Past the Vanishing Point (Amireh)

[Panna Cotta]

What does the Void feel like? It feels like it would suck everything and anything. It was the end of misery, the start of depression. What is the Void like? It was nothing, black and desolate and cold. It was quiet. Quiet as the end of all things. Quiet as death.

Amireh found herself slipping into the portal, the great Pull tumbling her upside down. Feet first she entered the Void, while her head was anchored by an unseen force. Aelobius was controlling the Pull, showing her how powerful he was. He was toying with her and her haughtiness. Oh, did he find great delight in making her suffer for her insolence! "Amireh," His eyes round and gawking, his lips curved and smile mocking, "Is that the best you have?"

"Pathetic defenseless shyke you are."

The emptiness was creeping on her skin, the cold numbing her bones. She was waist-deep into the vast nothingness. Flailing or trashing about would only push her into the bottomless pit of doom.

Was Amireh as useless as Aelobius claimed? All talk and no show, he said. She could think the Master was mistaken, say the Master was mistaken, but so far, she had not proved the Master was mistaken. But then again, putting words and thoughts into action was always a difficult thing to do, especially if half your body was deep into the void and the rest of it was about to get sucked in. Poor, poor Amireh, not even bothering to lift a finger to defend herself.

[Amireh]

Pathetic? Maybe. Shyke? No doubt. Defenseless? Not quite. She had never entered the void before. There was a peace in the nothingness. There, beyond, lay a realm of black, of no material giving, no struggle or death, no life. Just nothing. The sweetness of the realm called to her. Her skin prickled with delight at the touch of something so foreign and powerful. Aleobius meant nothing. She meant nothing. Her death was nothing. With all his torture, all his power, the Nuit only abused what he learned, yet there was so much more here. She wondered if he had ever touched the very opposite of their existence. For a moment, just one, she considered allowing herself to slip. To fall. To be lost to the nothing of the void once and for all. But there was much to do yet. She was no longer in her body. Again, she watched from some outside world, her body pulled and torn between life and death, wracked with unyielding pain that threatened to destroy her very soul. She knew where her limits lie and she was no great sorceress, no Valterrian mage, but she knew how to break those limits. If it meant life than so be it. I am nothing. The phrase echoed across her mind. The hallow, meaningless sentence seared through the pain like a blazing sword, cutting a swath of destruction in its wake. Her body still burned, it ached, every muscle twitched in convulsion. Yet there was clarity. She felt energy move through. Slowly, as Amireh descended into the sweetness of the Void the Djed energies coursed through her body; arms, legs, breast. A ripple of ecstasy pierced senses, mixing with the howling pain in a sickening mixture of misery and pleasure. And there were voices. The spoke to her through whispers, tens, maybe hundreds, all of them spoke at once. They told her to draw more. They wanted her to enact her fury. They urged her, and Amireh listened. Coursing rage swept into her hands - that which remained on this side of existence - and Amireh pulled every piece of her being into the summons; a plea for help, for power. When her eyes opened they were fierce. Red with blood, she bled from her nose, sockets, but the pain no longer mattered. To her there was only silence before another portal erupted into existence. Fueled by the very force of her life itself, Amireh drove everything she had into its creation. A portal the size of a man, one focused on nothing more than a sheer presence of Pull, ripped through creation behind Aelobious, the massive force centered on the Voider with a reckless abandon. Amireh could feel her body coming apart. The pain returned, but the voices insisted. Keep going they said. He must suffer. He must not win. A best defense was a good offense, after all. And she obliged the philosophy. While her body remained still as death Amireh kept the portal alive, feeding it with all the Djed her body could sustain. Soon she would falter, she knew, but she was not defenseless.

[Panna Cotta]

The mad laugh of Aelobius resounded in the room. Was he unaffected by Amireh's power? It happened so fast, but the stretch of those few chimes would be forever etched in Amireh's soul. Aelobius, having gone through a fair share of combat magic in his time, did not even suffer a simple tug of Amireh's Void. He was quick to open his own Void portal and in a snap went through it. It would appear as if the madman ran away. Perhaps to meet Amireh in a Void portal of his own making?

