Closed Dinner with the Windchasers

[Fallan Windchaser]

As he looked around him, all seemed to be taking on the vague sharpness of a dream. Too much had been said and too quickly for him to take in. Events that shaped lives had unfolded far too quickly and the ramifications were far too great for him to even begin to grasp the edges of them.

His smile was genuine as he inclined his head to Adelia in response to her congratulations, his right hand clutching at his heart as he did so to express the sincerity of his gratitude. He pulled Tay tighter to him once his hand was no longer occupied for her presence reassured him now that he began to have hope kindled in his heart once more, but also because he had not missed the sarcasm.

So far his mother had been still, for which he was grateful but he quickly perceived that Adelia was forestalling her and if the questions were nearly as painful at least he could assume that they were honestly asked.

He closed his eyes for a moment, breaking the contact that he had made with hers, nodding his head in acceptance of the truth of what she said. These were questions without answers, this he knew instinctively for she asked how they could trust him when he had never been trustworthy. Whatever words he chose, none of them would satisfy them for he had ever been ready with excuses and promises which were easier to make than to keep.

Now he regretted truly this moment and his impulsive choices which had created it. But there was no more running away from it than there was avoiding the answers for that running was exactly what she accused him of and that he wished to do exactly that was damning, damning enough that even he could see it.

He breathed deeply and shook his head before opening his eyes, retaining his grip on Tay as though she were a bulwark behind which he mounted his defence.

"You speak well Adelia," he said softly his eyes on her, avoiding the others which watched him and the judgements which were likely in their eyes.

"I have never given the family reason to trust me. No words that I can speak here, no oaths that I could give would answer you for your words are laid heavy by the truth." He sighed.

"Yet, whilst there is truth there, it is not the whole truth. Yes, I placed my own wishes before those of the family, I would not attempt to deny it. Never before have I had a partner nor a child. This is different to me. Stormdancer has never known lack of care from me, never have I shirked my responsibilities to her. There are great challenges ahead of us and I have allowed Fall to pass me by."

His own admission, driven from him by her question, undermined the truth of what he claimed, but he could not answer her in any way that would satisfy what she asked of him.

[Taylani]

Taylani did not try and pull back from him, instead when he pulled her tighter against him she settled herself against him bewildered a little by the words that are passing over her. She did not understand the Pavi that his sister spoke, his father apparently allowing the siblings to work out what ever they were saying between them without including her. However she did see the flat glint in Adelia's eyes, and had no clue as to what had caused it.

It seemed the family themselves were of mixed feelings, and a tremble passes through her but she simply stiffens her spine and faced them in silence. Her arm snaked around Fallan so that she held him as much as he held her, seeking the comfort of his strength even as she tried hard to hide her own confusion.

Adelia simply quirked a brow up at her brother, cocking her head before nodding. "Very well little Brother." She says, her hands moving with less force, though the reserved motions spoke volumes on the fact that she believed what he said still remained to be seen. "Just remember that we had each other to take up the responsibilities that you left behind. You have left her with a your child in her belly among people she can't understand and vulnerable. The stakes a little higher this time should you get itchy feet."

That said, she finally stood and faced the pair, and for the first time in the dinner she gave them a bright smile. Her words have been spoken, she had cautioned Fallan and she is not one to hold grudges. She could grow to like Taylani, maybe even to love her as a sister in law if Taylani would manage to drop the prickliness that had been her demeanor all season. Of course the Windchaser's would soon be departing from Endrykas, and it remained to be seen if Fallan was going to come with his family or if he was going to stay in the City with his woman.

She stepped closer, one hand reached out to rest on Taylani's shoulder. The red head did not pull away, though she did press just a little closer to Fallan. "Taylani. You make good Drykas one day." Adelia said in her broken common. It was all she said, perhaps she felt she had said enough.

