Morning Ecstasy [Arabella]

by **Eldon Sunkiss** on February 3rd, 2011, 7:42 am

The change had caught him so far off guard that he felt he wasn't even sure who she was, what were her motives. She claimed she wanted to help him, but something didn't seem logical with provoking his temper like this. It was as if she was masochistic now. But he knew better than that. She had a method that he couldn't decode, perhaps if he had been a spectator rather than the test subject it would be different. But he was too upset, shaken to think straight. His eyes closed as her hand chased away that lone tear falling down his cheek, he exhaled a quick deep breath. He nodded slowly, slowly as she spoke of dispelling his grief, his anger, his anguish, to cast it away in any way imaginable. He wasn't sure how, not yet, but he would find something. Something that was neither dangerous for her, nor anyone else. He was better than to do something so careless to another, a friend. "I'll find something to get rid of this. But no, I don't want this, I never have." Eldon glanced at her arm, she was rubbing it vigorously trying to force the pain away, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He was hurting her now, given she was provoking this. He would have a hard time allowing himself to forget this now. Eldon just stared, the color was already there, already a bruise was there, but what he did, though wasn't aware of his actions until now that it was visible, made him feel sick, guilty, villainous. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Eldon jumped lightly as her cool hands crawls around his body, resting on his body. He jumped, as if her touch had already become odd, cold, unfamiliar. It was different. Her forehead also rested against his bare chest. He even felt his own lower, resting on the top of her head. He inhaled slowly, taking in the scent that lingered in her hair, the smell of Arabella. It calmed him, soothed him, embraced him just as her arms grasped his body. He lifted his hands to her shoulders, now clothed where they weren't earlier. His hands tightened on the fabric, slowly clenching and unclenching. His nose nuzzled through her hair, gently caressing her scalp, whispering softly to her. [color=tan]"I will let it go. Please be patient with me. I will bury the past." Eldon winced as he felt the cool moist tears fall onto his naked chest. She was crying, either for him, or for them. Eldon continued to just hold her there, he didn't want to let go, he didn't want her to ever return to the Starweaver Pavilion. No, she could stay here. He survived well, earned well, he could support the two of them with ease. Would such an image really be impossible to achieve? No, it wasn't. If you want it, claim it. She said so herself, but there had to be some discipline. Some moderation. Eldon gasped the hair for a moment. "I am happy to be here, in your arms. Forgive me for my weaknesses, my angers, my sorrows. I know they'll return, but I beg for your patience, and I will bury them."

by **Arabella Starweaver** on February 3rd, 2011, 8:02 am

Arabella shook her head into his chest as he apologized for hurting her arm. ”I deserved it, I pushed to hard, you had every right to do this.” she shrugged her shoulders, it wasn’t a big deal, she was glad he was calmed down and willing to be okay. She hated to see him so tormented, he shouldn’t have to go through it all alone, he should open up to her, but she didn’t want to push it, she had gone way past her luck currently. ”I can be as patient as you need me to be, you just can’t keep holding back, you deserve things, and you should take them. You have to reach out and hold on tight and pray things go alright.” she sighed into him, breathing him in never wanting it to stop. Things had changed, it wasn’t just about sex now, she had forged a real connection with him, but cracking his wall down she had been allowed into his heart, not just his pants. She blushed at the thought, then glanced down at the pants he now wore, such a pity, but she kept her mouth shut. ”We should probably lay down, I don’t want you to hurt yourself further, your injuries are bad.”

Arabella understood what he was feeling, all she cared about was being there with him, and she wanted to hold him close to her forever. She nuzzled her nose against him and leaned her face upwards, there was a faint flicker of hope in his eyes, and that was good enough for her. ”As long as you are happy Eldon, then I will be here with you, I will stay for as long as you want me around, and I’d marry you any day you asked. I’d rather spend forever with you then anything else in the world. I know you will feel better when you let go, and I intend to be there to help you.” she put a hand around his neck and pulled his face closer, kissing him. It wasn’t like the others, it wasn’t feverish or hungry, it was pure passion and love, it was sweet and inviting. ”Just remember how much I love you, and I need you so bad, if there was ever a time I couldn’t have you in my life, I don’t know what I would do.” after everything they had gone through, she knew it was true, she needed him, wanted him, loved him for all she had. To part with him would be painful and would make her die inside. She never wanted to give this man up, a man who made her so happy but so incredibly angry at the exact same time. Every piece of him made her happy, and she planned to make him happy to.

