Just Shoot Me (Ayren)

by **Vala** on June 1st, 2011, 2:23 am

88th of Spring, 511 AV

Long and slow, even and deep, Vala took several calming breaths. Her right foot was painfully propped up against her thigh. The strain in her leg muscles made it harder to focus but meditation was starting to get… dare she think it?... dull. She hoped the new poses would help her spice things up a little, and get her back into the swing of her hobby… especially since her journal had been confiscated. At first she had tried to get both feet up, only her bum and thighs to touch the ground. It only took her five chimes of frustrated struggling and painful muscle strain to realize that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. She had reluctantly settled for gradually accomplishing the stance, one step at a time.

Her hands lay open and relaxed, balanced on her knees. As she breathed her chest rose just a fraction, but most of the movement, the expansion of her lungs occurred deeper in her lungs, as she tried to utilize her diaphragm to its full potential. She had no idea what a diaphragm was; she thought she was using her stomach or something.

It had taken her nearly two seasons to really get the basic physical aspects of meditation down pat. And while they seemed almost remedial – slow breathing, keeping still, relaxing every muscle – it was a lot harder in practice not to freak out once limbs started to go numb. It took her twenty days to learn that stretching before sitting down prevented a lot of aches and pains later, when she stood up. Vala only wished that the effects of her daily meditation would actually have a more visible effect, like clearer skin or shinier hair; the peace of mind was nice and all, but its not like people would notice her hard work from that.

The past couple days had been very relaxed; her mind was still, the shadows of her past prowling only at the furthest edges of her sub consciousness. She could have survived with just two levels of mental barriers but she made three just in case. Each brick of each wall lovingly set to prevent any demons from torturing her just because she let her guard down. The mental Vala lay supine on the floor of her sanctuary. Though it was stone, she didn’t feel the same cold pain she felt in her physical body, as she did with her mental one. It was nice just staring up, straight into the white blankness of her mind. There were no clouds, it was her mind – that would be ridiculous. At the forefront of her mind there was blankness. When Vala went there voluntarily it was lit up, by an identifiable light source, brighter than the sun in the physical world. It was soft and gentle on the eyes. Sometimes when she was outside in the harsh sunlight, she would close her eyes just to feel the subtle warmth of her own mind’s brightness against the cheek of her mental avatar.

It had taken Vala twenty chimes to get into the deep level of peace she was in now. Less than when she first started, but still much longer than she would have liked. And now that she was in the best mindset she would be in for the rest of the day, Vala didn’t feel like leaving. The chimes she spent in the white expanse were not endless, but timeless. There was no pressure for her to leave, but most especially, there was no pressure to do. There was only… being

Then again, there was always the joy of building her mental fortress. That’s what brought her back. The chance to laugh triumphantly, hiding behind her crystal walls, as she mocked her personal demons, banished to the boundaries of her consciousness by the strength of her inner peace.

It crushed her every time she was so cruelly ripped away from the relative safety of her mind, to be once again thrown into the torture that was a mundane life. Like now. After a good solid half bell of paradise, something had to go rapping, not just knocking, but straight up banging on her door. The crystal stone walls shattered, raining jagged shards upon her mental body. Before she ‘died’, Vala ‘woke’ up with a painful gasp. Lurching up, right leg aching like crazy, Vala slammed her door room open. A young man: a chiet from the look of his trappings. He face held as much surprise as Vala’s held blinding anger. “What?” Vala asked, her voice a raspy growl. All vestiges of peace had drained from her, in a matter of seconds.

He floundered silently, finally managing to stutter out a pathetic excuse for an apology. “So-so-sorry! Wrong door…” Before Vala could berate him, he had sprinted off, lost to the winding warrens of the city.

Vala slammed the door behind him. Steam practically shot out of her ears. She moved with mechanical clarity. Her hand gripped the worn grip of her short bow even before she knew what was happening.

by **Vala** on June 17th, 2011, 1:32 am

The meditation made it worse. Much worse. The mild pressure building behind her eyes had built to such a point to wake her earlier than she liked, before sunrise early. She had hoped the meditation would help, and it did, it really did, but why did that moron have to come in and barge in like that? Honestly?

Now there was only one course of action, well only one legal one. There was too much pent up rage in Vala, the pounding in her head only getting wors every chime. If she didn’t release it soon, it was going to consume her. She needed something physical, something tangible: an outlet. Wrestling or any other activity that required physical contact was out of the question; her fragile frame was in no way capable of handling anything like that. There was one thing though, the one activity she could always rely on: archery. Arrow by arrow she relieved the pain.

