Completed [Sultros Blades] This Graceless Heart (Orion)

[Hadyn Skellig]

86th of Summer
513 AV
Late Night

She paced relentlessly. The soles of her shoes were a god's gift for remaining intact. Brow furrowed, the woman chewed on her bottom lip as she went. She hadn't seen him in nearly a season. Heard about him, 'course. Nearly impossible not to. But nothing that stirred much in her aside from mild interest at his endeavors. Well, until now. It was time - she'd put it off too long but she couldn't anymore. It wasn't right.

Given their scant interactions she'd opted for a note. How trite. But she wasn't about to prance into his barracks and demand his time. No. She sent him a polite, short message indicating she would like to see him. Giving a bell and a day, she informed him she would be working late in the forge and if it was convenient for him, might he stop by for a spell.

Perhaps he wouldn't. Ever a social butterfly he likely had lists to his ankles of folk to rub elbows with. But if she didn't give him this information now she'd never be able to live with herself. Simply a matter of what was right. Worrying on her lower lip the woman paused as the candlelight flickered near the door, casting tremulous shadows across the wall. She was not dressed for work, this being her day off. But the loose blouse over dark britches suggested she wasn't taking a holiday. She smelled of the stables.

Twining a loose strand of hair around her finger, Hadyn turned from the door. Steeling herself against his potential reaction was harder now that it was moments from his arrival. If he arrived at all.

"Grow the petch up," she muttered to herself before resorting to chewing on a thumbnail, anxiety written on her pale features. The admonishment did little to quell the roiling in her belly that made her ill with displeasure. Her body was all over the map of late, which annoyed her deeply. It was difficult to do her job in the manner she expected of herself. A scowl darkened her visage as she considered the piss poor state of her smithing. All the better to get this over with so she could return to her real passion in this life.

Her heart jumped in her chest as the door creaked on its hinges. Turning halfway the brunette cast a sidelong glance at the entrance, praying for the briefest second it was just a coworker who'd forgotten his jacket. A girl can hope...

[Orion Michaels]

Orion was more than surprised when he received the note from one Hadyn Skellig. The last time he'd interacted with her had been something crazy. Out in the woods at the request of that annoying woman whose name escaped him. Shiress was there, too. That could have been awkward. That was all behind him now, and he'd not spoken of or too either of them since. Why was that, exactly?

Still, he wasn't sure what to make of it. Why so late? Didn't she have days off? Maybe she was looking for a little fun? That night, that glorious drunken night. He couldn't claim that it was something he could exactly remember, but the fuzzy moments which remained, well, they were spectacular. He wouldn't mind another go, if that's what the smithy had in mind.

All of those thoughts faded, however, as his burden came rushing back into his mind. Emily. The child he'd tried to forget, hoping that Roxy would be able to care for her. Nothing ever quite worked out entirely for Orion Michaels. She'd been thrust back into his life, and the only promise he'd made to Roxy about that child came true. If she couldn't care for her, he would. Words he would take back if he could.

Arriving at the Sultros Blades, Orion tried to push all thoughts of his problems aside that he could just meet with Hadyn and see what she wanted. He'd spent the last few days recovering from an intense ordeal outside the city, so despite all his worries, he was feeling somewhat well rested. Dressed in a simple white shirt and black slacks, Orion entered the locale, surprised to see Hadyn waiting there, a look mixed with terror and anticipation upon her face.

There was something wrong.

"Hadyn? What's going on?

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn winced aloud as the open door revealed Orion Michaels, her anticipated guest. He didn't appear particularly pleased to see her, though he was handsome as ever. Waiting for him to shut the door the woman offered a slight smile. Now that he was here she had no choice. Spit it out and move on with it all.

"Orion," she greeted him with a nod. It wasn't a gesture of kindness or even welcome. It was an acknowledgement of his decision to come to this place tonight. "Good t'see you alive and well."

So far so good.

"Thank you for 'ttendin' the note. Sure 'n it's last minute." She paused. How does one segue into such a topic? Resisting the urge to break his gaze and look away the woman took a deep breath before speaking again. "Reckon it's been near a season since I've seen you. And it's no doubt a surprise t'hear from me..."

Out with it!

"Orion I'm... well petch. Went over better in m'head, it did. Y'see... I'm with child. Your child."

Gods, how difficult those words seemed, sputtering from her lips. But she maintained eye contact. She wasn't ashamed. Shyke happens. But the various scenes that'd played over in her mind never truly felt the way the actual moment felt now. Here she was, standing before a man she hardly knew. But she held her head high, brown eyes staring with unabashed vulnerability and anxiety. If he turned and walked out she could deal with it. If he became irate, she could deal with it. It took stiff resolve to keep her composure as the silence hung between them.

