Completed Looking Up From Underneath (Jorin Ertihan)

[Rinya]

Rinya vaguely wondered if she should tell him what her childhood was like. Well for however short her childhood was anyways. Growing up faster than anyone else around her left her little time to make friends with the children her age. Even if she could have, her father wasn’t fond of her playing with the children of the city. Too risky… His words were soft for his mother. He obviously loved her very much. As he spoke of his mother, Rinya finally pulled her hand from his, her fingers from her right hand coming up to her left wrist cradled to her chest, gently running over the blue braided cord around her wrist. But he seemed slightly reluctant to speak of his father at first. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she shifted herself until she stood directly in front of him. His father sounded much like hers. The only difference was his father pushed him for mathematics. Her father taught her hunting. "When I'm on stage, when I act, I can be a wizard, a king, a god! And for two chimes, I am someone great, someone worthy. But then the play ends. And I'm just me again." Rinya couldn’t help but snort at his last comment. Shaking her head she looked away from him. ”You obviously do not see yourself clearly.” She realized in the back of her mind, that it sounded rather offensive but there was no taking that back… especially not when she meant it. ”I think I can understand your parents… maybe even your father. Of course assumptions can only lead to disaster but—I don’t think math was his way of telling you that you weren’t good enough. After all—he said it didn’t he?” She pulled both her hands behind her back as she started to slowly traverse the tubes. Even in the dark, there was an odd beauty to the bay. She could see flashes of creatures in the water that seemed to glow in the dark. Never enough to truly see what they were, just glimpses in the dark. ”You do exactly as he says. No matter what gets thrown in your way. The trouble with your troupe, or the complexities of figuring out your art… he taught you that one important lesson. Don’t stop, keep going.” Twisting her body slightly to look back at him, she shrugged and gave him a small smile. ”He’s proud of you… you just don’t know it yet. Maybe he doesn’t even know it yet. Your mother nurtured your gift... your father gave the mind to never give it up no matter how hard it gets.” She liked that idea. Don’t stop, keep going. Her father taught her something similar—never in so many words. Survival was never about thinking you could do something, but doing it. Even if she was living it, it always sounded better than it felt though. Leaning forward, she placed her hands against the tube. In the dark it was calming and things never looked as bad as they felt in the bright light of day. Frowning slightly, she wondered if she got that backwards. Oh well… "That is all my assumption though. You certainly came out strong enough. And what is exactly so wrong with just being you anyways?"

[Jorin Ertihan]

"He's proud of you..." Those words cut like a knife through Jorin's heart. Because it cut to the root of what he worried of the most. That his parents were not proud of him. That they were disappointed. Disappointed he never became a great mathematician. Disappointed that he never achieved his potential. Disappointed that he didn't exceed his parents. "Proud ... you think so?" he asked softly. Jorin smiled softly at Rinya's last question. What was wrong with being him? What wasn't wrong with being him? Jorin sighed deeply. "My father a genius, my mother a prodigy," Jorin answered. "Both are eminent in their domains. But I am neither. I am not a brilliant mathematician, nor am I a fine artist. Sometimes I wonder if, secretly, they are disappointed. If they are ashamed. Is that why they let me leave ...?" Jorin shook his head, clearing it. Enough melancholy thoughts. "But you're right," he admitted, turning back to her. It was interesting, looking at her in the strange underwater tunnel. The lights from some of the more luminescent creatures echoing off the floor, giving her an almost ... ethereal quality. "I've never given up. And I don't plan to." Jorin smiled. No forced cheer this time. No, Rinya was definitely right. He didn't give up. He may not have his father's genius or his mother's eye, but he did have their tenacity and drive. He would succeed. He'd find a way. "Your father, I'm sure he loved you too," Jorin said, as he walked up to Rinya and stood next to her. "Maybe that's how fathers show their love. Not by gentle encouragements and soft words, but by trying to prepare their children for the harsh world." Jorin paused. "This truly is lovely. I can't thank you enough for showing me this place. Lately I've been struggling to get even one poem out a day. Today I got two!" Jorin held out his hand, his eyes laughing and his face lit up with a smile. Yes, this is a beautiful place, a happy place. No more morose musings, no more depressed brooding. Jorin wanted Rinya's memories of her first visit here to be a pleasant one. "Come on," he urged. "Let's take a look at that big glowy one!"

