Silent Contemplation (Orion)

by **Tabitha Aryns** on February 8th, 2014, 2:37 am

Winter 47th, 513AV
Temple of The Divines

Bright, colored light fell on the large pews through the stained glass windows, speckling the grey stone with reds, greens, yellows, blues and pinks, and quite possibly a few other colors. There was not a service in progress at that moment, thank goodness, but nor was the temple lacking of life. Few, assumably citizens, dotted the pews in silent, reflective meditation, it was peaceful, a place of refuge and contemplation for the weary minded.Tabby had entered the temple looking for a quiet place to block out the hustle and bustle of the crowded hallways of Syliras, she took a seat in the middle of the pews, on the end closest to the stained glass windows.

Tabby sat in awe at first, the temple was amazing, its atmosphere drastically different compared to the outside world. As if the temple itself was in another dimension. She would come here frequently to recharge, finding the outside to be a rather stifling place with so many people packed together, it took its toll on her energy everyday and she had to wonder how her mother and father had survived for as long as they did.

Pulling the key off around her neck and inspecting it, her eyes came to rest on the word belief etched in the silver, something that related to the temple itself, as it was the temple of the gods. Solve my riddle, Tabby thought to herself jaggedly. How am I suppose to solve it if you don’t give me a proper key? Not… Not this little thing.
She sniffed, her nose began to run as an extra hot wave of heat flooded her face, eyes threatening to water over. Quickly blinking away the hot tears and taking in a deep breath of fresh air she turned her head to look up into colored light presented by the stained glass.

The question persisted almost maliciously. Taunted her with merciless thoughts about her father, what his message possibly was, how it related to the key, the words, his death, and her mother’s own melancholy. According to her mother, her father had said nothing else to anyone, what had been going on in his mind was a complete and utter mystery, just like the riddle and the key, a key which belonged to no lock. Tabitha had to wonder why?

“I know you had trouble expressing yourself, but you couldn’t have just said.. I love you? Why did you have to make this so difficult.. Not even a goodbye.” She questioned softly to the air. In any other circumstance Tabby would have been thrilled to be given such a challenge by her father, but he was dead, and he had made his last message to her an incredibly hard riddle that she couldn’t even possibly begin to decode. She had to assume that the key itself was his riddle, and the words meant something, but what? Tabby sighed and reclined into the pew, elbow on its arm, and rested her cheek into her propped up hand. The key held firmly in the other, its silver chain hanging limply against her thigh.

by **Orion Michaels** on February 9th, 2014, 4:34 am

Things should have felt better, but they didn’t. He should have been more at easy, but he was far from such a thought. What should have brought respite, only unearthed more uncertainty, and a squire who was constantly at risk of being swallowed up by complete uncertainty found himself in a location he’d never been at until that day.

The Temple of All Gods.

Orion couldn’t hide the frown that spread across his lips as he entered the holy temple, confusion and an altogether foreign feeling sweeping over him with each step into the sanctum. Brilliant colors swept over the blue eyed man’s form as light was distorted and diffused as it passed through the beautiful stained glass windows which were found throughout the temple. Careful steps were taken, the squire uncertain if he should even be within these hallowed grounds. More than that, he didn’t know how he should feel.

Unworthy? Humbled?

Or perhaps he should let his rage overcome him. Life had been so cruel, so very cruel. Orion had oft times wondered where they gods were when he was suffering so badly. Were they laughing? Or were they ignorant, unconcerned with the plight of a simple mortal? It all seemed like a giant joke. No, it was the greatest comedy of all.

Piercing blue eyes scanned back and forth, falling coldly on the various citizens who were spending their bells offering their prayers, worship, and grievances to the deities they held so dear. Orion wanted to know if their calls would be heard, their desires fulfilled? He doubted it would be so, but at the same it was possible he’d been doing it all wrong this entire time.

