Oluse still fought to catch his breath. The sudden trauma of the episode had come without any warning, and it embarrassed him. Zygaud's words were kind, and well received. His hug, however, put Oluse on edge. Oluse didn't want to be touched, he wanted to go back to how he felt minutes before. He wanted to feel at peace, and alone in his own body. He wanted to feel in control.
"I'm sorry." He uttered to his giant ape-like friend. "I'm not sure what happened." He did, of course. He knew exactly what happened. What he couldn't grasp was why it happened. "Does that always happen when one meditates?" He gave Zygaud a concerned expression, hinting that he may not be prepared to undergo serious meditative training if that had been normal.
He carefully put some distance between the ape and himself, his psyche still throbbing from it's internal struggle. His expression was hurt, but reserved. His body language had shut down, shoulders tense and arms tight to his sides. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin, as if he had reached a hand out to himself, and somehow something within him had slapped it away. To this thought he shook his head hard slightly, like a tick. He was thinking ridiculous thoughts. He was himself, and nobody else. Whatever had happened, he couldn't blame himself. No, whatever it was had to be like Zygaud said, something dark, something he could flush out and destroy.
"Zygaud how can I stop that from happening?" He looked up at his friend with determination in his eyes, and muscles that had shifted from tense to resolute. He wasn't going to let his past get in the way of his acquisition of new knowledge, no matter what. His goal was to mature past his mistakes, and learn to live free of them, not trapped in their shadow.