Solo Does That Make Me Crazy?

[Asterope]

86th/Spring/518 AV

Asterope was losing her mind. At least, that's what it felt like. It had started at the beginning of the season, and over the days had just gotten worse and worse, and now she felt like she was completely insane.

It started with a general feeling of unease, and built from there. Always feeling like she was being watched, followed. Glancing sharply over her shoulder every few moments. Hearing people whispering and just knowing they were talking about her. It was enough to drive anybody mad.

A deep, buried part of her knew the reason why. For the hundredth time that day, Aster brushed her fingers over her pocket, making sure the vertebrae was still there. At first when she'd discovered it, it had just been an oddity she wanted to keep. Now, if she didn't have it on her, she was likely to spiral into a breakdown.

Aster paced around her room, fingers still brushing over her pocket before they delved inside, rubbing the smooth surface of the bone, feeling the circles etched into it; it calmed her racing heart slightly. Navi sat by the bed, watching Aster pace, her ears pinned back and a small whine leaving her.

Aster's head snapped to the side as she looked at Navi. The mutt whined again, standing up and trotting over to the door. "No," Aster said, firmly, her fingers clutching tightly around the bone in her pocket. She didn't want to go outside, where everyone would stare at her and whisper about her, where someone, something would surely follow her down every street.

But out of her mind as she was in the moment, she wasn't entirely insane, and she still was weak to Navi's puppy eyes; the dog whined, blinking at Aster pleadingly, and after a long moment the Eth relented. "Ten chimes, that's it," She told the dog, swallowing as she moved to the door, her hand trembling faintly as she opened it. "Fine, you're fine, it will be fine," She whispered to herself. She had her dagger strapped to her hip, and Navi with her; she would be fine.

Her whole body tense, she left her room, following Navi down the stairs and out of the inn, barely giving Georgia a tight smile as she breezed by and outside. It was early evening, the sun still in the sky, slowly creeping towards the horizon. The warm sunlight was a balm that Aster hadn't realized she'd needed, warming her skin and calming her. It was soothing. Asterope inhaled deeply, and reached down to curl her fingers in the fur of Navi's neck as she began to walk, her other hand clutching the bone in her pocket.

[Asterope]

The soothing warmth of Syna beaming down on her, coupled with the smooth bone between her fingers and Navi's soft fur clutched in her other hand, kept her mostly calm. The senses were grounding, and Aster simply focused on breathing in and out, taking one step at a time.

Navi, on her part, seemed to sense something was wrong, and was behaving for once. She walked slowly, sticking close to Aster, her furry flank brushing the Eth's legs every so often. They passed a small group of women, and Aster flinched at the sudden laugh one let out, the sound driving straight into the pit of her stomach, sharp and edged with anxiety.

They continued on, but Aster kept glancing furtively over her shoulder; what was so funny? Did she look strange? Was something on her face? Aster relinquished her hold on Navi for a brief moment to skim her clammy hand over her face, pat down her dress and body. Nothing seemed amiss. Still, the hair on the back of her neck prickled as if she was being watched.

Swallowing hard, Aster forced in a deep breath, reaching down to grab onto Navi's scruff again; but well-behaved as she was being, she was still a dog. So when a cat suddenly came streaking out of a nearby building, Navi barked excitedly and bounded forward to give chase, all else forgotten.

Aster swore, a mixture of frustration and panic clogging her throat. "Navi, come back here!" She broke into a run, chasing after the mutt, weaving between people as she ran down the street, her steps hard on the cobblestone.

She just wanted to go back to the inn; she could practically feel the key in her pocket tugging at her dress, showing her the way back, taunting her. But she couldn't leave Navi out alone in the city. What if something happened to her?

She was beginning to lose her breath. Aster sucked in air, panting as she pushed forward, her eyes focused on the wispy brown tip of Navi's tail. Alarm rose in her as she realized she was going to lose sight of the dog. Ahead, Navi gave another bark, and in a blur of brown and white fur turned a sharp left.

