39th of Fall, 513 AV
She knew not how the half-baked plan had been concocted, only that she would not stop until she saw it fully-baked. Idiot. Stupid idea did not even follow any sort of recipe, being born instead of a whim.
A gentle sigh escaped Edreina's lips as she, for the hundredth time, attempted to reach into her soul and extract the Djed existing there. The roiling ocean of her emotions lay between her and the nimbus of power, as always. Usually, she could still her mind to some degree and reach the warmth of the power and struggle long enough to pull it forth. But, not this time, it seemed. Despite how still her mind was, she was having trouble traversing the oceanscape. No matter how she moved, the glowing Djed at the center of her being came no closer.
There must be something I'm not doing right.
There is, you're not trying hard enough! Her mind hesitated, toiling over the thought. Think about it. Every other time you've attempted this, it has been with the will to learn and to grow with Razkar. Othertimes, you've done it nearly on accident because you felt it necessary. You don't have a drive to do it this time, you're just bored. And that was, sadly, very true. No matter how deep into herself she reached, it was a half-hearted attempt, just her trying to see if she could. The ability to use djed is a muscle like any other, she remembered reading in her book on Auristics, if you do not devote yourself to stretching and strengthening it, you will never grow.
Sighing to herself, she decided to commit herself to practicing in earnest. The caravan had stopped for a brief break, giving them time to water the animals and stretch their sore muscles. The redhaired Svefra had taken up a perch upon a rocky outcropping, allowing Jorven to graze while she continued a silly quest in vain. All around her, people were moving and talking and even laughing, animals lowed and the goods in the wagons clanked and clattered against one another. Perhaps the problem was that, this time, the dizzying cacophony was without instead of within.
Focus... she commanded herself quietly, closing her sky-colored eyes and pushing her thoughts into her breathing. A natural movement of air was so frequently overlooked, but it was the one constant rhythm in one's life. Each breath she counted, measured, and slowed further. Each cycle of breath became slower and more even as time went on. Finally, she heard only her own breathing and the subtle crush of grass between Jorven's wide teeth and the swish of his fleshy lips. Occasionally, he would flick his tail or whicker curiously up at his mistress, perhaps wondering why she was sitting so still. Every time, the young woman's concentration fell and each thought had to be regathered, re-bundled, and re-purposed.
So... close!
With one final thrust into her own soul, Edreina managed to slip her fingers into the stream of Djed flowing through her body. Though surely an eternity had come and gone in the time it took, finally she started to feel the warmth in her chest. Each breath felt like fire as rivulets of Djed began to seep into her lungs. The warming continued, filling her chest until she felt she was at a maximum, that it would soon burst forth and fill the area with a pale blue light. As if it were wet sand, Edreina started to drag the Djed up her throat, into her larynx. The process was slow-going and several times the sand-fortress's tower fell into a heap, forcing her to start over. It slipped and evaded her grasping fingers in a malicious way.
Finally, the fickle substance of self managed to cooperate just long enough for Edreina to pull it up onto her tongue, ready to...
To...
Petch.
She probably should have concocted a way to use the Djed before pulling it forth.