[Fallan Windchaser]

Fallan was left with mixed feelings from the exchange and her last comments were particularly cutting for they ripped free the scabs that covered the guilt inflicted wounds on his soul. He made no comment on the things that she said, bowing his head in acknowledgement, but none who knew him could have missed the way that his expression had closed or how his teeth had gritted together.

He would wonder later what effect she had intended with her words and if she were now proving that she had inherited more from their mother than Fallan had previously guessed. This had been intended, in some way, no matter how twisted as some form of confession to his family, of bearing his soul to them and Adelia had chosen to use it to slip a blade through his open guard. What little connection he had grown to feel once more with his family now tore free. Should she prove to be right and Fallan could not bear the responsibilities he had chosen to accept then he would rather that he deliver Tay back to Syliras and take his chances with the Knights than he would leave her with them.

For all that Adelia did not hold grudges, the same could not be said of Fallan who felt the hurt all the more keenly for he knew that he deserved it but neither could he accept that so easily. He returned the smile that Adelia gave them but it did so only on the mask that covered the shields that he had erected over his heart. Now he recalled why he had left in the first place and for the first time since his return did he feel the desire to abandon the ties which had drawn him back.

When he had started speaking at first Fallans heart had been bleak and armoured, yet that armour had been breached by the hope that Tay had given him and now he felt the pain much more clearly than he had. He had no desire to be castigated by any of the others so he bowed to his father and mother and caught the eye of the few that wished to, before turning towards the sanctuary of that space which was theirs.

"Come," he spoke softly in Pavi to Tay, guiding her if she would come with him, eager to have some privacy where he could avoid the eyes which judged him.

[Taylani]

She was utterly confused by the entire exchange. She couldn't say she knew Fallan extremely well, that was something she was hoping to remedy obviously, but she could tell that his mood darkened when Adelia spoke. Pressed against him she could feel his muscle tighten ever so slightly, and having looked up at him she could see his jaw clenching.

Yet she was smart enough to hold her tongue, nodding and avoiding looking at any of his family in the eye when he bid her to come. She did hesitate only because she knew that cleaning up after dinner was something that she would usually help with but at this moment it seemed more important at the moment to follow him. Through the pavilion the moved without speaking, slipping behind the partition that provided at least some privacy.

Once safely away from prying eyes, Taylani turned toward him still standing very close so that she could look him in the eye. Her hands rose and gently cupped his face between them, "Fallan?" She questioned quietly, trying to keep her voice hushed for added privacy. "They, she wasn't happy was she?"

"None of them were then." This last was simply a statement, her thumbs stroked the line of his jaw, trying to comfort more then anything else. "What was she saying?"

[Fallan Windchaser]

It was a relief when they finally had some privacy and he could allow the guards to drop at least a little. He had forgotten how hard it was to meet the expectations of the family. Even though family might be more forgiving of things than strangers, the expectations were also higher.

The concern on her face was obvious and it took away his concentration on his inner demons so that he relaxed once more, a slight smile curving his lips within the constraints of her hands. He reached up with his right hand and pulled her hand away enough for him to kiss the palm and the he held it with his own, shaking his head slightly.

"Not happy, true. Adelia speak for them." He smiled softly at her, tilting his head as he saw her anew.

"Adelia not happy with Fallan. Family not trust Fallan." He sighed and wondered how to put the raw emotions in his head into something that was not coloured by his own views but was honest enough that if she were to ask Adelia then she might receive the same answer.

"Family worry Fallan not look after Tay. Family remember Fallan left responsibility behind. Fallan travel Sylira, not stay family. Family think Fallan leave Tay."

It was a somewhat unexpected turn of events and one that he had certainly not expected this day. Of all the things that he had prepared for in his mind since that conversation out in the grasslands, this had never featured. When he had needed the support of his family they had chosen instead to remind him of his failings and question his commitment. Resentment burned hotter in his heart once more and he struggled to quench it and clear the thoughts from his face.