Her own vacuum stood still in the middle of the room, pulsating, vibrating. It was a testimony to her ability, to her dedication. "You have my attention, Amireh." The Voider's voice echoed from a distance, so near yet so far. Quietly, two other portals opened. One spread its mouth over Amireh's own portal, engulfing it, taking along a few things into the cold darkness. Another blinked out from a good distance away from her, and out stepped Aelobius, unfazed and laughing. He was clapping, his condescending stare nailed on the human. "Apparently you can perform decently, even if you have to bleed to death to do it." Another mocking laugh. Her best showmanship has been eaten by a monstrous Void. Portal against a portal.

Then she felt it. A release so fast, yet in her mind it was the gentlest emancipation. The whispers were singing to her, a melancholy in the pit of her stomach - there were no butterflies, only a void in her own soul. She was almost dead, she knew it. The cold has crept over her whole body, strangulating her, feeding on her. Amireh suffered the unbearable pain of nothing! She drowned into Void. Her body was certainly pushed to its physical limit, her soul into emptiness. Into the void she fell, whole body and soul. Aelobius' voice repeating in her head, though she will not remember the words anymore.

What was the Void like? To which Amireh would always answer later, "The Void is the price one pays for weakness, for ugliness." What does the void feels like? "It feels like," Amireh would always recall later, "the dark emptiness between serenity and death." What is in the Void? "Everything and nothing."

She would always remember how, in the last few moments of dancing with Dira, Aelobius gave her reprieve. The psychotic man thought better of her, and decided that perhaps, the little dirty-blood might actually be worth something. And slowly, she was fished out of the closing hole, her exhausted chilled body sliding out of the place where there was no gravity. The pull of the vortex was gone, she was free to escape. And escape she did, together with an unknown monster.

The portal had been open long enough to attract one of the Void's residents. It was beyond time itself, a monstrosity banished from Mizahar a long time ago. Just as Amireh exited the Void, a sudden vibration caught her right arm. It was sudden, but the human was already in a state of shock, that she did not care notice anything beyond the freezing stun all over her body. The fiend slashed at her arm, long sharp finger blades clamping and piercing her skin.

Amireh would not notice, not until she felt the tug of the beast - pulling her back, desperately pulling itself out of the Void. "That is a nasty ugly thing you have latched on you." Aelobius stuck out his tongue in disgust. He folded his arms and waved a hand. Most of the poor apprentice's body was already back in Aelobius' office, except for her arm. The Void was closing, it seemed like one of her limbs was not coming back with her. It was badly sliced just below the elbows, the flesh rasped, her blood squirting out into the void like a mist. "Oh would you look at that," Aelobius murmured. The astonishment of seeing her broken arm was the last trauma that hit Amireh. She fell onto the floor, flat as a pancake, soul torn and arm profusely bleeding. Aelobius left his test subject, he had already given her a chance to live. If she would not survive, then she was not fit to become his apprentice. Damned, if she lived; damned if she didn't.

[Amireh]

