Gabrielle's Scrapbook

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on December 3rd, 2011, 9:21 am

Of Strange Dreams

Decided to take a nap this afternoon, and found myself in angst-filled dream. Usually I forget my dreams, so I'm typing this down as soon as I can. It's foggy, but I remember that my best friend was still around, and I kept saying to myself 'Isn't she gone? Is she the real thing?', but she left anyway and I kept nagging people to go after her or else she wouldn't come back again, but nobody would listen to me. Funny thing was, I wouldn't go after her myself. I ended up breaking down and people were telling me, 'She wasn't the real thing, what are you crying about?'

...Okaaaay! Strange!

I find it really odd that I dream about her after all these years. I remember the night before she died, I dreamed of this blind girl telling me that "It would be okay", that I would "move on". See, my best friend was also blind with old age, and this girl in my dreams had the same eyes she had.

And yes, my best friend was my dog.

I loved her too much, I grew up with her, and I don't care what people say, she's been the greatest loss in my life so far.

On a more shallow note (but one I find funny), I had a dream that my boyfriend called me to tell me he was going to be late, but I could hear another girl's voice in the background. He told me his "friend" suddenly came over to his house but he couldn't just leave her there, which was why he was going to be late. That's when I woke up to reality because he was calling me, and I when I answered it, I guess the dream's essence sort of stayed because I was acting really bitchy towards him. HAHA. I kept trying to remind myself, HEY, THAT WAS A DREAM.

by **Ronan** on December 3rd, 2011, 11:25 am

Having owned dogs all my life, I know the pain from a dog dying can be just as hard as a human - that's hard for people without pets to understand. They do become great friends, I know that

Perhaps that dream was sort of telling you that you can move on...? Since you didn't follow.

Anyway, thanks for sharing!

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on December 4th, 2011, 5:54 am

Meh, I've moved on ages ago, I think there's just something about me and strong random feelings invading my dreams! I'm happy someone understands me though.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on December 6th, 2011, 3:12 pm

...Awfully Hungry.

Gosh, being jobless and living alone can really take a toll. I'm still studying so I'm given enough money for just rent, but these past two months of being deprived of a job is sooo difficult! I would give anything for this:

(Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not starving... I've got lots of canned goods and noodles lying around, but it get so tiring to the point that I'd rather not eat).

On the bright side, maybe I'll finally drop back to a hundred and my old clothes will fit me again (new clothes are also expensive!). I should REALLY diet.

.......Or not.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on December 7th, 2011, 9:01 am

That awkward moment when looking for the right model for an avatar takes up the most time when creating a new character...

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on December 14th, 2011, 1:12 pm

So, it's finally Christmas break. I'm taking it seriously and trying my best to keep away from all kinds of work, heehee. I'm sure my thesis mates and org mates and everyone else will soon come hunting for me, but for now, lemme relax.

...Or. Yeah. There's honestly nothing to do. My life aka my external hard drive is with my boyfriend, who is swamped with work and can't hand it to me. The net in the house is too slow for any torrents to download properly.

So I just baked some cupcakes. Wheee. I didn't know we didn't have enough sugar, which is why the frosting wouldn't harden. Oh well! I baked like, four batches, I think. Wheee. I think boredom leads to evil things.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on February 20th, 2012, 6:31 am

My (part time) job is sometimes demeaning, and sometimes it just makes me feel downright good about myself. I know that most of your find call center agents a nuisance (believe me, I would to), and I really understand why a lot of people are irate when I call their homes. But... gosh, some people think they're so clever, spouting out cuss words and trying to make fun of me, when, believe me, it just makes them sound like thirteen year old brats. When someone yells at me for disturbing their dinner, okay, I get that. But when some random girl spends a whole minute (damn, we aren't allowed to hang up first) trying to make fun of me and trying to sound clever... well that's another thing. To that girl: you didn't sound clever. You sounded reaaally stupid. Next time let mommy answer the phone, it might actually be something important, and you might just end up disgracing yourself and your family.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on March 21st, 2012, 7:06 pm

Insomnia strikes again.

Leave me alone, damn it.

And, yeah... dog, I love you, but you have to stop snoring. It just reminds me that I'm currently not snoring as well.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on March 23rd, 2012, 4:44 am

Frustrated ranting that you are all welcome to ignore!

My dad called me just to give me some "constructive criticism", then he proceeds to tell me off about I have to be more assertive and confident and more of a people person. He is annoyed by the fact that I dislike going out and exchanging how-are-yous with his friends/clients/whatever. Don't get me wrong... when I don't act like some social butterfly, it's not that I CAN'T, it's more of that I don't WANT to.

But I make an effort, okay? It's not too hard. But, seriously... LIKE I CARE who that stranger is. Of course, I understand social norms and I don't like coming off as a jerk, so I DO make an effort, maybe just not 100% of the time. It's just that like for everything else, their expectations are way too high. Talking to people drains me (people I have nothing in common with, anyway), please don't keep forcing me to go with you to talk to strangers. But get this -- look the word 'introvert' up. It's not a disease.

by **Gabrielle Seawind** on March 25th, 2012, 5:03 pm

Girly girl?

I'm not a girly girl. I hate dresses, high heels, make-up, etc. One of the few things I do like though is nail polish. Silly thing is, I don't like it for the reason of making my nails pretty... but because of the fact that it's just so damn fun to paint my nails. Fun as in it's challenging trying to paint such a small space, and then there's designing it, writing my name in thin lines, making gradients... yeah, that kind of stuff.

Right now though my room smells like fumes. I swear if you lit a match, my bed would catch on fire.

Also, I don't have nail polish remover, and my siblings refuse to let me paint their nails. Lo and behold... I see my dog, sleeping and dead to the world. Now he has silver nails. He is now fabulous.

Then I saw this picture that I took months ago --

Sometimes I'm just amazed at how he puts up with me.