Completed [Kyole's Butcher Shop] Bloody Hilarious (Solo)

[Orin Fenix]

6th of Summer, 516AV

Orin’s latest plans on his quest for knowledge were sending him to all sorts of odd places. He wanted to visit the library at some point, but he was still finding his way around and had decided that it would be best to start with something a little closer to home, something that was more in his wheelhouse. Which is why Orin had decided to seek out some of the other culinary masters of the city.

Orin recognized that his frantic headlong rush to broaden his mind was unsustainable. And it was probably just a side effect of his depression, an outgrowth of the manic energy he tended to throw into his work. It probably wasn’t healthy, but then again, Orin had never taken particularly good care of his mind, or his body for that matter. He seemed rather insignificant in the grand scheme of the world. After all, one human, one chef, couldn’t really do anything in his lifetime that would make a measurable impact.

At least the anxious drive to keep moving was preferable to the lethargy he’d felt in the past season or so. Not being able to make himself leave his bed had been scary, in retrospect. At the time, though, doing anything, anything at all, had seemed too difficult. This, though Orin thought he could live with, as long as he didn’t drive himself into exhaustion of course. Which, at the breakneck speed he kept trying to go at, might be a distinct possibility.

It hadn’t happened yet, though. Orin strode towards his next destination. His city map was getting a lot of work, as Orin explored each new location that spoke to him. Today, his plans were to visit Kyole’s Butcher Shop. Although Orin knew nothing about the place, he had a couple questions. Besides, a chef should always do well to get on the good side of local suppliers. Otherwise, he’d receive inferior goods.

When Orin entered the shop, the first thing he noticed was the smell. Instead of smelling of blood and death and meats, instead it smelled fresh, almost sweet. If Orin had to guess, he’s say that it was probably some sort of herb scent. It was pleasant, much better than most butchers Orin had visited, who tended to fall far on the other side of the scent spectrum. The second thing he noticed, though, was even more out of the ordinary.

There was an Akalak in front of him, which would be ordinary enough. However, this Akalak was wearing a gown and had long blonde tresses falling to his waist. Or, as the evidence before him seem to say, despite his mind knowing it was wrong, her waist, apparently. Orin’s jaw dropped. And stayed down, as he tried to sort out the sight before him. As far as he knew, Akalaks were an exclusively male race. Or at least, Orin had never seen a female one. Or even a feminine one. As he was trying to come up with an appropriate response, the Akalak put his or her hands on his or her hips and boomed out in a basso voice ”What? Ain’t you ever seen a lady before?”

Orin couldn’t help it. He burst out into hysterical laughter. The Akalak grinned, and whipped off the hair, which turned out to be a wig, and pulled off the gown, revealing a shirt and trousers beneath it, with big clomping boots. “Good, huh? I can’t wait to try it on my regulars.” Orin was laughing so hard he was crying, and doubled over. The Akalak seemed to appreciate the cook’s response as he stowed away his props.

When Orin finally recovered, the Akalak was standing before him. Or rather, towering, as the race was won’t to do. Sticking his purple hand out, the Akalak smiled welcomingly at Orin. ”I’m Kyole, owner of this humble shop. Welcome, stranger, and please, how can I help you. Also, I was expecting someone else, so apologies for the getup.”

Orin waved away the apology. ”No, thank you actually. I...think I needed that laugh.” And he did, at least to remind himself that there were still unexpected joys in life.

“I’m Orin Fenix. I’m relatively new to the city, and I’m getting the lay of the land so to speak. I’m a chef, and I always like to get to know the people who will supply me.” Or at least, Orin would do that, if he were in charge of his own kitchen. Which was still the dream, someday. Still, it was good practice, especially for someone who, like Orin, didn’t always make the best impression on people.

Kyole, for his part, lit up at Orin’s answer. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Orin. And you’ve come to the best place. Of course, I’m a bit biased, but don’t let that deter you!”

The Akalak’s friendliness was refreshing. So many of them seemed serious, although some of that might be the height and the muscles. Orin always felt intimidated by them. Something in him relaxed, some hidden fear of being attacked that he hadn’t even realized. “It’s nice to meet you too! And actually, I do think there’s something you can help me with, if you don’t mind and you’re available.”