by **Eldon Sunkiss** on February 3rd, 2011, 3:41 pm

The accusations, the insults, the methodical raping of his pride, the shattering of his confidence, and shaken loose the lingering ice on his heart collected from years and years of being who he was. It was a change that wasn't so much painful, as it was unfamiliar. He felt naked, but more than naked. Naked didn't bother him, never did, but this was nakedness with the shyness of the world's most reluctant woman. This unnatural feeling didn't physically ail him, but he felt like he had no strength, no blood in his veins. He was adapting, changing to something, where he always thought the best path of choice was to change everything to him. But he couldn't change Arabella, he didn't want you. She was what he wanted, and if she changed, became a different person, he wasn't sure if that would remain. He slowly shook his head as he looked down at her arm. "I'll never let my anger get the better of me, not towards you, ever again." Still, for her to be so bold as to push him around when he was already on this chaotic emotional ride was gutsy. For her to smack him around, fight him whenever he tried, for fear of physically hurting her, to push her away or ignore her without success. She found something to fight for, something she wanted, she knew what it was, and she wasn't backing down. It was like she had told him. She could talk the talk, but Eldon could see now she was walking it too. Talk the talk and walk the walk. What other girl was so bold as to refuse weakness of inferior strength, that so many believed them to have, and be so damn sexy while she did it? His injuries? Eldon knew she meant his chest, he still had many days until it was healed up, no more pain or inhibition of movement. Just scars. Still, he couldn't help but feel she knew just how hard of a blow she delivered to his pride. He was still proud, he was a Drykas after all, but he felt disarmed now. It was not easy to fight monsters that plagued your mind disarmed. Perhaps the monsters, however, were disarmed as well. Eldon sighed, again he heard her saying he was too weak, too fragile, hurt, wounded. But he nodded slowly. His body did hurt.

Arabella looked up at him, they were close once again. Their rage, which seemed to transfer from one of them to the other in a moment's notice, and spawned from nowhere in a second or two. And now, that intense anger, desperate struggling, was gone. As swiftly and surprisingly as it came, it was gone. It was moments ago he was screaming at her to leave, if she truly didn't want him, his eyes, his body never agreed with his words though. Not until now. His words returned. "Then stay with me. I am happy, struggling with inner conflict, but I want to drop it for you. If you want to be here, then be here when you want. I don't care if your brother finds out, you can stay here all day, all night, whenever you want. I will get them to accept me as a suitor. I will force them to let us be together. I will find a way. We don't have to do these secrets, we don't need to sneak around and hide. If you want to be as bold as to do it outside, right in front of everyone, I will f-" Eldon was in mid sentence, ranting but not out of anger, when she looked upwards, and kissed him. Eldon felt the wind sucked right out of his lungs as his eyes closed. If, for some reason, that kiss would have ended his life, in all the lives to come he would never regret it. When Arabella broke the kiss, Eldon almost pushed right back for it, then he snapped out of it, containing his urges once more. "I couldn't forget if I tried."

Then, like she suggested earlier, Eldon slowly moved away from Arabella to take a seat on that cool grass. The morning chill had long faded, as a soft, albeit comfortable, warmth had consumed the full blown day of Endrykas. Eldon sighed with relief, as he already felt so much better to be off of his feet. Then looked up at Arabella with dark hazel eyes and a soft smile that hinted, only slightly, at physical pain. Was she pleased at what she did to him? It was hard to believe they met only last night, shared two moments of powerful passion, one they only remember bits and pieces of, and the other... Eldon was afraid that, maybe, she was only this attracted because it was her first (and second) time with him. What if she eventually cooled down from him, realizing all this was nothing but a spur of the moment romance that tickled her mind with teasing thoughts that would not last? Eldon didn't want to think of that, didn't believe it, but still, subconsciously, he knew there was at least a remote possibility of it.