"Family not know Fallan heart. Fallan think time soon leave family, be with Tay." He attempted to put the smile back on his face, which wasn't so hard when he could turn his thoughts outwards and instead consider the woman in front of him for whom he blessed once more Zulrav for bringing her across the plains to him.

[Taylani]

An exhale was given and a gentle shiver when his hand brought her palm to his lips, her fingers curled over his when he kept a hold of the hand in his. She felt a little freer now, as if she didn't have to always be on guard, didn't have to always just..fight..every feeling and sensation. Her hand that was not held by his slipped a little further, cupping around the back of his neck, she didn't quite settle against him because she still wanted to see his face, and his eyes when he spoke.

His words did cause a spike of hurt within her, not from him but from his family. Of course they weren't happy, and she hadn't truly believed that they would accept a captive her babe had she? Yet he continued, and the hurt turned to confusion and there was a spike of fear that she couldn't help. The fear lasted only mere seconds, the instinctive fear of an expectant mother ...especially if that self-same woman was in an unknown environment was all it was. Even Taylani, in her naivete' recognized that and allowed that first spike of uncertainty drift away. No, she did not fear that he would leave her alone, not after braving the storm for her.

Yet there was a little heat in her heart as that fear turned to anger. Anger that his family hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt, anger that his family discounted her own abilities and had apparently continued to lump her into being something of his to tend to. Mostly though it was surprisingly anger that they caused him this ...darkness that showed in his eyes as he spoke.

"Tay can take care of herself." She said softly, but tempering her words with a smile..one that was rueful at least a little, "Well, I will be able to ...eventually. It is not just about you taking care of me Fallan. It is about us..taking care of each other...and the child."

[Fallan Windchaser]

Her words were few but each of them counted in far greater proportion than their numbers might have implied. They were enough to allow him to relax and to put aside the anger that had grown in his heart for she spoke truth that he had been overlooking.

She was close enough to him that he could feel the warmth and comfort of her body and her eyes had not avoided his while she spoke. He smiled at her with a warmth that reflected the melting of the ice in his heart and he nodded softly. He had a family it was true where she did not and there were rifts and old wounds there, but the truth was also that he had a new family too and one where hurts were not yet healed and scabbed over but ones which still might be put right and where no instinctive responses had yet formed that avoided all need for thought.

But the greater realisation was that he had been discounting her in his heart. Too long had he attempted to be self reliant and his assumptions back out there had been that it was entirely his responsibility to teach her and to care for her. But she was not a child and he knew just how much she could do for herself. Not only could he trust her to take care of herself, there was also the novel concept that she might take care of him too.

The latter was something about which he was not yet ready to accept in all of it's implications, but the very thought was enough to change his very perceptions about how life might play out going forward.

"Tay speak truth that warm heart." He leant forward to kiss her forehead and to hold her more tightly. "Tay and Fallan make new future together." The touch was enough to loosen off the tension which had been held inside him and which he hadn't even realised that he'd been holding so his breathing came easier and more relaxed while his face and body relaxed, ready to face what the future might hold with someone by his side.

[Taylani]

His lips against her brow, was such a familiar sensation for how many times has he laid his lips there in a caress? Too many for Taylani to have kept count, sometimes the touch invoked a feeling of belonging, other times a feeling of being controlled. Too often it made her feel as if he were reminding her to whom she belonged, rarely did leave her feeling less then confused. However this time she exhaled a small sigh of relief when he pressed his lips to her brow, letting his warmth to envelope her.

A new future, it was easier said then done however in this moment she allowed her mind to brush free of all doubts and fears. To simply step closer, to bury herself in his arms and allow herself to feel his feelings that he had spoken of. Tomorrow will be soon enough to pick apart her hatred of his culture, soon enough to start trying to reconcile the fact that he was that culture, as would be her child.

Today though was theirs, theirs to begin to rebuild that foundation that had to be ripped out in their relationship. To start on equal footing. She knew for that to work she would have to begin to feel safe and protected rather then vulnerable and weak. She was not ready to declare her feelings, not just yet. Instead she decided to simply take what he offered and offer what she could.

