[Shinyama Pavilion] Why is this so hard? [Solo]

[Elhaym]

3rd Day of Spring, 511 AV

Pain sat cross legged on the wooden floors of the training room, her body slumped forward. Before her sat a small leather bag, crumpled upon itself without the support of it's contents. Likely that it once contained a small amount of fine powder that was spread out before Pain, though tiny smudges marred it's spread out surface. Pain's arms were folded in front of her, but her left was obviously completely limp. She was alone, everyone having left the room as their time in training had ended. Yet Pain remained, alone and struggling.

She could not see her projected arm, but she could feel it and move it just as she could feel and move her real arm. It was still a mixed sensation to her; terror at the shear notion of what she was doing and the growing curiosity at how this art could ever be used as a weapon. Slowly, she hoisted her astral arm into the air, and uncurled her 'finger'. Her intention was to place the simple ghostly digit into the powder and draw a line, a task beyond simple for a human arm. Despite, she felt as though her arm shook uncontrollably, her control waning as the powder split and spread apart. Tiny plumes of dust rolled out of the path she created, a harsh zig-zag and a far cry from her intention. Pain's eyes fluttered, and she straightened her posture in a vain attempt to fight off her fatigue and the growing ache in her lower back.

The sound of someone clearing their throat jarred Pain from her stooper, her eyes snapping up. She must have been more tired than she thought, for her friend and roommate Rei stood over her with her hands delicately placed on her knees.

"Have you been here this long? You missed the meal." She said, but her eyes were focused on the jagged line in the powder Pain had created. Though she had impressed with her physical skill initially, many joked behind her back that she was inept when it came to the more subtle arts of the Shinya. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Pain replied quickly, not out of frustration but limited vocabulary in Lhavitian. She searched for words, but she was tired. Switching to Common sent a feeling of relief throughout her body. "I don't understand this, I accomplish so little but I feel like I've moved a mountain."

Rei settled down in front of her, crossing her legs in the same fashion as Pain. She was slight of build, with her cropped short and even as Pain's had once been long ago. Her eyes were large, but the orbs inside were so dark as to hide her pupils. She gave Pain a comforting look, and shifted to get comfortable.

"It feels like something else is bothering you, not just how hard it is. What is it, Elhaym?"

Pain met her eyes levelly, but she nodded as Rei spoke. Many things were different about Lhavit, and had accepted most of them. The swap of night and day had been difficult, and Pain found herself sleeping less than she would have in Syliras. Yet she had grown accustomed, as she had with the differences in culture and cuisine. One thing still had her on edge, something that she had no choice but to take part in every single day.

"Do you not ever question why we all must do this?" Pain spoke, but as she did she closed her eyes and straightened her posture that had once again gone slack. Slowly, she moved her projected arm back to it's flesh and blood vessel. It was an unnatural process for her, and she took her time. Slowly, her astral body settled, returning the feeling first to her elbow and fore and slowly down to her fingertips. Her hand writhed, fingers curling back and forth as Pain became reacquainted with her appendage.

Rei sat in thought, and Pain could surmise why. She must have known that whatever her answer, a floodgate of questions in terms of the use of magic in Lhavit would pour forth from Pain. She waited as Rei calculated her response.

[Elhaym]

"If you compare the Shinya to the Knights where you are from, the Knights would seem more deadly at first glance. They carry many weapons, and wear thick armor, right?" Rei said slowly, and Pain nodded to affirm her statement from personal experience. "The Shinya's strength comes from a different place, not just our weapons. We learn to harness our astral bodies, and we learn to clear our minds whenever we must. Our meditation studies are just as important as our studies in projection, you know. These things are what makes them so strong, and capable."

"I understand that, but don't you realize that it's dangerous? You can hurt yourself, but you can hurt others too. It's bad business to use magics of any sort in Syliras; the Knights won't have it. It's just not allowed, and for good reason!"

Pain's voice had risen as she spoke, and she thrusts her hands together. Her knuckles were white, gripping them so tightly.

"In Syliras, they say men who use magic are dangerous fools. How does Lhavit have so many who use magic within the city without trouble? It scares me, Rei. I had no choice, you know. They did this to me, and now I can always feel it there. Like a second skin. I know it's there. Sometimes it feels like an itch that needs to be scratched, as if it's calling for me to release it. I ignore it, but it's there. Is it like that with you?"

Rei seemed abashed at Pain's description of Syliran views on magic, but her face went back to an understanding and comforting look as Pain described her own struggle.

"It is why meditation is so important, Elhaym. You can control it, but if you are not careful it will control you. You have only just begun your training, and it's understandable that you find it difficult. I mean, Hashin and I have been practicing for years. You must know though, Projection isn't like a lot of the others. Have you heard of Reimancy? It is terribly powerful, a true sight to behold. It's power comes with a different price; a reimancer is always tempted to push their limits just a bit farther while intoxicated on the euphoria of their art. Projection is different in that sense... you become fatigued physically, usually far earlier than such symptoms can develop. When they do they are grave, but you need not worry. So long as you focus, and continue to practice, you will have nothing to fear."