Running in the warrens weren’t prohibited, but there wasn’t really much of a need to. Most major city locations were pretty well connected and it required no more than a bell to get from one end of the city to the other. As one not particularly fit Vala rarely ever considered speeding up her already natural hurried pace, but every inch of her burned with erratic shocks of energy – screaming for release. Her room door was barely out of sight before her steps took on a forceful lightness.

With her short bow clutched tight in her right hand, quiver strapped over left shoulder, and hair tied up into two high ponytails, Vala had prepared herself for a run without even knowing it. She was still pretty new to the whole running business so her form, in short, was atrocious. It was all made even harder with her weapons throwing her off balance at every step.

Vala ran on the balls of her feet, as a sprinter would, but lacking all the proper muscles one needed to sprint. It didn’t take her long to get winded. She breathed through her mouth, in and out. It was like all her practice meditating had been forgotten. In her inexperience she believed that the sure and steady breaths through the nose wouldn’t give her as much ‘air’ as gulping it through her mouth would. And she was right, it didn’t, but it was far less efficient oxygen wise – not that there was anyone to give her such important tips.

Her lungs were burning like hell fire long before her leg muscles began to spasm. And spasm and cramp they did. Vala was gasping like a fish out of water before she was even half way to the range. She didn’t stop though. She had too much, energy, anger, angst, just bouncing around inside, demanding more action. Each heavy step was a lance of pain threatening to rip her legs off. Each breath was glass shards ripping her from the inside out. And still she ran. She had stopped running on her toes now, those muscles spent; now she was running on her heels, flatfooted: probably ruining her knees in the process. In the thrall of pain, her strides had shortened, becoming more inefficient. She was basically dragging herself along from sheer will power.

Taking the ‘first’ time runner by surprise, a dam broke, releasing a torrent of cool relief to tide the fiery pain that consumed her body. She was finally experiencing a runner’s high. Never had she reached this point before. It had taken the blinding rage to finally get the guts to push through the pain and just run. The pain was worth it. For once in the longest time, the pain was finally paying off.

She tried to slow down, tried to control her pace, she really did but it was so hard with her body moving with near hysterical momentum. The closer and closer she got to the Plucked Arrow the more and more people she was forced to dodge down the warrens. For the most part the yasi making their way to their morning archery class avoided the crazed, red faced, banshee of a lady running down the hall. They had seen Vala often enough, practicing in the little free time she had, and they knew from experience she could be a cranky witch if she wanted to be… one that could bring an unsuspecting victim to tears, with what only could have been described as a black magic tongue.

No one offered to help her when she collapsed into a shivering heap as soon as she passed the range’s archway. She lurched over to an empty chair at the repair station. Only one barely competent bower/ Fletcher sat organizing his tools to her right. It was still quite early. The boy ignored Vala as she panted, desperately trying to regain her composure before too many saw her in her state.

Vala’s legs felt like jelly. And she could only wish her lungs were just as numb, but her luck was cruel enough to let her feel every burning ache from her throat to her diaphragm. She raised a leaden arm to wipe away the sweat that ran in violent rivulets down her flushed brow. Though she hurt, she felt good, better than she had in days. The stress of the morning had been drained away, by each step she had taken. Vala had no idea running could be so wonderful. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to practice Archery anymore, or even had the energy to stand.

She was slouched so far back into the high backed chair, Vala’s bum was in danger of sliding right onto the hard floor. Too tired to move her head, she moved her eyes to the closest thing that could keep her entertained. The sweat running into her eyes were really making it hard to see long distances, and she really didn’t have energy built up just yet to be wasting it on wiping her brow every chime, so looking at the not so distant yasi archers practice was out of the question. So Vala rolled her baby blues right over to the Bower/ Fletcher to her right. She tried to focus shrinking, still clear, point of vision she had left on his lithe hands. She had yet to meet the boy, but she already liked him; his deft touch reminded her so much of herself. She continued to stare in fascination as he lined up each individual tool, just like as she did with her quills and inks. But instead of black blotchy ink stains marking his fingers, he had several bandages around several pads and a few joints. It was obvious his job came with its share of dangers. She continued to stare; him none the wiser. She began to zone out as her pulse began to settle.

