Flashback Shattered Hopes

[Syveris]

30th of Summer, 513 AV

Syveris was walking in circles, her heart beating like crazy and her breath irregular. She couldn't make up her mind on whatever or not to tell him what she felt. She didn't know if what she was feeling was love, but she knew that she felt something, and this something was driving her crazy. Arin had been feeling her thoughts for quite a while, in fact, since the Djed storm. However, it had only been on the day before that she realized that this wasn't a normal thing.

She had seen the meteor shower last night, and the first thing that she did was to run to the Enclave and call Arin to watch it with her. When the man refused, she felt her heart sting, but she didn't thought much of it. Then, she had gone to Virat, and her mentor had happily agreed to watch it with her. It had been beautiful, but all the time she was standing there, the Avora had been thinking of Arin.

Virat noticed, of course, as he always did, and they had a long talk about what she was feeling. Her mentor had brought it to her attention, but it was still hard to believe.

Did she truly loved him? As something more, not only as a friend? Syveris bit her lip, throwing herself on the bed and screaming on her pillow. Why did it have to be so hard? It wasn't like she was fighting it. If she loved him, then she loved him. Simple. But the problem was, did she?

Rolling over her back, she faced the ceiling, and closed her eyes. Then, she pictured his face on her mind, the unruly red hair, the deep green eyes that were always cold, and the smile that sometimes seemed to play on his lips. Her whole body trembled, and she smiled to herself. The promise in his eyes, of something wonderful that she could discover if she dig deep enough, lured her in, even if it was only in her mind. Everything about him seemed so beautiful all the times, and no matter how much he annoyed her sometimes, Syveris always searched for him, wanting to talk or just be by his side.

Wasn't it love? First love, the stupid kind of love she always heard about and always sneered at when she was a Yasi. And now, when she became an Avora, she was feeling it. The irony made her giggle, although it wasn't exactly funny. But to know it, to allow the feeling to complete overcome her, was something wonderful.

But should she tell him? Syveris was a little anxious about this. What if he didn't shared her feelings? Then she would have opened her heart to him, and would receive nothing in return. No, that wasn't true. Every time she shared something with him, Arin would answer with one of his strange phrases, and it would make her feel better, even if she understood nothing of what the other said.

Syveris jumped out of bed, decided. She would tell him. Arin wouldn't mind, and even if he didn't return her feelings, he wouldn't stop talking to her. The Avora knew her friend, and she knew how he was, even if sometimes he said things that surprised her. So she was sure they would keep being friends, even if she shared this with him. There was no reason to be afraid.

x Abstract

[Syveris]

Humming the song that Arin had played for her on her last birthday, Syveris adjusted her clothes nervously and walked out of her room, her heart filled with happiness, and at the same time with anxiety. She was in love! Who would have guessed? Well, Virat did, but that wasn't the point. Giggling to herself, Syveris walked faster, wanting to reach his rooms as soon as she could. The Avora felt like a Yasi, but this was the first time she had felt something like that for someone, and she didn't care how stupid she looked right now. Arin wouldn't care, either.

She didn't understood why she was happy like that, but she was, and she didn't care for the reason. Maybe it was the hope she was feeling, hope that they would be together and share wonderful moments from now on. Syveris knew that she would sure love that, even before realizing she was in love.

The thought still felt weird, but she didn't care.

When she finally got to a point in the Inner Warrens near the door leading to Arin's room, she stopped, trying to stabilize her breath. Everything was so new to her, the feelings that fulfilled her whole being, that she could barely stand quietly in one place. But she needed to calm down. It would be ridiculous for her to rush in and start babbling nonsense that even Arin wouldn't understand.

However, before she could move again, the door of his room opened, and he stepped in the Warrens. Syveris eyes widened and she felt the world spin when she saw that there was someone with him.

The woman was petite, with a curvy frame, and fierce red hair, just like Arin's. It fell on soft curls over her shoulders, and it framed a small face with golden eyes. Even at the distance she was at, the woman looked beautiful, and the thought that she was inside Arin's room, a place where Syveris had been forbidden to enter for the three years that she had known him, made her throat dry.

And then, she giggled, an adorable and nasty giggle, and Arin curved down to kiss her lips. That wasn't enough, apparently, as the woman then murmured something in his ear, in a quite intimate way, and the Avora could see Arin smiling at her. A shot of jealousy ran through her body, and Syveris clenched her hands. Well, a lot of Inartans had multiple partners, she could share, couldn't she?