In response, Kyole pulled out two stools from behind his counter. ”Sit my new friend, sit.” They were very high, but Orin figured they were Akalak sized. Kyole gestured that Orin should sit and Orin clamored rather ungracefully onto his perch. When he finally settled, Orin noticed Kyole chuckling under his breath. ”Ah, the stool makes my human visitors look foolish every time.” There was no malice in Kyole’s tone, and so Orin’s annoyance soon turned to rueful acceptance.

[Orin Fenix]

Settling in for what he hoped would be a long visit, Orin leaned forward, placing his hands flat on his thighs. ”I’d like to know more about where the meat I use comes from. Sort of…well, I know, obviously that the animals don’t magically transform into the cuts I use in the kitchen. But I don’t know how. And I think knowing would help me with my cooking” Kyole’s face lit up, and Orin felt the first stirrings of hope in his chest. Perhaps this visit would yield results beyond those he’d been expecting. Admittedly, he’d expected to be laughed at and then booted out. While the laughter had happened, it seemed Orin might have discovered a kindred soul.

Kyole jumped to his feet, the motion so startling that Orin flinched. But it seemed the Akalak was aware this effect would have on his visitor. Never in his wildest imagination would Orin have expected to meet a playful Akalak. ”I think that’s a noble endeavor! So, let’s get straight to it.” Cracking his knuckles, Kyole went over to the nearest pieces of meat. “Now, I assume you’re familiar with the different cuts of meat,” the Akalak asked. Orin nodded cautiously. Seeing that, Kyole continued. ”What you’re probably unaware of is that each cut comes from either a different part of the animal in question, or that each cut comes from an animal that’s either a different age or has been fed differently.”

Gone was the silly jokester. In his place was a passionate man who was clearly in his element. Orin sat, rapt with attention. While the subject matter probably wasn’t fascinating to anyone other than the two of them, for now, this discussion seemed like the most important event in the world. ”Any questions?” Orin shook his head, tentatively. So far, nothing seemed all that complicated. Still, being asked filled Orin with satisfaction, and even though Kyole already had Orin hook, line, and sinker, as the student here it made Orin feel like an active participant as opposed to a passive learner. Orin made a note to try and use the same technique on any students that might come to his path.

The thought of students temporarily brought Orin’s mind out of the butcher’s shop. It had been quite a while since he’d taught anyone. Partially that was because no one had been around who wanted to learn. Mostly, though, it was because Orin hadn’t made himself available. While in the past he hadn’t been much of a teacher and he still made many mistakes with pupils, he’d enjoyed the act, the passing on of knowledge. Maybe it was time to try his hand at teaching again.

However, Kyole was talking again and Orin felt his thoughts return to the matter at hand. ”Now, the meat that comes here isn’t the first step. The hunters have to dress their kills, which requires a very specific process. Do you know about field dressing.” Orin tilted his head and thought for a moment. It sounded familiar, almost as if he should know what it was, but nothing specific was springing to mind. So, again, Orin shook his head.

Kyole smiled at Orin, mischief in his eyes. ”A true beginner. Ah well, we can’t all be as skilled and as pretty as me.” Clearly he was referring to his joke from before, and Orin laughed dutifully.

[Orin Fenix]

Again, though, Kyole seemed to sober up, and this time didn’t pause. ”Alright, listen carefully. I ain’t got all day here. Basically, field dressing is getting rid of all the dangerous or unimportant bits before hauling your carcass into the butcher. Or wherever you’re taking it to. Mind you, the example I’m about to give is for deer, which is what I get here a lot. The process is a bit different for every animal.” That made sense to Orin, who figured that since every animal was treated differently in the kitchen, every animal had to be treated differently outside the kitchen too.

”The first thing you aught to do is make a cut or an incision or however you’d like to call it near the anus of the animal.” Orin was frankly surprised that the silly Akalak didn’t try and make a joke out of anus, as many immature people did. Apparently the humor could be turned off if needed. Kyole, however was moving on quickly with the explanation. ”You cut up from that to the breast area, to expose the insides. First thing to go is the stomach, then the intenstines, then the anus itself.” The Akalak pointed, emphasizing the next part. ”That stuff is toxic to most people.” Orin frowned trying to place everything, but he wasn’t an expert of anatomy of any kind, so it was a bit hard to follow this part.