[Orion Michaels]

Anything that she said before those unbelievable, shocking words faded. The greeting. The look she'd had on her face when he'd entered. That cautious look, that oh so cautious look, it made sense now. Of course that would be the case. This was the most insane ten days of his life. The Djed Storms? They were a joke. Child's play. He could have stood outside the walls of Syliras in the nude, calling down the wrath of the Gods and he'd have been fine. He had to live that he could be tormented in these days. Emily. Balicani. And now this, Hadyn. Hadyn and..

Hadyn and their..

Child?

Orion stared at the woman blankly as his mind screamed in confusion. He'd been so careful in the past.

No. That's a complete and utter lie, Orion. You suck.

He hadn't been careful, that was how he got Emily. He hadn't been careful, that's how this was happening. Stupid, stupid man. Orion gave Hadyn a look, hoping she would give some clue that she was joking, but the complete openness of her expression, the uncertainty in his eyes, they spoke volumes of truth.

So Orion did the only thing he could do.

He laughed.

Quietly at first, but a crescendo into quite the boisterous laugh soon followed. His arms were quickly wrapped around his waist as he staggered over to a nearby chair, nearly choking as he just kept laughing. Tears streamed down his face as the shock disappeared and the reality set in. He couldn't imagine for the woman to be one to come after his money, or play some cruel joke. He had no worries it was some other man's. Though he barely knew the woman, she'd come across as a proud one, not even willing to let him pay for her drink. This was his, no doubt in his mind.

He looked up at Hadyn through watery eyes, a half grin on his lips. "Sorry, sorry. It's not funny. It's just that..that.." Taking a deep breath, Orion exhaled before finishing the ridiculous thing he had to say. "It's not that you expect to have two kids pop into your life in such a short span! The Gods have a sense of humor, don't they?"

He had to find the humor in it. If he didn't, he'd break down, and lose it. Everything he'd worked for. All the progress he'd made. He'd throw it all away. He'd run again, just like he had years ago. Just like he'd been doing only a season ago. He couldn't possibly give it all up yet, right?

[Hadyn Skellig]

He was laughing. Laughing like a drunkard too deep in his cup to care. Hadyn stared blankly. Of all the reactions she'd played over in her mind prior to this moment this... this was not even on the list. Her mouth hung open, lips parted in utter shock. Her brow began to furrow with confusion. The petch was the matter with him?

He regained enough composure to spit out a few sentences but she could only stare. Dumbly stare. Two? Closing her mouth Hadyn grimly set to the task of conjuring up words to respond to this mess. He was clearly unstable.

"Two?" she croaked out meagerly. He'd gotten another woman pregnant? Gods above, he quite the potent creature. Taking a breath she straightened her back, voice strained. "Admittedly not the funniest thing I've heard all day. But y'don't do much in your life without laughin', hm?"

She regarded him carefully. Was his riotous giggling a sign he was truly mad? Or preparing himself to walk right out the door, chuckling all the way to the Knights' comfortable bunk beds. Whatever it meant she'd done what needed doing. And he was welcome to whatever absurd reaction he required to make it through. The muscle in her jaw clenched momentarily as she ignored the tiny voice in her head telling her to smack the stupid out of him.

"Well, there it is. I'm not askin' for 'nythin'. Do fine enough on my own," she assured him with a glance around the shop. The last thing she wanted was him worrying over her wanting money. "Just thought... didn't feel right not tellin' you."

Her expression fell momentarily, a hand coming to the back of her neck to rest with an uneasy visage. It was simply unbelievable. Here she'd practiced herself for every response under the sun and he came up with the only one she hadn't dared to consider - though in retrospect, she should've known. The man laughed at everything. Everything was a joke, an opportunity to tease. A fine defense mechanism under any other circumstance. It pissed her off that his laughter hurt her.

Hadyn clenched her fist before releasing her fingers with an exhalation. There was no point in being angry at him, the poor bastard. But something about his ridiculous decline into hysterics made her honesty and sleepless nights of distress seem a joke. A damn joke. Swallowing the cruel retort lingering on her tongue the woman dropped her hand from her neck and stood still.

[Orion Michaels]

He couldn't figure it out. He couldn't stop the laughter, either, but he just couldn't figure it out. He was pissing her off, and he couldn't blame her for that reaction. She'd probably expected such a reaction from him, after all. Not this, though. Not this at all. "No, no, no. It's not that. Not that at all." Orion took another deep breath, trying to compose himself. He reached up and ran his sleeve across his face, wiping the tears of near insanity from himself.