Had she known her power did nothing Amireh might have persisted. She could have tried harder, funneled more energy, done any number of things to assail her would-be murderer, but there was nothing left. Voices took her from all around. Those in her head screamed at her to continue, to draw more, summon portals large as a ship, send the island into oblivion. Another sound cooed softly in her ears, sinister in tone, bereft of anything that could be called human. Then there was silence. She was dying, dead perhaps, and yet again she watched from outside herself, body suspended half between reality and nowhere. Slowly her torso sunk into the vastness of the void until she was submerged. Few can say they have died. Nuits perhaps, but their deaths were inconsistent. Hardly final. Could those same few say that they died inside the void? The other side held its own form of darkness. It was foreign, intangible, incapable of comprehension from one that thought with logic. It was everything and nothing. A simultaneous contradiction that dwarfed any reality that came before it. The Void. Amireh's eyes were open. Clear, crystal blue shifted to a vibrant, deep green as her gaze shifted across the vastness of space. There truly was nothing. Her body froze, she felt, and the pain ceased. Breath drew out of her lungs and she was left to hang, to wait, to die in the depths of a bleak vastness, an empty world where no one care, where there was no to care. It fit, she thought, how wonderful this emptiness was. Here where there was nothing to love. Nothing to hate. For once her mind was clear. For what did one contemplate when faced with the ultimate end? Her lips parted in a violent gasp. All at once her senses returned to her and Amireh was back, reality gripping at her very limbs. Literally. She felt the pull of something strong, something cold, something ancient. The voices returned and the woman's eyes crossed, incapable of processing the multitudinous information all at once. Her body complained, ached, convulsed, then hit the ground with a sickening snap. It felt like a piece of herself was missing. Beaten and broken, turn and sundered, Amireh lay on the floor of Aelobius' office, blood spilling out from the recent wound that took her arm. What was more pain? In an almost peaceful manner the woman remained still, every ounce of her being incapacitated in one way or another. Screw his bells. She would last a lifetime.

[Panna Cotta]

Blue. The color of the sea. Deep, dark, and luscious. The light casts a lustrous green over everything. The sounds would come to her first, a song.

The Dirge of Amaryllis

When all that my heart stands for is gone
I shall lay my soul not to anyone
For you alone have forsaken me
And in my sorrow I shall weep and you shall see

When all that my heart believes in is gone
I shall bare my soul not to anyone
For you alone have the power over me
And in the night I'll scream in joy and misery

Why have you, you who are all that my heart is for
Leave me here all alone with nothing to live for
The pain this feeling brings, you cannot imagine
But I cannot refuse your power over me

The scent of embalming fluid would intrude her nostrils next. It was not death or decay or rot. It was a mix of a sour scent, lemons mixed with something minty. Her voice would come next, "Oh, finally. I was worried you'll be down much much longer. I win a bet against him." Amireh would open her eyes to the blue theme of Amaryllis' decadent room. Doesn't look like Sahova, no, not at all. Exquisite fabric was draped all over the room. "You lost an arm, you know, and that is actually lucky for you." She would feel a cold hand caressing her face. "The most beautiful I have seen in a long time," Amaryllis said, but was referring to her injury and not to Amireh, "Aelobius must have had the Void cut you, didn't he? Almost a clean graze, if not for the bits of flesh hanging around." Amireh would slowly feel life coming back to her. She may recall what happened, and how it all happened so fast.

Amaryllis' voice would bring her back from her reverie, "It is a pleasure to do something other than constantly inject embalming fluid onto dead bodies." Amaryllis flipped her hair. "You've been knocked out pretty long, it's now the 53rd of summer. It's been a nightmare trying to feed you, as your body needed sustenance." The woman sighed, "If it weren't for the challenge I wouldn't have kept you this long." She assisted Amireh and helped the young girl sit up. "It would take some getting used to, but I'm sure you'd still be able to live. You've gone this far, couldn't see why not."

As if on cue, the Nuit explained to Amireh, "You were brought here by one of our golems. You were on the verge of death. Apprentices dying, getting killed on purpose or suffering brutal accidents, it's normal around here. A corpse is a corpse so we collect them and embalm them, reserve them for later use. When I saw you, you were pale as porcelain. Thought you would die, but your faint pulse never gave up." Amaryllis chuckled, "So I said to myself, what if I saved someone from death for a change? I had to feed you intravenously, and work on your injury. It was tough, but it was a good change of pace. I enjoyed taking care of you. Sent word to Aelobius you're still alive, and we had a bet if you'll manage to live. 'Course he said you'd die, but here you are, so if you want to prove him I won our bet or get another limb voided, you can return to him."

