[Note by Luminescence] Charlotte

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Charlotte

Postby Charlotte Perique on June 16th, 2019, 10:14 pm

Character Name


Appearance

Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Birthday: Day, Season, Year.
Birthplace: Sunberth

Appearance: A small girl, thin girl. She has an angular face, with prominent cheekbones and a bow-shaped mouth. She has dark brown hair that hangs midway down her back, often in many braids that are ornamented with bobbles.
Character Concept

An entertainer, thief, and entrepreneur. Presently working as a barmaid.
Character History

Charlotte spent her childhood desperately trying to gain the attention of the adults around her. Having only a mother – a woman working in that oldest profession, there were no ready sources for the attention Charlotte. When every attempt at gaining her mother’s admiration and praise had failed, she started seeking in other places. She began by putting on shows for her mother’s guests, hoping to win their affection, and the gifts that came with it. Being that these were not the most upstanding gentlemen in Mizahar, she quickly discovered that attention is dangerous in Sunberth.
When Charlotte was 11 years old, her mother deemed her old enough to support herself. If she was being honest, Charlotte really believed it to be a sort of blessing. Her mother was almost entirely unavailable to her, and the company she kept was among the worst. Finding herself huddled on a stoop, hungry, cold, and alone, she decided that she would find friends if it killed her. Being alone here certainly would.
She did find the friends that she was searching for. A group of other children, a mix of orphans, runaways, and the abandoned, gave her food and showed her where the slept, huddled together under a bridge. However, that was the last time that she was given anything- she was certainly expected to work for her share from that point forward. Charlotte never quite understood the politics of the group, and thus never quite fit in. There was clearly a leader- Fred. He was smarter and quicker than all the rest of the kids, never having been apprehended. He had his favorites in the rest of the group, mostly big, strong kids that never questioned him much. He never gave Charlotte’s ideas due consideration. She would hand him a marvelous idea that would make them hundreds and hundreds of coins and feed them for years and he would throw it in the gutter. The safety of the group, the ease with which they could overwhelm a bloke walking down the street and rob him blind, and a desire to be close to other kept her there.
As the group grew older, leaders changed- were caught by angry victims, took up professions, or went solo. Charlotte found herself with no friends and no money once again. She found herself very strongly considering leaving Sunberth altogether. She found work in a tavern on the outskirts of Sunberth, bought a tent, and began saving for her journey.

Language

Fluent Language: Common



Skills

Please list skills in alphabetical order by competency

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Acting 10 10 Novice
Dance 05 05 Novice
Pickpocketing 05 05 Novice
Seduction 10 10 Novice
Singing 10 05 Novice
Subterfuge 10 10 Novice




Lores

Lore of Sunberth Street Layout
Lore of Sunberth Culture


Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak or Coat
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Metal)
-Brush (Metal)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas

Heirloom: A wooden flute that was given to one of her mother’s wealthier patrons.

Housing

Location: Sunberth
;
House: A tent in the tent city, just outside of Sanctela
Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM
Trade in Horse and Tack +250 GM 300 GM


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Charlotte Perique
Player
 
Posts: 3
Words: 1443
Joined roleplay: June 15th, 2019, 1:12 am
Race: Human
Character sheet

Charlotte

Postby Luminescence on July 5th, 2019, 2:00 am

Image
Let me shed some light on the situation

Welcome to Miz, Charlotte; your CS is looking good, but before you continue, there are a few things you need to fix.

*Your header: This is just a small thing, but I would suggest either removing the 'Character Name' at the top of your sheet or replacing it with Charlotte's name.

*Your birthdate: You're missing your birthdate. Please include one with a season, day, and year; keep in mind it is currently summer 519 AV.

*Your concept: I would strongly advise you put just a little bit more info about Charlotte into her concept; it doesn't have to be long, but give people a decent idea of the sort of person she is. This can include personality traits, quirks, flaws, or even just a list of likes and dislikes.

*Your history: This is a little bit nitpicky, but do keep in mind that Sunberth doesn't have any bridges. People cross the river on boats manned by Svefra when they need to. You may also want to break your history up into proper paragraphs to make reading it a bit easier.

*Your skills: Pickpocketing is not a skill; I would suggest swapping it for Stealth. You've mistakenly put your total for Singing as 5 when it should be 10. Also, you're missing your racial bonus! As a human, this is +15 to any one skill of your choice (to a max of 30 total in one skill). Please also denote your skills as having come from either your starting package (SP) or racial bonus (RB).

You may want to consider putting some points into Musical Instrument: Flute since you have a flute as an heirloom. It's also not a bad idea to consider a fighting skill in Sunberth, but it's not necessary.

*Your possessions: Please choose a cloak OR coat. If you are starting with the tent housing package, please also include the items that come with it in your possessions list.

*Your ledger: You've shorted yourself on money! After trading in the horse and tack, your total starting money should be 350 GM.

Once you've made the corrections above, PM me and I'll remove this intervention. Otherwise, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to either PM me or find me in chat!
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Luminescence
Allow me to light the way
 
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