by **Arabella Starweaver** on February 4th, 2011, 2:08 am

She had never been one to be soft, fragile around people, but that was how he made her feel. All her rage towards him was only to prove something to herself, that she could be better, bolder. She wanted to help him fix his saddness, but she also didn't want him to keep thinking she was weak, or that at any point during their lives together he could control her. Arabella was tired of being controlled, tired of men thinking they were better and stronger then she. She wasn't one to just back down from a challenge, and maybe that's why she loved him so, he was challenging, ever changing in his ways, and full of hurt and anger. She believed he would never physically hurt her, but what if he grew tired of her games? What if he decided a strong woman was to much to deal with, that he would much rather have a life with someone more obedient? Arabella was unsure she was willing to be like that though, even for him, she was proud of who she was, proud that she was strong and commanded respect because she truly deserved with all she had been through in her life. She wouldn't willingly give that up for just anyone, but what about Eldon? Should she back down to him and just let things be? Be the perfect lover, the perfect wife? She was confused, she never knew how to act around people to begin with, but she had always been sure of herself, sure of her place in her world, but it wasn't hers anymore, it was shared, it was their's.

"I would like nothing more then to stay here with you and never leave, you know that, but I don't think it would be right. Putting things in jeopardy could pose many problems, and you'd get bored with me much quicker." he said he loved her, but for how long? Surely he didn't mean it, not someone like her who challenged his every word, his every emotion, no he loved her passion for now, but what about later? What about when things got to stressful and annoying for him? Would he love her then too? Arabella didn't think so, so just figured he felt this way for the time being, that he would sooner or later get over her and want someone new. "I don't want you to fight people over me Eldon, really. I can choose what I do, who I'm with, and if I can't, then I will do it anyway. I have no reason to be afraid of them." this was true, she was old enough to make her own decisions, she had come of age to do so at 16 years of age, she should be able to choose who she was with, regardless of it ruining her reputation. Promiscuous women had bad reputations, didn't often get married off to anyone because no one would have them, but it was worth being with Eldon even for a few short weeks if it meant being alone forever.

Arabella sat next to him, still lost in her own thoughts and stared at the ground sadly. Looking up after a few minutes she layed her head on his shoulder and sighed, she was so tired, how long had it been since she last had a good sleep, she couldn't remember to save her life. Around him she never wanted to sleep though, she wanted to stay awake and be with him for as long as possible until she had to leave for her own home. Her home...she hadn't thought about returning to it since she got here, she was faintly aware that she would need to at some point, but it would be so hard to leave him. At least Eldon would get a break from her, he could be on his own again and rest and lead his life until he saw fit to have her back. "So...when do you want me to leave?" she asked it with a large amount of noticeable sadness in her voice.

by **Eldon Sunkiss** on February 4th, 2011, 7:21 am

Eldon nodded. The thought of staying there forever was amazing, but it wasn't realistic, not even close. "I know. I want that to be a possibility, more than anything right now. I want that as much as you do, need it even more perhaps, but... It's not wise to think like this, not yet." Eldon gave her a sharp look as if he expected her to again go full verbal assault against him. She, accused him of getting bored with her, and even though that in itself was logical, it stung. He was emotional, not logical. "I wouldn't" But how could he say that, he didn't know better. He was hormonal, desperate to fill the hole his father's death left, logic wasn't given much room. "If I don't fight for you, then what do I fight for? You said to take what I really wanted, to fight for what I really need. Why not for you?"

Eldon coughed lightly, the small jump of his body caused a tremor of pain to rattle his ribcage. He winced, audibly grunted. He wasn't bleeding, not anymore. Denen had been taking good care of him. Eldon was surprised to find that Denen was such a good healer. Sam was lucky to have both him and Dymphna, two healers so close to him. Eldon looked next to him, Arabella had sat there, but stared down at the ground. He sighed heavily. "When do I want you to leave? Or when do I think you should leave?" Of course the answer to her question was obvious. He didn't want her to. As much as they hated to admit it, though, it was necessary. They did have to separate, they probably should have already. They were clinging to each other far too much already. This was ridiculous, like they were no more than teenagers eager to make love, confess love, make more love, promises of commitment, etc.

