We all make sacrifices.... [Seliarus]

by **Nidassasyae** on February 8th, 2011, 9:21 am

The Sailor screamed as Sel toyed with the dart, pushing it farther into his eye. He struggled vainly against the Dhani's grip, too weakened by fear and pain to truly fight back. He had wanted to look upon the young woman, to touch her: to use her. And he got his wishes, save one. He could look at her, though only through one eye. The frightened man could feel her hands on his, breaking each of his fingers. But she would not be used by him, and that thought comforted her, even as her Bondmate used her as an instrument of torture. It truly comforted her.

"You bitch, I shoulda petched yah, right there n' then!" he gasped, just before the Dhani decided to gouge out his good eye. After that, any words he spoke were indecipherable, woven among the screams and pleadings.

Through all this, Nida watched silently, halting in her progress. His threat did not bother her, not now. She did not mind what Seliarus had said, though ordinarily it might have given her pause. He could protect her, just as she did him. The Kelvic saw that now, though that thought was not an entirely welcome one.

Her eyes moved to follow the rolling eyeball, as it stopped to rest in the sand beside her. That was carrion food, and Nida grinned at the thought of a gull picking it up the next morning.

Seliarus smiled! Caught up in the mindless fervor of the sacrifice, Nida was reduced to no more than the slave she was bred to be. That one smile filled her with elation, and Nida almost floated when she moved closer to the man's face. Like any Kelvic, she took the emotions within her Bondmate, and made them her own. Just as Seliarus was caught up in the sacrifice, so was she. And as he thought nothing of what he did, so did she. Perhaps tomorrow she'd think differently. Perhaps she'd regret it.

Perhaps.

But that was tomorrow. This was now. With a dream-like smile, Nida gagged the sailor. If given no further instructions, she'd simply resume breaking the man's fingers.

by **Seliarus** on February 8th, 2011, 9:53 am

The Dhani walked around the body, on purpose stomping his feet as he did walk. Maybe he wasn’t cutting his skin off, but, for the blind man, who knew nothing what this Monster would dot o him next, was that enough of a psychological torture to begin with. His eyes were bleeding, his face covered with the red life liquid. The blood also soaking the sand beneath him. His fingers were slowly, getting broken, one by one. He wanted to scream, yet he couldn’t. And Sel knew that. Maybe he was tough, but now, he was nothing more but a scared little puppy. That’s what fear did to humans. What fear did to anyone. That’s why the Dhani liked fear. It changed the oh-so-strong warriors into children. Let him speak about what he would have done, or should of. The Dhani simply grinned at him. It was his own fault he didn’t. Then again, he would have never allowed it. No one would actually be allowed. Even if he had to kill every single one who would think about that. And he probably would. Or at least die trying.

In his mind, there were two clear pictures, just of why he was doing this sacrifice. One, was to please the Goddess, who was generous enough to bless him with the Kelvic, and, the other one, to punish this sailor for his doing. The two sides weren’t fighting for domination in him. No, they actually fused into one. Completed him. Kept telling him that this, what he was doing, was the right thing. And he believed.

Maybe, the Dhani grew too attached to his Bondmate, in too little time, but, even if he did, he did not regret it. He wanted, what he thought, was the best for her. He had no idea he was breaking her apart when the peace that their Vantha friend, Nehmay gave, got wrapped around by his own hate. Lust for pain. All he wanted, is that the could fully understand the Kelvic. So, that he could give her a piece of something, she would want. He did not see the bond as enslavement. Rather, he saw the bond as a union. As a relationship, if he could express himself that way. He had feelings for her. He didn’t hide that. All he had was problems expressing them.