”Maybe if I’d been vocal to the gods, things would have gone much differently,” he muttered, sliding into a pew so he could both move out of the way and watch the happenings within the temple. So many people, so many questions, and he had no idea where to begin, who to ask, or even if he should be there at all. Before he could tear himself apart worrying about it, a soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

Orion froze, momentarily paralyzed by the question that may as well have been asked of him. A simple inquiry, but one that cut him to his very core. Lyla may as well have said those words herself the night she passed.

Swallowing heavily, Orion found his gaze falling onto the woman in the pew ahead of him. Young, plain dark hair, and she was entirely focused on a silver object that was in her grasp. He had no reason to bother her; no one came to the Temple to be bothered by others, did they? So instead of speaking, he simply stared awkwardly at the back of her head, unsure of what he was waiting for.

If ever there were a god of being an absolute mess, I would be first in line to be their champion, I’m sure of that much.

by **Tabitha Aryns** on February 9th, 2014, 7:02 am

Tabitha covered her eyes, her chest tightening with every tick that passed by in silence, knuckles whitening at the force of how hard she was gripping the key. She wanted to break down at that point, partially for her father, and the other reason being not knowing how to go about solving his last riddle but she held on. There wasn’t any stopping the leakage from her eyes, the salty tears sparsely fell into her hand, and stayed there, containing the urge to grieve hysterically like her mother. It took a few moments, the look on her face that was visible contorted in pain, until finally she sniffed, and looked up to the front of the temple, eyes red, and wet, she stared. Crying wouldn’t get her anywheres, sitting would do nothing, she needed to get up and move.

Up she stood, slow, and careful, rubbing what was left of the moisture on her eyelids into her coat’s sleeve and whispered to no one. “Get a hold of yourself.” She needed to be strong, not just for herself, and the riddle, but for her mother as well; Tabitha was frightened at the thought of what her mother might do if she had seen her daughter right then. “You’re not going to solve anything if you just sit here..”

With methodical movements, Tabby connected each of the chain’s ends around her neck, putting the necklace with the key back on and then fixed her hair so it lay over the silver chain. Straightening out her coat, she took a deep breath, and exhaled a sigh, one arm falling to her side and the other’s hand resting on the wooden pew’s back in front of her. I need to look around this building, the word belief is what brought me here in the first place, it was stupid of me to think that sitting in a pew would solve a part of the key. The dark brunette’s eyes wandered around the temple’s great interior, turning her body so that the stained glass was behind her. To anyone it would be plainly obvious how nervous she was.

It wasn’t until her eyes caught someone looking at her that she froze in place. Jerking her hand up to her face to hide it, and then turning her head away, she suddenly felt extremely self conscience. Instead of going the stranger’s way she turned around, and walked to the stained glass, making a left for the front of the temple and towards the altar. The hand that had been used to hide her face now ran along the tops of the pew’s arms, she didn’t know what she was doing, or if it would come off as suspicious to the people in the temple, but she followed her whims. Standing at the front, Tabitha continued to look around. Up to the high ceilings, to the stained glass, and then down to the exit’s magnificent doors, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Tabitha had never been in a temple before even if she had visited once with her mother seven days after her own arrival to Syliras, there wasn’t one in Zeltiva so she had little to go on how temples themselves worked, but there was no massive library for her to reference. Only the key, the riddle without words or direction, and herself.

by **Orion Michaels** on February 9th, 2014, 7:38 am

She was struggling with something, it wouldn’t take the most insightful of folks to realize this fact. Something was wrong, and for some reason or another she was seeking an answer within the sacred walls of this temple. The squire could empathize. His last tears had fallen in a dark alleyway over near the docks. It was far from the sanctuary of comfort this place was. Despite her earlier words, he wasn’t watching her for them. Instead he sought his own understanding on why people did the things they did.

