice had wormed their way out. Turned out they could squeeze through very tight places. So now she made sure the flaps were weighed down with a line of heavy rocks. Then over the rocks Xii stuffed a couple blankets. That should seal off the tent good enough. Though of course if Mumma wanted to come in she could ruin the whole thing; the rocks might be big to the mice, but Mumma would be able to move them easy if she wanted to. So hopefully Mumma just would be too busy to come. Xii went back to the bag of mice, which Des was poking at on her bed. "Shht," she warned again, and the yowlwing jumped off to the ground. Her large greenish eyes stared up expectantly. They did not look away from the bag, not for one tick. "Get 'em," Xii murmured, and upturned the bag. The mice sprang out, three of them, all about the same size. Xii sat back and watched. Des' way of hunting intrigued her. She played with her prey. She didn't kill them, not right away. She toyed with them. Chased them, caught them, let them go, and then again. Over and over. Sometimes the mice would squeak quite loud in what Xii imagined was fear or pain. Most times they trembled while hanging from the predator's jaws. They would hang there, perhaps thinking that it was all over, if that was something that mice thought. And then Des would drop them, let them run awhile. If one crossed into open space she'd bat it around so it rolled across the ground. The mouse would try to run, and Des would suddenly jump up and pounce, bringing her paws down atop it. She'd hold it down and sometimes she'd nip or sometimes she'd just sit and stare down at the life held helpless under her paws. Then she'd let it go and do it all over again. It was only when the mice were either too hurt or too tired to put up any fight that Des would start to actually eat them. She didn't kill them before. She ate them alive. Xii had seen mice still able to blink and twitch their paws when their lower body had already been chewed off and swallowed. The whole process was fascinating, and amusing besides. And it made the young Zithling wonder. Why did the Drykas not hunt like this? She did not recall Zith even playing with their prey as Des did. But why not? Des' way of hunting was so much more interesting, and it looked fun, too. Xii had always only ever been on hunts that were so serious, sitting patient and sneaking up, and then over with a kill shot to the eye or the heart. But why? Why not wound the prey again and again? Running the prey ragged might be riskier, because maybe the animal would get away, but then again doing it Des' way would also be a lot more fun. These where questions, of course, that Xii was not allowed to ask. And if Mumma ever found out that Xii took pleasure from feeding the mice live, she might be in big trouble. It was just one of those things Mumma wouldn't like. On the floor, Des was still scampering around. Xii watched and smiled, and waited for it to end. After it was all over and the mice were dead, she gave Des some time to eat what she wanted. Then Xii bent and gathered up the rest of the bits, putting them back in the bag. She'd give the leftovers to Des later, when she was hungry again. Xii wished, besides being able to hunt like Des, that she could also eat like her. Zith could eat raw meat; half-Zith had to cook their food or they'd get sick. It was one of those things that had made her different from the colony, but there was also nothing to be done about it. It was just how things were. When the mouse scraps were put away, Xii took the blankets and rocks away and opened the flaps to the tent once more. Then she and Des sat in the shade where the yowlwing had lain before. Des pressed her side to Xii's leg, and Xii scratched her behind the ears as the winged creature lay down her head.

[Xii]

Summer 511 AV The time had come. This dawn was unlike the day that they had found Des. There were no stars and no brilliant colors. The sky was dark with clouds and the end of night. There was a strong breeze; it swayed the tall grasses and made them shudder. Xii felt it through Mumma's hand when her mumma shivered. Their hands were clasped. Mumma's face was sad but peaceful. Des was tucked into one of her slender arms. The bandages had been removed and Des' wing sat perfect and straight on her body. She had been going without the wrap for about six days now. Every day her wing had gotten stronger as she stretched and worked it. Yesterday, she had started to fly and Mumma had said it was time. So here they were. Des needed to be set free. They went out to the place they had found her. Mumma sniffled and hugged the yowlwing to her. Des squirmed against the containment. Xii reached out a hand and touched the cat-bird's head lightly with her fingers. "It's time to say goodbye," Mumma said softly. "It's time for her to be free." "Goodbye, Des," Xii said, and then Mumma let her go. The yowlwing took to the air. At first her flight was wobbly and Xii thought she would fall. She had enough time to wonder if that would break Des' wing again, snap it as it had been when they'd found her, and if that would mean they would take her back to the pavilion with them again. But then the breeze lifted, and Des went with it. She soared. And it was beautiful. Xii, looking up, felt something swell within her throat. Jealousy. Realization. Flying. Des was so free. Beside her, Mumma