Ambition (Yomilla)

[Reed]

It was strange, wasn’t it? Seeing her express sympathy for the plight of a slave. The concept was as foreign to him as a surprise was. Just didn’t happen and didn’t quite connect when he saw others go through the motions. Where was she from that they didn’t keep slaves? Syliras being the only other city he knew of; his experience was not vast. However, his upbringing in Sunberth left him feeling he had a very solid grasp of humanity. That generosity was a luxury few could afford. When it came down to it. After the lot had been cast people would act in their best interest. He was alright with that. Reed could understand that. Looking at her, he thought she could too. But why speak of what simply exists? His own motivations were far from sympathetic for those who shared his plight. If he was being honest with himself, he would take more joy in depriving the slavers of product than he would in setting them loose himself. It was his burden, and perhaps why he found it so hard to adjust to the tenants the Knights tried to drill into him.

“I don’t think I left the first level for a season when I came here.” Reed said, flashing a humorless grin. It was just to fill the void as he watched her pace languidly backwards. He almost forgot to continue scrubbing himself as he thought about her guarded response. How it spoke to him more than sympathy ever could. The line between him and Merdem was thinning it seemed. There was a spasm of disgust from his brother at that thought, one he surprised by dipping his head underwater before coming back up again. Wicking the water out of his eyes, he turned his head to watch her make her way back over to him. His eyes once again alit on the tattoos he could see. He could feel his own marks burning staring at hers. Reminding him of his place, his heritage, and... Reed didn’t carry the thought. He didn’t have to when the whole city was a glaring reminder of that thought. This city was too well put together for broken things.

“Value is a fickle thing in the hands of a madman. Those that choose to own fighting slaves could all fit into that basket.” He said, talking so he didn’t have to think. Just see her and speak his mind. Reed had dredged up enough of his old life for today. Shifting around, he walked towards the edge of the pool so he could get at his legs with a coarse rag.

“You have a keen instinct. If Sunberth is to change. To really change, it will be at the edge of a blade. That blade would have to be kept at their throats for centuries, until everyone who knew the old way was dead and forgotten. Even then, it is not guaranteed. They are a stubborn people.” Reed said, his smile a touch more genuine this time. Hiking a leg up onto the edge of the pool, he scrubbed at his shin thoroughly before moving on to the next.

Looking over at her he saw a fraction of a hint. An errant emotion that passed too quickly beneath her smooth features for him to interpret. She plunged into the water before he could examine her any further, and his thoughts blinked out with it. Prying wasn’t in his nature. Neither was chasing ghosts of what-ifs. He thought of himself as a practical man. Practical in the extreme which is what had carried him to this point thus far.
Her façade shifted underneath those waters. It was all bronze. Shiny and reflecting his words back at him. Then the blows came. Bronze did what bronze does. It bent underneath the strain. Dented until a rough shape of lie beneath started to surface. Emotion. The pure sort that people didn’t reveal often to him. It made him feel strange looking into those eyes of hers. He stopped scrubbing to dip back into the water.

“Better that you don’t change yourself for a city. Simply grit your teeth with the rest of us and perhaps you will get a posting outside of the city.” Reed said, thinking even as he spoke the words of a longing of his own. A yearning to smell the world beyond what could be found across the airy training grounds. “Perhaps we could go on an excursion soon. Into the wildlands I mean to learn the waystations on the Kabrin.” He asked, the suggestion already germinating in him an impulse to go ask Kaer about this soon. The knight had been invaluable in his introduction to the knighthood so far and was always the first person he thought of when he needed help.

“It has been some time since I have been out to the wildlands. I think it might be nice to get out and stretch my legs again.” He said, even as he plunged deeper into the pool. Into the weightlessness that released the slowly building ache in his lower tendons. His mind was everywhere and nowhere as he looked at her. Wondering from what land this strange fighter had come.

[Yomila]

Yomila floated for a few ticks, doing her best to focus on the weightlessness as the water kept her suspended within its warm embrace. Her mind struggled with these intense emotions, warring with them. Her heart felt feathered, ribboned. Her chest tight and on fire. She fought to swallow the passing yet overwhelming melancholy that filled her to bursting.

Reed's words helped.

She had not considered her vulnerability, her weakness, to be met with compassion. Or that he would so smoothly pass over her obvious display of emotions. His words pushed her crumbling pieces back together. They gave her time to recover, to rearrange her face into a look that was more appropriate.

And so her features slid, like the bath water over her skin, sweeping cleanly away. She opened her eyes, settling them on his face as her toes found the bath floor. Her emotions still held fast to her body, keeping it tense, and it took her a series of ticks before she could move her arm without the fear of it shaking. She resumed the long strokes of her cloth over the skin of her stomach, occasionally sweeping it back over her hips and back.

