Closed [Hadyn's Apartment] I've Made a Huge Mistake (Hadyn)

[Orion Michaels]

75th of Winter, 513 AV
Hadyn's Apartment
15th Bell

To say it Orion had gone through a tumultuous period of time would be an understatement. Jealousy, anger, and lots and lots of drinking had begun to take it's toll. Couple that with having hardly any time to visit his family and he could feel the stress beginning to rise. A man who once found solace in mug after mug discovered no respite in the bitter ale or dry wines he used to love. Instead, the clash of blades, the burning of muscles, or the smiles of his children kept him centered. He'd hardly seen such a thing coming, and before he knew it there was nothing which could be done.

"Orion, you seem distracted," Dinah said, his patron knight giving him a sideways glance. Another finished patrol, but he'd hardly put his heart into anything the last few days. The Captain Knight had learned to read her squire's emotions quite well over the last year, both for better and worse. A seemingly laid back, silver tongued man had instead showed her something very different. He could be cold, he could be mean, but he could be so passionate that it surprised her every time. Volatile emotions, flaring tempers, and fierce compassion would shift about his every being. He wasn't a perfect fit for the knight mold, but the longer she was around him, the more the knight had wondered if that wasn't such a bad thing.

"Yeah, just been rough lately," he said dismissively, eyes locked to the ground before him. Shoulders were slightly drooped, his jaw tighter than normal. He didn't want to talk.

"Aww, nothing you want to tell your favorite patron about?"

"My only patron."

Dinah chuckled and smiled at his quick retort, but her expression faded when he didn't share in the humor. When he closed up like this, he would either answer her with one sentence replies all night or let his temper show it's head. Neither of them were particularly appealing to the redheaded Captain.

"Get out of here, Orion."

Blue eyes rose from their stare at the stone ground, shifting to Dinah with suspicion in their depths.

"There's no catch," she quickly added waving him off. "Go see your family," she whispered softly, nodding her head in the direction of the Roshin District.

Smirking, Orion turned from his patron, offering nothing but a halfhearted flip of his hand in departure. Why does she keep calling them my family? It felt like she was trying to brainwash him. "Gods, it feels like everyone is trying to do that," he muttered once out of earshot.

The squire was quite frustrated with, well, about everyone as of late. Hardly had a soul crossed his path who didn't have an unwanted opinion or think they had the answer for anything that was going on. People who took it upon themselves to meddle in affairs not their own. His personal circle was close, he could count those within it on one hand. With the exception of his daughter, who knew everything in the history of the world, it amused the squire that none of those he offered trust to were the ones trying to force their opinions upon him.

The squire, clad in armor, sword at his side, made his way across the city towards Hadyn's apartment. He'd see Liam, pray that he, Hadyn, and Liam were the only one's there. The last thing an already frustrated Orion needed was an unwanted guest.

Arriving at her apartment, Orion rapped lightly on the door, as to not wake his son if he were sleeping, and then reached down and checked the handle. Finding it unlocked, he opened it and peeked his head in. "Hadyn, It's Orion," he said evenly before making his way into the apartment.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn bit her lower lip, wavering concentration threatening to abandon her entirely. Just put the apple down. Slowly. There. Pick up the knife. Her glare was perhaps a bit too intense but the simple act of pairing a piece of fruit was made near impossible, exhaustion weighing her eyelids and slowing her muscles. Concentrate, damn it. Releasing her lower lip the woman gritted her teeth to force herself to carry on the task.

Just seasons ago she was wielding a hammer with ease and receiving the coveted praise of Eanos. And now? she could barely keep an apple from tottering off the table, much less hold it and level a knife. How the mighty have fallen. Nights of sleeplessness

and a newborn who couldn't enunciate his seemingly constant distress left the woman weak and inept. It was a rare moment, this afternoon, that Liam slept soundly in his crib. Hadyn managed to pull herself from the floor beside him to eat something. But what might've appeared to be a simple flow of actions and muscle memory proved exceptionally challenging.

Again she settled the rosy fruit on the cutting board, brown eyes narrowed with frustration. Once it was still she reached for the knife. So far so good. She felt stupid praising herself for such a ridiculous achievement but she was too tired to beat herself up over it. Her fingers slid along the smooth cold handle of the tiny weapon, preparing the cut into the middle of the apple when a knock at the door halted her hand.