whispered something in a low voice that Xii couldn't hear, and she thought it might have been a prayer. Then her mumma turned, tugging on Xii's hand to come as she went. "I wanna stay here," Xii whispered, lagging behind, and Mumma let her hand go. "Oh darling," she said, shaking her head. But then she paused. She slowly started to nod. Mumma at last gave a small sad smile, and cupped Xii's cheek with her palm. "Of course, love. But only for a little while. I'll be gathering feverfew over there." She waved a hand in a vague direction. "I'll call you when I'm done." She turned and swayed away through the brush. Xii watched until Mumma had wandered far off, until she and Des were very much alone. She turned back to watch the sky. For a few more chimes the little half-Zith stood where she was and didn't move, just looked up with her head tilted back. Des spiraled through the air, sometimes circling close and yowling a greeting as she swooped to brush past Xii's side. Xii smiled. Then she took her bow and arrow from her back. She was not the best of hunters, but then she didn't have to be. Des did not think she was in danger at all. She didn't know to hide. Xii nocked an arrow, her bow-hand finger pointing straight to keep it steady on the string, pointing at Des as Xii tracked her. She pulled back, holding her breath, feeling the strain in her drawing arm. Then aimed and loosed. A miss. The arrow was picked by the wind and floated high, missing Des by a gust or more. Though the attack must have made a sound, that familiar whistle arrows made as they cut through the air, Des didn't seem to notice. The wind was loud. It was probably even louder in the sky. Xii took another arrow from the quiver on her back, and drew. Fired, missed again. Not the wind this time. Des had made a sudden dive, dropping down with her lovely wings pinned to her sides before snapping them out again and lifting slowly back up. Xii took another arrow, put it on the string with the arrowhead following her pointed finger, and waited. The wind should have been a problem, but Des could read it better than Xii ever could, and Xii could read Des. The animal seemed to know when the air would shift, and she shifted with it. Maybe that was a part of flying. Knowing things like that. Maybe that was a part of being free. Xii waited. Des went up, up, up until she was just a light-bellied speck against the dark howling sky. Xii waited. Then it happened. Again, a sudden dive. Standing grounded as she was, it looked like such fun. Such good fun. Xii waited until the moment Des snapped her wings out to catch the wind, and shot. Instead of the wind, the yowlwing caught an arrow in the side. She fell. Dust puffed up from the ground where she landed and was blown away. Xii slung her bow over her shoulder once more. Then without hesitation went to find what was left of her only friend. Des lay crumpled in some bushes, and Xii remembered the hissing from the scrub the last time they had been out here. But Des did not hiss now. She lay still, her breath coming fast in and out, mouth open and panting. The arrow stuck from just under her ribs on one side. Red blood wetted her smooth fur, a slow drip to the dirt. Xii reached out a hand and the yowlwing made a small mewling noise, starting to struggle. But Des did not bite when Xii drew her out of the bush, even though it must have hurt. Carefully, Xii laid her down on the ground. Then laid herself down beside the yowlwing in the grass, face to face. It was a slow thing. The small animal, only just out of youth, was in real pain. Sometimes she made as if to get up, but she could never do it, and always fell back down. Her breath came even faster. She stared over at Xii with her huge greenish eyes. The Zithling took her hand and put it on Des' head. Petted her. Ran her fingers over her small face and neck. Softly. Very softly. Xii reached inside herself, into the dark well in her mind that held the Hypnotism stones, and brought out one that shone bright silver like metal but which moved and bubbled like liquid, as if it could barely contain its shape. Whatever emotion it was (not even Xii really understood, it was too big for that, much much too big), she sent it out, rippling to the yowlwing. As she gave it, Des began to shiver and laid very still, and let out one last tiny sound like her own goodbye. Then the wind died, and Des died with it. For a moment Xii expected something, though she did not know what, and when it didn't come she didn't understand. She had seen many things die before. She had seen those mice die and felt pleasure at their loss. And she had seen her brother die, right before her, slain, and she had been filled up with hot red rage. There was always something. Here, there was just nothing. She didn't understand. Just nothing. The only thing was her own heart, beating very hard. She laid where she was in the dirt with her hand resting upon that small, soft still form until she heard her mumma start to call. Then she got up and brushed herself off. Walked away. She didn't try to collect her arrows and she did not look back. She just left. "Did she fly away, darling?" her mumma asked, when they were back together. She took Xii's hand and they went back towards the pavilion. They swung their arms. "She went away," Xii said, and felt her mumma squeeze her hand. As they walked, it started to rain.