He traveled deeper into his thoughts. Yet, he was quite soon brought back, as his Bondmate broke another finger on the Sailor’s hand. With a blink, he went to pick up the remaining needles, and taking one of them out. His screams were now muffed by the cloth in his mouth. He would reach with his foot backwards, trying to kick some sand into the open eye socket, before he would kneel down once more, and pressing the needle on his throat. He would start to stab it repeatedly all over, every stab, creating another hole, from where some blood would erupt.

by **Nidassasyae** on February 8th, 2011, 10:10 am

If Seliarus had shared his thoughts on the Bond with Nida, the Kelvic would have scoffed. He didn't hide his feelings? For a being such as she, his subtle hints were equivalent to silence. She knew nothing of his feelings for her, and their kiss had greatly confused her. Perhaps it meant something, but then again, it could have easily been something done in the heat of the moment. Nida would wait, just as a predator waits for its prey. She'd never ask him about what he felt for her, that just seemed... wrong. The young woman would wait however long it took for him to figure out what he felt, and to express it to her. That was the nature of her side of the Bond. Never demanding, always accommodating.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Almost absently, the Kelvic continued to break the man's fingers. He squirmed, wriggling like a worm on a hook. But the Sailor showed no signs of stopping the struggle. With every broken digit, he gave a muffled cry. But as he felt the sand rub into the delicate skin of his one empty and one blind eye socket, he flailed about in pain, jerking his hand out of her grip.

Nida was close, so close to using her dagger to pin his arm down. But there was nothing to pin it to. The sand would not hold the blade's tip, and the stone certainly would not. She'd just have to try and catch that flailing arm once again.

Her hand suddenly darted out, grabbing him by the wrist. The Sailor gave a small wail, knowing that the brief respite was over. While she might have been more calm than Seliarus in her method of torture, hers was steady, uninterrupted. Uncreative, yes, but she went through her task without pause.

And she was swiftly running out of fingers to break.

by **Seliarus** on February 8th, 2011, 10:46 am

The Dhani released a sigh. The Sailor was weakened. He knew very well the tortured human wouldn't last for much longer. That did sadden him, but, in a way, he didn't felt bad. He managed to do what he wanted to. There isn't any fun in poking a dead corpse with a stick. Sel's ears were pleased. The screams the human made were just what he needed. Yet, enough, as his Mother told him, was enough. No one likes a bragger, or someone who just can't stop himself. Specially not the Goddess whom this sacrifice was made for.

He would peer over at the Kelvic, nodding at her. "You're can now do whatever you want with him... The pain wasss given out. And, I give the honor of the last act...To you." He would say, retreating a few inches back. The sacrifice might of been short, but then again, they had nothing more to do. Sel had no rope, no weapons, other than the needles. And the needles weren't exactly painful, now were they. He gave the permission of the kill. The Sailor was almost dead.

by **Nidassasyae** on February 8th, 2011, 11:14 am

"I... Thank you, Seliarus," The Kelvic said in answer, her voice carrying a faint tremble as she spoke. The excitement, the foreign pleasure that the Sailor's screams had given her, was now fading away. It left her tired and hungry, hungry for the high that the man's pain had given her. But that time was past, now it seemed, another task lay before her.

Nida thought that this might be important, since he had said 'Honor' in his sentence. But her mind could simply not wrap itself around what the last act should be. Was she supposed to do something painful to him? Or simply kill him and be done with it?

No, it couldn't be that. A merciful death was the last thing she wanted to give him, and it seemed to be the last thing anyone should give to a sacrifice.

Not knowing what she was doing, the Kelvic rose up onto her knees. This was a sacrifice to the Goddess, and she supposed that something should be said. Nida did not understand this, but felt that perhaps, it would be a good thing to do.

"Great One, we offer you the blood and pain of this man. We offer you his life." Hardly eloquent, but who expected eloquence from a one year old?

The Kelvic slid her dagger out from its place in her boot, her breathing escalating as she did so. With a quiet hiss, she drove the dagger into the man's chest. Again and again. It rose and fell to an unheard beat, perhaps that of the man's heart? But it never pierced that organ, never ended his life in one quick stroke.