Hadyn froze. What if the knock woke Liam? Wide eyes darted to the door of the bedroom, praying to Oriana the child didn't hear the soft rapping on wood. After a tick she released the breath she'd been holding. All quiet from the bedroom. Before she could properly ignore whoever was on the other side of the door it pushed open, a man's voice making salutations. Of course it was him. With a heavier sigh than necessary the brunette frowned. If it'd been anyone but Orion she would've sent them on their way. She didn't have the strength or patience to deal with people. Setting the knife down - she'd been so petching close - the brunette pressed her lips together.

Turning to face the squire as he entered the woman hoped her haggard appearance would be enough to make him think twice. Her skin was sallow, and despite visiting Soothing Water that morning for a bath for herself and Liam she felt slovenly. Though it'd been washed her hair was piled on top of her head, no deference given to pieces that hung down in curls and waves. She was lucky if she had the presence of mind to take a brush to it. Her lips were a faint pink, barely registering color and nearly blending with her skin. The brown dress smelled faintly of dust and sweat, a dark stain on the shoulder from a possible baby fluids. Watching the blue eyed man let himself in Hadyn didn't bother hiding the fatigue event in her features. Behind her the hearth glowed merrily.

"Should've guessed it was you. He's asleep in there," she murmured noncommittally with a nod to the closed door. Orion wasn't here to see her - no need parsing through the bullshyke. Turning back to the apple the weaponsmith took another breath. Try again.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion didn't take any note of Hadyn's exasperated sigh, or the frustration that was palpable in her presence. He was annoyed as it were, and for the moment, that self-centered attitude would pay off. He'd had a bad day, and he was there to see his son. "Alright. I'll see to him in a moment. Right after I get out of this blasted armor."

He missed her expression. He missed her tone. And he missed any clues that noisily removing his plate mail was probably not the right choice.

The plated armor of the knights wasn't horribly difficult to remove, though a bit time consuming to don. Rather than fewer large plates, it favored more, smaller ones. Increased flexibility and maneuverability were achieved in trade for a bit less protection.

It was also extremely loud.

Though Orion was trying to be careful, he steel meeting the floor caused a clanking and scraping that only seemed amplified as things were when one was trying to be quiet. He didn't want to wake Liam after all, unaware of the bigger threat: Hadyn.

His fingers tugged and pulled at the leather straps and buckles and he clumsily removed piece after piece. Each was placed on the familiar ground with as much grace and ease the squire could muster. Hadyn’s apartment had become a rather common place for him to visit once he was done with training and/or patrols for the day. He’d been making an honest effort to be there for his son, helping Hadyn as he was able, but more often than not, he just felt like he was in the way. Her place, while larger than the one she’d had before, didn’t seem capable of containing them and their.. not relationship.

It was day after day of confusion, with Liam being the only adhesive really keeping them in each other’s lives. They’d discovered a way to coexist thus far, but things had become slightly more tense in recent days. The stress the two parents found themselves under, from sources both shared and different, were beginning to show.

Clank. Clank. Cl-clank. Ting! Clank.

”Sorry,” he whispered after an especially loud clang of the last of his armor. Piled up at his feet, the squire stretched out his arms and popped his neck, reveling in the relief he found in freedom from the armor.

Orion sighed contentedly and stepped forward – kicking the armor he’d so neatly stacked over the previous few chimes.

He froze where he stood, eyes widening as the various metal plates scattered across the floor of Hadyn’s apartment. He’d done it now. Liam couldn’t have possibly slept through such a mess. Slowly, Orion's gaze turned to rest on Hadyn, a sheepish grin spreading across his lips.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Focus. Focus. It was exceptionally difficult to do so with Orion practically banging his armor against the wall. Gripping both the knife and the apple a little too tightly the woman closed her eyes, hoping he'd be quick about it so she could get on with her seemingly mindless task. No. He was taking all fucking day and making a racket about it. Gritting her teeth the woman turned to stare at him. Each piece of metal clattered, raked and clanged against the stone, causing a dull pain to throb behind her eyes. If the sound of a baby's cries were added she might stab Orion. Unknown to him, however, Liam had just been fed so his sleep was surprisingly deep, though perhaps not deep enough for this cacophony.

"Why don't y'just start throwin' it against the wall, Michaels," she snapped in hushed tones, brow furrowed as she looked over her shoulder at him. He was stretching like a gods damn cat and made to move forward when his lumbering foot caught the pile of armor sending the pieces rattling across the floor. Before Hadyn could lay into him they were met with helpless loud wails, tentative at first before increasing in volume and intensity.

