Iasc wandered the streets aimlessly, his mind far from Syliras. He wore a brown robe, with his hood up and head bowed, bumping into strangers as his feet wove their way in, around and through the busy people. He had his mandolin in his hand, the neck obscured from view as it was up the sleeve of his robe. His mind was moving a hundred miles an hour, compared with his slow rambling pace. The last few weeks had been surreal; a living nightmare, some people might say. Sleepless nights and soul torturing days, with no end in sight. His new job had let him escape for small periods and for that he was grateful. However, when he was not playing music he could feel himself losing control over his mind. This was one of those times.
Shapes started to dance around his head. From circles to dodecahedra and everything in between. He looked at them curiously, not sure what to make of them, putting a hand out slowly, in order to touch them, but as his hand approached they flitted away only to be replaced by multitudes of colours. These colours moved like the shapes, except faster, zooming past his eyes, barely giving him the time to process what was happening. He began to see patterns in the colours. Sequences which contained numbers and letters. "I must be going insane", he thought to himself in a surprisingly calm tone.
Suddenly, he felt a bright flash hit him. He couldn't think properly. The streets were too narrow. He was about to faint. A shudder ran up his body as he lurched forward, trying to escape to freedom.
He hit the ground hard. He lay motionless for a few moments, and then stretched his fingers. He could feel stone. He let his cheek rub off the ground. He could feel the cold welcome him. After a chime he opened his eyes and sat up. He was in a courtyard of some sort. There were benches lining the edges, with grass separating each bench. Inside them was the stone floor and in the centre of the courtyard was a freshly cut grass. He breathed in deeply letting the smell of the grass fill his lungs.
He looked around the courtyard, still sitting comfortably on the ground. There were few people here but those that were there looked at him as they walked by. “How strange I must look”, he thought to himself. Walking halfway around the courtyard, in a zen like trance, he sat sat down on a piece of grass between two benches. He crossed his legs, closed his eyes and put his mandolin on his knee, ready to play. He began to strum chords silently to himself, humming along with it. He was trying to find the rhythm, get to the place where he was at one with the music. He began to strum a little louder. E minor, D and two beats on G. He could feel the music coursing through his body. With his eyes still closed he began to sing slowly.
| Well I won't back down, No I won't back down, You can stand me up in the darkest void, But I won't back down. |
He hummed the melody, moving his head rhythmically from side to side. He knew that people were still going about their lives around him, they may even watch for a second, but he didn't care. There was only one thing that mattered to him in that moment.
He had to try and detach himself from reality. Take himself out of this moment and be released into the dark nothingness, the only place he knew that he could feel safe.
| I'm gonna stand my ground, Won't be turned around, And I keep this world from dragging me down, Gonna stand my ground |
He began to smile as he sang. He was starting to feel better, more alive. He finally opened his eyes and was greeted by a group of people watching. They were looking at him curiously. It seemed as though they were trying to figure out if there was something wrong with the young man.
To be honest it didn't matter if they were enjoying themselves or not. Iasc was playing for himself, the way he always did.
He sang the refrain at the top of his lungs, his head shaking wildly from side to side.
| Hey yeah, there ain't no easy way out. Hey I will stand my ground, and I won't back down. And I won't back down. Well I know what's right, I got just one life In a world that keeps on pushing me around But I'll stand my ground ...and I won't back down |
He felt like a new man as he sat there playing away. All his troubles seemed to disappear. It always happened when he played music. It always put him in a great mood. He finished the song with the same amount of gusto, not letting his new smile falter.
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I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