"Oh, don't get upset at me for finding a way to deal with this, Hadyn," he remarked, smirking. Wasn't that just unexpected. He was less upset about the entire thing than she was? Or maybe he just wasn't letting it hit him yet. Had he hidden a bottle or two of the hard stuff in his dorm for when it did all come crashing down?

He sure hoped so.

"I've got a four year old who has recently come under my care. Forgive me if I find it somewhat amusing that I've gone from zero to two in a handful of days. Not much prepares you for that." He almost puffed up his chest, defiant in nature. The laughter had all but subsided. Remaining in his place was that petching smirk, the one that begged to be wiped off his face in one way or another. "Hit me, if you're gonna, Hadyn. Don't I deserve it?" He turned one of his cheeks towards her, lining up a target. "You say you don't want anything, so where does that leave us, hmm? You tell me about this child for what? You can live the rest of your life happier and I can have the regret?"

Orion sighed, shaking his head. "No, I didn't mean that. It's just..petch. I don't know. I don't know if I can just walk away, even though every ounce of my being seems to be screaming, 'run for the door, Orion!' Don't even feel like I know myself."

He looked to the ground, then up to Hadyn's face before his eyes briefly rested on her midsection. What do you do, Orion? I've done everything all wrong."Where do we go from here? Laughter isn't on the menu, it seems, and neither of us are very happy about it. I just..."

Orion fell silent. The man who always had a joke. The man who always had something to say. The man who refused to be serious.

He had no more words.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Brown eyes closed at his reproach to her statement. It irritated her but she kept breathing - slow breaths in and out. It was more than fair to say he was allowed to react however he wanted. She'd just prefer to be elsewhere. Eyes shot open when he continued, explaining the situation with his other child. A four year old. How fitting. The smirk replacing the laughter was indeed begging to smacked off his face. But she remained rooted where she stood. Pride and fatigue kept her from carrying out his self appointed sentence, though she longed to punch his perfectly shaped nose. Her heart gave a painful tug when Orion spat his cruel comment only to take it back.

"I'd love to run," she murmured at length once he'd fallen silent. Her voice was soft, resigned. "But clearly I could never run far 'nough."

Hadyn's instinctual desire to turn from him was overwhelming, remove her belly from his view when his eyes drifted there. As far along as she was the bump wasn't too large she couldn't hide it. Loose tunics, airy blouses, clothing not well fitted for a forge kept her growing belly hidden from the ignorant eyes of her coworkers. Half of her wanted to wrench the shirt up and show him exactly what he'd saddled her with. The other half simply wished to turn tail.

Staring at the ground, Hadyn felt drained. She'd done what she'd been loathe to do. And here he was messing up her rehearsed response and flustering her. Her feet were sore from standing and her muscles complained of the rigidity. She was lucky the words issuing forth even made sense. Looking up at him once more she couldn't hide the sympathy.

"Shyke, Orion. I'm sorry," she intoned with a measure of guilt. "Must be a petchin' lot to take in."

Against her better judgement she moved forward, crossing the floor to stand near him. Enough that she could rest her shoulder against the wall by his chair. Gods she was tired. Staring at him this close she was plagued by indecision. She was still pained by his initial reaction and the stinging jab about living happier. Being this close to him was awfully uncomfortable on some level. The fact that she'd delivered this unwanted news made her feel ostracized, especially given his predisposition to laugh at everything.

"Y'want a drink?"

[Orion Michaels]

"Were you hoping I would just leave, Hadyn?" Blue spheres found themselves gazing at the floor once again. How he wished he could find htat laughter again. It was so much easier to deal with when it was hidden behind a false smile. Now everything was too real. It was too sobering. It wasn't fair,. Gods, it wasn't fair.

"It would be a lot easier to manage if I weren't around, huh? I could just drop everything and get out of here. No sense in you running. It's not like I haven't made a life out of running. I can just go. I can jus-" Her apology came, and he didn't know what to do. He'd maintained his calm, well, relatively speaking. He hadn't yelled. He hadn't exploded like he was known to do. He hadn't broken down and cried like he was less known to do. Her saying sorry, though, it was the worst thing.

It forced him to think. It forced him to feel. He'd have to accept the reality sooner or later, after all.