[Amireh]

Dreams. So many dreams. Fevered, hateful cries for revenge, sad dirges to the dead. She could not understand it all. There were moments of consciousness, moments of pain. Phantoms danced above her eyes, ever-shifting colors of misery and strife. The void. It haunted her nightmares. That cold nothing. The absolute lack of existence. It was more than darkness. Within the night there was comfort, there was peace, one knew that the sun would rise again, but not there. Not in the vast, eternal emptiness. She saw it again and again. The portal to knowledge, to death. A face appeared within, the insane psychotic ramblings of an ages old wizard. Her tormentor. The very source of her soul's intimate hatred. Aelobius. Her master. She had won. She would not die now, not after that, not after losing her very self to that bastard's whims. So she persevered. Amireh knew she was fading, knew she was dying, but she would not let herself go. Vengeance kept her strong. Hatred. With an ironclad grip she wove herself around the idea, the very concept of revenge. It bound her in its will. Passion, that was all that remained. She would survive to find a way and then he would suffer as she did. Beauty was a strange thing. After so long all she could think of was her hatred, but that song, the melody. What was that? Consciousness gripped her mind. Softly, eyes of blue fluttered open to a queer sight and an odd, familiar smell. She could not remember it, but her nose knew it, much as she knew the foreign touch. Her body responded. And the voice. Through her haze Amireh was able to make out a few of the words from a soft, sweet chime. Who was this woman she knew so well? Ice brushed her cheek. It felt nice. Unconsciously, she pushed her chin into the caress, welcoming the contact. This woman was good. She took care of Amireh. How did she know that? The room came next, it's glorious fabrics and warm embrace something the girl did not expect. More words. Aelobius? A face appeared in her mind. The hatred came with it. For a brief moment her irises flashed yellow, overtaken by rage and anguish. No. Not here. They faded back to their original color in moments, the words of her savior drifting over her mind once more. "Summer." Amireh said, her voice calm, low. Was that who she was? Something felt different. Had the void done something to her? Memories drifted back into her mind like a trickle, slow, but constant. She glanced aside to the Nuit as she continued speaking. She won? Did they both win? The Nuit moved her and Amireh complied. For some reason her left arm would not respond. Strange. What was wrong with it? Ugh, it itched. Why would she not be able to live? The words from her caretaker were confusing. Golems, dying, injury? Her arm. With a glance she found herself ignoring Amaryllis, her focus instead shifting to what was no longer there. Gone. More memories. The Voider stood over her, laughing, amused, satisfied. She had felt that cold nothingness. "I am alive." Amireh spoke again, color returning to her voice with that light, yet somehow diminished, soprano. She was not surprised by the lack of her limb. She knew it was gone, somehow, just as she knew this woman here. "I. Thank you. I do not know your name." Her gaze flickered up to the Nuit, soft, but torn eyes staring into the woman's countenance. There was a richness of passion there, most of it sick with hatred. "It has been a long time? Yes. Help me stand?" Amireh leaned against the woman and shifted her torso, her legs shifting off the bed and onto the ground. The cold ground beneath was stiff on her toes. It felt good. She pushed, shaking, with one arm, and came to a wobbling stand. Her muscles complained, but she would not let them stop her. So far as clothing was concerned Amireh did not seem trouble by the state of her fashion. There were far more important issues to assail.

[Panna Cotta]

"Yes dear, you are alive." Amaryllis stared at her fondly. The Nuit did not blink, nor register too much an emotion, but the concern was folded within her words, "They call me Amaryllis, and I am the Chief Embalmer of Sahova. I took care of you when everything else dictated that you were going to die. Why, it gave me a breathe of fresh inspiration! And you fought your way to stay alive. That's not something I see every day." Especially considering that Amaryllis would be, give or take, a few centuries old.

Her so-called savior barely moved, and the shake of the head was more than enough to emphasize what was obvious. "You have a strong pulse again..." a little unsure, "at this state you are stronger than I am." The Nuit watched her with envious eyes. "I would give up any limb, two or all, if I could have your beauty. So fresh and alive."