Kyole didn’t seem to notice Orin’s discomfort, and so Orin simply filed the information away, still struggling to follow along. ”After the bad stuff is all gone, you can get the good stuff. Heart, liver, lungs, it’s all gotta go. Your choice what to do with it.”

Orin frowned, disturbed. The chef, asked, incredulously, “you mean, people actually get rid of the organs? But those are the best part!”

Kyole laughed, a big booming belly laugh that filled the whole shop. ”I’m with you there kid, but there’s no accounting for taste. Anyway, once all that’s done, you take the carcass somewhere else, and string it up.” Kyole failed to offer an explanation of why, but Orin figured that it didn’t really matter. One didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Or, as the case may be, a gift lesson on how to field dress a deer.

Kyole made vague motions in the air as he talked. ”Make sure that the front legs are behind the head. You also hafta prop the back legs apart. Toss some water in there to get rid of anything that might’ve got in there when you cut it open, then leave it there for about a bell. After that, it’s safe to transport fully.” Kyole scratched his head as Orin tried to cram all that information into his brain. The butcher shrugged, saying, ”I probably missed something here and there, but honestly, there’s no substitute for just going out there and doing it once or twice.”

Orin supposed that much made sense, and gave up on remembering every single detail. Maybe he’d track down a hunter and convince him or her to take Orin out on the next trip outside the city. The thought of a hunter being tracked brought the ghost of a smile to the cook’s face. Orin hadn’t gotten a chance to explore the area much yet, and he wondered what it was like outside the city walls. He imagined it would be quite distinct from The Bronze Woods and the Cobalt Mountains.

[Orin Fenix]

Kyole showed no signs of stopping, so Orin stretched his back as the stool started to be more uncomfortable. The Akalak was really in his element now, explaining, ”That method works well for deer and most other large animals of that sort. Birds are much different. With birds you gotta pluck the intenstines and organs and anus out, sure, but then you hafta remove this weird thing called a crop from around the bird’s neck.”

Kyole peered more closely at Orin. ”But I take it from the sort of dazed expression in your eyes that we’ve heard enough about this subject.” Orin nodded his agreement. Field dressing didn’t necessarily seem difficult, although Orin would probably mess it all up the first few times he would try it. In Orin’s opinion, and as Kyole said, it did seem like something best learned by doing.

Putting his hands on his hips, Kyole gave a chime or so for his pupil to recover before moving on. “Now, next up is skinning. What, you didn’t think the skin just fell off all on its own, didja?” Sadly, Orin hadn’t given all much thought to that particular aspect. He felt rather silly now that Kyole brought it up. Of course the fur had to be removed, somehow. Else it wouldn’t be very easy to cook with.

Rubbing his hands together Kyole thought for a moment before proceeding. “Let’s stick with the deer scenario. Okay, so you’ve strung it up and let it sit there for a bell. Next, you make a cut on the inside of its hind legs all the way from the top to the bottom. You cut around a circle around the bottom, around the hooves. Next the skin should be free, so you start removing it from the meat.” Kyole shrugged at Orin’s puzzled expression.”Again, it’s probably better to do then talk about, for a newcomer.” Orin sighed, but waved Kyole on. It seemed that finding a hunter to show him the ropes was moving up to the top of Orin’s to do list.

Kyole though, kept speaking excitedly. “Alright, here it gets a bit tricky. You cut between the spine near the tail, otherwise you ain’t gonna be able to keep going. At that point, though, you should be able to sort of pull it all off until you hit the front legs. There, you cut from the hooves down the inside to the torso, which should be freed.” Orin hoped Kyole was right, that it was easier done than said, because right now this process seemed incredibly complicated. He’d had no idea that it took this much effort and work for the ingredients to arrive in his kitchen. From now on, Orin would treat his meat providers, and probably all his suppliers, with quite a bit more respect.