[Rinya]

He seemed a little shocked that she figured his parents were proud of him. She was a little tempted to remind him that he was young and he had a good long way to go to truly become anything he wanted, but technically she was younger than he was—even if she appeared to be nearly his age. He smiled none the less, so she let the thought drop. If she ever ran into him again, she would just have to remind him if she had to. "I've never given up. And I don't plan to."Tilting her head a little, Rinya grinned at him and rolled her eyes… god she hadn’t done that little move in a long time. "Your father, I'm sure he loved you too,"Rinya almost laughed at the thought. It wasn’t so much she doubted her father’s love—entirely anyway. He did everything he could to ensure her survival, but his disappearance left a deep gash in her life. She may have stayed in Sylira for quite some time if he had stayed. But then, she may never have grown up either. She could have lived her life happy as a bird, but it would have been only a half life… especially without a bondmate. If she had stayed in Sylira… she would miss out on all the things she was doing now. To miss out on this part of her life… maybe she could forgive her father one day. Rinya was so deep in thought; she had missed Jorin’s last words. Her eyes snapped up to his face, then down to his outstretched hand. He was happy again, the kind of happy she wanted to be. Releasing a low sigh, she easily twisted her hand into his without hesitation this time. ”I don’t think you have it in you to give up Jorin. The sky would have to fall the day you did.” The words were out before she could really think about them. Twitching her nose slightly, Rinya could feel heat in her face again. Clearing her throat a little, she kept her gaze away from him for the moment. ”You said before at the cliffs that you had read about kelvics… just how much do you know about us?” There… that was a decent distraction right?

[Jorin Ertihan]

Jorin laughed again. It wasn't a cruel laugh, or a mocking one, just an expression of mirth. There was absolutely nothing wrong with what Rinya had said, but it was so clear she thought there was. Jorin thought it was absolutely adorable how she twitched her nose every time she said something she thought she shouldn't. Jorin's laugh settled down into a comfortable smile. "What I read ... yes." he thought for a moment. Of course, he knew she was obviously trying to change the subject. They did it to him all the time in the troupe, especially when they were tired of his theatrics. Still, where they did it out of irritation, she obviously did it out of nervousness. The last thing Jorin wanted was for her to be nervous around him. "My father's study had precious little books on other races. He was, after all, a mathematician, he saw little value in meeting new people. There was only one book, really, 'The Exciting Adventures of Korali!' which was a children's book about an eagle Kelvic named Korali who went around, getting into mischief. I ... don't really know why my father had that book, but I thought it was much more fun than the dry mathematics books he had there." Jorin's face broke into a happy grin as he remembered the stories. "Oh, Korali was such a character. He'd perch on people's heads, and steal melons, and be a general nuisance. But he was a good-hearted Kelvic, always willing to help people in need. I ... don't know how much of that story was accurate, and all it spoke of the actual Kelvic race was that they transformed from animal to person, but I always wondered what it would be like to meet a real Kelvic." Jorin smiled warmly and squeezed Rinya's hand. "I'm glad I met you! I'll admit, I know so very little about your people ... but I'd love to learn!" He watched as a large fish with a glowing dangler floated by. "... I wonder if there are any fish Kelvics ...?"

[Rinya]

He had…. Read about her race from a children’s book? Rinya couldn’t help it; her free hand came up to cover her mouth as she tried to stifle the giggles that were trying to escape. She figured Jorin would probably be one of those guys who would want to meet nearly every race he could—but he wanted to meet a kelvic because a child’s book? Grinning brightly, Rinya bit down on the tip of her tongue and shook her head. The glowing fish seemed to be growing in numbers now that it was so late, the ocean flow was colored like a dark rainbow. “Fish Kelvic?”Rinya’s brow furrowed a little in thought. Her father had gone over the different types of Kelvic races themselves, but he had never mentioned anything about fish. ”No… I don’t think so. Mostly we turn out to be mammals or birds of some kind. Some even get to be the giant wind eagles. But that’s very rare. I don’t even think there is any lizard type Kelvics.” ”We don’t have lifespans like other races do. I’ll… be lucky if I reach—whatever your approximant age is. Somewhere around twenty for you, would be like… eighty for me.” Tapping the tubes with her free as they walked, Rinya watched the fish scatter around the nearly invisible rocks. How exactly did they see? Her vision almost felt a little blurry, not made for this kind of light. ”And of course all Kelvics are driven to find a…”Petch it all! Rinya jolted to a sudden stop and her eyes flew to his face in slight shock. If he didn’t know much about Kelvics… then he didn’t know anything about bondmates. She wasn’t sure how to explain that particular problem. Jorin wasn’t bound to retract from her if she told him about this issue like some of the boys in Sylira did… right? ”Well uhh… we have this… uhm…” Yeah, she had no idea where to go with trying to explain the complexities that came with being bonded. How did one explain that it could be anything? Friends, lovers… hell even young Kelvics bonded to slave masters. Or the fact it usually just sort of happened, but yet had to be accepted? Or even the fact that if a Kelvic was rejected it could have serious ramifications? Rinya couldn’t help the groan that escaped her. ”Sorry I don’t… know how to explain it. Some people are—afraid of… bonding. It’s a very complicated issue, and it isn’t very…” She could feel her nerves kicking up again. Loss of words was causing Rinya to fidget slightly. ”Controlled. It is very hard to understand and depending on how the bonding goes it can leave a Kelvic scarred—emotionally; sometimes even death if they are rejected. All depends on the type of bond actually. Uhm… sometimes bond… mates do not realize they’ve even bonded to a Kelvic. It just sort of… happens. They just have to be willing…” Rinya finished lamely, realizing she hadn’t actually explained a whole lot of the issue. Glancing down at his hand in hers, she suppressed the urge to pull her hand away. She didn’t want him to think she was… yeah she felt nervous all over again, and she went back to staring out the tubes and nibbling on her lip.