She continued, "But," and seemed to consider against it before giving in eventually, "let us try. Try to get you up your feet." There was a little shuffling, and further examination from Amaryllis. The Nuit offered little aid in terms of support, and Amireh had a feeling that the wrong kind of pressure on her companion would break skin or bones. There was a lingering ache, but instead of spiking pain there was only something dull and deadened.

Amireh got up, but was slightly unfamiliar how to balance herself. An arm was an arm, and once incomplete...

"I am not good with pulsers, and I won't say that I think you are already well. You are ready as you are." She was somewhat kind, but borderline suspicious, "The question is what you want to do with your life after this. It should be obvious not many get a second chance at life like you do. Now for my payment..."

"Ah, I must not impose something upon you. At least not yet." She watched the human curiously, eyes examining her posture. The lost arm added spunk in the young woman. "You have money. I went through your things. Sahova can provide you with a fake limb," she pointed at Amireh's missing forearm, "but only if you want to. It's not obvious, but aside from golems and magic books, we do export other... useful things."

[Amireh]

Amireh wobbled. She did not expect balancing to be so difficult, but then she had possessed a left arm her entire life. To be without such a thing was unusual. She remained cognizant of her caretaker's inability to assist and so she leaned forward. Too far. Her single arm lashed out for something to grab, but to no avail as she went sailing forward, her body collapsing in a heap of itself onto the floor. Ugh. She lay there for a few moments, her mind wrapping around the events as they passed. She played them out. What went wrong? Don't lean. A gruff grunt accompanied her legs as they folded in, her singular palm laid flat against the stone and used to push herself up. The strain was almost unbearable. She started to sweat, her muscles rebelling with a sharp, prickling pain. And yet managed to sit up. The problem came not only from the missing limb but her muscles, apparently, those that refused to cooperate. "If I die," Amireh spoke between hagged breaths. Just getting to her knees was an exercise. "You can have my body. Remaining limbs and all." Leaning forward, she placed an arm on the floor and set one leg out, using the odd triangle-like pose to keep herself steady. With her still bent knee she set her foot flat against the ground rose her torso until her back was straight, her weight thrust onto the arm as her other leg came in. There. Both feet now. She leaned back and removed each finger from the ground. All she had to do now was stand. Easy. Her torso raised slowly from the floor. There it was again, the leaning. With a hop Amireh shot a foot out and caught herself, but the imbalance was still there. One leg followed the other as she sailed into the wall, her shoulder buffeting up against the fabrics there to keep herself from falling. At least she was up. "Tell me what you want." She said, still breathing, but she was stronger somehow. Determined. "If I can give it to you, I will. If not then you're screwed." Amireh cracked a grin. Hah! There was that spirit. "And I don't think I would mind a replacement. I bet I would look hideous in a dress now." She groaned and leaned back against the wall, her body flopping about so that her back rested against the soft, pleasant coverings. This was, by far, the worst idea she had ever had. Damn Nuits. "I'm going to stay here and study. I didn't endure that psychopath so I could give up and leave."

[Panna Cotta]

Amireh was an unbalanced scale, tipping over to one side - nothing proper posture, at least one that's suitable for a disabled, no!, differently-abled person - could not correct. Often times it is not one's physical strength that determines one's ability to survive, the will to live is just as powerful as a potent life elixir. Death was a contemptible word upon the young woman's lips, being so close to dying must have gotten on her nerves, invigorating the pride running through her veins. She did not let herself get defeated over Aelobius' madness, and she will not give up just because of a missing limb.

The strong lives on.

"Oh I have simple joys Amireh," Amaryllis let out a happy chuckle - or at least what sounded like one, "You can immediately tell by my well dressed office that I do not live in ugliness and filth like most Nuits around here. I find working with dead bodies pleasant, as I do not have to bear with the social intricacies these wizards impose upon themselves and everyone around them. I revel in beauty and indulgence. When you die, could I have your body?" That was a little straightforward, awkward even.