Kyole was nearing the end of this portion of the lecture, as evidenced by his slightly more controlled gestures. “You’ll have to saw off the head as the last step.” Orin wondered if there was a way to skin the head, but figured that asking questions at this point would potentially dry up the well of information, so he kept quiet. Besides, he was a bit lost, although he was following along with the process as best he could. ”That’s about it for skinning. Again, birds are different, what with the feathers and all.” That part made sense to Orin, at least.

[Orin Fenix]

Kyole clapped his hands together excitedly. “Now, my favorite part! Once you’ve brought the carcass to your butcher, the hunter’s job is done and my job begins.” There was an almost childlike glee and Orin knew that Kyole simply just loved his job, bloody as it was. ”First cuts you make is at the shoulders. If you’re having trouble finding where to cut those, pull the leg away and then sort of saw at the joint.” Kyole mimed the motions, although without an actual deer or any kind of object there it wasn’t doing Orin much good.

”Next up is the back. You can either get rid of the fat or keep it, entirely up to you. But for the meat, cut under the back straps and the slice it to the backbones. Your gonna have to then cut it all along the backbone to the neck. Those slices should free up the meat, and then you just kind of slice and peel from there.” Orin frowned, trying to imagine the carcass in the same way Kyole was. He was having trouble picturing exactly what the Akalak meant without having a visual aid, but for now he remained silent. At the end, maybe he’d ask if he could watch Kyole cut up a carcass, or even do it himself when he got a chance. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea Orin had ever had, but the knowledge probably couldn’t hurt in the long run, and it hadn’t cost Orin anything.

However, his musings almost made him miss Kyole’s next explanation, so Orin tried to banish all errant thoughts and focus on the topic on hand. ”The neck comes next. Follow the cuts you made on the pack, and then take the meat up to the throat and windpipe. After that you’ll move onto the front. The rib cage meat and the neck meat are really good for grinding up. And the meat along the rib cage makes a nice brisket.” Orin perked up at that. It was the first time Kyole had mentioned anything about where the different cuts of meat actually came from. While the rest of this information was useful, it was these tidbits that Orin was really excited about. Maybe, one day, Orin could make a meal where he completed ever step from field to table.

Kyole noted Orin’s renewed interest, but didn’t stop his flow. ”Alright, that means were done with everything but the hindquarters of the deer. You can saw off the backbone now to make the rest of your job easier. Now, something you’ll probably enjoy is cutting out the sirloin.” Kyole was right, as Orin immediately sat up straighter and stared intently at the Akalak. ”Start down by the knee, then cut up the leg until you’ve reached the hip. Then turn your blade and finish slicing it off.” Orin nodded eagerly, once again captured by their discussion. And that particular cut didn’t seem difficult at all, and it was one of the best parts of the animal for cooking.

”Once the sirloin is off, you can get at the meat on the rest of the hindquarters. Cut from the back of the leg, right about here.” Kyole bent over and pointed at a part of his leg just around the ankle. Orin was grateful that Kyole seemed to have figured out Orin was having trouble following along. Using his own body as a teaching tool was brilliant in Orin’s mind, and he idly wondered why Kyole hadn’t used it before. “Now, cut this all the way up to the knee and around, which should free the rest of the meat. The meat you have there is actually three different areas, and you can and should pull those apart by hand.”

[Orin Fenix]

Kyole smiled and stretched his arms out, clearly tired out but pleased to have gotten through that long-winded explanation. “Almost done, I promise. You go over the animal once again, scraping off any meat that’s left. I’m sure you know that these scraps are good for grinding up or for stews.” Kyole’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember the next step in the process. [color=White][b]”Oh! I almost forgot. You gotta remove some bones. The shoulder bones are two lines, one branching off the other. Cut it out, then again, take the remains for whatever you do with your leftover meat.”

Kyole shrugged at that point before continuing on. “Now what you do is your personal preference. I’d recommend cutting off the excess fatty stuff and the harder parts of the meat, especially the muscles, but if you can think of a use for them, by all means keep them. After all that’s done, they’re ready for presentation and sale and use.” At that, Kyole threw his arms out to encompass his whole shop in an almost theatrical and definitely comical gesture. Orin snorted at the sight, which had probably been Kyole intention all along.

Settling into a more normal position, Kyole peered at Orin. ”Any questions, young man?”