"You fuckin' oaf," she swore amidst the cries, dropping the knife and leaving him with a furious glare to enter the bedroom. Despite lacking a candle the brunette traversed the dark room with ease, moving around the bed to lean forward and acknowledge the screaming infant. Lifting him from his bedding Hadyn pulled Liam toward her, his head against her shoulder as he howled in her ear. Rocking him gently the exhausted woman closed her eyes.

"He didn't mean to," she murmured to the baby while he expressed his discontent. "He's just..." Hadyn didn't bother finishing the sentence. She hummed to Liam, hoping her voice would soothe him but it seemed he was exceptionally unhappy to be woken from a deep slumber and he made it perfectly clear she'd have to work much harder to quiet him. Walking away from the crib the brunette moved slowly, rocking the newborn against her as he bawled. She didn't care if Orion stayed or pissed off.

Moving across the room Hadyn was almost ready to cry herself, the fatigue of caring for Liam and herself nearly too much. Resting her cheek against the soft round head of the newborn the weaponsmith sighed heavily as his cries lessened a bit. Biting her lower lip she waited. Was he too tired to go on? Was it not worth it now that he had his mother's attention? Pausing the brunette waited to see if her son was over his minor upset.

[Orion Michaels]

He was too busy being focused on trying (and failing) to be quiet to catch the venom in Hadyn's words. She was usually at least amiable to his presence, so he didn't give a second thought to just how annoying he was being to her at the moment. "Wouldn't want to be too loud," he deadpanned, not giving her a second look. Taking off plate armor around a sleeping child wasn't exactly the most simple of tasks. So many straps and buckles to deal with, and never enough space. He illustrated that point by punting the protective gear all over the room.

Eyes widened as the crying started and Hadyn's biting swears cut through the noise. It was an anger he'd not witnessed from her, even at their worst. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. Not that anything he would have said could have pierced his son's sobbing and wailing. At a loss for what to do, the squire waited a few ticks before following her to the entryway of her bedroom. At this point, he knew there was no way for him to win. Anything he did would be met with anger and defiance. It had been a huge mistake to come visit this day.

The crying came down in a slow decrescendo as Liam responded to his mother's comforting hold and words. Orion listened to her hushed whispers, a twinge of guilt touching him as he heard the almost frantic tone and exhaustion of her words. How much had she been able to sleep? Was Liam draining her that much? The squire didn't have the fortune or misfortune of dealing with the day to day of the child's upbringing. He just got to come in and be dad when the knights afforded him the time; he had his own exhaustion to deal with, but they were his choices alone. He knew that Liam was something they both had to have a hand in, but he also recognized that there existed no realistic way that the burden would be shared evenly.

Again his lips parted as if to speak, but nothing would come out. Whatever he said was likely to spark more anger, more crying, and have him sent packing; something he probably should have done on his own anyways. The squire simply stood at the entrance of the room, leaning against the frame and listening to the weary sobs of their newborn.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn held the baby to her, eyes closed as the boy hiccuped through quiet sporadic sobs. Her heart beat thunderously in her chest, so loudly she feared it would rouse Liam into another crying spell. But as the infant settled she too calmed, her breathing issuing shakily through parted lips. A wisp of silence occurred between the baby's heavy breaths but instead of hearing nothing Hadyn caught the faint sound of feet moving.

Orion

She was surprised he hadn't seen himself out after she snapped at him. Though she didn't feel particularly repentant for her words there was a moment of slight reproach for

reacting the way she had. His idiocy should be expected by now. Yet she wasn't exactly known for her even keel nature, especially these days. Just the memory of his loud blundering stirred her blood. Opening her eyes the brunette turned to the side, his form coming into sight. She stood in profile to him, looking at him over her shoulder as Liam gurgled. Staring at him from the darkness, his expression unreadable in the dark, the woman pressed her lips together.

Moving toward him she stopped close enough to appear intimate. Brown eyes met the blue eyes the father shared with his son. Hadyn tried to maintain an emotionless visage, not wishing to rouse the turbulent emotions she'd displayed earlier. She lifted Liam from her shoulder to Orion, expression grim. The man would have little choice but accept the infant she was proffering.

"Here," she murmured quietly, gaze locked on his. "You came to see him."

Once the exchange was made Hadyn would move past Orion, the bodies brushing against each other as she left the bedroom to return to the firelight. Her ire at his stupid behavior wasn't completely quelled and her nerves were raw from the wails so recently near her ear. Blinking in the light the woman was irritated to feel the prick of tears threatening to spill for no good reason. Setting her jaw Hadyn returned to her attempt at slicing an apple. There was no telling how long the squire would stay but he had his reason for showing up and would hopefully not annoy her further.

