[Kamalia's Scrapbook] The Seer's Lily

[Kamalia Timandre]

. . "Open your eyes. Look up to the skies, and see." Age: 22 Sex: Female Status: It's complicated! Nationality: Filipino Class: Geek Evolves from: Weird Kid Evolves into: Strange Hag Location: Philippines Likes: Cooking, fashion, fantasy, roleplaying games, tabletop RPGs, creative writing, ball-jointed dolls, different cuisines, the konti, Mura, magic, reimancy, quests, piano music, witty conversations, Gromhir Dislikes: Elitists, egotists, extremists

[Siiri]

First!

Where's the evolution part?

[Kamalia Timandre]

Thanks for reminding me, Siiri!

There is no intelligent life down here. Beam me up, Scottie!

[Siiri]

YAY! XD

[Kamalia Timandre]

Since it's Valentine's Day, I found this song for Gromhir and Kamalia.

[Malia]

Very beautiful and informative! Especially the headline included in the pic. I luv it.

It's nice that you put Mura and the Konti in your 'likes' list too.

[Sorian]

HAHAHAHA. I LOL'd at Miriam. XD

If you're a strange hag, does that make me a weird kind of primordial blob?

[Alistair deGrey]

Kamalia!
1) Pretty awesome picture
2) What level do you evolve at?
3) Where did you upload that music to?

Oh, and here is a turtle

[Kamalia Timandre]

There are times when I think too much, and I just want to lie down and sleep, yet when I try to, I get buffeted by a storm of questions and strange emotions and then I get restless. I've had a talk with a friend and it bothers me quite a bit. He told me that I play Kammy convincingly, which was quite a bit of a relief to me honestly. Kammy turned out to be very typical before she got exiled from the Konti Isle. There was even a time I lost her voice after I disappeared for a while because of the Typhoon Ketsana. Kamalia and Gromhir's story only truly began after leaving Mura, to set sail for Syliras. He told me that at least parts of my writing seemed autobiographical. Many of the people I know dislike this idea- and I myself am in favor of IC/OOC separations. Even though Kammy and I share some aspects of our personality, background and experiences, she is different from me. But as I continue writing about Kamalia, I have slowly formed a profound connection and a relationship with her. I can feel her emotions when I stream them--the feeling of loss, homesickness and at times, loneliness. No, it does not exactly affect me in real life. Sometimes, I am scared it might. So this is what he said: I think the most powerful writers/RPers are those who put something of themselves into their characters. Don't get me wrong, I'm entirely in favor of strong IC/OOC separation and all that good stuff. But at the same time, the people who are the best RPers do have an existential connection with their characters above and beyond something that is on paper. And, quite frankly, I doubt I could ever convincingly have a fictional romance with someone I couldn't be attracted to -at some level- OOCly, specifically for the reason I just said. There has to be some kind of player-character connection above your typical gamer whatever whatever. So, having said that, I look at Kammy. Kammy feels powerful emotions which she alternately sees as both an asset and, sometimes, something frightening and terrible. She is assertive and seems to see self-control as the highest form of control that there is. However successful or not she might be at that at any given time. She's very honest with herself about who she is, even if that strikes her as unpleasant." "But that doesn't mean those emotions shouldn't be there. So, let's take a totally hypothetical situation. Kammy and SUPERSEKRIT GUY fall madly in love. (see how I did that?) I think it's completely appropriate to "feel" that relationship in terms of what the characters experience and feel genuine hurt if something were to go wrong. However, that doesn't mean I should hop a plane to the Philippines with a bundle of flowers. I think, to most people, IC/OOC separation means you can't have a strong personal connection to your character. To me, I don't think that's accurate. I think having a strong IC/OOC separation means you have a strong sense of -perspective- about your connection. In other words, that connection doesn't bleed over into your attitudes and actions in real life where it doesn't belong. Because you can keep those emotions in their proper arena of expression. At that point, I've lost my perspective on on the IC/OOC separation. Our OOC romance would be a completely separate thing. ^^ Nor would I stop talking to you if Kammy ran off with someone else. Once again, I've lost perspective. But is it wrong to be hurt if that happens? I think it would be wrong not to. I think the problems most people run into, and I speak from experience, is when they feel that connection and allow it to actually bleed over into how they act OOCly, especially regarding the other players OOCly. But I don't think the solution is to try to make yourself connect less. I think the solution is just to keep a solid grounding in what's real and what's fictional. I mean, when you read a book or watch a movie, do you not get emotionally attached to what's going on? Is that bad IC/OOC separation? Of course not. It's just that, when you leave the movie theater, you know those emotions properly belong in the context of the story you experienced." I just thought I had to save this somewhere since I liked it, and it's refreshing. I'd love to know people's opinions.