"Hahaha." Another crisp laugh, "I am only chiding you. Pulsers are really pleasant play things. Well, let's see." She bid her time in thinking of an errand, "You could go ahead and visit Aelobius, try not to tick him off but gently remind him I won our bet." The Nuit put on a thinking look, "Then again if you appear in his office, that's just as much as a reminder. So, go ahead and show yourself to him, and if you're feeling brave ask him why he let you live. And then tell him the void's astrolabe is mine now." There was a good long strip of silence after that, and Amaryllis' looked at her so fiercely, weighing her words. Was the human truly going to stay, and could her small body contain her strength? Amireh's body would first give up, her soul, much much later.

"Now if you manage to do all that and come out of it whole, as whole as you can be right now, please drop by the Antiquary. It should be easy to find, from Aelobius' office head right back to the Library, take the next corridor on your left, head straight, climb the flight of stairs, and you should find yourself in an arched pathway that connects to a tower. Climb the tower. Looks for signs and follow them, by then you should end up in the Antiquary. I have a package there waiting for me from a sweet lady. Unfortunately the walk is just too long and no golem could possibly climb all those flight of stairs..." Lazy Nuits, always looking for someone or something to do the work for them! "Why don't you fetch it for me? By the time you come back - if you come back - I should have an artificial arm ready for you. And a new dress! I think I could find one that fits."

[Amireh]

Talk. Too much damn talk. Amireh listened, if just, although the brunt of her attention was focused on a more important task. Walking. Once her breathing normalized she straightened her back and set her body against the wall. Compensate. Defeat meant death. Death was not acceptable. She had cause to live, cause for revenge, no age old corpse would get the best of her. And no blasted flesh would stop her vengeance. This was just a body, just a vessel, Amireh did not care what happened to it. Why then, should it win in such a manner? Her eyes flashed yellow. The color was new to her - perhaps, she never had cause for such emotion. Fury. Determination. With a light, simple push the woman separated herself from her support. Step. Compensate. A sense of vertigo overtook her as before but this time her shoulders tilted ever-so slightly, one foot moved to support the loss of weight at her side and, just like that, she was standing. Good. "Pleasant?" Was she a play thing? Her voice gained more strength with each word, this new, little victory enough to spur the girl on. To these Nuits she was just a toy. A fun, living doll. She hated them. "I owe you, but you already profit from my continued existence. We'll see how pleasant of a pulser I remain." Amireh shot the Nuit a terrible, vicious smiles. So much had changed since her encounter with the psychopathic wizard. Before she was selfish, maybe too foolhardy, but now? Obsession replaced everything. She had cause, too much for one soul perhaps, but it was there. And it would drive her to no limited ends. "I'll fetch your package. Take whatever payment you need from my things, assuming you haven't already. I will return." So confidence. Perhaps to a fault. She wanted to leave in a flurry, to escape with finesse, but instead the girl simply put on foot around the other and half-stumbled to the door. Standing she could do. Walking seemed a whole different monsters. She managed to open the portal out and used the wall as her crunch, her one remaining arm scouring about at the unfriendly stone. The going was slow. She fumbled, tripped, and forced herself on, the path to Aelobius burned into her memory as if branded. By the time she reached the first set of stairs she could walk without holding onto to something. She needed to be strong. Forget that the pangs of hunger assaulted her, that she thirsted for a cool drink, there was work to be done. A prize to be claimed. But first, stairs. Step. Amireh hoisted herself up. She made an effort to lean against the wall once more, the momentary tip of lifting her body up each flight a painful reminder of her frail condition. And of her muscle's' lack of use. She would need to fix that. Bells passed. Or did they? Chimes felt life infinity, but her ascent was only a momentary setback. Through a corridor, left at the seemingly familiar set of doors. There. His office. Collecting herself, Amireh gathered what strength she had and reached forward, a hand rapping lightly on the ages old wood. She waited for the queue, that voice, and once given permission she opened the gateway to hell and stepped in, her gaze falling upon the hated, despicable form of revenge itself. Aelobius.