[Orion Michaels]

He could feel her heated gaze upon him when he came to a stop in the doorway. For a moment he wished that he'd just retreated when he had the change. She wouldn't have held it against him. Just another page in the fucked up relationship they maintained for Liam's sake. They'd been due for a meaningless fight.

Liam's sobs filled the apartment as Hadyn held him and Orion lingered near. The loud noises had startled him, sending an exhausted woman closer to the edge, and Orion could surely call himself responsible for many of the steps she'd taken. Sleep was at a premium with a newborn, and without the steady help of another to aid her, it had to be a million times worse.

Tensing as Hadyn approached, Orion waited for another reprimand. Surely she had more ire than what had been displayed. He should have been more careful. He should have known Liam was sleeping. He should have removed that stupid petching armor before he came over. Even without actually saying it, her voice screamed each line in the squire's mind.

The reminders of his failure never came. Instead she handed off the boy that he'd come to see, pushing past him with a dismissal. He was there to see Liam; that was as far as anything needed to be.

Momentarily regarding the weapon smith with a raised eyebrow, he contemplated saying something to her. Sensibility won out. There was nothing to be gained by stirring up an already volatile hornet's nest. With a soft sigh, Orion took the child back into the darkness, away from Hadyn. She needed rest, even if it were only the distance between the rooms she was given.

Liam's crying hadn't subsided as the infant made sure his father knew the displeasure that he had with his clumsy misstep. "I know, I know. Your dad's a mess, isn't he? I'm sorry little guy. I didn't mean to wake you up." The wailing didn't stop, and didn't seem as though it were going to stop anytime soon. Children of his age could often times cry until they had no energy left and pass out. Orion's minimal experience with children would only grow as Liam educated him of his each and every mistake.

"By the gods, Liam. Those little lungs can put out a lot of air." He'd only just begun.

The squire tried rocking, swaying, cuddling, laying, sitting, tickling (which only increased the volume and intensity of the cries), before finally deciding that laying was at least the most comfortable for him.

He gently stroked his son's tiny hands while the ceaseless bawling continued. "How your mother deals with this is a mystery, kid."

[Hadyn Skellig]

For the most part Hadyn tried to ignore Orion and Liam, turning all her energy and attention to the slicing of an apple. Frustration settled neatly in her psyche as the brunette steadied the piece of fruit, determined that she should slice the thing, even if it was the last thing she ever did. After a tick the blade cut cleanly and she released the breath she'd forgotten she was holding.

There. See? you can cut an apple, you idiot.

As stupid as it felt congratulating herself on a ridiculously easy task the weaponsmith did so anyway. Now another cut. Within a moment the knife was moving through the white flesh like it was butter. Hadyn

feltan indecent amount of pride wash through her, one corner of her lips tugging into a comical smirk. Half of her wanted to turn and throw the nearly halved apple at Orion's head and gloat.

No. It's not a weapon. It's food.

Another thin piece was removed from the diminish orb of fruit. Such progress! Then, like a smack across the face, she remembered Liam. She heard his wails. The glee was fleeting as the baby's sudden cry from the other room caused Hadyn to misjudge the knife's trajectory. The ivory flesh of the apple immediately stained dark red as the blade sliced unintentionally into her own skin.

"Fuck!" the word was not so much screamed as it was angrily spat out. The knife dropped from her hand, hitting the table at enough of an angle that it landed with a clatter on the ground. A fountain erupted happily from her index finger, soaking into what remained of the apple and running carelessly down her hand. The brunette stared down at her hand, watching the blood accumulate with no small amount of emotion.

It didn't hurt.

It didn't even bother her.

But somehow... somehow this deviation from the plan upset her. Heavy tears welled up in her brown eyes as a painful lump settled in her throat. No noise was permitted to escape her lips but the tears rolled freely down her cheeks, splattering to her dress and the hand that was by now quite bloody. A heaviness weighed on her chest as the deluge continued. The unmarred hand gripped the edge of the table as she hung her head, lips quivering.

She couldn't even cut an apple anymore.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion wasn't sure how long he remained laying there with Liam. Eventually his son's sobs fell into an almost rhythm that Orion could anticipate. Deep breath. Deeper breath. Sob. Gasp. Gasp. Squeal. Over and over. If it weren't a baby shrieking, it would have been soothing. Or maybe not.