[Gossamer]

. A Rambling Response! I see your issue here Kamalia, and I do think its a very valid one to consider. We do put a lot of ourselves in our characters. We roleplay about things that challenge us and sometimes go to extremes in doing so. With our pcs we are freer to do things we might not be able to in real life, so that makes roleplay doubly challenging and exciting in terms of fantasy verses reality. My favorite PC routinely likes to growl and pur and has no qualms about eating human flesh. That doesn't mean Jen growls and purs in real life or practices cannibalism. Trust me. None of those three things have ever happened. Now, thats not to say in college I've never overindulged in a bit of the drink and howled at the moon, but I think that is fairly common worldwide. Still, its wholly unrelated. But in terms of in-game relationships, that is a tricky one. When I started playing Nya, I knew what I wanted from someone as a bondmate. I wanted a really good writer who would post as much as me and be strong in their convictions about their PC. Meaning, I wanted someone who knew who their pc was - but I also hoped for someone who would develop their pc to the point where their pc would start surprising them in the way that they can't just be thrown a scenario ooc and have an answer for how their PC would react because truthfully they don't know until they sit down and as you so aptly put it Samantha 'start channeling' them. So, basically I wanted someone that wasn't a carbon copy of their true selves, but had a lot of the same values. I didn't mind if they were male or female, but truthfully opposite sexes are really fun with to play bondmate wise. There's always some sort of tension there, which can be interesting. I have a wonderful marriage in real life. I love my husband to death and he loves me and although things aren't always perfect (who has a perfect life?), the relationship is really filled with openness and honesty. There's a confidence there that allows me to be freer than some wives would be in my writing on here. Honestly, I sometimes get a bit uncomfortable rping romance (though I like it!) because if its a younger person who's single and still looking, I don't want them to channel their idea of 'the one' on me because of something my pc might do in what I write. Back when I was in college and doing a lot of mudding, I met a ton of people and acquired a few stalkers that were best left unacquired - namely because I was 17 and stupid - and attention is flattering at that age. Now though, if given a choice, I would walk a solitary pathway with a pc. I honestly thought Abashai's player was the perfect guy because he was firm in his belief about not rping certain things and I was more than cool with that because he had the qualities i wanted in a writing partner - plus he too was in a marriage where it was clear he was absolutely crazy about his wife and kids. Now, that being said, I think our PCs had other ideas - totally unplanned by us players. It just happens like that sometimes. And I am not sorry because if my PC has gotten to the point where shes more controlling the story than I am, well that makes me super happy. Because whallah! She has a voice and is in some ways real to me in all the ways a character should be real to readers and believable when they are reading them. Abashai is also very real to me... but I do not equate him to his player Mike at all - though he has a lot of Mikes values. Abashai is a zealot in so many ways I'm not even sure Mike realizes. To have run off and tattood his faith across his face is zealotness. To have self-exiled himself from his family and his people is excessive. When that PC decides something, its written in stone thereafter. I see it in his writing daily, and I have a feeling Mike isn't so much like that in real life. Now, all that being said, do I have an emotional attachment to both these characters? Absolutely. I'm like that obsessive fan - the one that has the coffee mug with their pictures on it on her desk. Okay, so probably not 'drive to Forks, Wa' type obsessive, but still pretty fascinated by whats going to happen next to those two. I think its very natural to get attached. You have an investment in your pc. So, to make a long story short... I think its perfectly fine to put something of yourself in your PC but no I do not think Kamalia is a reflection of you. I see her as absolutely separate. I think anyone that has spent any time with you knows this too. .