He was no great seeker of knowledge. He didn’t want to know how everything worked, what made things tick, and truly, he didn’t care why the gods did what they did. He simply journeyed to find something that could set him on the path he needed to take. While he’d made efforts to give up his old ways, he’d left a void that Orion had yet to find a way to fill. The uncaring, selfish, amoral Orion was a thing of the past, but the new one was a mostly blank slate. If he didn’t find a way to fill the canvas, he knew how he was, and he knew he would paint it with familiar colors. He didn’t want to give up everything he worked for.

That still didn’t justify staring at a young woman, and there was no surprise on Orion’s face when she retreated soon after identifying Orion’s gaze upon her. Embarrassed, self-conscious, worried. Whatever it was, this stranger wasted no time in claiming a safe distance from the squire.

No one in the temple reacted to Tabitha’s movements. There was no service going on at the time, and everyone had their own way of worship, of repentance, and of reverence to their deity. Not a soul would bat an eyelash at a young woman wandering throughout a temple with tear stained eyes. Guilt did, however, tug at the strings of Orion’s heart. He remained seated for a few moments, weighing his options, though there seemed to be two basic choices.

He could get up and leave her to her apparent grieving.

Or he could go to her.

Despite all his worries, all of his uncertainty, and his confusion, he was still a social creature.

Orion stood up, sighing as he rose to his feet. Long, slow strides brought the tall, dark haired man towards the lithe woman. He was cautious in his approach, trying to move at an even pace without approaching too quickly. He didn’t want to come off as aggressive, as he’d already disturbed her once. A faint hope he held close that she wouldn’t be put off by his actions.

”Hey,” he said softly as he neared the stranger,”I’m sorry for a few ticks ago. You sounded just like someone I used to know and it through me off. I ask your forgiveness. I’ll leave you to…” Orion trailed off before he finished, thoughts crawling back to the tears she’d been fighting a few chimes back, before Orion had spooked her. He was an imperfect being, but he understood hurt, and he couldn’t let things go, at least not without trying to help.

Orion inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he did so. The exhale naturally followed, though he stood for a few ticks longer before opening his eyes. A tentative inquiry soon followed.

”Pardon me for this but…are you okay?”

by **Tabitha Aryns** on February 11th, 2014, 4:49 am

How should she handle this? Tabitha had been plucked from her cozy life, there was no Amanda to confide in or rely on for backup, no Zeltiva library to visit, her father was dead and could not be buttered for clues, and her own mother was in no state to be offering advice, let alone stable enough to bring her father up. The young woman had never felt so lost, or alone in her life. Transfixing her gaze to the altar as the man approached, she saw him in the corner of her eye, but she chose to ignore him in hopes that it wasn’t she who he was coming to. That was the last thing Tabby needed at that exact moment, a random stranger asking questions, when she didn’t have any answers for him. Not anything that could possibly be understood at least.

It wasn’t to be, and Tabby recoiled immediately at his voice, her panic taking the form of slowly crossed arms and shut eyes, her lips forming a subtly tight line as she tried to figure out what to do exactly. You would never let me hear the end of this, would you, Amanda. It was a rhetorical question, her friend wouldn’t, Tabitha just knew.

Tabitha couldn’t snap at him, he was simply expressing concern, but she couldn’t hold the hard tone back as she struggled to maintain what scrap of composure she had left. “N.. No its fine, I’m fine, I just.. I was just startled to see someone looking at me.. Was.. Was I talking out loud again.. I’ve got to stop doing that.” She opened her eyes to look at him, arms remaining where they were as she turned her body to face him slightly. The movement grated against her body, her mind not fully compliant with the action. Tabitha saw the rugged good looks, but couldn’t register them, if perhaps she had met him another time, a different place, in a life not as confused, she would have blushed, and perhaps could have flirted, Amanda at her back, urging her on, and joining in on the fun.