Eldon reached over and grabbed the large fur blanket and pulled it over himself and Arabella. He was so tired, physically, emotionally, his body was so batter from serious wounds, and other superficial, recently-acquired ones. He lowered his head, his eyes closing for a moment. He could fall asleep right there if he was willing. If she would just, do the same, if she could, if she were allowed. His eyes cracked open slowly as he looked back at Arabella, who was now leaning against him, her head on his shoulder. He was silent, not eager to disturb this.

by **Arabella Starweaver** on February 4th, 2011, 7:42 am

She understood what he meant, it wasn't the right time for her stay with him forever, but she did want to. Even if he did get bored with her, she would never tire of him, never tire of all that they shared. They always had the sex to fall back on, she thought it impossible that would ever get boring. This thought made her face turn bright red, it was true, but it was awful to think, but it was sexy as well. How that could ever get boring she didn't know, it was so thrilling and exciting and she didn't think she would ever not want it. Why would he fight for her though? He had so much going on in his life, so many things to do and time to take up doing it, did he want her in his way? She was ever present, always yelling and trying to encourage people to do more then they should, is that what he really wanted? "Well Eldon, if you want to fight for me I would not only be happy, but I would be honored. But I don't want you to do just because you feel you should, or that you need something to focus on other then what lies ahead for you. I want to be what you want, make no mistake about that, but if I'm not then I don't expect you to do it. I'm happy just being with you, even if it's only as a play toy." that made her sound like a piece of meat, on object rather then a person. Was she really so in love with him that she would take up that roll? Probably. Knowing this hurt her pride more then anything, but she knew it to be true, she just wanted to be with him in one way or the other. She would be honored if he would fight for her to be his wife, honored to have been with him and only him for the rest of her days. Arabella would stand by him like no other woman would stand by a man, faithful, loyal, true, and ready to fight for him at a moments notice.

She felt the tremor and was worried, but didn't life her head, she knew he was alright, and to ask him would upset him and make him think she thought he was weak once more. It was the opposite of true, all he had been through lately, with his father's death looming over his head like that, and to still be alive and trying to fight back, he was so strong. Inner strength was a beautiful thing, just like Eldon, beautiful. Arabella only hoped she could make things easier for him, lift some burden from his shoulders so that he might have a more peaceful future. "Both I suppose." she didn't really feel like hearing the answer, she didn't want to leave, and if he didn't answer then she didn't half to, and if he didn't tell her why she should, she could be ignorant to the reality of things. She liked this idea, just pretending that things could stay this way forever, but was that all it was? Was it pretend? She had to know if that's how he felt, even if it meant looking foolish or needy. "Eldon..."she spoke so softly, it was just barely audible, but loud enough he could hear her "Is this, what we are doing, what we want to, is it real? I mean...I know what happened really happened, but the promises, the loving words and feelings...is it really there or is it just imagination playing tricks on us? Do you really want us to be together, or is that just to say for now, to tell me to keep me complacent and pacified?" she hated to ask these things of him, but she felt she should know the truth before she went around with all the love in her heart, flitting about Endrykas in her daze. She knew what she felt was real, and she knew she wouldn't stop feeling this way, but would he? He had been through a lot in these last few days, maybe he was using her for comfort. "If all I am to you is an escape from reality, or something to make you feel better after your father's death and your heart break, I'd like to know, I'm attached to you as it is, and it will be hard to deal with, but to feel this way, and not have it truly returned will be much worse..." she let her voice trail off, ashamed of herself for prying into his feelings once again.

The blanket was a welcome warmth, she shivered a little, how could she not have known she was so cold until she had something to warm her? Arabella snuggled herself into, into him, she could remain this way, it would be welcome. It was what she truly wanted, to be here with him like this, even without the heat of their passion, if it never happened again, if she could remain this way, she would be happy. More then happy she would be perfectly at ease.

by **Eldon Sunkiss** on February 7th, 2011, 3:03 am

"I'm not a child anymore Arabella. It's been a long time since I had toys. I want a woman, a very... specific... woman." Eldon whispered softly in Arabella's ear, but of course, there were concerns.