OOC :

by **Ayren** on June 20th, 2011, 4:55 pm

Ayren dismissed his class, smiling as the Yasi filed out of the classroom. Moving to sit in one of the chair at the front of the room Ayren debated what to do with his free time. He had a few bells during which he had nothing to do, and he wondered what he wanted to be doing during that time. He briefly toyed with finding a friend and bugging them, but threw that out. Even if he could find one of his friends, at this time of day they would most likely be busy. Ayren's eyes roamed the room and he thought about what he could be doing, and his eyes lighted on his things in the corner.

He had brought in his bow to show the class, to hopefully get them interested enough in the conversation that they might learn. Sadly, it hadn't worked, but Ayren thought he still should be acknowledged for trying. As he looked at it, Ayren thought that maybe it would be a good time to get some practice. He picked up his pack and slung it over his shoulder. Then grabbing his bow, he headed out of the classroom. He headed down on of the corridors, on route to his favorite archery range the Plucked Arrow. It catered to the Yasi more than adults, but Ayren liked it anyway. It was always lively, and there was never any shortage of people there. Also, Ayren knew it. He had taught there a few times, and knew a lot of the people who were commonly on duty.

As he walked into the range, he looked around at the crowd of people there. Walking past the crowd, Ayren smiled and returned the greeting of one of the teachers on duty there. While Ayren had brought his bow to class, he hadn't brought arrows, thinking it might not be wise to take pointy objects within throwing distance of a rowdy Yasi classroom. So, upon entering Ayren headed in the direction of the Bower/Fletcher's station to check out a quiver of arrows he could use. There was a boy on duty, and he handled the weapons with care as he arranged them on the shelves. When Ayren asked came up and asked him for the arrows, he quickly found exactly what Ayren was looking for. The boy clearly knew his work well.

Smiling at the boy's dedication, Ayren finished checking out the arrows and walked over to one side of the room to inspect the arrows he had been given. Leaning against one wall, he drew out one of the arrows and weighted it in his hand. It was slightly heavier than his own arrows, and he would have to remember to compensate when firing. Just then, a girl came bounding into the range at top speed. She practically collapsed in a heap at the door, and he was surprised that she managed to actually get over to one of the chairs next to the Bower/Fletcher's station. He wondered why she would be in such a rush to get here. Was she late for a class? But Ayren knew that there wouldn't be a class going on right now, just lessons. Maybe she had a lesson? Still, even if she had a lesson, she wouldn't be much good at it in her current state. The girl was having serious issues getting her breath back.

After a moment or two, Ayren realized that he was staring at her, and that he was being quite rude about it, even if he didn't think she had noticed. She was much to wiped out. She hadn't moved from the chair in the corner, and it had been a few chimes since she had ran in. He hoped that she was okay. Maybe there was something wrong. He studied her more closely and saw that she was still quite red in the face, though her breathing had calmed a little. Walking over to her, Ayren asked, "Excuse me, are you alright?"

by **Vala** on June 20th, 2011, 6:13 pm

Hazy blue met clear gray, as Vala looked up to inspect whoever was gutsy enough to talk to her. First she judged his facial structure: she found it appealing. It was healthy and strong. She sensed the aura of a hunter about him (not that he was in an archery range was a dead give away). Still panting, Vala forced herself to take deeper breaths, sitting up straighter until all of her back was framed by the chair.

She had seen something moving around the table, but she hadn’t bothered to focus on who or what it was. Now that he was right in front of her, a worried look upon his face, she couldn’t help but smile. It was real, not one of her fake charming ones. And though it was genuine, it was by no means pleasant. Cheeks flushed a bright rosy red, and brow drenched with sweat, Vala looked absolutely disheveled. The mischievous turn that graced her lips only made her look all the more devious. But that of course would only be noticeable to an expert observer. Vala’s countenance, no matter how wild, could never truly express the wickedness within. To most she still would have looked like a child who had puttered herself out from far too much fun.

It took Vala a few moments to get her scattered thoughts in order. The first thing she did once her mind was once again sharp with clarity, she curbed her frank grin with a proper angelic beam, pearly white teeth all in a perfect row. She realized that she must have looked absolutely ridiculous running in the way she did; there was no option but to play the childish card now that she had already set it up. If anything, it looked like the man before her was gracious enough to encourage such personalities.