The silvery blade flashed, glistening with ruby blood. Droplets splattered onto her face, but the Kelvic paid them no heed. She wanted to inflict the pain as quickly as possible, before he died.

When at last her ears detected the last shuddering beat of his heart, the young woman stopped. The small blade dropped from her fingers, to fall onto the rough sand of the beach. But she simply just gazed at the corpse, not knowing what to make of it.

Nida'd just killed a man.

Not alone of course, but that thought hardly mattered. She'd ended his life, and yet... felt no regret, as her Vantha friend would have. The Kelvic peered down at the Sailor with a mixture of disgust and confusion on her pale features.

What was happening to her?

by **Seliarus** on February 8th, 2011, 12:45 pm

The Dhani kept observing. Happy as he could be. Not one single mistake was made in the sacrifice. And his Bondmate did everything she had to. After her expression the 'great one' , Sel smiled once again. Siku would be proud. He just knew she would. But, even if she wouldn't be, he was. battling over her doubt like that. impressive and amazing. Coming over her initial fear.

Yet.

She could, and he could not? He would peer over at Nida. That had to change. If he was expecting something from her, the least he could do, is try to make it even. He would come to her, as blood covered as she was, she looked charming. And coming from a Dhani, should mean something. He would offer her his hand, so she could stand up, and, if she would accept it, he'd lead her a bit away from the corpse. Even though both of them would be covered in blood, and sand, it meant little. he would try to take her hands in his, giving them a light squeeze, just so he'd know he had her attention.

He'd take a deep breath, his eyes looking at her's. Yes, he was about to say something. And yes, it looked like he didn't know how to start. "Lisssten..."

"I want, that you know one thing." He would start, before sighing. Nothing could actually stop him from saying that. "From our bond on...We...Haven't really talked. We were alwaysss on the move, and, when we did have time, I never brought thissss up. Ssso, I would like to ussse the opportunity of usss, being alone here.

I I have no real idea on how to epxresss myssself right now, but...I want you to know. That I ... Have feelingss towardss you sssince the bonding. And I don't think it'ss jussst the bonding which caussed it. You're alwayss on mind... Keeping me from ssslipping away, even though you might not really note that. I did, however."

He would, just a faint moment, stay silent. Waiting for his words to take effect. So she would understand. But even if she didn't understand his blabbering before, his next three words would explain everything much better than any explanation found in books.

"I love you." He'd simply state, without any further muttering. "I care for you...And I'm happy you chossssed me assss your Bondmate. I might not gave that impression away before...But, you could probably guessss...I'm not the most open person. Yet, I sssspeak when I have to. And, I jussst want you to know... That bond, or not... I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore." He'd finish. There, that was that. He couldn't think of anything better. he didn't even know how she would react. But, no one could hold it against him anymore. The Dhani finished, his eyes observing her.

by **Nidassasyae** on February 8th, 2011, 1:43 pm

Mutely, the confused Kelvic took his hand, standing up on wobbly legs. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. Contentment? No, that was out. Yes, confusion really had to be the best descriptor for the current chaos that was her mind. Hunger, need, disgust, longing, disappointment, they mixed together to form Nida's emotions. She hated herself for doing what would ultimately lead to Nehsmay's own fear, yet hungered for more of the pleasure that the sacrifice had brought her, if only because she had been created to mirror her Bondmate. But mental exhaustion overtook all other emotions, turning the usually passionate Kelvic into a quiet and timid version of herself.

Nida could feel her hands taken in his, and the gentle squeeze that served to ensure her attention. Numbly, the young woman looked up into Seliarus' face. Like hers, it was covered in the Sailor's lifeblood. Her eyes traced over his familiar features as she waited for him to speak, features that she knew better than her own. Tired from the turmoil in her mind, all she wished to do was lose herself in his dark eyes. But she could not, it seemed that he had something important to say, though he was having a hard time forming the words.