Sex, that's what it all started with. Sex, sex, if you exclude the booze before hand of course. But sex is how this bond started, it was their emotional weaknesses. Eldon was depressed, lost his father, searching for something, anything to fill the void. Booze was the original intention, the sex only happened to be convenient and too pleasurable to pass in that state. But what about Arabella? She mentioned a few times already that this was her first (and now second) time. That meant, obviously, that Eldon had snatched one of the most sacred things to a woman. Her purity, virginity. Whether she felt she gave it to him, whether she felt he deserved it or not, it was his now. He would, of course, hold tremendous emotional dependency on him. And what was he doing now? Now that he was sober? Now that they were both sane and somewhat logical? Well, Eldon took her again. Her second time. He was primal, hungry, and preyed on her new found emotional bond to him. Was that wrong? Definitely. Was she going to accept his apology? She probably wouldn't recognize any wrong doing on his part, unless he tried to break the relationship before it truly began. Eldon should have explained it, taken the blame. He should go find Kayiri, immediately, and beg for forgiveness and tell how he took advantage of his sister.

But he couldn't. He felt the same emotional pull towards her as she did him. He felt a smile creep upon his faith, and he knew it was wrong to keep going, but long ago he decided to love her, to force himself to do it. If he led her to believe he had, he wasn't going to be an even bigger scum and leave her there, broken in her misled assumptions. Even if he did someday lose interest in the sex or find another he believed he wanted more, he wouldn't. It was a secret vow that he would stay faithful, forever to her, since this was all his fault. "Well, the answer is that you should have left this place long before I even brought you here, but that's already too late. This started out in foolishness. However, I can't say that I want you to leave until you want to." Eldon heard his name, barely whispered, then she proceeded to ask him the very thing that had been spinning around in his head without mercy. Was this real? This was Eldon's chance to admit it was a mistake, it shouldn't be pursued. But he didn't, he couldn't, didn't want to. "I do want you here with me. I want to kiss you, now, tomorrow, in all four seasons of the year. I want to keep you warm when your cold, and be there and rinse the heat from your body when you want to be chilled. I want to feel your skin against my own, to see your eyes, and your eyes to see me. It's true that, maybe, we're too emotional to think straight, but I want to make this work."

The blanket was comforting, his body was lightly chilled, the sweat had proven to cool him considerably now that he was no longer generating significant heat. From sex to enraged aggression, he was hot blooded and fiercely warm, but it all was drained now. She was leaning against him, warming his body with her own. Eldon still didn't understand how everything moved so swiftly in the opposite direction as soon as they had separated.

by **Arabella Starweaver** on February 7th, 2011, 3:29 am

She wasn't sure she trusted his words, how could she? He had some secret held behind he wasn't sharing and it frustrated her. Peering at the floor she contemplated confronting him, but at the same time she didn't want to, it could ruin this perfect image she formed in her head. Arabella wasn't willing to give up her dream, but she wasn't willing to stay there if he was lying to her. She should get out while she still had the chance to recover from all of this. She pulled away from him then, letting the warmth they had been sharing die as quickly as it had come. She moved over a little bit and hugged her knees to chest, still looking at the ground. Should she speak? No, probably not, but he would be confused as to why she had just moved off so suddenly. "Uhm, I was warm." this was a lie, which was obvious since her skin was turning a blueish color from being so cold. She hugged her shirt to her body, hoping for any excess heat to grace her.

