The World's Deadliest Preadolescent

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The World's Deadliest Preadolescent

Postby Anton on October 23rd, 2012, 10:53 am

Letterboxes are so mainstream. I have a dire glassbeak-myrian tiger hybrid the size of a leviathan deliver my mail for me. The neighbours hide in the their little burrows when it comes around, to no avail, for my beast pops it's head through their doors to attack. It tears into them not with claws and fangs, but with harsh criticism and judgemental statements insinuating that being normal is just not cool. My beast could bifurcate them with his ten zillion claws, but he prefers to wave them around ironically, relishing in tools bereft of it's original purpose.

My personal mailman is a hipster.

Now send me the damn letters.
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The World's Deadliest Preadolescent

Postby Imass on November 26th, 2012, 6:01 pm

Fall, 9th, 512 AV

Ser Imass, Worshiper of Tyveth, Yahal, and Sylir, Sworn Knight of Syliras TO Arrius of Alvadas

Hail Citizen of Alvadas!

Verily, I write thee this letter in great haste for the days are short and my Duty is great. I write to thee this day to give you an account of how I came to obtain the letter addressed to Mister John Locke. Hopefully after ye read my tale, the reason I am writing to thee will be clear enough.

It all started at mid-day during the second full moon of the Season of Summer. We where riding with the outriders in the vanguard as the main host marched onward to the city of Zeltiva. As we pushed through the vast forest that crossed the East Kabrin road, the underfoot was getting increasingly more treachorous with every league. Due to this, we pushed out riders forward to make sure that no harm would befall us.

Ser Rodger, Ser Ballin, Ser Thomas, Ser Bolston, and each our respective squires were outriding when a group of bandit’s engaged use from the top of a ridge that rose with the forest. Arrows began to hail from the higher elavation. None, but one arrow found their mark in the initial volley. Ser Bolston’s squire was pinned in the leg and was useless the rest of the engagement.

Without a sense of direction or knowledge of our attackers. We retreated, reformed, and wheeled around to give chase. It was our Duty to chase these highway men, before they escaped and double down their tracks by the river to escape us.

Forcing our warhorses up the ridge we faced more arrow fire, however we raised our shields high and let the forest cover us. No bolts meet their mark as we climbed. Reaching the top of the ridge was a crew of bandits ready for us. Ser Rodger was the first to come through the threshold of the ridge. His horse was impaled by what seemed to be half a dozen sticks. I followed with Ser Bolston and my own squire at my side. The warhorse kicked up through the impaled beast and joined the fray.

Almost immediately we were faced with arrow fire, but once we engaged all that nonsense stopped. We put an end to the madness faster than anticipated and with no casualties. Serving swift justice to the bandits, we put their heads on stakes as a reminder what happened to those who would try to make profit of the Syliran Knights.

What we didn’t know that day, was that the bandits where actually a mercenary band formed specifically to loot the supply train as the host trudged through the forest. Our numbers meant nothing with their guerrilla tactics. It seemed as if I myself struck the first blow, but for the days that followed we were raided constantly. We lost several good men. I could sit here and talk about them for days, but that is for another letter, another time.

A fortnight after the initial ambush, after night and day of constant raiding, our outriders where able to finally pick up on their trail. We finally had a good picture at where they where moving and where they were setting up camp. Volunteering for the extermination expedition, we proceded to bring our horses around the bandit team and attempt to flank them.

After giving two days chase we finally caught up to them from behind and rode gallently into combat. They were in two separate camps, but we stormed upon them unawares. The fighting last several minutes. I will also be the first to admit that the bandits faught valiently. None of them cowarded. They all stood their ground and fought. However, we had Tyverth and Sylir backing us up and we could not be beaten. Even the bandit’s desperate efforts did not save the lot of them.

That being said, we did mess up, we are only mortals after all. Three men escape the battlefield that day and with them they took a wooden strong box that was perhaps taken during some raid. It surely was full of Knightly valuables and plunder. We needed to chase, but our horses were tired from the full days gallop. The suvivors would live on another day. Rather I should say another moons turn, for we did not find them readily as well. The three escaped bandits had escaped our men, but we knew they would be going towards Zeltiva, that was the only place they could go for any attempt at life.

We had no other leads, expect for a torn fragment of a parchment with the name of a man named John Locke. The evidence was inconlusive, but it was a name. And a name is enough. Upon reaching Zeltiva we searched for this so called John Locke to no avail, thus our host continued. The overland path after Zeltiva was easy going and our minds soon forgot about the run away outlaws and Mister Locke’s torn letter.

That was until we got raided once again. I was sure that these stupid criminals would learn, but they didn’t and continued to use the same tactics to steal petty supplies and gold from us. It was more annoying than a real threat. It was even more annoying when men died for their petty non sense. After some skrimishing in the wildlands we finally came upon the bandit camp and laid it to waste. One squire and a knight fell in that ambush, but otherwise the attack was clean. We took half a dozen prisoner and started to question them before execution.

Fates behold though, the wooden strong box taken from us before was admist the camp. Openning the container we found a series of letters, including several written by the man John Locke and one letter addressed to him that you wrote yourself. None of the prisoners confessed to being known as John Locke, nor did they know anyone in their brigade named such. None of them looked to be the sort to be writing letters to Alvadas anyways.

Thus I came upon thy letter and thus I am responding to thee. It may very well be that Mister John Locke is dead now, either by our hand or the outlaws. It is a mystery why the bandits would be in possession of these letters. My instinct tells me that Mister Locke was mugged and killed while traveling. Your perhaps the courier themselves where assaulted. Who knows, but I wander why they would keep the letters. Perhaps they were attempting to ransom the letters?

Many men died to retrieve these letters, Arrius, it would do them honor if you told us everything you know this John Locke character and give us insight on how perhaps these letters got stuck in the Bandit’s lock box in the first place.

[The letter seemed have to continued, but the last portion was smeared until unlegible. It was apparent that it was done on purpose.]

I look forward to thy cooperation,
Sincerely,
SER IMASS



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