He... he has feelings for me? The Kelvic's mind started slowly working again, the exhaustion slipping away to give way to faint exhiliration. So, the kiss hadn't been just a mistake then, he'd truly meant it! And though he said that he accepted her for who she was, it was still odd to think that someone actually cared.

And evidently he thought so as well. Nida never knew that she kept him from slipping away, most often that was what she felt like. Odd that they should be so connected, but still tiptoeing in circles around each other, never telling the other everything.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared her for the next three words that came from her Bondmate. Her surprise at his acceptance of the Bond, and when he had kissed her, simply paled in comparison.

"I love you"

No, that couldn't be true. How did one love an animal? And for that matter, how could an animal return that love? Nida wished she could tell him the same with certainty, with conviction. But she simply didn't know if her kind were capable of that. There was no doubt that she cared for him deeply, and would do anything for him. But could an animal truly love?

Her heart beat faster at his last sentence. A life without him, was truly not worth living. How could he have felt the same way all this time, without her knowing? Of course, that was a rather stupid question, with her being a rather oblivious girl. But still, all those sleepless nights... He truly did care for her, and more than just a friend. More than a pet.

As a person? Surely not.

But still.

The Kelvic's lower lip trembled as she struggled to rein in her emotions. She didn't know what to say, how to respond. Her Bondmate had just poured out his heart for her, spread it out on the sand for her to see. And there he stood, observing her carefully, waiting for a reaction. Did he expect denial, refusal? He'd felt her feelings for him when they had Bonded, but she'd never told him those words aloud. Never dared. Never knew if they were actually true.

"If it is possible for a Kelvic to love, then I love you with all my heart," she whispered, her head tilted downwards, as if there were somthing quite interesting about the sand beneath her feet. The Kelvic's blue-black hair formed a curtain between them, though her face was not tear streaked, and had nothing to hide. She was determined to keep it that way, closing her eyes to keep the tears from escaping. How could this two-legger make her feel this way? How could he make her spend every moment wondering what he truly thought of her? How could he make her want to cry?

She knew what the answer was supposed to be, but that didn't lessen the ache anymore than not answering it did. But she had to speak, had to tell him what she felt. He'd given her the answer she'd longed for, and now it was her turn. Her task.

"Ever since you kissed me, I don't know which way's up anymore. I wake up, and look for you. I have to shake myself to remind myself that this is reality. I think I love you, Sel... and I don't know what it's doing to me."

"You, of all people, deserve the truth. You've changed me, Sel, in ways I can't even comprehend. The Bond makes me mirror you, but that hasn't helped me understand you any better. I can't imagine life without you, not anymore. But I don't know what's me, and what's Kelvic. I don't understand, I never have."

"But dammit Seliarus, I-I don't know how to say this. If I were human, or Dhani, or whatever race, I'd be able to say that I love you. But I'm not, I'm an animal. I'm a giant petching cat for crying out loud! Despite what I feel, despite whatever I've ever felt for you, how could I be capable of saying that I love you? How could I ever deserve anyone to love?"

by **Seliarus** on February 8th, 2011, 2:54 pm

The Dhani needed no bond to understand something was troubling her. To see she’s lost. He wanted to help her. Trully. Yet, he did not know how. He didn’t even know what’s troubling her. No, it wasn’t the sacrifice he asked her to do with him. But…It was he. He himself made her life painful and lost. He never knew. How could he be so blind? Even though he didn’t understand the Kelvics completely, it did look like he had, when he accepted the bond, ruined her life completely. Ruined, threw it out of balance, and, from what it seemed, casted her in the dark. He couldn’t believe that. He tried to protect her…Yet; he couldn’t protect her from him. And it did look like that mistake was paid dearly.

Her hands would be still in hers, even though she wasn’t looking at him. It looked like she couldn’t even look at him anymore. ‘Monster’, they called him, as he did not follow the ethic of the humans. They always looked away, to avoid an eye contact. But, that she would do that? He was lost. To have such an impact on someone, who you care for so much.

