Where There's a Will...(Solo)

[I'sona]

55th of Summer, 512AV “What you fight for?” “To protect.” ”You not protect if you hurting.” “Someone will always get hurt if you do nothing.” I’sona didn’t understand. Everyone she asked said the same thing, they all wanted to fight, but for what? If you hurt the other person, even if they wanted to hurt her…it wasn’t…wasn’t okay. Even the thought of hurting someone intentionally made her feel as if she had eaten meat. It wasn't pleasant, it settled heavy in her stomach and in her mind but mostly in her heart. Her eyes squeezed shut, the answers to her question dancing behind her eyes. Taunting her. Mocking her. Scaring her. "Would you die for your enemy?" No doubt Caiyha and Laviku had fought before, fought for their children and beliefs. Fought as all creatures do but that thought did not make her feel better. It didn't tell her if she would die. Did she want to die? No. Not anymore than she wanted to hurt the other person. Round and round her mind went. The questions and answers got her nowhere, her thoughts brought her to the same confusion. Thankfully the crash of the sea beating against the sand pulled her from her whirlwind thoughts. Even the Lavikus' sea fought, fought the winds and all who sought to tame it. Once more she felt the weight in her hands, tugging at her arm uncomfortably. Her 'decorative' weapon as some had pointed out, glass was hardly sturdy but it was her weapon. And why did she have it? For what purpose had she gotten it? She didn't know. Couldn't remember or didn't want to. Lifting it to the light I'sona was struck by how harmless it looked, by how pretty the light was and the rainbow it showed her. She let her tried arm fall. Watching the way it cut through even the air. Could she cut through a person? Her heart stuttered and her palms grew sweaty even with the heat bearing down on her. But she didn't need to think about that. The rules of this place were simpler, she had to know how. But using it would be her choice. Her choice. Would she let someone die because of her choice?

[I'sona]

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Thoughts like those were difficult, she didn’t understand them, didn’t understand why someone always had to attack the other. Little fish got eaten by the bigger fish because it was hungry not because it wished to cause real harm, malevolent harm. Where the Akalak big fish then? Was she? Even in her mind the stench of death seemed to follow the questions like a shadow but her mind kept coming back. When I’sona swung the Khopesh up this time it was not as lazy, not as forgetful, it was with conviction. As if swing her arm down through the air would somehow slice through her thoughts. There was no harm in that. Right? Things would be easier if this city was full of people that wanted to run away. Running wasn’t bad. Rather than continue her train of thought she found that pretending to slice through her thoughts helped and did it again. Arching the weapon skywards and into a downwards slice, then slowly rotated it and swished the glass back up. It looked a lot like she was waving a stick around wildly. No real sense just slashing for the sake of slicing up words and thoughts she couldn’t see. In a sudden fit of something she couldn’t describe I’sona spun herself, the glass weapon weighing heavily on her arms and released it. If she had no weapon there was no reason to fight. It didn’t shattered as she had expected, only landed a few feet away, the water trying futilely to drag it beneath the waves. She could do that too. Run away into the waves, leave the people here. People died, she wasn’t that foolish to think that no one else fought even her people had at one time. So people would always die but she didn’t want to watch, didn’t want to be a cause but it was probably too late to back out now. “I don’t know.” With conviction she had always denied fighting, even in dire moments but this was different. To know she could help and choose not to gnawed at her already high pile of guilt. With a heavy sigh I’sona dragged her feet through the sand and picked up the wet weapon. Her fingers unable to pick up the slippery weapon correctly or maybe she just didn’t want to.

[I'sona]

Stalling for time and laying where the water could wash over her, I’sona waited for her weapon to dry knowing perfectly well it had probably done so at least a bell ago. She had felt the temperature in the water drop along with the sun. A cool breeze sliding over her skin and sending her mild shivers. She mused that everything had to do something, had a purpose and her purpose was not to fight. Maybe she could learn healing…it would be more helpful than fighting but was not fighting the same as killing? And would not helping the ‘enemy’ be the same as slicing through them? This was why she didn’t like fighting. Too many thoughts and nothing ever, ever made sense. The Charoda scrubbed the heels of her hand into her eyes, she wouldn’t cry. She would not. She would get up and do something. Anything but think. Her eyes gazed at the weapon miserably, once upon a time she had gotten it as a gift. To defend herself. Standing out of the water I’sona dried her hands in the sand, wiggling them around until they weren’t slippery and the sand could be dusted off. Reaching for it once more she felt the weight in her hands, if was more than a physical weight, this weight dragged her down in all forms. “A little cold, isn't it?” I’sona started at the voice and turned, “Didn’t meant to scare you.” “Is fine.” There was a minute of pure awkwardness where the Akalak simply stared at the Charoda and she stared back, unsure of what to do with herself and why he had spoken. It only occurring after the awkwardness completely settled that she realized she might be in his way, he was probably a jogger. “Sorrying, I will moves.“ The Akalak man gave an appreciative nod, a bit of encouragement and jogged off, followed by a few other younger children. These people were ready to go at a moment’s notice, even the children would fight if they could. Even the Konti who she knew rarely fought would defend. The had the will to fight, to protect but fighting wasn’t protect. And she was back at square one. Heaving not her first nor her last sigh of the day I’sona heated up the weapon. She tried to imagine someone ready to do her harm, an evil thing. But neither her body nor mind twitched in repose to fight, rather it twitch to flee, her feet sliding back. Trying to keep her own thoughts away she lifted the weapon up stiffly, thrusting sideways and sloppily, as if waving the blade would threaten her imaginary foe. But imaginary or not she didn’t want to hurt it. It didn’t stop her mind from showing her precisely what attackers could do to her.

[I'sona]

She had continued this for only chimes. Swinging her weapon up and down, left to right, forwards and back more with the intent to bar her imaginary attacker from getting to close but not near ready to attack it. Thinking back she tried to think of a real situation where someone had fought, where she had seen blood spilt and realized she never had. She couldn’t attack something if she couldn’t even imagine how to hurt it, didn’t want to imagine how to hurt it. With a gasp she realized only once had she even seen someone defend. With words but it was the same for she had seen how words, even those she could not understand, would cut a person from the inside. Turning to face the city I’sona wondered what would have happened to her had she not arrived or had the city not existed. The very thought make her feel ill. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt. And there was no one attacking… No attacking… No fighting… No harm… The Charoda laughed. Dropped her weapon and continued to giggle helplessly. No one would get hurt. She sat here worrying over things that could be, what it would mean to fight but if she never had to use it…it would be so bad. No one was attacking Riverfall or its people or her. In fact, the worse enemy she had ever met was a very cranky fisherman. Learning how to fight did not mean she had to actually fight. She knew some of her own that could fight but had never raised a finger, even in dire circumstances. She could do the same, she could and would abide this places rules and her own. She had to. A bit of her guilt and fear ebbed away, not entirely but enough to where she did not feel like the Khopesh would turn and swallow her whole. For now this could be her reason. She didn’t need to think anymore. Just swing the weapon. Just like she swung her nets.

[Gossamer]

. Character: I’sona Experience: Logic +1, Meditation +2, Khopesh +2, Observation +2 Lore: Awareness of the predator prey food chain. How to Firm Up One’s Principles with Logic, Waging an Internal Personal Power Struggle, Additional Note: Interesting little thread. I enjoyed it. I would have liked to see more technique on the Khopesh, but I felt far too distracted by I’sona’s personal struggles with her own value system. Its going to be interesting how she changes roaming dry land verses how she is beneath the sea. .