Instead she glanced at the door, the exit that would bring her back into the oceans of people, and lose herself to the waves and wherever the flow would take her. “I’m.. I’m sorry, I wasn’t disturbing you, was I?” Tabby asked him, not done with her investigation of the temple, but not entirely sure if she wanted to stay with so many other people around, even if there were just a few. How would she explain to them what she was looking for? If she was looking for anything. “I was just about to leave, but I just wanted to see the altar up close first.. Its so.. Pretty?”

The statement was devoid of any real excitement for the architecture, and the denial in her voice was thicker than a Svefran accent, it was a straight up lie even if Tabitha had really meant she was about to leave. She could just come another time and hope that the temple itself was less populated than it was currently; she still had to look at the pews. Though she doubted her father would have carved anything into the wood, the devout man that he was wouldn’t have done anything to anger the gods, and neither would Tabby, if she could help it.

by **Orion Michaels** on February 17th, 2014, 5:19 am

Is she nervous? Can't say I blame her. I'm the creep approaching her, after all.

Orion had the chance to back out and to not bother her, and for a moment he considered it. Retreating most likely would have been the best option. The young woman clearly didn't want to be bothered, but she was unlucky enough to cross a rather foolhardy soul. A man seeking a new path, one of kindness, one of thanks, and most notably, one lacking in selfishness. All were things foreign to his existence for many years, and so, despite all his knowledge and ability with social scenes, he was nothing but a bumbling idiot. He didn't know how to be nice when he was actually trying to be.

What a mess.

The lines of his cheeks creased when she replied, barely contained..irritation, anger, frustration, sorrow? He couldn't quite pick out the emotion, but it was raw, and it wasn't any of Orion's business. "Once again, my apologies for that. I mistook you for someone that there's no reason I should have." He turned his blue eyes away from her, eyes boring a hole in the back of the pew in front of her.

"No, miss, you weren't disturbing me at all," he replied softly. Gods this was awkward. He'd not intended to put her off so. A cute young woman, suffering through whatever it were, and he was making it worse. "I'll leave you to it. I hope you find what it is you're looking for," Orion said, wishing he'd listened to his initial feeling to leave her be. It would have done away with so many complications and let them both have a few more moments of peace instead of sitting there while Orion stole them away. ”It’s something we all have to do at some point,” he remarked before turning to walk from her. He would make his way a few pews back and then start to cross to the other side of sanctuary, giving the girl the distance she so needed.

He wanted to help her, but he couldn’t. Why would she want some complete stranger to try and listen?

The struggle was too real to him, however, and he wasn’t sure what to do for someone who seemed completely lost for what to do. He’d spent too many years of his life wondering and wandering. He’d had the same look she had, uttered same disinterested lies, and hid the feelings that were really there.

She’d lost something, just has he had. Something precious, he was sure of it, and he would never know.

He couldn’t place a finger on it, but for some reason not being able to aid her wounded his heart. A new feeling was this, one he’d never experienced in his memories. To deal with it, he took a seat in one of the pews and placed his forehead against the top of the one in front of him. Then he willed that he forget about it, he willed that he think of nothing. Tried to clear his mind. But all he could hear were those words.

Why did you have to make this so difficult.. Not even a goodbye..

What he would give for a chance to say goodbye.

by **Tabitha Aryns** on February 24th, 2014, 1:38 am

Goosebumps dotted the pale flesh hidden underneath the loose leather jacket at the stranger’s words, whether from the cold, or something else entirely, the girl watched as he went to take a seat in one of the pews. There was so much simmering underneath that Tabby didn’t rightly know how to express herself, to anyone, and definitely not to a stranger. Feelings of uncertainty, fear, anger, and sadness, a nervous clatter in her chest, all took to a cacophonous rhythm beating on the fringes of discordance. Tabby wanted to say something, she wanted to be able to pour her heart out, to sob into one’s shoulder, and be comforted, to know that everything would be okay, and that she was not alone.

