The nameless thing in the water looked at itself, asking itself what it had actually done. She saw and felt with her whole body. The sky above, the depth of the lake below, the canal and alley around her, all entered her mind like a panorama. She asked herself what way she was facing, but realized that she had no face. That's what it meant to "diffuse the sense of body". She no longer had specialized parts meant for different tasks, as every natural being had. No specialized parts meant that she also had no definitive shape. All of her was everything. She was... what could it be called? Total? Universal?
No, not quite there. She was still made up of bubbles, and the bubbles themselves were not universal. They still had the neurons for thinking, the acid for digesting, and the sensitive particles for sensing. The next step had to be somehow making herself a completely homogeneous flow of something that could do those many things, but had no discernible parts itself. The atom. The indivisible. That something was the perfect building block. Unfortunately, she had no idea what kind of substance that could be, and how she was supposed to generate it. Definitely nothing to be found in the natural world - at least not on the surface of it.
As she continued to try to describe and illustrate it in her mind, she found her vocabulary too badly wanting for the words, and her imagination too badly wanting for the pictures. This something was so alien to mundane experience that grasping at it felt like grasping at the moon in the sky. The challenge was so far beyond her intellect that it was already giving her a headache. Well, uh, bubble-ache. I needn't get ahead of myself, she thought, with the internal voice reverberating in a chorus through her.
A stifled shriek brought her back to reality. Being so absorbed in her own thought, she had floated out of her canal without noticing. Rapidly focusing her attention on the source of the sound, she realized that the man she was spying on earlier was standing on the walkway only a meter away, looking straight at her. She couldn't see his expression in the dark, but she saw his auristic corona practically overflow to the brim with all-consuming terror.
Panicked almost as much as he was, Evarista dived below the surface, sinking into the water like a rock and instantly disappearing from sight. She felt her entire bubbly body flush with embarrassment. It felt like someone walked in on her bathing, or something. A very private activity, and perhaps not so wisely done in the public canals... although staying away from the manor was more important.
She returned her attention to the walkway somewhere above. It was empty. The man was already long gone. He didn't wait to see whether the thing he saw would come back, or assure himself that his vision wasn't just a product of the drug he was smoking. The way her senses were constructed in this new form, it turned out that she had trouble perceiving herself. You couldn't very well look at your own eyes, or lick your own tongue. Was she ugly? Scary? Judging by the poor fellow's reaction, that would be an understatement. It was to be expected, though. All things that violate the natural patters are scary and disgusting at best. She already knew that, but she wasn't put off by it. In fact, there even was a certain perverted appeal...
She enjoyed the silky comfort of the deeper water for just a little while longer, feeling how the water flowed through her. The lake permeated It reminded her slightly of bathing, and that pleasant feeling when Hwyn poured a perfectly aimed scoop of water on her head. She wondered for a moment what he would think if he saw her now.
Deciding to turn towards home, she began feeling the exhaustion set in. Not so much physical exhaustion, but her mind felt strangely heavy.
A reversion to the more basic and familiar form of a jellyfish eased the weight. She was back into a "body", where everything was as she was used to. A head, a stomach and some flagella, each doing their own thing. Although there were some major contrasts in how she perceived the world in bubble form compared to normal, it felt like it was only the tip of the iceberg. Without a doubt, countless subconscious switches behaved differently then, in ways she couldn't put her finger on. She couldn't even begin to guess the full extent of it, and what it could mean.
***
Still dazed by the epiphanies of tonight, Evarista returned home and slept heavily and dreamlessly. On the periphery of her subconscious moved strange shadows that weren't there before.