The Dhani sighed. He hasn’t opened up, and shared his feelings to no one before. Hundred years, and still nothing. And when it finally happened, he felt like someone slapped him in face with a plank, which had a nail in it. He was like poison for her. A venomous snake, killing even when it’s not knowing. He was ruining her. She said that herself. She’s getting lost in his emotions. Tearing her apart.

He waited for her. Waited for her to finish talking. And even more. Silence wrapping itself around the two. He was utterly shocked. When he decides to open up, he gets told he is running a life. Maybe she didn’t want to tell it like that, but it sure sounded like that.

“I…I am at fault. If it weren’t for me…None of thisss would of have happened.” He’d speak,
simply looking at the curtain she made with her hair. “If I knew…That I would make you get lossst in your own ssself…” He’d shake his head. If he would knew, yes. But he didn’t.

“I’m sssorry…”

He would simply say. But, that wasn’t the only thing he was going to say. A part still remained to be answered. And for that part, he had to look at her in the eye. He would lightly press his index finger on her chin. And, softly, with almost no force, tried to tip her head upwards. If she would resist, he wouldn’t push on, however. Yet, if she would look at him, he’d speak.

“Animal? Yesss, you are part animal. But, then again, ssso am I. But tell me…Would an animal be here…And be confusssed about sssuch a ssstrange feeling as love? Animals can’t feel love, you’re right. But, you’re not jussst an animal. You’re asss much of a person, than I am. Why? Think. The anssswer isss in front of you.” He’d say, pausing for a moment. “Would I be able to pour my heart out to an animal, as you sssaid? Would that animal cry when I would do that? An Animal would not underssstand the meaning of wordsss. You do. You’re confusssed. But, to be honessst, so am I. Yesss, you are a giant petching cat, for crying out loud. But you’re also a perssson. A perssson whom I want to be with me. You know, as much as I, that this…human form I have, is not my real form. You’re a cat? And I’m a sssnake. The race doesssn’t matter, Nida. It never did. Your heart. That’s what mattersss. Tell me, how am I capable of sssaying thossse wordsss? I am but a animal in a human ssshell as well. Why do I dessserve to, and you don’t?”

He would pause for a moment.

“We’re not that different, you and I. And, it doesssn’t matter if you’re not a Dhani. A human. Anything. Even if you were, I wouldn’t think any different of you. You ssspeak of yourssself like a pet. That would mean I’m just carrion food. You’re a Kelvic. You’re not just a Kelvic. Not just an animal. You’re MY Bondmate. You’re the perssson I wisssh to be with.”

He’d pause again. Sel never actually knew he could even produce such sentimental words, but, then again, he had to. Now was his time to protect her from herself.

“You think if you were human, it would be any easssier? It wouldn’t. It’sss never easy.”

by **Nidassasyae** on February 8th, 2011, 9:03 pm

"No." She shook her head vehemently, her face downcast. "It was never your fault. It could never be your fault. Nothing could make me regret the time I've spend with you. I don't understand it, but it's as true as the sun rising tomorrow morning."

He misunderstood. He thought that she blamed him. She could feel the pain that her words caused him, and frankly, wanted to slap herself for it. How could her words do that? How could he think that she thought him a monster. If there was a monster, it was her, doing this to him, causing him pain. It was more than enough to make Nida hate herself.

She offered no resistance when Seliarus tipped her head upwards. The Kelvic's tangled curtain of raven hair fell backwards, exposing her face. She was biting her lip fiercely to keep it from trembling. Again, like when they had Bonded, she knew he would try and prove her wrong. That she wasn't just an animal. That they were meant to be together. The Kelvic wanted to believe that, she longed to believe that. But there were just some things that even a Bondmate couldn't convince his Kelvic of. Sure, she could act the part of not being an animal, if he asked her to. Though deep down inside, she knew it to be the truth.