Aster skidded to a halt as she reached the corner, whipping around on her heel to continue chasing Navi, only to find herself in a narrow alleyway. Navi stood a few feet in front of her, sniffing along the ground beneath an open window in the wall, ears angled back with disappointment at losing her prey.

The tension in Aster ran out upon seeing Navi standing there, and she leaned against the wall as she caught her breath, chest rising and falling rapidly as she sucked in air. Her heart hammered hard and fast in her chest, from more than just the exertion of running.

"Bad girl," Aster frowned down at Navi as the mutt came trotting back over, but there was no force or venom behind the words. Her breathing calming, she pushed herself off of the wall, hand moving down to pat her pocket and make sure the vertebrae was still safely tucked away. Content that it was, Aster whistled for Navi and began to walk down the alleyway; had it always been so narrow?

[Asterope]

Navi trotted along ahead of Aster, whose steps were quick and uneven. She wanted to leave the alley as soon as possible and get back to her room. The alleyway seemed to stretch on forever ahead of her, and it was getting darker. Had the sun set? No, she hadn't shifted forms; it couldn't be that late just yet.

Still, the shadows seemed to creep closer, the light dimming further. A puddle splashed underfoot; when had it been raining? It hadn't, but the stone beneath Aster's feet was now damp and littered with puddles, water dripping somewhere and echoing throughout the narrow space.

Navi seemed oblivious, trotting along a few paces ahead. Aster increased her walking speed, hurrying to catch up to the dog, her footsteps echoing around her. The echoes sounded wrong, however, and it took Asterope a few moments to realize that it wasn't just her footsteps bouncing back to her.

Dread settled cold in the pit of her stomach, her chest tightening and mouth going dry. Someone was behind her, oh stars, someone was following her. She knew it was a bad idea to leave the inn, knew it. Swallowing, Aster hunched her shoulders up and peeked back behind her, her heart hammering in her throat.

Behind her, far enough that she couldn't see their face but close enough to make her already racing pulse jump, Aster could see a figure. They were walking fast, as if trying to catch up with her, their steps determined. A dark cloak shadowed their figure, hood pulled up over their head. In the shallow light, something metal glinted dimly in their hand.

Panic flooded Aster, all sensible thought flying out of her mind, and she took off at a dead sprint forward, yelling for Navi to follow. She could feel the eyes of the stranger boring into her back, hear their footsteps getting closer, their breathing on the nape of her neck. Asterope was in a panic, terror clutching her with its cold, sharp fingers as she ran blindly forward.

[Asterope]

There was a corner ahead. Aster could see the sharp edge of the wall. Desperation fueled her as she sprinted forward, flying down the alleyway, Navi bounding ahead of her. Almost there, almost there; she almost slammed face-first into the wall as she tried to slide to a halt, her boots skidding on the wet stone.

Turning the corner, she stumbled to a stop before she could get a proper running start again, her brain grinding similarly to a halt as she tried to piece together what she was seeing and where she was. She felt sick; the turn had deposited her back at the mouth of the alley, behind the stranger, who was now so much closer to her.

The figure turned to face her, and Aster stumbled backward, but her back hit a solid wall. Of all the times for the city to turn on her, it had picked the worst. Or perhaps it was Ionu's idea of a sick joke. With shaking hands, Aster scrabbled at her waist, unsheathing her dagger and holding it out unsteadily in front of her.

"Stay back," She warned, her voice trembling. Her ears were ringing, and her own voice sounded distant and dull, as if underwater. She could hear a deep voice; the stranger was saying something, but she couldn't make out what. He was approaching slowly, hands up, reaching for her. "Stay back!" Aster shrieked again, her grip tightening on the hilt of her dagger, knuckles bone-white. Where was Navi?!

