Day 3 of Spring, 510 AV
Restlessness was deep in her bones.
A new feeling, this, hadn't surfaced for two seasons, not since... not since she left. Had traveled the long lengths of the Northern Reaches, circled through them, numb and uncaring. Dragged pelts to The Spires and Karjin to sell, then began the long trek north towards Novallas. And all that time, so many miles covered in the worst, coldest weather in the world, she'd felt nothing.
The first crack of ice in the trees above brought her head up sharply, golden eyes narrowing as she sniffed at the wind. Something warm and wet on it. Spring.
She felt the first stirrings within her, and was so surprised that she froze in her tracks, fur spiking along her spine. She made no sound as she stalked through the forests, her gear left buried underneath the snow while she hunted. Snow hares this time, perfect white little creatures, and better skinned by her since she could snap their necks and leave the pelt undamaged by arrow or spear. Now, though, as another crack of ice heralded the coming of spring, a soft whine escaped her throat.
What is this? she wondered, shaking herself a little as she continued slithering through the underbrush of the forest. Silver fur disturbed not a single snowflake as she wound closer to her prey, the rabbit now alerted by her earlier whine. But she was patient, could wait until her prey finally settled and lowered its head to dig for the fresh green shoots that were pushing up through to snow. Counted her heartbeats, and then sprang.
Two leaps, and then the warm feel of wriggling flesh between her teeth. A sharp shake of her head ended the rabbit's screams, and then silence descended throughout the forest as the other animals hid themselves lest they suffer the same fate.
It took less than a bell to return to her camp, and she shifted back to her human form and quickly donned her woolen dress and cloak for warmth, shoving already-pink feet into her boots. "What is this?" she hissed, angry with herself now as the restlessness grew. She drew a sharp little knife from her pack and began skinning the rabbit, impatience making her movements fumbling. "Shit!" she growled, the word echoing through the forest as her temper cost her the perfection needed to sell the skin for top dollar. Now it would only be worth half as much, marred as it was, and she threw the pelt down with a snarl.
Something was different. Something that came with the warm scent of spring, and she paced in a circle around the camp as she tried to figure out what it was. Had to figure it out, because she needed this money to survive. "What's wrong with me?" she whispered, something sad and confused in her voice.
She finally forced herself to sit and finish scraping the hide, then laid it down in the snow to stiffen. The rest of the rabbit was quickly disemboweled and spitted, and she started a fire to sear it. Simple camp routines, things she'd done for months now, but it felt strange and unwieldy.
It was only when she was tearing chunks of meat from the bone, wiping juices from her chin with the back of one hand, that it finally occurred to her - and the realization was so startling that she actually dropped the half-gnawed bone on the ground.
She was lonely. She was fucking lonely.
The enormity of it shocked her, and the carefully wrought walls that she'd built in the numbing snows of the wilderness came crashing down. Her face crumpled, and it took her a moment to realize she was weeping, didn't understand it until she raised a hand to her cheek and drew it back to stare at the wetness on her fingers. A harsh sound surprised her, and then another, and she finally identified it as racking sobs.
She fell to the ground, warm tears melting the snow against her cheeks.
Several bells later found her trudging through the knee-deep snow, her cloak pulled tight around her and a brace of skins tied to her pack. South, then, and east. Civilization, but not home, never home. She would rejoin the world and see what it had to offer.