She recognized him. It was hard not to in a city so small and cramped. She had seen him in the yasiry on occasion. He dressed like a chiet – like her. Vala had no use for him. Except… maybe. Yes. He looked like fun.

The run had been thrilling, tiring yes, but still her heart raced. Her body sagged, willing her to rest while her mind demanded more pleasure. Damsel in distress it was.

“I-I-I’m fine.” Vala was honestly out of breath but she milked it out for all it was worth. “I-i-i-I think I’ll be o-o-okay.” Vala smiled weakly, dropping her gaze demurely, as if she was too weak to even look up anymore. She had no idea what she was doing. She was probably still dopey from the endorphins, but hey – she was feeling a little spontaneous today. “T-th-thank you f-for asking sir.” Vala looked back up then, batting her eyelashes childishly, her brows furrowed in depreciating gratitude.

by **Ayren** on June 22nd, 2011, 3:12 pm

The girl looked up at him when she noticed he was there. As their eyes met, she sat up straighter in the chair, and tried to slow her breathing to a more natural level, although it didn't work very well. She still looked quite out of breath, although her color was returning more to normal instead of a bright red. Ayren took a moment to study her, as she turned to smiled up at him. At the moment, she definitely didn't look her best, not that Ayren was surprised. She was covered in sweat, still slightly red, and she was clearly wiped out. Yet, her eyes shown bright, leaving Ayren with the impression she was excited.

While he was studying her, she had also been studying him, or so it seemed. after each had finished their own personal inspection, the girl smiled wider at him. Something in her smile changed, although Ayren didn't know her well enough to know what it was. He put it off to a change in light, and just noted that she had a beautiful smile. She had a sweet demeanor that made Ayren smile in return.

The girl sagged in her chair again, and when she spoke her voice was breathy. She said she was fine, although she didn't look okay at the moment. Still, Ayren knew that after running that hard, you were bound to get wiped out. She dropped her gaze tiredly, and he knew that she was going to be sore later on. He hoped that it wasn't too bad, because she seemed to be such a nice girl. She even thanked him for his concern. He wished some of his students had that many manners.

Moving to take a seat next to her, Ayren responded with, "Oh it's no problem." Then he paused for a moment before continuing with, "May I ask why you were in such a hurry? Are you late for a lesson?"

by **Vala** on June 22nd, 2011, 5:37 pm

The gears began to whir, buzzing away, plotting. “I don’t really know why I was running like a banshee.” Vala answered honestly, even chuckling depreciatingly. “I guess I just really, really missed practicing archery… it’s been so long since I’ve had some free time.” Vala bit her lip, not wondering what she would do next - she already had several options plotted even before she spoke – but which would be most… entertaining.

The charm was slathered on thick when Vala began to chat with Ayren as if he was an old friend. With her wide adoring eyes and easy nature it was hard not to get sucked into the act. It came naturally to the sociopath, with her fleeting nature, molding easily to whoever was in her spotlight.

Her piercing eyes, while currently shielded by a practiced dreamy haze, tried to locate any tid bits she could use against him. He was tanner than most of Inartans, with their milky pale skin. He probably spent much of his time in the sparse wilderness outside the gates. Then there were the calluses on his fingers. The physical cues of a hunter, yet he still lacked some sort of defining quality. Vala tried to feel it out. It took her more active concentration than what she was use to, but she finally got it – the edge of a killer. That was probably why he was still a chiet - unable to fight to his full potential.

Or was she wrong? Or was he just as good as hiding the demon within? Though he had no such intentions, Ayren was starting to garner more and more of Vala’s conniving curiosity. She wanted to unravel him, learn everything about him. What made him tick?

If he hadn’t been interested in her, he wouldn’t have come to her in the first place. Vala already knew half the battle was done, but she wasn’t going to take any chances. Each emphasis placed on every word, the tone, the modulation, all of her speech patterns were calculated for maximum efficiency. Vala was still playing the eager child act – especially since it had been working well so far. “I haven’t had a lesson in some time…” Vala looked down again, chewing gently on her bottom lip – making herself look naively guilty. Then as if some amazing idea just ‘popped into her head’, Vala gasped in a great puff of air. She released it with an excited mewl. “I know! Why don’t you teach me, sir? I’m sure you’re amazing!” Vala blushed ‘sheepishly’. “That is if you have the time, sir. I wouldn’t want to be a bother…” Vala trailed off as if it had been a misguided idea and she should never have brought it up in the first place.