He stepped closer, his hand with the weapon reaching out towards her, metal glinting in the dim light. Panic gripped Aster by the throat, choking her, and she lashed out with a trembling arm. A muffled, faint cry; good, she had hit him. He hadn't dropped his weapon though. He wasn't moving, so close to her, within grabbing distance. His other hand was reaching for his pocket, his arm closest to her moving to grab her weaponless arm.

Aster let out a wordless cry, launching forward and barreling into the man, slashing wildly with her dagger, managing to knock the two of them to the damp ground. More muffled yells as he struggled beneath her, but he was bigger than she was. He rolled them over easily, pinning Aster beneath him. He was saying something, shouting something, but all she could hear was her blood rushing, heart pounding, and that distant ringing.

Aster squirmed, kicking with her legs, shoving her head up to headbutt the man, knowing she needed to get away. A dull, faint crack echoed as her head connected with his nose. He grunted, rearing back, and then something came down across the side of her face. Her head snapped to the side, mind reeling and buzzing. She could feel something warm and wet on her cheek.

Something hard hit her wrist, and she howled in pain, fingers jerking open on reflex and sending her dagger skittering across the ground. The man lunged for it, removing himself from her, and Aster scrambled away, breathing hard, the whites of her eyes glinting as fear drowned out any potential of rational thought, the man turning to face her, her own dagger held in his hand.

He didn't get the chance. A muffled roar sounded, like a wave crashing, drowning everything else out, and Navi came barreling down the alley, leaping at the man. Aster watched with wide eyes as the two tussled, and her eyes flew to the ground in front of her as her dagger skidded across to land at her feet.

Aster stretched forward, grabbing it in a shaky hand. In front of her, the man managed to shove Navi away, his foot landing on her nose, then against the side of her head, sending the poor dog shying away. He lurched to his knees, focused on the dog, raising one of his hands.

Navi. He was going to hurt Navi, he was going to kill Navi, she couldn't let that happen. He wasn't looking at her, wasn't paying attention to her off to the side. Adrenaline and fear pumping through her veins, surging through her like a drug, Aster struggled to her feet and threw herself at the man before he could move.

[Asterope]

It was like hitting a wall, the breath rushing out of her, but she didn't care, instead slashing blindly and then thrusting the dagger. She felt it more than anything else; the slight resistance, then the push, the glide. Aster pulled the dagger back, stabbing again and again, blindly, the two of them a tangle of limbs and cloak, having no idea if she managed to hit her mark again. If she did, it was pure, blind luck.

Something hard hit her shoulder, then her collarbone, and she felt more than heard it snap, searing pain like fire igniting under her skin. The dagger tumbled from her fingers again as she reached up to grip her shoulder, hissing at the pain. The dagger changed hands again, like a partner being passed in some sort of sick, panic-fueled dance.

Aster saw it flash towards her, felt sick, realized what was going to happen when a solid body of fur slammed into her, sending her toppling to the side. She felt the edge of the blade slice along her side shallowly, a shadow of where it was meant to dig into her stomach. Her head was spinning, pain erupting along her shoulder and wrist, stinging her side, her head pounding; Aster lay stunned for a moment, the world tilting around her as she looked up at the sky.

Two things happened at once, snapping the world back into sharp relief, the ringing in her ears dimming and sounds flooding back to her, the fog that had been fuzzily shrouding her mind lifting. First, Navi let out a sharp, pained howl, so loud that it was all Aster could hear, even drowning out her racing heart. Second, something warm and wet sprayed across her face and side, and a gurgling, choking sound came into existence as Navi's howl died out.

Aster pushed herself into a sitting position, wincing, staring down at herself. Her right side was splattered liberally with blood. Her gaze moved over to where Navi and the man were, and her heart just about stopped. The man was lying lifeless in a slowly growing pool of blood, his throat ripped open, the skin torn and jagged where Navi's teeth had torn through. Slowly, the realization of what had happened filtered into Aster's mind, horror and revulsion building in her throat. And Navi...