Letting go of a breath Tabitha hadn’t known she was holding, never in her cozy, comfy, life had she the privilege of experiencing such intense emotions. There had always been someone there that she could rely on, but now, now there was no one but herself. Opening up to a complete stranger was an insane thing to do, what point was there in sharing her problems, expressing her woes, and essentially inviting trouble in? Tabitha blinked, everything a haze as her steps danced to a slow jagged tune, she was debating on whether to do what Amanda would have done, but couldn’t quite convince herself, moving ever closer to the pew the man sat. To speak, or otherwise.

It was only when she stood directly next to it that she paused, her eyes redirecting to the ground as she fumbled with her fingers, and twiddled her thumbs, biting her lip in an unhappy frown. Glancing at him. Who was Tabitha kidding? She wanted Amanda, not some stranger, she wanted the familiarity of her friend, the sea salt air, gruffened voices from the docks thick with many accents, and the sniffy, snubby scholars at the college with their leather bound books in a library of antiquity. Homesickness was a terrible thing indeed, and it was hitting her heavy, and hard, without any remorse. She must have looked green by the time she uttered a single sound, eyes still directed to the cold, stone floor.

“I..” She near choked, eyes watering. At least thank him. Thank him for his kindness. He didn’t have to ask if you were alright. Tabby berated herself, heart thudding against the inside of her chest, forcing her to take a slow breath of air, attempting to compose herself. “Thank you.. For caring.” The words were whispered, the conflict inside showed outwardly, an open book for the world to read as defences were momentarily taken down, and the emotion scrawled along her face like words to paper, her gaze not on him; to look at him would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Her feet, a tangled mess, stumbled forwards to the exit, barely registering that hot salty tears were on the verge of escape.

by **Orion Michaels** on March 6th, 2014, 1:20 am

Silently the squire sat, lost in his own thoughts. Everything felt so..so different. He’d experienced a change, a dedication to his future, or so he’d come to believe. He’d kept himself busy enough that he hadn’t truly had time to sit down and think if it were true. The suffocating silence and serenity of the temple had him questioning that belief to its core. It was why he was suddenly reaching out to a stranger. Uncomfortable. Uncharacteristic. Strange. Orion wanted nothing more than to divorce himself of it and be on his way, but before he could do so, he could feel a pair of brown eyes on him.

Slowly did his own eyes lift from the ground, sliding over to gaze upon the woman he’d spoken to..well, at a few moments prior.

She here to tell me to mind my own business and suggest I go petch myself? Gods know that’s what I’d have been likely to do…

Orion tried not to stare at the stranger, but it was clear she wanted to address him, cautious as she may have been about doing so. He opened his mouth to try and say something comforting or reassuring, but she beat to speaking. The words which quietly fell from her mouth sucked the breath from his very lungs, leaving him shocked, stunned.

”I..uh..yeah…” He stammered, remaining seated as she turned and left him sitting in the pew. Something, no everything felt off about their exchange. Orion wasn’t supposed to be offering kind words, and no one was supposed to thank him for them. He was meant to ignore her. It was inevitable that he would end up angry and yelling.

Yet, none of that happened.

Instead it felt like someone had connected square with his gut in a training bout. She’d gotten him good, and he hadn’t seen it coming. For a moment he considered giving chase. For a sweet tick it crossed his mind to run after the woman and find out more, continue to console her, and in following through with that, doing something he hadn’t genuinely done in a long time.

Instead, he sat in the pew, letting her retreat from something that had been just as difficult for her. The pain was painted in a plethora of colors on her face, but she’d found the will to come and thank a stranger for a minute speck of comfort. A whisper of tears rested on her eyes, but still she came. Still she spoke.

While she hurt, all he could do was watch.

While she was brave, he was a coward.

Sighing, the squire let his vision rise to the tall, vaulted ceiling of the temple, a wry smile crossing his lips. It was a mistake to have made his trip.

Maybe this is why I don’t come here. Feels like I’m being judged more than normal here, before the eyes of the gods.