[Jorin Ertihan]

She seemed so ... frightened. Jorin couldn't understand why. What was so wrong? Her halting statements spoke of an abiding fear of ... something. Perhaps it was of rejection. Had she been rejected before? Was that why this was so hard for her to talk about? "I'm sure you'll find a wonderful bondmate, Rinya," Jorin said. And he absolutely meant it. She was bold, yet awkward in her own endearing way. Independent, yet friendly, once you got to know her. Smiling at her, Jorin continued. "I can't say I fully understand what this bond is supposed to be, but I'm absolutely confident you'll find that person someday. I'll admit, I'm curious as to what that bonding entails, but I'm sure it must be wonderful." Jorin turned now to the dark rainbow swimming by. It had an eerie beauty all its own, so different from the laughing sun of day, or the fiery sunset. It was like the sea had reclaimed the light, and now proudly shone its defiance of the night. In a small corner of Jorin's mind, he wondered if perhaps Rinya was, in her own way, asking him if he was willing to be a bondmate. But he quickly squashed this thought. For one, she was such a straightforward girl, surely if that was what she meant, that would be what she would have said. Besides, he thought to himself bitterly, would you really want to shackle such a bright spirit to such a loser as yourself? Shaking these dark thoughts from his mind, Jorin took Rinya's other hand and clasped them both, looking her directly in the eyes. "For an artist, all things are beautiful. The fish here are beautiful, the clouds in the sky are beautiful. Beauty is everywhere, you just have to look for it. But that doesn't mean all beauty is the same. Some things ... are unique. Special. These things you hold close to your heart because, in the end, the sum of them, defines who you are. This ... thing, this bond, you speak of, it sounds like a rare and special gift. So take your own advice." Jorin grinned. "As my father, and now you, say, 'Don't stop, keep going.' And I'm absolutely certain one day you'll find the person who is deserving of so golden a gift."

[Rinya]

Rinya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was rambling and it wasn’t doing either of them any good. He was just curious about Kelvics, she didn’t need to freak out over bonding thoughts. Especially when he was being so kind about the whole thing—she was starting to feel like a mess. But when he grabbed her free hand and looked directly at her, she held her breath. Despite the fact she freaked out on him, he was still willing to stand there and reassure her that it couldn’t be as bad as she thought. She couldn’t help but smile softly at him. A gift he called it. ”It isn’t so much that I’m afraid of the bond I guess. My father… he kept me away from people just to prevent me from bonding. He himself seemed bitter to it. I used to think he left because he didn’t need to take care of me anymore, but the more I think about it…” Rinya tilted her head a little and stared at Jorin’s chest. Her father hadn’t been gone long, but she spent a lot of time thinking about how he acted before he left. ”I think he was bonded to someone, before he was taken as a slave. The more time that past the more…impatient he seemed. Breeding Kelvics are… well Kelvics can only bond to one person at a time, and we can’t bond to another Kelvic.” Rinya ran her thumbs over his in a lightly circular motion, mostly unconsciously. The movement calmed her—well he calmed her, but she wasn’t bound to admit to that one yet. She lifted her eyes back to his after a moment. ”How to compare it so you understand…Oh! You know those children stories with the hero and the best friend; the friend that’s so loyal and would sacrifice anything to keep that hero alive? Kelvic bonds are kind of like that. Granted we don’t have to bond to be that way, but with that one person we would do anything for them. It’s quite often that when a male and female bond, that it ends up being even… more. My father said that it’s even happened that a Kelvic may bond with a best friend, and marry someone else.” The possibilities were endless, the kind that could make your head hurt. ”Anyway… if you were to possibly bond with a Kelvic—you’d feel it. It’s a… kind of a draw to the other. At least that’s from what I could understand. I can’t imagine the pain my father might have been in… being bonded to someone and being so far away from them. Maybe he had a wife… I might have siblings somewhere.” Sighing, Rinya squeezed his hands before letting both of them go. Reaching behind her, she pulled the tie holding her braids together free and released her hair. She pulled the braids free before smiling weakly at him. ”It’s a hard life for all of us. You, Jorin, are too kind. I’ve never met anyone like you before. My father would hate you.” She smirked playfully at him, unbraiding each side of her hair. ”He’d say you’re being nice to me because I either scare you, or you want something from me. But maybe that’s the other way around… Maybe I’m different with you because…” She shook her head and shrugged. ”At least you’re not like my patrol partner. He certainly brings out my usual blunt and snarky side. I can never decide if he’s serious about making me his Nakivak.”

