[Issues found by Astator] Valina

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Valina

Postby Valina on February 10th, 2016, 8:56 am

Valina


Appearance

Race: Inarta
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Birthday: 5, Autumn, 495.
Birthplace: Wind Reach

Appearance: Valina has fiery red hair that is held in a braid which sits on her right shoulder. Her eyes are a blue-green which people say change from the two colours even though it isn’t the case. She is taller than most other females in the Inarta, standing at a well-rounded 5’3”. Her skin is pale, but is considered to be lightly tanned by most who meet her due to freckles covering every inch of exposed skin.

Character Concept

Valina is a collected young lady who is observant, forward-thing and intelligent. She is keen in her sight and can spot the smallest details in her observant nature. This has led to her love of artwork, particularly pieces that have small details that many people either don’t see or don’t appreciate. But she is also anti-social, blunt and hot-headed. As she was always isolated, Valina was never that social. If she was ever to be social, she would always be blunt with any answers and she isn’t very good at controlling her temper. Valina absolutely hates people who push other people’s boundaries, to be specific, her own. She also likes her alone time and when it is one of those times where she needs to be alone her ability to control her anger lowers, so it is best if she is left alone to her own devices. She also likes discovering places that were once unknown to her.

Character History

Valina, in early childhood, was no different from the rest of her family or the community for that matter. She grew up in part of a triplet, being the youngest out of the three as well as the only female out of the bunch. As her parents were Deks, she and her brothers were raised by commoners in a large nursery with other children of their age. As Valina became older, it was evident that she was a throwback, different than the others. Sensing slight resentment among the others, when she reached age fifteen, Valina packed her things and set out away from Wind Reach and out into the wilderness of Kalea. While in the wild, Valina learnt how to manage on her own, using natural intelligence and longbow skills from her years and training to help gather food and avoid danger. Valina also trained herself in unarmed combat in case she didn’t have any weapon with her.
Valina travelled slowly, getting attached to places that had good food sources or places that looked similar to home. She saw no particular need to hurry, except in times when she absolutely had to leave the location she was staying in. This continued for five years and ended when Valina reached Lhavit. Getting tired of constant travelling, she decided to settle down and start a new life in the city.


Language

Fluent Language: Nari
Basic Language: Common
Poor Language:

Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Land Navigation 10 SP 10 Novice
Cooking 5 SP 5 Novice
Observation 10 SP 10 Novice
Unarmed Combat 10 SP 10 Novice
Intelligence 5 SP 5 Novice
Wilderness Survival 10 SP 10 Novice
Longbow 10 RB, 15 SP 25 Competent


Lores

Helpful Lores:
Lore of Lhavit Streetplan
Lore of Lhavitian Culture

Possessions

-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak or Coat
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Bone)
-Brush (Bone)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Kina

Housing

Location: Lhavit

House: Cottage

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 Kina 100 Kina


Thread List

None yet
Valina
Player
 
Posts: 2
Words: 1207
Joined roleplay: February 8th, 2016, 9:42 pm
Race: Human, Inarta

Valina

Postby Astator on February 10th, 2016, 2:57 pm

Image

Hello there Valina, Welcome to Mizahar! There are some issues we need to have you fix before you can continue. Don't worry easy fixes!

Let's start!

  • Going to start with the big one. Your Skills. You are starting with 75 Total Skill Points… No. Just No. You start with 50 Starting Points AND a Racial Bonus. So please adjust this.
  • Are you sure you want Observation as a start skill? It is one of the EASIEST skills to obtain at start
  • You need to state what kind of Environment you are able to survive in with the Wilderness Surivival skill. You start with 1 at Novice
  • Longbow is not a skill, you want Weapon(Longbow) or Weapon: Longbow.
  • In the Lores you can remove the words 'Helpful Lores:'
  • You get only the cloak OR the coat, not both. Choice one.
  • What is in the cottage? This needs to be listed. Can't just say 'Cottage' You can find the starting housing stuff in the Starting Package under Housing.
  • No Heirloom? It isn't required but it is a free item of non-magical original that holds sentimental value and is valued under 50 Gold Mizas. You can look at the [http://www.mizahar.com/lore/Price_List]Price List
for prices. NOTE: Longbows are not heirloom approved.
[*] You need to attach your CS's URL to your profile. You can do that hereand out the URL below in the slot that says 'Character Sheet'
Code: Select all
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic63571.html

[/list]

Once you have completed this, please private message me via the envelope to the left.

Thank you,
Astator
Which way do you want to go? Up or Down?

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She said down...


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Astator
Helping Hands.
 
Posts: 238
Words: 101175
Joined roleplay: January 30th, 2013, 3:34 pm
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