His eyes betrayed his words, they looked so cold as he spoke to her of love and her being with him. Love wasn't something anyone should lie about, and she had to wonder if maybe she had lied to. She doubted it though, what she felt was there, and her body craved it and not in a lustful way. Arabella sighed softly and closed her eyes, maybe if she kept them shut long enough she would wake up from this nightmare. How anyone could bare not knowing such things she would never understand, it made her angry to think that she had been lied to, but still she refused to speak. She must look so foolish to him, sitting there telling him how much she loves him and wants to be with him. Sex. Sex was how this all started and so was drinking, that was the last time she would ever drink. She vowed this to herself, she wouldn't wake up in some strangers bed and fall for his trickery, not ever. "We both know this is foolish and it's a lie, its fine to admit it, I can see it all over you face. Its just sex, and sex is nice and fun, and you are welcome to have me come around to do it again, but don't lie to me, not ever." she looked up finally, her eyes were almost black, you could see her anger towards him. It was a new anger, an anger spewing from embarassament and the feeling of being used, but mostly because she was hurt that for a few hours she actually believed he loved her. "I don't need you to love me Eldon" she spit his name out of her mouth like it was poisoned. "Its just for fun, admit it and accept it and then move on, its not like it matters. I need no man to love me, I'm capable of taking care of myself and my own problems. Don't do the noble thing because its the right thing to do, just move on. Even if you just forget me, it really won't matter." this was untrue, but she cared very little at that time about what she said to him. She stood up and moved towards the door, not looking at him. she stopped for a moment and looked around, she wanted to make sure she didn't leave anything behind.

The sun stung her eyes, they had gotten used to the dimness of the Sunkiss Pavilion, she stood at its entrance and looked around, unsure of where she should go first. Going home would be the logical answer, but what would she tell them. Arabella crossed her arms, gazing around, it wasn't until she felt them get wet she realized she was crying...again. She ran a little bit, she was quick on her feet, until she tripped, her vision blurred. She covered her face with her hands and just sobbed, making horrible choking sounds. She wasn't even sure where Eldon was, or if he had watched her run off, she felt so hurt and sad. Numbness began to take over, and for once, she welcomed the feeling, needing it now more then ever. Her anger continued to gnaw at her, making her so angry she punched a tree in front of her, blood spewed, she had ripped open her knuckles. "Oh just great, what else could go wrong, honestly." she was so angry, she just watched the blood drip down her wrist onto her forearm.

by **Eldon Sunkiss** on February 10th, 2011, 5:26 am

Eldon was apparently a terrible liar, yet he was convinced that his words were believed. Hell, he believed them to a certain extent. Not even Eldon could believe that Arabella bought it though. She was shutting down on him, moving away from him. Eldon didn't get it, one moment she said she would be anything for him, even though he didn't want to hear that, and the next she was becoming eerily silent because of what he said. He wanted her to be around, he said so, wasn't that what she wanted to hear? Wasn't that what she wanted to believe? Why, Eldon would forever wonder, was she being so difficult. Warm? Unlikely. Eldon could see her hugging herself to restore whatever warmth she was no longer getting from him. He sighed, wondering if he should be acting as upset about her blatant lies as she was of him. But he wasn't. She was upset over something that made complete sense in her mind. Eldon, only sighed.

To be honest, Eldon was starting to get a little annoyed by her attitude. Her mood was shifting and flailing wildly like a storm over the Suvan. Eldon tried desperately to stay afloat, to keep on the surface, the part where he needed to thrive to live. He tried, but he was failing, sinking, slowly drowning in that water that was her. Eldon lowered his head and closed his eyes, once again he was thinking just how big of a mistake this really was. Eldon just wanted to sit there, he actually wanted her to just shut up, to leave him alone. He could handle one explosion on him, but not two, not this close together. He wasn't used to being around girls. His older sisters were already out, married into other pavilions, his mother died before he ever met her. Women's emotions just didn't make sense to him. He could only react with frustration, or in this case, refusal to acknowledge it. Silence. That's all he offered as she shouted at him. Where she might have drawn him out of something earlier, she was now pushing him back in. He only lifted his eyes when she commanded him not to lie to her. There she went again, believing she had the right to control him, something like that. He scowled momentarily before lowering his head once again. And she ran.

Eldon was surprised to see her practically run from the pavilion as if she was under assault, as if he was coming at her with a knife or poisonous snake. She didn't need him, didn't need him to love her. Didn't need him to try and make her happy. So be it. She didn't need him. But, she ran, she didn't believe her own words. Eldon didn't need to read her eyes as skillfully as she could read his. Her body said everything. She was running from him, not because she wanted to, but perhaps because she didn't want to hear him say what was true. He didn't know if he loved her. Eldon stood up and walked out of the Sunkiss Pavilion. He wasn't going to chase her down, drag her back, or beg for forgiveness. He wasn't convinced he did anything wrong. But he'd be damned if he wasn't going to try something to make this easier on them. It wasn't hard to follow Arabella, she didn't even get far before hitting the ground, striking the lonely tree, and curled up in a fit of crying. Eldon sighed heavily, knowing this was mostly his fault, whether he was truly guilty or not. He walked over to her, not touching her for fear that she was wild and might conjure a bigger scene than she already had. "Hey. Let's make a deal. I'll be honest with you, if you'll be honest with me."