"I'm NOT crying," she insisted petulantly, her eyes suspiciously bright with unshed tears.

"But you're right, Sel. I am a cat. But if I were a person too, would I be this confused about love?"

He really did care. This was not like their Bonding, where he had convinced her that she -was- worth something. But now, the Dhani was trying to protect her.

From himself.

That thought didn't make any sense. Of all people, she trusted Seliarus completely. Perhaps a misplaced trust, as she'd walk off a cliff if he asked her to, but still trust. No, this was her fault, not his. She'd wanted to Bond, she'd kissed him back, she'd been aching to know what he really felt about her.

And now that he told her, she understood for the first time.

It wasn't that she was a person too, it wasn't that she deserved to love as much as any. No, those were obviously impossible. But it was that he thought she was, that she did. That was what mattered.

"It is never easy," she agreed, managing not to lose herself to the conviction in his eyes. "And I want to be with you too, Sel. I... I love you."

Speaking those last three words were the hardest thing she'd ever done. Harder than surviving the wastes alone. Harder than telling an almost complete stranger that she wanted to Bond. Harder than stopping stabbing that man. Because in love, no one used their brain. She'd been trying to, desperately trying to convince herself that she wasn't worthy, to justify the confusion and fear.

But now she drank that fear in, feeding off it as she had the Sailor's. Any logical thoughts were completely absent for the time being. At the moment, Nida was purely a creature of instinct, following exactly what she felt, and not questioning why or how. She was an animal, and now she gave in to that, allowing herself to speak the complete truth of what she felt. That didn't make it any more true than before, but it erased any doubts she had. Animals didn't have doubts. That made it possible to say those three words with complete conviction.

by **Seliarus** on February 10th, 2011, 7:59 pm

The Dhani would simply look at the Kelvic. So he did understand it wrong. But, however it was, he knew that a part of his words were true. if not for him, she wouldn't be so confused. But, he believed her words. He wanted to believe them. Maybe cold on the outside, even he desired some warm words like that from a person he cared for. She did just that.

He ventured lost into her, with water shimmering deep blue eyes. Of course she wasn't crying. Not for the moment, that is. He looked over the fact that she was an animal. An Kelvic. He traveled deeper in the essence of her eyes. Fear, doubt. being uncertain. Yes, those are all the feelings one feels when being under pressure, and is required to say something important. He loved the bright shine of her eyes. It reminded him on the sky, and the tears she would hold back on an incoming storm. He longed for her touch. For her soothing prescience. For her. And now she was here. Expressing something that she believed to be impossible, just for his sake.

How can someone not love a woman like that? Then again, no one was supposed to love this woman but him. He felt attached, yes, but not in a way you grow fond of an object. In the way that love was supposed to work. He whispered the words. "No, you're not crying." forcing a slight smile. Affection was the first priority on his list. He had to show her that his words were true. They had to be.

"You will alwaysss be the girl who I love, Nida. And I don't think there is a thing that can change that. Kelvic, or not. I don't care what you are... or what you might be... You'll alwaysss be the same in my heart."

And she said it. She said that, what he lusted for so long. The Dhani got caught up in the moment. Her words echoing in his head for moments to come. Almost numb from the feeling. He tried to wrap her into his embrace. Not to let her go. Pressing her very body into himself. Locking the two away from the outside world. The bleeding corpse in the corner not making the moment any less beautiful as it was.

The blood on his fingers, would lightly soak her clothing as he'd hug her. A few faint dots of blood staining her. But, Sel wasn't in the mood for keeping her tidy. That meant little to him. Clothes, meant little to nothing. Yes, they did keep him warm, but, now, he had something far more dear than any bear pelt on the world. His Bondmate. She already kept him warm once. Kept him from freezing. He trusted her enough to know he was safe. He just hoped she knew as well that the feeling he felt, was the same feeling he wanted to give her. The feeling of safety. Shelter.