Desjani ((on hold))

[Desjani]

Desjani Appearance Race: Svefra. Gender: Female. Age: 24. Birthday: 23, Summer, 490 AV. Birthplace: Suvan Sea.   Appearance Standing before you is a woman a Nubian like decent. Standing approximately 6’2", with an exquisitely honed physique. Her muscles are easily noticeable as they ripple fluidly when she moves. Long braided dreadlocks reach towards her lower back. When light catches her sapphire eyes they shine like the moon, her onyx pupils seem to pierce those she turns her gaze upon. [tabset=200]   Tattoos Pod Tattoo covering her whole back. Gnosis mark most commonly found as a full arm sleeve on Desjani’s right arm. Tavan Tattoo of Shikari on her left upper arm. Decorative tattoo on her right lower abdomen. Decorative tattoo on the left side of her chest just over her breast. [tabset=200]   Desjani Character   Concept Mercenary / Pirate / privateer direction. She wants to get enough gold to commission a better ship. Eventually she will want to start her own Pod. [tabset=200]   History ((Still thinking.)) Abilities Abilities   Languages Fluent Language: Common. Basic Language: Fratava. Poor Language: [tabset=200]   Skills Skill EXP Racial Total Proficiency Animal Husbandry 5 0 5 Novice Fishing 5 0 5 Novice Navigation: Sea 10 0 10 Novice Sailing 10 10 20 Novice Shipbuilding 5 0 5 Novice Swimming 5 0 5 Novice Weapon Skill: Short Bow 5 0 5 Novice Weapon Skill: Khopesh 5 0 5 Novice [tabset=200]   Gnosis Oceanus Marked Favored Priest/Priestess Champion ☬ ☬ [tabset=200]   Lores Helpful Lores: Lore of Svefra Culture Lore of Religion: Laviku Possessions   Clothes 1 Set of Clothing: - Gloves (Medium, Leather, and Buckles.) - Coat, Long cut (Medium, Leather, Buckles and Chains, Simple.) - Shirt (Medium, Ramie, Dyed, Embroidered.) - Belt (Medium, Leather, and Buckles Simple.) - Breeches (Medium, Ramie, Dyed, Embroidered.) - Undergarments (Medium, Silk.) - Undergarments (Medium, Ramie.) - Boots, Low cut (Medium, Leather, and Buckles Simple.)   Equipment Weapon Harness. Quiver. Scabbard. Scabbard, Dagger. Archery Glove. Archer's Arm Guard. Waterskin. Backpack which contains: -Comb (Wood). -Brush (Wood). -Soap. -Razor. -Balanced Rations (1 Week's worth). -1 eating knife. -Flint & Steel. 1 Gold Miza. .)[/tab]   Weapons Short bow. Short bow Arrows (120) Khopesh. Dagger. .)[/tab]   Armor Shield, Small, Wooden. [tabset=200]   Miscellaneous Heirloom: Fiddle 120 years old. [tabset=200]   House House: Casinor (Svefra) Location: Zeltiva [tabset=200]   Ledger Purchase Cost Total Starting +100 GM 100 GM Quiver -20 80 Shortbow -30 50 Khopesh -15 35 Earrings, Ring, Silver -6 29 Shortbow Arrows -6 23 Shield, Small, Wooden -3 20 Scabbard, Dagger -2 18 Fishing Net -4 14 Archery Glove -1 13 Archer's Arm Guard -1 12 Dagger -2 10 Weapon Harness -5 5 Scabbard -4 1 [tabset=200]   Tavan Shikari: is a 20 year old, 22’8” long, 6’6” tall, female Orca, weighing in at roughly 3 tons. She looks like a "typical" Orca, a large, black and white form with a medium-sized white eye patch. Shikari has a bit of a playful personality and is always hungry. She rarely strays far from Desjani’s ship preferring to stay close. Thread List   Spring 515 One voyage ends, Another begins. ((any and all help / suggestions / advice welcome))

[Crosspatch]

Hello there!

I'm Crosspatch, one of the friendly CS Liaisons on Mizahar! I've been looking over your Character Sheet, and I have noticed some minor issues that need to be resolved and fixed. Sadly these need to be done before you can continue roleplaying, so let's take a look at them shall we?

• Where possible can you please avoid using real world ethnicities or global location descriptions (i.e. Nubian) as they do not exist in the world of Mizahar.
• It is advised that you put the bare bones of a history even if it covers only things like, where your PC was born, their upbringing and how they got from point A to B. It only has to be a few sentences long at most, and can then be worked back into after creation. I also request that you do this, as it can affect your starter package housing - i.e. as your PC is a half Eypharian, and spent all her life being raised in Eyktol, she would not have access to the boat starter package. Please take this into consideration.
• While you would have to explain it in your history, are you sure you do not want a poor language option?
• The skill "Weapon Skills" is not a valid skill. Weapon skills specific to what is being used, and are labelled as "Weapon: Weapon name”. For example, to use a short bow, it would be "Weapon: Shortbow".
• Are you sure you wish to put SP points into the observation skill at creation? It is a very easy skill to earn points in during play, please take this into consideration.
• Note, your character's Tattoo section talks of a gnosis mark upon her arm. It should be noted that any gnosis marks you may wish to have you will have to apply for on the help desk. Because you are also a Mixed blood instead of a full Svefra, this means that you do not have access to it as a racial gnosis mark and must apply for as other players would.
• Would you like me to delete the post Balian Martell has left on your CS? (Note: Only staff and the character account are supposed to post on their own CSs).

Once these problems have been dealt with, drop me a PM and I'll remove this intervention and approve your CS for you. Also if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask and I'll do my best to answer!


Crosspatch