[Note by Astator] Yezi (Constructive criticism is welcome)

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Yezi (Constructive criticism is welcome)

Postby Yezi on July 26th, 2016, 3:20 am

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NAME: Yezi
RACE: Inarta
SEX: Female
AGE: 19
BIRTHDAY: 1st day of spring 497
BIRTHPLACE: Mount Skyinarta

APPARENCE
Yezi manages to stay fit, despite her pale skin and standing only 1,65m tall easily being able to make her look fat. Her red hair and blue eyes make her stand out from the public and even though she doesn't look physically threatening, her persuasive skills help her get what she wants. The most notable features on Yezi however, is her cheeky smile and her lack of bodyhair.

PERSONALITY: Kind and socially smart, but can be a smart ass too
ETHICS: Survivalist (Me 1st)
LIKES: Money, tricking others, direct people
DISLIKES: Work, lies

FLUENT: Nari
BASIC: Common
POOR: Myrian

SKILLS:
Weapon: Shortbow 10sp (racial bonus)
Persuasion 20sp
Brawling 10sp
Wilderness survival (hills) 10sp
Socializing 5sp
Stealing 5sp

LORE:
Lore of human customs
Lore of myrian customs

POSSESSIONS:
Clothing:
Vinati top (part of heirloom)
Bryda pants (part of heirloom)
Sandals
Undergarments
Cloak
Waterskin
Bag:
Set of toiletries:
Wooden comb
Wooden brush
Soap
Razor
Food for one week
Eating knife
Flint & steel

FAMILY HEIRLOOM:
Inarta vinati & bryda clothing set
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HOUSING: Cashed in for 500 gold rimmed mizas

LEAGER: 600 gold rimmed mizas
User avatar
Yezi
NEWBIE
 
Posts: 3
Words: 393
Joined roleplay: July 25th, 2016, 8:48 pm
Race: Human, Inarta
Character sheet

Yezi (Constructive criticism is welcome)

Postby Astator on August 20th, 2016, 8:59 pm

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Welcome to Mizahar! There are a few errors with your character sheet so lets get started

  • Please edit the title of your CS so it is just your character's name.
  • Please take the time to run your CS through a word processor that can handle grammar and spelling issues. I can understand if your native language for writing and speaking are not English, however most word processors (Like Google Docs, Microsoft Word, LibreOffice Writer, and OpenOffice Writer, as well as the ones found on Apple products) are all capable of handling typo errors.
  • How did Yezi learn the Myrian language? Being from Wind Reach that is a little hard to do.
  • Your Lores are TOO Broad, what specific do you know about their cultures? Human Culture is quite broad and expansive. Same with Myrian. Again, how did you learn them?
  • Where do you reside? If in Wind Reach you cannot cash in your housing and live in say a tent. There are no inns in Wind Reach. All Inarta are given a caste and a place to live. As Taloba is closed you cannot start there either (as your Myrian information seems to lean that direction)

Once you have completed what I have asked please let me know via Private Message.

Thank you,
Astator.
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Which way do you want to go? Up or Down?

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She said down...


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Astator
Helping Hands.
 
Posts: 238
Words: 101175
Joined roleplay: January 30th, 2013, 3:34 pm
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