Orin glanced around the shop. His eyes lighted upon some strange looking kits. ”Just one. What are those?” Orin pointed in the corner that contained the strange packets and Kyole’s gaze followed Orin’s finger.

”Ah! Those are a few different items. Some are seasonings, which I imagine you know all about. Some, however, are preservation kits, which let you do all sorts of fun things to your meats – smoke it, salt it, make it into jerky. I’d be happy to show you how.” Kyole seemed to have an endless energy for talking about subjects he cared about.

Orin however, didn’t, especially not these day, when getting out of bed was a chore. He thought about it for a moment, but decided he’d taken up more than enough of the kindly Akalak’s time. “Maybe some other day. I’m sure you have other task that need your attention.” Kyole nodded his acceptance, which Orin took to mean the Akalak would be amenable to another meeting. For the first time in a long while, Orin felt excited about at least some small part of his future. Little by little, day-by-day, he was picking up the pieces of his shattered life. While he would never be the same person he was before he left, maybe he could make something new of the shattered remnants of his soul.

Before he could follow that particular train of thought to its conclusion, though, Kyole clasped Orin’s shoulder and then grabbed starting making his way to the door. “I’d be happy to keep teaching you, young Orin. Especially because, now that I’ve taught you all that, I can finally retire! The shop is yours. Don’t mind the ghosts, they don’t bite. Much.” While Orin was sputtering with confusion at this turn of events, Kyole swept out the door, and left Orin alone. In the middle of the unfamiliar shop that Orin had no idea how to run. While Orin’s mind was still struggling to keep up with this turn of events, Kyole poked his head around the door, and then burst out laughing.

Realizing that this was yet another joke by the Akalak, Orin sighed, but smiled. ”Very funny. You’re hilarious.”

Kyole slapped his legs, doubled over with hilarity. “If only you could’ve seen the look on your face!” he choked out between chuckles. Once he’d finally gotten himself under control, Kyole stretched out a hand for Orin to shake. Orin took it and found his own hand engulfed by the larger man’s. ”In all seriousness, it was nice to meet you Orin. Come again soon.”

”It was nice to meet you too, Kyole, and thanks again.” Grinning, Orin retrieved his hand, and made his way past the Akalak into the sunlight. He called over his shoulder as he walked away. ”You may end up regretting that offer!” Orin broke into a slight jog so that Kyole didn’t have a chance to respond or play yet another trick on Orin.

Rounding the nearest corner, Orin skidded to a halt, breathing slightly labored even from that light exercise. Still, he felt good, much better than he had in a long time, if not back to his previous levels of cheerfulness. Leaning against a nearby wall, he closed his eyes. Maybe all Orin had needed was a reminder that there could still be laughter and joy in his life. ”Thank you, Priskil. I know your light shines in the most mysterious of places and peoples.” With that, Orin set off again, new purpose in his steps.

[Faradae]

Orin
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E X P E R I E N C E

• Philosophy +1
• Socialization +2

L O R E S

• Philosophy: One's own insignificance in the grand scheme of the world
• Riverfall Location: Kyole’s Butcher Shop
• Kyole Vastanik: Owner of Kyole's Butcher Shop
• Kyole Vastanik: Good for a prank and a laugh
• Kyole Vastanik: An eager teacher
• Butchering: Different cuts - different animals, ages, food
• Field dressing comes before butchering
• Hunting: Gutting a deer (in theory)
• Hunting: Cutting apart a deer (in theory)
• Skinning: Removing the hide from an animal
• Skinning a deer (in theory)
• Brisket: The meat along a deer's ribcage
• Sirloin: Cut from a deer's leg

N O T E S

This was enjoyable, although I share Orin's trouble imagining exact cuts when I don't have them in front of my eyes. There's so much display of skill here, but none of it is truly seizable for Orin. With his utter lack in skills such as hunting and butchery, I can't bring myself to award XP here - if we put him in front of a freshly killed deer with a knife right now, he still wouldn't truly know what to do if nobody showed him. Get back to me if you disagree and we can discuss the matter.
Still, there's a number of specialized lores in this, abeit "theoretical" at this point. I did award them as facts that Orin has heard about and may partly remember if he ever gets a shot at a less imaginary deer.

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