She considered his words as she sank into this methodical rhythm. The Ethaefal had not realized how little knew knew of the knights, of how much she still had to learn of the Order. She hadn't considered much beyond her current place as a squire or her current path to knighthood. She hadn't considered what might exist beyond.

"That is good advice," she said, her voice smaller than intended. "But what if I want it to change me?" Her black eyes shifted between his own, searching, probing. "Do you not want it to change you even just a little bit? Positively, I mean," she amended. Then, more boldly, "You were a pit fighter because you were forced to be, because it was your lot in life that you were a slave and your master saw you fit for bloodsport. But now you are on your way to becoming a knight. That is of your own choosing. It will mold you into something better.. less.." she searched for an appropriate word that might not seem offensive, but she failed. She doubled back, "the challenges we face will make us better."

"I just find it very hard right now when I do not have training to distract me. This place is so... different. It's quiet. Closed. I could go for days without seeing people if I chose to. I could have never done that in Endrykas," she explained. Then, offering a bit more of herself, "that is where I am from." Her face screwed up for a moment and she corrected herself, "where I lived before I came here. It is West, in Cyphrus. In the Sea of Grass. It's not a city like Syliras or Sunberth. It's a place that exists wherever it chooses to be."

"I think that why I struggle. It was always changing. Always moving. This is so permanent," that last word was thick on her tongue. "I did not consider postings outside the walls. I guess I figured everything occurred within." Her words were small again and she drifted towards him and the wall he settled near. She spun smoothly and leaned her back against the bath ledge and bent a knee so she could scrub at her shin.

"I would welcome a trip beyond the walls," she said, voice more resolute, as if the wall behind her supported more than just her back. "But I can't say I know much of the land that lays beyond. Does it have a name?" she inquired. Her eyes sought him after he surfaced, "Is it the type of place two people like us could explore?" Her curiosity was palpable. Tyak had taught her bits and pieces about surviving in the Sea of Grass but he always cautioned her to travel in groups. Was Syliras as safe beyond the walls as it was within?

"I traveled the Kabrin Road to get here," she added, switching to her other leg, "I hadn't seen anything like it before. I did not know there were waystations." The Ethaefal swallowed her pride as she added, "I don't even know what a waystation is." Reed had already seen her crumble, what good would it be to hide herself further. He had already aided her before, after all.

tag: Reed
nanocount: 741

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[Reed]

His eyes found the ceiling as the moment lapsed into silence. It was not because he was uncomfortable watching her wash herself. What little humility he possessed had been ground away in the pit where fighting was at its most base. He looked away because it felt appropriate. Kaer would probably have done the same and that was enough of a reason for him. Also his mind was wandering over her words, her expressions, her voice. Internalizing them for there was nothing to dissect. Not for him at least.

Reed didn’t stare at the ceiling for long though till his eyes found hers again. He found comfort there even as her words sowed discord within him. Perhaps he should have made it a little more clear about where he was from. What he had done. His right eye twitched. No, better to let those stories die with him. Everyone else in them was anyways. He’d make a clean break coming here, better he not sully it now. The pool was starting to feel lukewarm now an a chill radiated up his forearms. It raised tiny little bumps along the few hairs on his flesh.

He did not interject. Not yet. The words were tumbling out of her now, and he found it rather nice to listen to her speak. Here her thoughts diverged from his own, separating her from his fantasy of finding another Sunberthian. Yomila was something different, as he had felt during their spar together. Now he was given an inkling as to why. An he tried not to think about how he was going to disappoint her.

His eyes followed as she drifted forwards to lean against to wall beside him. It was easier to look at her from this angle, and far more comfortable. Like he was back home, prepping for a fight. He pictured a field of long green grass swaying in the breeze, holding that image in his mind till the blood washed away. Yomila was scrubbing her leg. Reed’s eyes dropped to his own rough cloth before draping the rag over his left shoulder.

“Wildlands is a name for it, an I think I might be able to arrange such an excursion.” He said, an he felt small amount of pride at being to say that confidently. “It could be a good chance for us to grow into our roles here. To leave behind our respective pasts to fit better with the whole.” What would happen if he lost control again? It crossed his mind like a dark cloud, rippling across his features in between the ticks it took to control them.

“Do you know anything about unarmed combat? That was a way I often fought before coming here and..” Reed asked, his eyes trailing to hers where they along with his words came to a full stop. He remembered what she had said earlier about this place molding him into a better man. “Its just.. A good way to come down off of a day of sparring. Keeps the body tender for tomorrow.” He rose out of the water and started to dry off. “We could go back to the grounds or somewhere more private if you would prefer.” The later suggestion he almost immediately regretted. He was thinking about his apartment and the statue he’d neglected to put away before leaving this morning. What a impression she’d make.

Reed almost found himself shaking his head at the notion, though he managed to stifle the impulse by wrapping the towel around his face. Scrubbing vigorously at the thin crop of hair dusting his scalp before moving down his face and neck. His eyes settled on her as she waited to see what she would say.