[Issues found by Astator] Tillie Brewer

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Tillie Brewer

Postby Tillie Brewer on February 8th, 2016, 6:58 pm

Race: Human
Birthday & Age :490AV ( 25 years old) 
Gender: Female

Physical Description
Short brown hair and eyes with tan skin, she has a mousy visage but stands roughly 5'9 and weighs 170.

Bio
A siege crossbow is an interesting choice of weapon, it's like carrying a full backpack when hiking. Tillie became proficient in its use as her father was a gadgeteer who made a decent living piecing them together for various clientele. As time progressed Tillie also became a competent gadgeteer that helped him in his business toiling on meticulous work that spanned hour after tedious hour. They lived a rather industrious lifestyle, and it always made her think about syilra and becoming a knight. There good lifestyle however began taking a bad course when her father fell ill, her mom she never met. Really everything she had was lost when he had finally succumbed to illness and she took what was available because there was no money left and headed towards Syilras.

Combat Style
Her objective is to find a vantage point set up her weapon system and provide covering fire during enemy engagements, or demoralize enemies by attempting to pick one or two high priority targets off from afar. Understanding that the siege crossbow is her life line she has begun to learn it's in and outs and thinking and developing ways to improve it as a Gadgeteer. She views every advancement as a security blanket that keeps her living. Mathematics was the only other natural choice for her to learn as calculations of distance, wind , projectile velocity, and target pace all play critical roles in getting her bolt from point A to B.

Personality
A bit of a nerdy gearhead she's all to happy to make new friends but isn't the compassionate make things better type with there theres. Instead expect a slap of reality with a calculated measurement of helpful if not arrogant rhetoric. She does have a bit of an ego but she means well, overall she tries to be social despite being extremely awkward at times. Has this sort of attitude that eventually all things will come to her while she lounges around.

Language
Common is the only language Tillie speaks

Lore
Marksmanship Shoot Ahead Of A Moving Target
Gadgeteering Compressed Springs Contain Energy

Skills
Siege Crossbow 30
30 starting package
Gadgeteering 30
15 racial bonus 15 starting package
Mathematics 5
5 starting package

Heirloom
Camouflage Armor

Items
Siege Crossbow -250
Camouflage Armor - heirloom
Gadgeteer Toolkit-150
Seige Bolts x10 -25
Spy Glass -100
Plain Green Shirt
Plain Green Pants
Plain Green Shoes
Dark Brown Coat
1Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains: brush, razor, soap
Food for a week
1 eating knife
Flint & Steel

Housing
Rents an apartment in Syilra


Ledger
Starting +100
No House +500
Siege Crossbow -250
Gadgeteer Toolkit-150
Seige Bolts x10 -25
Spy Glass -100
Remaining Coin
75
515 Seasonal Expense Poor - 45
Remaining Coin
30
User avatar
Tillie Brewer
Player
 
Posts: 21
Words: 11870
Joined roleplay: February 5th, 2016, 1:16 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet

Tillie Brewer

Postby Astator on March 5th, 2016, 3:53 am

Image

You have several major issues that needed to be addressed before you can continue threading

  • You must list a FULL birthdate. This means a Seasons (Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter) and a date: 1 through 91 (92 for Winter)
  • What apartment in Syliras? Are you talking about a standard 20x20 basic starting house? if so, please state that and what is included in it (all of that can be found in the starting guide)
  • ]Where was Tillie born? Please list that and her starting city at the top somewhere with the rest of the vitals of your character.
  • Siege Crossbow is not a skill. You are looking for Weapon(Siege Crossbow)
  • Judging from the fact that you have cashed in housing, the above point about housing should be about a room at the Inn. Please list this and deduct the price from your ledger.
  • Please list ALL threads and skills you have earned had from your previous Winter 515 season and remember to mark the seasonal expenses you have listed as Winter 515 for future reference. This is required.
  • This is not an error however: Take a look at the Character Sheet Templates found in this forum for coding and clarity and and if you want please take the time to make your CS cleaner and more legible.

Once you have fixed all the errors, please message me via the little envelope to the left underneath my name and let me know.

Thank you!
Astator
Which way do you want to go? Up or Down?

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She said down...


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User avatar
Astator
Helping Hands.
 
Posts: 238
Words: 101175
Joined roleplay: January 30th, 2013, 3:34 pm
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