Hey, guys. It's Razkar.
Well, it's been a month since I was banned, and the Staff have been generous enough to let me rejoin the site with a new character. I honestly wasn't expecting that. Given the amount of trouble I've caused, I thought they'd just perma-ban me and be done with it.
Turns out I've been given a second chance.
To make a long-story short, I made Raz a monument to my ego, and that caused umpteen problems for the Staff here, and the players. I disregarded the rules, the NPC Code, godmodded players, and what's worse, I was aware I was doing it. I told myself that I was "telling a good story" and that was enough justification... but that was so wrong it borders on the retarded.
So, it took a while, but eventually I got called on my bullshit and banned. For a few days I just railed against the Staff. They were jealous, or petty, or inefectual, or anything else. Like I said: ego. I never stopped to think I might be the one at fault, and I'd used Mizahar not to tell a story or work on my writing or meet people, but just to glorify myself.
I broke the rules to do that, and despite being told time and time again to stop, I kept doing it. I paid for that. The rules are there for a reason, and the Staff have to enforce them no matter what. No-one's above that.
To all the Staff I stole hours from, correcting my arrogance in their domains, I am sorry for the trouble I caused. All it would have taken would have been a few posts in the HD, or just reading the rules a little closer.
To all the players I left hanging, I'm sorry I let you all down. Tinnok, Noven, Buras, Anna, all the others... I should have known better, and I'm sorry if I cost you anything in that regard. Edreina, in particular, you know I hate myself for leaving your character with such a huge hole in her narrative, thanks to Raz's disappearance. You tried to help me so many times and I didn't listen.
To all of you, if I can make this right in some way, let me know. Usually when we're sorry, we're sorry were caught and nothing more. I think I've gone passed that: I'm sorry for the damage done and time I wasted for everyone. I won't make those mistakes again, especially on a site that has been so wonderful for me.
Thanks for your time.