[Issues found by Luminescence] Naope

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Naope

Postby Naope on March 5th, 2018, 7:35 am

Name: Naope [/color]Race: Inarta Gender: Female
Age:19 (Birthdate is the season of Winter, day 54, 499.)
Languages: Nari (Fluent) Common (Basic) Isurian (Poor)

Physical Appearance: Long, burgandy hair that flows down her back is likely to be the first thing one would notice, she weighs nearly 180 lbs (82 Kilograms) and is 4'9". Although her weight is a bit high for her race, she isn't what one would consider "fat", she does have some bulk to her, and she has extra weight in her stomach, as she is often exploring the colder environment away from the volcano-city of her people. Additionally, looking closely one could see that Sarah is very toned and also muscular, particularly so on her arms and legs, a result of being a huntress. For all the weight, however, she is surprisingly short, standing at only 4'9".

Home region: Wind Reach, Kalea.

Character concept: Sarah is driven largely by wanderlust and a desire to be the best huntress she can be, while also balancing her responsibilities in her tribe. Trying to do both is complicated and difficult, so every now and then she will just. Leave. Go on for awhile, see as much as she can, do as much as she can, and try to do at least one new thing. When she comes back, she typically goes on a large hunt, not stopping until she has collected a decent amount of meats and furs. She brings home a decent portion of meat for the tribe after these hunts, sometimes as a cover for leaving, sometimes as an apology for leaving, the reason largely depends on if she knows she cannot get away with simply saying she wanted to hunt alone that day. Ideally, Sarah would be able to leave and make a home off of the volcano, away from the city, able to hunt more and trade with the tribe to keep the comforts of both of the lives she wants to lead. Although she is as outspoken as any of her race, she does not voice these thoughts nearly as much as others, as she would rather not deal with the constant punishments and lectures such thoughts generally provoke.

Equipment: Clothing (A brown bryda, kept plain despite Sarah's relatively high rank, so that she can be as quiet as possible while on a hunt. Occasionally, it may have some form of paint to better conceal her in whatever environment she is hunting in. A similarly brown-and-possibly-painted-occasionally Vinati, styled to be similar to a tank top, although the key difference between the clothing styles is that the Vinati has metal on it. It is ornate, as most Vinati with metal is, and Sarah also wears a brown Sontav. She wears ankle-high leather boots, which are black, and a Katinu, if it is cold wherever she is, which is also black.) *Picture of Katinu as best as I can find*



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One waterskin, food for a week, one backpack, comb, brush, razor, soap, one eating knife, flint and steel. Family Heirloom: Sarah has her mother's shortbow, given to her when she was old enough to train with one, and has been kept in usable condition since. 100 Glass Pinions.

Housing: Sarah lives with her falcon in a single cottage near the edge of Wind Reach.


Lores: Lore of Inarta culture, Lore of Falcon training.


SKILLS!!!:
Skill Points Level
Weapon: Shortbow 10 Novice
Falconry 20 Novice
Survival: Wilderness-Mountains 10 Novice
Last edited by Naope on March 14th, 2018, 2:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
Naope
Player
 
Posts: 2
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Joined roleplay: March 5th, 2018, 5:21 am
Race: Human, Inarta

Sarah, Avora Huntress

Postby Luminescence on March 5th, 2018, 9:35 am

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Let me shed some light on the situation

Welcome to Mizahar, Sarah! I'm Luminescence, and I'm here to help. Before you can continue, there are some things with your CS that need to be corrected.

*Your CS: Your character sheet should simply be your character's name with no extra title.

*Your name: I mentioned this in my welcome post to you, but your account name should also simply be your character's name. If 'Sarah' is taken, you're more than welcome to play around with the spelling or to add a last name to the account.

*Your race: Probably a small typo, but the race is 'Inarta'.

*Your birth date: You must include a birth date for Sarah; this should include the day, season, and year. It's currently spring 518 AV.

*Your lores: You are allowed 2 lores; it is up to you, but you may want to pick ones more relevant to your skills, since you have no experience in boowing&fletching. I also suggest you list your lores before or after your skills rather than at the top of your sheet.

*Your languages: Please pick another poor language; humans are incapable of speaking Jamourian. Make sure whatever language you choose makes sense with your history!

*Your appearance: Please choose whether Sarah is 5'4" or 4'9".

*Your history/concept: Sarah would not be an Avora; Avora are artisans, and Sarah has no skills that could be considered a craft or art. It's been brought to my attention that hunters are also considered Avora; apologies for my mistake. I'm also confused as to where Sarah is 'leaving' to; the wilds of Mizahar are incredibly dangerous, and Kalea is almost entirely composed of mountains. She wouldn't get very far, particularly with low wilderness survival skill.

*Your location: Unfortunately, Wind Reach is closed, meaning while your character could have been born there, you cannot currently play there. Currently open cities in Kalea are Alvadas and Lhavit; outside of Kalea there is Ravok, Sunberth, Riverfall, and Syka.

*Your items: You must pay for Sarah's falcon; the only items you automatically start with are the starting package items, and your heirloom of choice. You may also want to consider purchasing some arrows. Since you can't start in Wind Reach, you need to change your pinions to gold mizas.

*Your skills: The archery skill should be named 'Weapon: Shortbow'. Survival should be 'Wilderness Survival', and you must pick a biome; I suggest mountains if you plan on staying in Kalea. Skills should be listed in alphabetical order, and in a table that shows where they were obtained as well as what competency they are at; SP indicates starting package, and RB indicates racial bonus. Ex:
SkillPointsTotalCompetency
Acrobatics5 SP, 15 RB20Novice


*Other: Don't forget to link your CS to your profile! You can do this through the user control panel.

Please PM me once the above changes have been made so I can remove this intervention; if you have any questions, don't hesitate to message me or find me in chat!
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