[Note by Banshee] My CS

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My CS

Postby Suliss Mwelcaro on June 2nd, 2013, 5:12 am

Name: Suliss Mwelcaro
Race: Akalak
Age: 14th day of winter, year 497 AV
Gender: male
Apearance: short dark blonde hair, blue eyes, 6'2, 80kg, dark purple skin colour,
Home: Cyphrus, Riverfall
Goals
Main goal: finding a soulmate
Side goal: bringing honar to my family by killing a Zith
Other goal: travel the world
Personality: i am a very up beat, fast going and playful person, alothough it take a wile for things to sink in. i very much like accepting and giving compasion, such as hugs. I'd say that i'm a moral warrior.
Interests: i like to fight for the things i love and i like to work on my self, make my self a better person.
Strengths: kidness, compasion, moral, brave, inteligent
Weakneses: grounded (dislikes new things), socialy awkward at times, lazy, impatiant, oppressive at times.
Equipment:
-1 set of leather clothing, cloak included
-1 waterskin
-backpack which contains: 1 stet of toiletrees, cooked Glassbeak meat for a week, 1 eating knife, flint and steal
-600 gm
Skills
- +10 Blacksmithing
- +10 Cooking
- +10 Music Composition
- +10 Wilderness survival
- +10 Unarmed combat
Racial Bonus
+10 Unarmed combat
Family Heirloom
Wedge tailed eagle (Remmy)
Launguages
Fluent: Tukant
Basic: Common
Poor: Pavi
[url]http://math.hws.edu/javanotes/c6/circle_in_square.gif
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Suliss Mwelcaro
The Strange
 
Posts: 5
Words: 1646
Joined roleplay: June 1st, 2013, 2:40 pm
Race: Akalak
Character sheet

My CS

Postby Magpie on June 3rd, 2013, 12:37 pm

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Hi there! I'm Magpie, AS of Riverfall. I noticed some parts in your character sheet that don't quite fit with the lore of Mizahar. You'll have to correct them before you can receive any grades for your PC, and it would be much appreciated if you would stop posting in any threads until the below issues have been addressed. If you have any questions or concerns about anything I mention below, please don't hesitate to message me and we can work it out.

  • Spelling/Grammar: Correct spelling, grammar, and capitalization is required for all writing in Mizahar. Please correct the numerous errors in your CS.
  • History: You need some sort of personal history of your character.They are still very young, but what was their childhood like? Any major events in their past?
  • Heirloom: A grown eagle is far too expensive for an heirloom, which have a 50gm limit. Even an eagle chick is 100gm, and you'd need competent level Animal Husbandry to care for it.
  • Skills: Please combine your skills into a single table, while still differentiating between racial bonus and starting skills. See the second post here for an example.
  • Lanuages: You must have a reason for knowing Pavi, as it is not well known in Riverfall.
  • Clothing: Leather clothing is to expensive for a starting package. Please modify it to be cotton or linen.
  • Housing: You may not turn in your housing in Riverfall for the 500gm, as the city does not allow homelessness. Please explicitly state where you're staying in Riverfall, as STs will need this when looking at seasonal living expenses.
  • Lores: You don't have any! Please see the lores section of the starting package for more information on choosing starting lores.

After you've addressed these issues in your CS, please PM me, and I'll remove this intervention. Thank you in advance for your cooperation!
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Magpie
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Posts: 888
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Joined roleplay: January 28th, 2013, 4:49 pm
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