"Navi," Aster gasped, crawling over. "No, no, no," She repeated, dropping down next to the dog. Navi was laying on her side, breathing shallowly, Aster's dagger stuck deep in her chest. Tears welled up in the Eth's eyes, flowing freely, streaking hotly down her cheeks and dripping off her chin.

"It's fine," Aster babbled, a sob hiccuping through her as Navi raised her head weakly, whining. Her eyes were dim, glazed over. "It's fine, Navi, sweetie, you're fine. It'll be okay, I'll make you okay." Her thoughts were jumbled; she was supposed to be calm in emergencies, she was supposed to know what to do!

Reaching with a trembling hand, Aster pulled the dagger from Navi, sobbing openly at the pathetic, pained whines that left the dog. Blood spilled from the wound, staining Asterope's hands further until they were painted crimson. She had the thought that the colour would never come out.

Ripping a ragged piece of cloth from the hem of her dress, Aster soothed Navi, whispering calming nothings as she pressed down on the wound, focusing hard. Her hands glowed dimly beneath the drying layers of blood, but it wasn't enough. It was too late. Navi's breathing was growing more and more shallow by the moment, her eyelids fluttering, her whimpering tapering off into silence.

"Please don't," Aster whispered, curling up beside Navi, her voice broken and barely audible through her tears. "Please don't leave me, Navi." She curled her bloodied fingers into the mutt's fur, burying her face in her neck. Navi gave another weak whine, and Aster's sobs were only renewed when she felt the dog's rough tongue pass over her cheek.

She felt it when Navi left. The big dog shuddered, and the shallow rise and fall of her side suddenly ceased, leaving everything still and silent except for Aster's stuttering sobs as she curled closer to Navi, clutching onto her tightly, squeezing her eyes shut.

[Asterope]

Aster had no idea how long she lay there for, but when she finally raised her head, her face streaked with tears, it was night. She had shifted forms, and Navi was cold and still beneath her. Her whole body ached, her skin stiff with drying blood; some of it hers, some of it Navi's, some of it the stranger's.

Her gaze tiredly moved to the man. In his hand was a metal flute. A crazed giggle left Aster, bursting suddenly and uncontrollably from her mouth. A flute; he'd been holding a flute the entire time. And now he was dead. She'd killed him; maybe not directly, but close enough. And Navi was dead too, and she was all alone.

Fresh tears flowed down her face, but they were silent. What was she going to do? Would the Speakers come after her? Would they believe it was self-defense; or at least, so she thought? She'd been so blindly terrified...

Aster's hand dove into her pocket, pulling out the carved vertebrae. She stared at it; she could feel anger deep in the pit of her stomach, but it was dull, numbed. With a low snarl, she reached her good arm back and threw the bone as far as she could, listening to it bounce on the ground, the echo slowly fading.

She didn't belong in Alvadas anymore. She never did. She didn't belong anywhere; worthless. She was so worthless; she'd let herself get so scared. She'd killed a man, an innocent man, and she'd let Navi die, and now she was alone. Tears dripped steadily onto her hands, leaving tracks in the dried blood coating them.

She needed to move Navi. She refused to leave her there, in some alley that would disappear. She should move the man, too; but she was too tired, and shame filled her to the brim. She didn't want to look at him. She just wanted to forget.

Where could she take her? She wasn't in any sort of shape to carry Navi. Slowly pushing herself to her feet, Aster turned her back on the man, instead focusing her dull, golden eyes on Navi. Ahead of her, the mouth of the alley had opened up. A familiar gravel path stretched out before her.

A blessing from the city? Or perhaps an apology; Aster didn't know, and she didn't care. Turning back, she picked her dagger up, cutting the man's cloak free from beneath him, avoiding looking at him. Her emotions were a storm, in turmoil within her, yet somehow muted. Aster mostly just felt tired and numb.

Cradling her bad arm close to her, Aster lay the cloak on the ground. It took a lot of effort, pushing at Navi's body and tugging. The pain that exploded along her collarbone when Aster used both her arms was excruciating, and she almost whited-out; but she managed to get Navi's body onto the cloak.

