[Note by Luminescence] Torstein Flint

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Torstein Flint

Postby Torstein Flint on October 15th, 2018, 2:49 am

TORSTEIN FLINT

Appearance

Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Birthday: 20th day of Fall, 500AV
Birthplace: x

Image

Torstein stands tall, carrying seventy-seven kilograms of travelled muscle built upon his athletic six-foot frame. A healthy head of golden-brown hair frames his tanned and freckled visage; the sides and back are trimmed short while an appreciable, unkempt tuft typically cascades over his left eye. Light stubble to match his hair grows above his lip and on his cheeks and chin yet don't quite connect to one another. His silvery-grey eyes, sat comfortably within their sockets and shimmering with curiousity, view the world with childlike wonder. Of his more notable features, two scars stand out; one bisects his right brow at an odd angle and the other runs vertically over the right side of his mouth, crossing his thin lips.


Character Concept

Torstein is driven, ambitious, and eager to improve and help everybody he comes across. His sights are set firmly on becoming a Knight of Sylirias, and his outlook has bee modelled in accordance with his ambition. Despite hardship, loss, and sacrifice, a smile remains on his face and a childlike glimmer of inquisitiveness shimmers in his eyes. His moral compass is formed parallel to the stories his father would tell him about knighthood, chivalry, and honour. He prides himself on adhering to these morals, most of which come naturally to him.

His favourite colour is the colour of grass and trees although he doesn’t know the name of it; they remind him of the forests and hills of his home. He greatly enjoys nature and takes every opportunity to immerse himself in such environments, which he feels the most comfortable in. At present, he is equal parts disturbed and exceptionally curious about large cities and towns of which the likes he has never experienced.


Character History

x


Language

Fluent Language: Common
Basic Language: -
Poor Language: -

Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Acrobatics 5 SP 5 Novice
Climbing 5 SP 5 Novice
Endurance 5 SP 5 Novice
Investigation 10 SP 10 Novice
Riding 15 RB 15 Novice
Tracking 5 SP 5 Novice
WEAPON, Longsword 5 SP 5 Novice
WEAPON, Shortbow 5 SP 5 Novice
WILDERNESS SURVIVAL, Forests 10 SP 10 Novice


Lores

x
x

Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Coat
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas

Heirloom

Image

x


Housing

Location: Lhavit

House:

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM


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Last edited by Torstein Flint on October 16th, 2018, 3:37 am, edited 4 times in total.
Torstein Flint
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Race: Human
Character sheet

Torstein Flint

Postby Luminescence on October 16th, 2018, 1:29 am

Image
Let me lend you a guiding hand

Welcome to Miz, Torstein! I'm Luminescence, and I'm here to help. You're on the right track, but there are some things you'll need to fix with your CS before you can begin playing.

*Your birthplace: Please change where you were born, as there are no nameless villages in Mizahar, only the listed cities. The wilds are extremely dangerous and doesn't allow for small towns. I would recommend either Alvadas or Lhavit if you wish to have been born in Kalea, since Kalinor is home to the Symenestra and people do not often leave Wind Reach, and it is mostly full of Inarta.

*Your concept and history: As I mentioned already, there are no small towns in Mizahar, so unfortunately you will have to edit your concept and make some large changes to your history. There are also no cultures that symbolize being a hunter with lines shaved into the hair, though you can make that a personal tradition of his family's if you wish.

*Your skills: Since you have mentioned in your history that Torstein knows how to hunt, I would request that you please take that skill or remove mention of that in your history. Your history should be backed up by the skills you have. You must also specify what animal you know how to ride, in this case a horse; however, I would advise perhaps putting your racial bonus into another skill since Lhavit does not have any horses.

*Your lores: Your lores do not make sense, unfortunately, since Torstein has neither been to Wind Reach nor Syliras; stories can only inform someone of a location so much. I would recommend swapping your lore on Syliras culture to 'Lore of the Syliran Knights', since that seems to be your focus, and perhaps change geography of Wind Reach to geography of Lhavit.

*Your possessions and ledger: Please change your mizas to kina since that is the currency used in Lhavit; it's a 1:1 ratio, with SM equivalent to topaz kina, and CM equivalent to jade kina. You may want to consider purchasing a shortbow and related equipment since you have that skill as well. Also, if you're going to keep track of your money in your possessions as well as your ledger, please keep the total up to date. Unfortunately you cannot reasonably own a horse in Lhavit; there are no stables, and horses do not do well in the city since it is on a mountain.

*Your heirloom: Please specify what type of sword your heirloom is; I assume it's a longsword based on the skill you have. You must purchase a scabbard and belt for it separately since an heirloom can only be one item.

*Your housing: If you are cashing in your housing for the bonus money you must cash in the entire package, horse and tack included, and pay for anything else you wish to own. Also, Lhavit does not permit tent-living within the city; if you are cashing in your housing, you'll have to rent a room at the Solar Winds or an inn. Otherwise, there is permanent housing available as a simple room at the Solar Winds, or as a cottage with a garden at the Okomo Estates.

Once you have made the above corrections, please let me know so that I can remove this intervention. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me or find me in chat!
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