That wasn't the problem, though. The problem was that this woman, someone she had never seen in her whole life, had just got out of his room, and made him smile. Syveris had never been allowed in there, and it usually took a lot of effort for her being able to make him smile like that at her. So why this woman had it all so easy? The Avora felt dejected, sad that she wasn't nearly as special as she thought she was. Clearly, this woman was way better than her.

She wanted to cry, but she wouldn't do that, standing only a few foot from the couple. Hastly, she turned around, but the movement made her trip, and she stomped the ground loudly trying not to fall. It worked, but the sound of her boots on the ground had been way too loud, and she was afraid that they both had heard her.

x Abstract

[Syveris]

Syveris felt her face heat, and sent a glance over her shoulder to see if the other two had seen her. They had. Tears of embarrassement filled her eyes, but she fought back, not wanting them to fall. It would look like she was sneaking on them, trying to hear what they were saying. Arin hated that. She bit her lip, and turned slowly, glaring at the woman with hate and jealousy, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks, and the embarrassed feeling that consumed her. She felt stupid, and this was the last thing she wanted to feel in front of Arin. She glared some more at the woman, blaming her for everything.

It wasn't exactly her fault, the Avora knew that, but she couldn't help but wish she was just as beautiful as this woman, with the same fierce red hair and beautiful curls, instead of soft shade and boring straightness. Even the other eyes seemed to glow with an ethereal light, something she was sure she did not possess. And then, the woman's body... Syveris felt ashamed of her own curveless one. Normally, she wouldn't compare her appearance to others, but Arin probably did, and he had chosen the other. Or maybe she was just way more pleasant than her. It wasn't that hard, after all. Syveris still had some moments where she would say just the wrong thing.

The woman looked at her with something that looked like pity, and Syveris hated her even more. The Avora turned her eyes to Arin, and what she saw just made her even sadder. Like always, his eyes were cold, and his face, expressionless. Not even in this situation he would spare her anything else than the same look.

"I'll be going, then." the woman announced, patting Arin on the back, way too friendly for Syveris liking. The Avora wished the other would just go away already. "The meteor shower was very beautiful, thanks for taking me."

As the woman walked away, Syveris stared at Arin's face, with disbelief. Had she heard right? He wouldn't go watch the meteor shower with her, but would do that with that woman? Her eyes teared up, and she felt like she would soon loose control of her emotions. When the woman turned in the corner, Arin's eyes focused on her. Syveris waited, for an explanation, for anything, but nothing came. She should have known.

"Why?" the question was simple, and too generic for Arin to answer, but she couldn't elaborate more on it. She just needed to know. Syveris would believe anything. If he said he had promised the other to spend the night together, she would believe, if he invited her to his room, her jealousy would go away. It wouldn't take for her to forget everything.

"Why?" he repeated the question, and Syveris was surprised. It was the first time he had done it. "Why do you ask? Do you think I should be yours, only?" It hurt. The voice was curious, nothing different, and the question itself was just cruel. Syveris felt the tears fall from her eyes, not even wanting to fight back anymore.

"I see..." she murmured, and turned around, running away from him. No, she didn't think he should be only hers. But for a long time Syveris had thought she was special to him, at least a little. When he had played her a song, only for her, she had felt unique. When he had given her a small feather, not the blue one he carried around on his flute, but a present still, she had thought that maybe she was different from the others. But she was mistaken. Arin did not find her special. He didn't even cared enough to offer an explanation as to why he hadn't watched the meteors with her, or as to why the woman could enter in his room when she couldn't.

Syveris sobbed, the tears falling from her already red eyes. She had been stupid, to feed the hope that they could be in a relationship even deeper than friendship. The Avora wished she had never figured out her feelings. That way, she would have stayed in her room, and would keep on believing that their friendship had some special meaning.

She closed the door behind her, throwing herself on the bed and closing her eyes. She just wanted to forget everything, to sleep and welcome the blissful dreamland, where she wouldn't have to deal with all the feelings that were boiling inside her, threatening to escape.

x Abstract

[Harrier]

Skills	Amount
Observation	3

Lore

True feelings for Arin

Virat explains what love feels like

Unable to make Arin smile

First love; first heartbreak

Bonus:

Additional Comments: Really very little I can award for skills here since it was a very emotional thread that wasn't focused on skills.

(c) abstract