The squire sighed, cradling his son in his arms. Liam's crying did not abate. The foreign sound of metal crashing had bothered him more than Orion could have imagined. "Come on, guy. Your mother's a weapon smith. You're sure to get more exposure to this than most." He kept crying. There was no negotiating with a distressed child.

The ticks passed as Orion whispered comforting words to the babe he held. Ticks turned in chimes, and as those chimes came and went, so did the tears. His weeping began to soften, a slow decrescendo to peace. It was nothing that Orion did. The little boy simply cried himself out, falling asleep on his father's chest.

It was a much more tense situation than it should have been. The dimly lit room was silent save for the occasional sounds from the main room of the two room apartment. Hadyn. Now that he thought on it, she had seemed more irritable than normal. It was only a perfect example of how things were between them. Hot and cold. Fine one day, at each other's throats the next. Both of them were dealing with stresses in their lives, and sometimes the other could be an all too convenient target. The spats were fewer and further between than early on, but they still existed.

It had to be being cooped up in her apartment all day. Maybe he should have cut her a little slack. Not firing back at her when she yelled at him was a start, but maybe an apology was in order.

"What do you think, Liam?" He whispered to his sleeping child, a soft smile crawling on his lips.

Fuck!

The sudden exclamation caused Orion to jump, and the squire's sudden movement roused the slumbering beast. Wide eyes stared up at Orion, and then a tiny mouth opened to terrifying width before letting out a piercing screech. Armor made him cry. His mother made him cry. Orion made him cry. He made himself cry. Crying made him fucking cry. Babies sucked.

Orion scrambled to his feet, holding the sobbing child in one arm as he hastily exited for the main room. The scene before him looked like it belonged more in his old operating room than in the living area of someone's apartment. "Oh, shyke. Hadyn, are you okay?" It was a stupid question. She was bleeding. Obviously she wasn't. "Let me find a cloth."

She'd cut herself pretty deep to put on a show of crimson quite like that. He needed to stop the bleeding first and foremost. Then he could see what they needed to do with her hand. And it would have all been so much easier if there wasn't an infant blasting his ear with screams.

"Where are the fucking cloths!" He found himself looking from place to place but accomplishing nothing. He was tired. He didn't know where anything was at. Hadyn was silently crying, and Liam was not so silently doing the same. If this was the paradise of family life, he wasn't sad to have missed it for so long.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Get a hold of yourself!

The reprimand bit sharply through her, forcing the stupor to retreat. In its place the stinging pain of lacerated flesh brought the woman to present. Liam's wails were closer as another voice cut through. Orion. Brown eyes rose, still bearing the traces of shock, lips parted as if she wasn't sure there was really blood streaming from her hand. Seeing her son in the man's arms crying the woman shook her head, trying to become useful once more.

"It's alright," she assured him haltingly, reaching for a dirty rag laying on the chair just out of his sight. It was damp from gods' knew what but she picked it up anyhow. And stood there. "Here."

Use it, stupid girl.

Hadyn looked down at her bleeding finger and the rag mere inches away. If she could've seen herself from the outside she would've promptly smacked herself. Pressing the rag to the cut the brunette was immediately reminded what the material's previous purpose had been. To mop up the lemon juice where it'd sprayed on the floor when Liam knocked the freshly cut fruit over the edge of the table. She sucked in air with a hiss, eyes closing as another set of tears spilled from the corners.

"Sorry," she muttered more to herself than the squire, applying pressure to the cut. Blood stained her skin, dress, table and floor. Opening her eyes again she avoided his gaze hoping he'd miraculously get bored and take his leave. There was something unbearably unacceptable about this. Orion wasn't allowed to see this sort of breakdown. Even when she was pregnant she managed to keep her most emotionally crippling collapses from his eyes. But now she was burdened by a self inflicted injury, a crying baby and the weight of the whole season.

"He'll quiet if you put him back in the crib." The woman turned away from Orion, motioning stiffly with occupied arms to the bedchamber. She didn't offer an explanation. At this bell after having been fed Liam was likely irritated at being woken up. Her nerves felt like they were fraying with each tick. How many nights had she been up with the boy, holding him through his screams, cursing her loneliness and praying for a reprieve? Orion had no idea what he was missing.

Hoping he would take her advice the weaponsmith held the cloth to her skin, its thin material dampening with blood. It wasn't much in the way of a cut. It probably didn't even come close to past injuries. But there were emotions mounted atop this careless nick of the blade. Perhaps Orion would use his poor skills in comforting as an excuse to piss off after he put his son down. Leave her to her miserable self-loathing. Because there was certainly no way he could help.