[Jorin Ertihan]

Jorin laughed again, when Rinya stated her father would have hated him. Of course he would have, Jorin thought. It was an old saw that anyone worth knowing was someone your parents hated. When he'd calmed down again, Jorin turned to Rinya. "Rinya," Jorin insisted, "Please belive me that I would never want anything from you, that you weren't willing to give." Jorin gave her his most sincere look. "An artist creates, a thief takes. And I am not a thief." He smiled. "And I'm certainly glad that I'm unique! I do try." Jorin grinned at that last part. He did try to be as unique as possible, but all too often that ended up with him merely acting dramatic again, and annoying people. He was glad that at least Rinya seemed to think just normal, old Jorin was unique. Then something Rinya had mentioned piqued his interest. "What's a Nakivak?"

[Rinya]

Rinya blinked before she smiled and shook her head again. That was one of the first things she learned being in Riverfall. Brushing her fingers through her hair and then flipping it over her shoulder, she started to walk back down the tubes. They couldn’t be too far from the exit if she figured right. ”Well… technically I cannot be a Nakivak. Riverfall sees Kelvics as pets—much to my own irritation, but they don’t necessarily force anything on me so it’s a title I can live with for now.” Boy would her father be mad at her if he heard her say that. ”It’s a type of station I guess, for Konti and human females who make a pact with the Akalak. They uhh… are well taken care of females who have agreed to bare children of Akalak. My partner is young… a fully grown male Akalak granted, but very young in terms of Akalak lifespan. But he enjoys getting a rise out of me really. Calls me “pet” and everything; and after each patrol we finish he always tugs on my braid and says he wants me to bear him a child.” Rinya rolled her eyes, muttering something about Akalak’s and their dual personalities. ”Apparently I seem to be the only choice he’s got right now. At least that’s what he says. Keeps telling me I’ll give in and give him five children…” Rinya snorted and stepped out of the tubes, a little surprised that they ended up on the other end of Riverfall. Well… this was going to be a long walk home.

[Jorin Ertihan]

A pet?! For a moment, Jorin felt almost sick to his stomach. Rinya was a person, a living, breathing individual! Just because she wasn't human, or Konti didn't mean she was some sort of ... trophy, to be kept around just to ... Jorin took a few deep breaths. His mother had always taught him to keep an open mind, saying that different peoples had different cultures. But ... a pet? How could they? Why are you so upset? Jorin thought to himself. He wasn't quite sure. It just ... irritated him that anyone could see another person in that way. To him, it just wasn't right. He valued his independence and would be very unhappy if someone took that away from him. He couldn't think of a worse fate than to become someone's pet. "I ... that ..." It was one of the few times in his life that Jorin could not find the words. He took a few calming breaths. "You're not a pet, Rinya. Please don't think that you are! That's ... I can't imagine what it must be like, having to deal with that all day. I suppose, perhaps even I would get short with someone who treated me like that." Jorin imagined Rinya calling him "pet" and ordering that he hop around like a dog performing tricks. The image of it was so funny that he burst out laughing, the earlier anger evaporating like clouds before the sun. Suddenly, Jorin looked around and realized they were outside the tunnel ... and on the opposite end of Riverfall. How did they end up so far? Were they really here for that long? He saw Rinya's tired look and smiled. "Why don't you just transform and fly home? If you tell me where you live, I'll take your things and deliver them to you. You must be tired, I don't want you to have to walk so far home. It's the least I could do to thank you for such a wonderful day."