[Issues found by Pentacle] Daffy Bronx

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Daffy Bronx

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 25th, 2017, 3:48 pm

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Daffodil "Daffie" Bronx

Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 9:40 am, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 25th, 2017, 4:17 pm

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Daffodil "Daffie" Bronx

Nicknames: Daff, Daffie
Sex: Female
Age: 18
Birthday: 5th day of winter 498AV
Race: Mixed Blood- Zith/Human
Location: Lhavit
Lodging: The Solar Wind Apartments
Languages: Tukant (Fluent) Common Tongue (Basic) Kontinese (Poor)
Hometown: Riverfall


Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on February 2nd, 2017, 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 4:36 am

Image



appearance

Daff is a lean and thin framed female with a small bust and lanky legs. She stands about 5'8" and weighs no more than 115lbs. Daffy has little to no fat on her, and not a lot of bulk either. Her skin is a light shade of olive, and her freckles run all over her arms and chest. On her back she has two slight stubs of a hard bone-like material where wings would form if she were a full Zith. They are very slight and hide easily under thick or dark materiel.


Her face is very thin and very angular. It is a sharp heart shape and is framed by long and thick lochs or raven black hair. Her hair grows wild, and is hard to put a brush through. It falls down to her shoulder blades. Her eyebrows grow very thickly as well, and she is forced to pluck them otherwise hair might grow across her nose. Her eyes are deep set, and look as black as her hair in most lights. When a light is shined at them you will see they are a very dark, brown colour. Her mouth is tiny and petite, and you will rarely see her open it, but if you do, you will notice her teeth are quite sharp and pointed.

Daffy tends to hold herself quite small and doesn't call too much attention to herself. She weirs cloths in either dark grey's, blues or faded pink's and creme colours, nothing too bright or with a loud pattern on it. Usually the outfit she tends to buy is rather soft.


Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on February 2nd, 2017, 12:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 5:57 am

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Personality

Daffie is a passive and soft spoken girl. She likes to be on her own and hates huge groups of people. She wants to live a life that is full, and not empty, so she makes it her goal to learn as many skills as she can. She is extremely creative, and likes to share her passions with others. She doesn't deal very well with confrontation and tends to shy away from it, retreating into her shell mostly choosing to run and hide rather than fight. She makes friends easily when it is one on one, but in a group she tends to fade into the background.

Daffy is a huge perfectionist. She works hard and never does her work seem to be good enough. She is forever getting frustrated and starting again, and doesn't like time limits. Daffie has a constant, draining fear of rejection, and it makes everything she does in life very unnecessarily hard. Making friends that last is difficult for her because she tends to expect too much of herself and is often in a 'mood' because of it.

Daffie is far to negative, and self critical. but she see's beauty in everything else. She thinks people are beautiful to watch and observe from a far, but she doesn't know how to interact with them very well. Rarely does Daffie hold grudges, she tends to try and mend things rather than end them. She has never been in love but she hold quite a romanticised idea about the feeling. She doesn't see a difference between genders when looking for a partner either.

Daffie is overall quite a nice girl with skilled hands for her crafts. She is curious and forgiving, kind and soft, but weak and pessimistic. Where will life lead her? Time can only tell...


Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on February 6th, 2017, 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 8:36 am

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History Thus Far

Daffie was dumped on a caravan headed to river fall by her human mother when she was a tiny baby. The caravan arrived at the city within a day and the big Akalak men heard her cries and noticed her that night. Around her neck was a simple chain with a wooden pendant. Upon the pendant the name 'Daffodil Bronx born 5th of Winter 498AV,' And a little picture of a daffodil. There was no letter or explanation, leaving the men rather stumped as to where she'd come from. They took her to Riverfall where she was put into the orphanage.

She was very disliked growing up. Her sharp teeth drew the attention of the other kids and staff and so did the undeveloped subs on her back. Kids went as far as to lift up her top and pull on them. They called her shark teeth, and Zith baby and other such names. Because of this she mostly kept to herself and draw in a little sketchpad. She had a diary that was always littered with artwork. Every week the kids were payed a little bit of pocket money and she would spend them on pencils. No one wanted her because she was very scrawny and very different.

Eventually when she was nearing 13 years of age a Pregnant Konti woman met her on the streets when she had arms full of bruises and after asking where she lived, decided that she'd come home with her. Daffie loved her new 'mother.' She threw out the little wooden pendant that said her name, because she didn't need anything from the mother that had abandoned her. She learnt many things from her new home. She learnt how to sing, and how to play the fiddle, she learnt how to write poetry and a how to paint on an easel. Daffie was so happy there.

But The Konti lady had a husband whom she disliked. She tried real hard to like him, but he was very rude to her all the time. He made fun of her heritage, as if she could help it or as if it defined her. She caught him a couple times fighting with his partner about her being here. When Daffie turned seventeen she figured it was time to say goodbye. She had made friends with a small group of people who were planning on traveling to Lhavit. With them, she blended in, wrapped a scale around her mouth that housed her razor sharp teeth and started again somewhere new.