Nothing to fear? Pain had everything to fear. The experience of her initiation into the art of projection had been traumatic enough. She had been unable to even admit she could attempt the magic for days afterwards, and when she had it had been with a paralyzed fear. Rei seemed to brush aside the fact that they were toying with unnatural things as if it were simply an accepted part of everyday life. All the Acolytes seemed to feel this way. Perhaps it was just the difference in their cultures, Pain having lived in Sylira for so long.

"I hear your words Rei, but it scares me. What if I make a mistake, and lose my arm? What then?" Pain said, withholding her desire to spat on the ground at the last bit. Her body was her temple. She was far more fit than the majority of Acolytes, and even many Shinya.

"Under the guidance of the Shinya, you will not. You must trust them Elhaym, and yourself."

As Rei spoke, the powder in front of Pain was slowly pushed with one stroke until it was flat once again. Rei had loosed her astral arm as Pain had sheathed hers. Despite their fatigue from class, she apparently intended some extracurricular study.

"Do not fear. Clear your mind, and try again. I am with you."

[Elhaym]

It hadn't taken Pain long to figure out that a simple gesture could help her mind along it's way. To double it's effect she would open one palm and press a fist into the other, pressing with both arms and creating an internal contest between her muscles. Kota had helped her along with her meditation, and noted that sometimes some physical duress or hardship actually increased her concentration. So it would be this day, when she began to funnel her fear and stray thoughts from her mind. Pressing hard, but taking care not to let her arms quiver. Seeking solitude, only finding solace when her mind was a void. It was never easy, but after a chime she slipped into a slower and more rhythmic breathing pattern.

"Slowly, as you did before. Release yourself."

Rei's voice was distant in Pain's mind, a tiny ripple amidst a sea of obsidian. The message however was heard, Pain's mind crafting a surreal image of what transpired before her closed eyelids. She pictured her arms, but instead of flesh and bone they were simple gray smudges. It was difficult, both because of her lack of skill and the weariness she felt the instant she tried, but slowly the gray smudges began to vibrate. A host of colors seemed to free themselves from the imagined gray appendages, forming the rough shape of another set of arms. The gray smudges remained, yet they seemed even more dull and bland.

Pain opened her eyes, having freed her astral body for likely the last time this day. She could feel her body trembling, but the surprise that she had managed to summon the strength once again surprised her. Slowly, she hovered her arms over the flat expanse of powder, but by feel instead of sight.

"Try one more time. I know you're tired, I am too. Just once more." Rei cooed, but the strain on her face was apparent as well. She had practiced just as hard as Pain had today, and constantly manipulating the outermost layer of their own soul for half a bell a day was typically enough cause for a long period of rest.

The powder puffed out into the air as a single digit from each ghostly arm impacted it's surface. Ever so slowly the dust parted in the form of two circles, shakily traced on the edges of the powder. Despite her earnest efforts, they looked more like jagged crystals when she was done. Her eyes were glossed over in her efforts, focusing solely on the powder and manipulating her projection. As she finished, Rei's invisible hand swept over the powder once more to flatten it's surface.

Pain didn't sigh, nor look up. She had said just one more try, but the challenge to go on hung in the air. She tried. Once more, her projected arms hung in mid air as if they had been far too long in the cold. With the familiar small plume of dust, she attempted to trace two lines starting on either side of the pile. Slowly, the lines zig zagged their way past each other until each ended where the other had began. Pain let out a sigh, and slowly moved each arm until it rested atop it's mortal shell.

"It's as if my bones were shattered, and I am using my arms for the first time in years." she muttered, slowly digging the appendage back into it's casing. It was an unnatural process, starting with her fingers and slowly sliding the projection back into her arm in the manner of a worm crawling along a branch. When the familiar tingle that accompanied the reuniting of flesh, bone, and soul was felt she let her head hang back.

"It doesn't matter how much I practice. I have been making childish lines for a month." Pain said, rolling forward to her knees and lazily sweeping the dust back into the bag with her hand. It was tedious gathering it all, but she was glad to be using her actual arms despite the heaviness in her body.

"Not everyone has a talent with this, Elhaym. Just as you are talented with your fists, many are talented at drawing out this power. You just have to work at it."

Pain staggered to her feet, clutching the bag of powder in her right hand. She'd never considered that she just wasn't gifted in that regard. In fact, the notion of someone being naturally good at magic seemed odd. How can someone be better than someone else at something no one should even use in the first place? But those thoughts had little purpose, because she had no choice. If she were to achieve her goals, then she would have to harness this power to a point. If only to prove her worth, she would continue her struggle.

"I don't give up so easy. Thanks, Rei." Pain said, stumbling as she walked. The sluggish feeling had spread throughout her entire body. Perhaps she wouldn't give up, but Pain knew one thing for certain. If she could manage this magic to the point where she was accepted as a Shinya, she had no intention of drawing it any further. Dedicated as she was to this notion, she knew that there was no going back. There would always be that itch, waiting to be scratched.

[Ophelia]

Elhaym: +3 Projection, +1 Meditation


Elhaym: Meditation's Importance (Magic), Not Naturally Gifted, Shinya's Perspective on Magic (vs SK)


Short but sweet thread. I like how you make Elhaym very realistic in her progression. I enjoy watching her humanity and reality get in the way of her skill - it's a very human response. PM me if needed.