Her fingers sift through the hair at the back of his neck, her body curving to fit against his tightly, holding him just as tightly as he held her. Perhaps this was the reason that when she spoke, her words were neither hesitant nor fearful, "You said you felt it was time to leave your family. They have been planning to head back where ever they stay in the Winter and spring..does this mean we will be staying here in Endrykas?"

[Fallan Windchaser]

The delicate scent of her hair filled his nostrils as he held her closely, the warmth of her firm body encompassing the whole of his universe for just a small moment, but one that was all that he cared for.

He shivered softly in pleasure at the light touch of her fingers on his neck and wished that the moment could last. It took an effort to refocus on the question that she had raised and to bring his mind back to thoughts of family, seasons and the city as a whole.

"Windchaser herd run border of Syrila," he answered, pitching his words low and quietly mainly to avoid breaking the moment with conversation. Though they stood he used the tone he would have done were they lying together in that moment when tensions had been released and where the two were still one.

"Run South Fall with city. Winter here South, sometimes follow City few weeks, trade desert tribes, depends route of Run. " He realised that she probably wouldn't know too much of the Run, so he explained. "City follow path every year." His words paused for now he walked over the line of what a stranger might be told. Whilst he no longer considered her as such but then neither was she Drykas in her heart. Still this was no real secret. "This year City move away from Eyktol, Windchasers not stay. " He didn't consider the knowledge to be valuable to a stranger and shrugged the concern off.

His comment had been something of a passing one, but she was right, their time with the family was coming to a close and it would soon be time to strike out on their own. He nodded, "yes, stay with City. Not ready yet live in Sea of Grass, easier in City with pregnant Tay." The latter image brought a broader smile to his face, that she would have his child and he brushed aside all of the concerns that the thought brought.

[Taylani]

Pressed so tightly against him, Taylani felt the shiver that ran through his body and for just split second she was confused as to it's origins. Yet when he spoke, casting his voice low in her ear and an answering shiver from her body is given that confusion cleared up. Taylani couldn't help but give a gentle grin, though he couldn't see with the way she was being held by him. Experimentally, enjoying the sense of power that shiver had given her, she let the tips of her fingers glide another pass across his neck, dipping downward to slip beneath the fabric of his collar.

Yet, though she playfully teased him with her touch testing his reactions, she does listen to his words. She had only ever been outside of the Syliras walls once before her expulsion, and that was simply on an ill-advised excursion to the bronze wood. She had no concept of miles and distance, for her all of the cities were simply distant lands, except over the last season she had started to learn just how big the world was. Just how incredibly wide and spacious, and the thought both terrified her and exhilarated her at the same time.

When he spoke of staying in the City, Taylani nodded against him, the amethyst beads that his sister Adelia had carefully woven in her hair blinking amid the red braided strands. She had thought that accepting that Drykas custom would make his family be more receptive of their news, a custom that she had completely rejected for much of her stay here. Yet it did not seem to have worked, and his family had troubled him. It saddened her that she seemed to be the cause of dissension in his family but not so saddened that she could not push it aside to enjoy this moment.

"It will be nice to have some privacy." She said just as quietly as he spoke, she did not add again because there was little if anything nice about the privacy they had experienced before his family re-entered the Tent City. She wanted to speak of her reservations on being alone out here pregnant without another female. She was slowly starting to realize why it was that pregnant women flocked together in the city. Older ones assuring the younger ones that all that was changing and expanding about their bodies was perfectly normal. However, it didn't seem as if his mother or his sister would be inclined to share nuggets of wisdom, judging on Adelia's apparent reaction.

So she didn't speak on it, instead she pulled back just enough to be able to tip her head up and look him once more in the eye. The hand that was still encased in his squeezed, and she made a concerted effort to smile brightly to push the darker thoughts of their future aside and to focus only on the brighter ones. The ones that had started within this pavilion,