Eldon looked down at the trembling girl. He longed to grab a hold of her, just to comfort her, but if she did mean what she said, it was possibly the worst thing to do. "Here, let's go back to the pavilion. Let me clean your hand. You don't want that to get infected." Eldon extended his hand to Arabella, not even confident that she would accept the hand or help, but he had to try. Today, perhaps, would be the last time they met if this didn't change. Even if he felt like an ass for it.

by **Arabella Starweaver** on February 11th, 2011, 12:02 am

Arabella nodded her head and took his hand. She was choking and tried to breathe through her tears. After about five minutes she relaxed a little and leaned against him, defeated. I'm sorry Eldon, just, I know you're lying and I'd rather you just tell me you don't love me then lie and say you do. I get enough lies from those around me, I don't expect that you do it as well.” she was softer now, letting her guard down in front of him. She didn't like to show weakness generally, but she still felt safe with him, still loved him so much she was willing to over look that he didn't feel the same about her. ”I do love you, I really do, please know that, but just because I truly do, doesn't mean that you have to feel to the same. I will be here in with you regardless, stay with you as long as you will have me for and come to you whenever you wish. Its not a problem.” this was true, and she knew it, and didn't mind it, well not really. She didn't want to let him see how hurt she was by it, but she didn't want him to feel totally off the hook either. He had taken something precious from her, and she would never get it back. ”Besides, some day someone will come along and feel for me what I feel for you, and then we won't have to play this game anymore, and you can leave at any time, be with who ever you want to be with. I don't mind.” this was untrue, she was fairly certain it would kill her if she saw him with another girl, but she didn't care, she would push past it. She also doubted anyone would love her, she didn't have much to offer, and she didn't know much about these types of things. She was stubborn and hard to handle, most men wanted women they could control.

Her eyes darted away from his face as she rose from the ground, clutching her bleeding hand against her. The blood had moved down her arm, she hadn't realized how hard she had struck the tree, but she felt the sting now as the numbness began to wear off. She wished it wouldn't, feeling numb was a welcome gift at this time, and she wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. She banged her arm against him as she moved and she whimpered, it did hurt, more then she thought it would. She suddenly hoped it wasn't broken, how hard had she hit that tree? She was embarrassed, and upset, and now she was in physical pain, being with him was becoming tramautizing now. Arabella smiled at this ”Is it always your intention to beat me up?” she thought teasing him might lighten the mood. He was driving her crazy, and she could tell from the disgruntled look on his face, she was driving him crazy to.

Back at the pavilion she looked around at the disarray they had created. A mess every where you looked, it was chaos, and so were they. She still leaned against him and she could feel the heat of his body against hers, she didn't want to move but she figured she should. She was sad, you could see it in her face, it was the only emotion she held now besides confusion. ”I'm sorry Eldon, truly, I shouldn't have stayed. I...I shouldn't have put you in this position, it was unfair of me to stay here and tease you and bait you into this. You were ashamed and instead of taking advantage I should have left. You don't have to fix my hand, its fine, I will do it once I return home. I won't ask anything of you again I promise.” she made her little speech, staring at the floor. It hurt to tell him she would leave forever, and not speak to him or bother him anymore. She didn't know if she could go a few hours let alone the rest of her life without seeing him, talking to him, being with him like this. ”Of course...should you want me here with you, all you have to do is say so. I'm at your disposal and will make myself readily available to you whenever you wish, without yelling or interruption and without being dramatic, I promise.” she was depressed, she hated to think about being away from her, she didn't want to drive him away with her hot head and her stubbornness, she could change, for him she would certainly try to change at least.