Grabbing a fistful of the dark fabric with her good hand, Aster grunted as she began to pull, walking backward. At first, nothing happened; but as she dug her heels into the ground and pulled, gritting her teeth even as tears of pain dripped from her eyes, she managed to begin moving.

It was slow, painful progress. It was slightly easier to pull Navi over the gravel, but not much. It must have taken bells for Aster to reach the entrance to the Garden of No Return, the moon shining brightly above, bathing everything in silver. Aster paused, gasping for breath, gripping her injured shoulder tightly as pain made her vision swim and dance with spots of colour.

Inhaling deeply, Aster squared her shoulder, clenched her jaw, and pushed onward into the maze of shrubs. It didn't take long to find an appropriate spot; the path she walked down opened up into a large clearing, a rock fountain in the center and a wisteria tree flowering in the far corner. It took a moment for her to recognize it as the clearing she'd visited with Navi and Penny; it felt like that had been lifetimes ago.

With the last of her strength, Aster dragged Navi through the grass and over to the tree, dropping down beneath it. Exhaustion swept through her, bone-deep and weary. Aster sat curled up, her knees tucked into her chest, watching Navi, her bloodstained fur waving gently in the breeze. It was too calm, too serene, for what had just taken place. Aster felt like an outsider, like she didn't belong. Because she didn't.

Aster scrubbed a hand over her face, not even caring about the blood, dropping her hands down into her lap. Something in her pocket dug into her hip as she shifted, and she reached in to pull out the vertebrae she had earlier thrown down the alleyway. Aster stared in disbelief, and she could feel another crazed giggle coming on. Of course it wouldn't be so easy. Malediction, the word came to her mind. Shoving the bone back into her pocket, a thought crept into Aster's mind.

She shouldn't; the wrongness of it crawled down her spine, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. But she ignored it, grabbing her dagger and crouching down next to Navi's face, pushing her mouth open. "Sorry," She whispered, wincing as she dug the point of the dagger into Navi's gum, just above her bloodstained canine fang. With a bit of wriggling, the tooth popped free. Aster repeated the process with the other one, carefully tucking the teeth into her pocket before re-sheathing her dagger.

They would be a reminder of Navi, at the very least. Something to carry with her. Too tired to stand, Aster curled up beside Navi's cold body and closed her eyes, allowing sleep to take her into its dark embrace. She dreamed of nothing, too exhausted, but the blackness was more welcome than nightmares that would have relived the events of the day.

[Asterope]

Here are your bright, shiny grades...
Enjoy!

Asterope

Skills

☀Running +1
☀Observation +1
☀Intimidation +1
☀Weapon: Dagger +2
☀Unarmed Combat +1
☀Endurance +1

Lores

☀Maledicted bone: Found while gardening
☀Maledicted bone: Causes paranoia
☀Aster: Calmed and soothed by sunlight
☀Aster: Spiraling into paranoia and anxiety
☀Alvadas: Looping alleyways
☀Intimidation: Threatening with a dagger
☀Lore of a panic attack
☀Panic: Makes it impossible to focus, think, or act rationally
☀Unarmed Combat: Headbutting an opponent in the face
☀Lore of the feeling of stabbing someone
☀Aster: Supposed to be calm in emergencies
☀Medicine: Freeing an impaled weapon causes more bleeding
☀Lore of losing a beloved pet and companion
☀Lore of being responsible for a stranger's death
☀Aster: Questions her belonging in Alvadas
☀Aster: Left alone
☀Aster: Responsible for Navi's death
☀Maledicted bone: Returns when thrown away

Rewards & Penalties

☀Broken collarbone on left side (healed by now)
☀Shallow cut from dagger on right side (healed by now)
☀-1 Navi
☀+2 canine teeth from Navi

Comments

Reading this again made me sad.

Thank you for your patience! As always, please don't forget to delete or edit your grading request in the queue. Otherwise, if you have any questions or concerns about your grades, then just PM me and let me know!