He couldn't turn to face her, not with her right there beside her. She was looking down at him now. Was it judgement? Just blame him for it, he was the one with the tool that worked a little too well. Was it pity? "I...I.. He swallowed and opened his mouth again, trying to will the words out. The features of the smithy were faded in his mind, and it felt like Syna's rays were just screaming down upon them. They would follow him wherever he went, of that was he was sure. There was no running to be done.

Fear washed over him. Anxiety coursed through his veins. Orion's feet may as well have been buried under mountains of stone, for he couldn't even begin to move from his seat. Long, deep breathes did him no good as he finally shook his head in defeat. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his thighs, then rested his face in open palms. What more was there to do?

"I don't think a drink will do much for me at this point," he quipped, his voice muffled by his hands. "It's.."

What the petch was he supposed to do? Emily. Now this? I haven't even figured out how I'm going to care for Emily...I've got to do something here, right? A battle, no, a war raged on in the fragile psyche of Orion Michaels, a war between old and new ways. She'd given him permission to cut the cord and never look back. He'd have had no problems before. Before the knights came looking for him. Before Dinah. Before he'd found any sort of hope again.

Before Emily.

"I don't know what I'll do," he said, speaking slowly, deliberately. Every word was painful to speak, as though his voice was combating his choices, hurting him for his foolishness. "I don't know what I'll do," he repeated, this time moving his hands somewhat to let his voice come through more clear. "But, I just can't leave you to your own on this. It's as much your problem as it is mine."

His heart raced out of control. Had he really said such a thing? That didn't sound right at all. Not one bit. Everything was all wrong. Clearly the stress had him speaking nonsense.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Indecision plagued her. Gods, he was difficult man. If he wasn't chortling like a child he was mumbling incoherent things and lamenting his situation. She'd had about enough. When he finished she let him sit in his self pity a moment longer before taking a deep breath. Stepping closer, she knelt down, her face level with his, despite being buried in his palms. She placed a firm hand on his bicep, mindful not to impart any fragility but careful enough that she didn't topple him from the chair.

"Look here, Michaels," her voice was quiet but somber, brown eyes waiting to meet his. "You're in dire straits, I'll grant you. But y'aren't alone. You don't know what to do. Well I wager sittin' here all night mopin' isn't a grand start. Shyke news, 'specially on top of what the gods have already given you. Y'don't know me all that well but I'll tell you, when I set my mind to somethin' there's no turnin' from it. We've got some time afore we have to deal with this thing," she paused, hoping she wouldn't have to further explicate the noun designated for their child. "You've got your other one to deal with at present. Sort that out an' don't over worry 'bout us. Focus on what's important right now. If you need it... I will help you."

Hadyn fell silent. It was horribly awkward, extending help to a man like Orion who might easily bugger off at the very mention of assistance. But that was the only way she could see him moving forward. Prioritize. His toddler was the most pressing matter. Sure, her news wasn't exactly gaining her accolades with the man, but at least he knew what he was in for. And at least he seemed to have a mind to stay instead of abandoning her. That spoke volumes though he didn't seem to be in the mood for praise. Sitting back on her heels, the woman sighed, tired from all the emotional back and forth. It was his move now.

[Orion Michaels]

"Would you look at that," Orion said, turning his blue eyes to meet hers. "You're the one dealing with it the most, and here you are, consoling me. You confuse me, Hadyn. People confuse me." She was the one carrying the burden of a child, and yet she had to console him. What a powerful knight he would make, no? "When...when did you know? When..when will it come? How long do I have. Gods, Hadyn, ten days ago, I didn't even have to think about one. Now a little girl and another on the way." He turned in the chair to face Hadyn, an already broken expression touching his face.

"I should go. I won't be able to clear my head here. I've gotta figure out how to care for Emily. I've gotta figure out how to help you. It's not a very lavish life, that of a squire." He reached across his body, his hand resting for a moment on Hadyn's before giving a hopefully reassuring squeeze before guiding it off of his arm. "I've got a fair bit saved up, probably enough to care for her a year..year and a half. I don't know.."

Orion rose to his feet, offering his hand to Hadyn to help her stand. "Send me a letter again if you need me, I guess." She was a proud woman. He doubted very much she'd take him up on the request. He'd have to take a much more active role to do anything here, and that wasn't anything he knew how to do. His plate was overflowing, and she was understanding of it. It should have been a good thing, but it only made him feel cramped, claustrophobic, and irritable. "I can tell you're less than enthused to have to deal with me anymore than you are, so if you don't have anything else..." Orion glanced at the door, then back to her, eyes resting on her weary face, attractive as it was the day they met. The guilt came rushing in. He wouldn't run, but if she gave him the slightest window, he was gone.