She made it to Lhavit on her birthday this winter, and got herself an apartment and is ready to find herself some work.


User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 9:32 am

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Daffodil's Information

Skills & Lore :
Skill List


Skill | XP Gained | Totall XP

Singing | 10XP (Starting Pack/SP) | 10XP
Instrument: Fiddle | 10XP (SP | 10XP
Painting | 10XP (Racial Bonus) 5XP(SP) | 15XP
Cooking | 5XP (SP) | 5XP
Endurance | 10XP(SP | 10XP
Drawing | 10XP (SP) | 10XP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lore

Lore of City: Riverfall
Lore of Race: Konti


Items & ledger :
Inventory

Clothing and Grooming

1 white blouse
1 long pastel blue skirt
1 pair of boots
Undergarments
1 black winter jacket
1 pair of navy pants
Image



1 stick of Kohl & 2 lip pomades
1 brush
1 block of Soap
1 razor

Pet(s)

N/A

Weaponry

N/A

Instruments

1 Fiddle

Food

Mixed Rations for a week

Money

100GM

Other

1 eating knife
1 diary (Heirloom)
1 waterskin
4 Paintbrushes (Tiny, Sml, med and lrg)
1 wooden pallet

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ledger


Item | Cost/Gain | Total Money

Starting Package | +100GM | 100GM
Fiddle | -50GM | 50GM
4 Brushes (Tiny, small, Med and lrg) | -6SM 4CM
| 49GM 3SM 96CM
1 wooden pallet | -2SM | 49GM 1SM 96CM
Kohl | 1SM | 49GM 96CM
2 Lip Pomade's | 2SM | 48GM 8SM 96CM
1 pair of navy pants | 8SM | 48GM 96CM


Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on February 8th, 2017, 11:44 am, edited 3 times in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx -WIP-

Postby Daffodil Bronx on January 31st, 2017, 9:37 am

Image



Daffodil's Thread List

Hunting for Knowledge
Winter 12th, 516AV
(Ongoing)

Wintersong
Winter 30th, 516
(Ongoing)
Last edited by Daffodil Bronx on February 8th, 2017, 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx

Postby Daffodil Bronx on February 8th, 2017, 4:01 pm

Image Relationships

Family

- L'oril
Kind, artistic, soft-spoken

Daffy's Adoptive Mother. Someone Daffy Idolises. She taught her how to cook, to sing, to paint and to play the fiddle. She also taught Daffy all her moral and many times stopped her from trying to kill those who bullied her. Daffy's biggest influence.


Sanous
Loud, Hot-Headed, Protective

Daffy's Adoptive father. Daffy doesn't hate him, but she doesn't like him either. He was often rude to her, and quite clearly expressed his wish that she wasn't there, but he took care of Daffy's mother and loved her with all his heart, so for that Daffy is happy.


Sanil
Hyper, Messy, Intelligent

Daffy's (Adopted) younger brother. He is a loud child like his father, but very intelligent and a fast learner like his mother. Daffy never got to spend too much time just with the toddler, but she does hope she will meet him again when he's older. He is currently 5 in one seasons time.


Friends


TBD


Strangers

Estrellir Konrath
Pretty, Curious, interesting

An interesting stranger, currently


Disliked


TBD

User avatar
Daffodil Bronx
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 12045
Joined roleplay: December 18th, 2016, 11:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

Daffy Bronx

Postby Pentacle on March 6th, 2017, 1:40 am

Image
µ Hello! Welcome to Mizahar! µ

I hate putting down the red X's, but as a half-zith growing up in Riverfall, it would be very difficult to survive. Otherwise, I thought Daffodil was quite well rounded with strengths and flaws and with an interesting history. Below are the issues found (mainly the second one):

1. Image size: Some of your pictures are very large and overwhelming (eg. Opening picture, and picture for “Personality” section). Strongly consider making them smaller, or at least crop them so they aren’t as tall.

2. Half-zith race in Riverfall: Please note that zith are strongly hated in Riverfall, and half-zith if found out, are treated almost just as badly. Under Races and Race Relations in the Riverfall Codex it states:
“Mixed Blood: See each part of the combination for reaction. Part Syms and Part ziths fall under full blooded status for the purpose of Riverfall’s viewpoint and these individuals are executed on sight.”

Please revise your history substantially to protect her identity as a half-zith (or choose another city to grow up in). Maybe she needs some points in disguise, or she arrived when she was older and not a baby, or she had help from someone. Consider it carefully, since it’ll be a hard sell.


Once you have made the necessary changes, please PM / Private Message me (using the envelope button) and I'll remove this intervention. I'm also happy to answer any questions you may have.

µ µ µ
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Pentacle
CS Liaison
 
Posts: 29
Words: 17410
Joined roleplay: October 31st, 2016, 3:11 am
Race: Staff account


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