[Flashback] Turning into a Book (Zenai)

[Zenai]

Season of Fall, Day 38, 494 AV

“Father, are we there yet?” said the young boy for what it seems like the 2,381st time and for the 1,385th time, his knightly father said, “No.” The other 996 replies were a mixture of grunts, sighs, curses, lies, sarcastic remarks and silence as well as distracting the boy with “sights” of a monster in which the boy would hide under the tarps of one of the merchant caravans while the knight chuckled under his breath at his son’s naivety.

“You sure?” the boy asked for the 239th time. “No…but we are close. One more day and we would reach Syliras. There you will meet your other relatives, friends and important people you should know when you’re studying in Syliras.” Ser Alexander was very looking forward to return to Syliras after all those years living under a hawk of a wife and mother. Some time away from the wife and mother would do the knight and his son some good. He likes the Inartans but there are times where they’re bit too loose, and not to mention, too insane for his taste. A break of a few years now and then would be good. Some good old fashion ordered civilization would be nice.

“I miss mother.” The boy lamented, looking sadly at the direction of where Wind Reach would be. The knight sighed “I know, son but this is for your future and your mother understands it well that a boy of your parentage, namely your knightly father and your eagle-riding lunatic-of-a-mother, should have the best. Syliras is where the best is. Best protection. Best food. Best people. Best knights and the best education that Mizahar can offer. You’re too young to understand but take my word for it as your father. This is for the best, son.”

Zenai only nodded but still frowned and wished for his mother. It’s been a good 2 seasons since they left Wind Reach. Between Wind Reach and Syliras, Zenai would have seen and experienced more things than most children than he/she would in their 5 year-old lives. Zenai liked the things he see and hear. The best things are to be touched though, he felt. Still, this is all too different for him. He could still remember the tears of his mother when he left Wind Reach. “Be a good boy and train hard. Be a big, strong knight like your father. Alright? Do visit when you become a knight.” Zenai only nodded, not very sure how to response correctly.

One day later (Day 39) in Syliras…

Everything was so very different and new. Mostly different.

Like the castle. The castle was big. Big big. Big big big. Bigger than anything Zenai have seen except for the mountains itself. Bigger than any big words Zenai could use. They may as well call it “Mountain Castle” or something like that. It was like a mountain but closer to the ground. A man-made mountain. Zenai was awed and stunned by Syliras. Nothing like Wind Reach or the places on his way to Syliras. Everything was stone but not the kind of stone that was there all the while and you have just had to carve them out. Stone that was carved, taken away from their homes and put there…like Zenai.

And his relatives… Zenai barely understands the concept of “relatives”. His father tried to explain it to him but to no avail. Zenai don’t have relatives in Wind Reach or the ones he knew anyway. A grand party was thrown for the return of his father. It was both strange and exciting. Strange as in the number of people supposedly related to him through his father who included uncles, cousins, grandfathers, grandmothers, granduncle and something called “aunties”. They also seem to be very inclined to touching, pinching and petting him. He wasn’t some cute squirrel to be petted. Friends were something Zenai was familiar with. Actually, most of these friends were his father’s friends. He knew his father was a big man but he didn’t know that his father’s friends were as big as his father. Maybe it was the armor that somehow bulks them out and Zenai being small. Still, it was straining his neck just to keep looking up and the way they talk…

“Alexander, you sly bastard! How was Wind Reach and those ginger-lunatics?” said one of the bigger-er knights.
“Same ol’, same ol’. Red-headed and hot tempered. I was challenged to a duel on a daily basis but I slapped those dead-beats down every time.”
“Haaha! Nice. Very Excellent! How about that wife of your’s? Still a demon in bed?”
“Woah there! My son is just right here. No need to fill my son’s head with secret information.”
“Is this your son?” The big knight said who then squatted down to Zenai’s height and asked, “Is that so?”
Zenai hid behind his father’s leg. “Awww, the boy is scared. Well, we’re gonna knock that out when he becomes a knight. Like father, like son! Hahah!”
“Aye to that, old friend! Cheers!” Zenai’s father and the big knight both gulp down their ale. Zenai continued to hide during the entirety of the party. So very, very different…

One week later (Day 45) in Syliras…

“What is your name?”
“Zenai.”
“No… Okay, let’s try this again: what is your other name?”
“Son.”
“Try again, son…”
“Boy!”
His father sighed. “Your name is Ian Alexander. You are an Alexanderian. Your given name is Ian while your family name is Alexander.”
“Why can’t I go with Zenai? That’s what father and mother always call me back home.”
“One. That’s your Inartan name, and; two. This is our home now.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Just remember that your name is Ian and that’s what people will call you here. Understand?”
Ian only gave a reluctant nod and his father has only a sigh. “Well, come on. Let’s see another one of father’s friends. He will be your sponsor.”

Later…

“So… This is Ian.” The old knight said. He looks down at Ian. “Is that right?”
Ian only nodded but the old knight could easily sense the anxiety.
“No worries, little one. I am your father’s friend. Very good friends. Be assured that I shall treat you like any one of my sons. If I had any…”
“That’s because you married a library, you old coot.”
“A better prospect than whatever you got.”
“Bah! You don’t know what you’re missing” Ian’s father scoffed at the old knight before getting down on his knees so he can talk to Ian better. “Listen, son. No other person I trust is wiser and more trustworthy than him. You listen to his every word and I assure you that you will become a knight.”
Ser Alexander got up on his two legs, said some whispered words to the old knight before saying goodbye to his son and departed.

At that moment, Ian felt he was the loneliest boy in all of Mizahar. No one cared. No one loved him. He was about to cry but he felt a warm hand on his head. He looked up and saw the wizened smile of the old knight. It was a funny sort of smile. A smile that immediately made Ian forgets all his troubles and worries. The old knight put out his hand and Ian took it. “Come, Zenai. I’ll tell you a tale or two before bed.” The old knight led him and Zenai followed.

[Zenai]

Season of Winter, Day 83, 495 AV

Silences and echoes were the main inhabitants of these chambers. Ghosts that walk invisibly between the shelves and tables full of books, tomes and scriptures. They do not speak to one another nor do they acknowledge each other’s presence. They exist because they exist. There’s no beginning or end to them. It is the way of things. This is, of course, one plane of existence. On another, exist Zenai and the old knight as well as others like them. However, on this plane, the inhabitants do speak to each other and acknowledge each other’s presence to a degree. They also sense the presence of silence and echoes but whether or not those silence and echoes sense them in turn, it is irrelevant to both parties.

It was winter in Syliras and it was the best time to stay indoors within the safe confines of the castle. Protected from the harsh winter winds and embraced by each other’s warmth and the hearth fire of burning wood, the inhabitants nestle inside their quarters and corridors. Even in winter, chores and duties are still needed to be done so is nature of Man. Knights regularly patrolling the corridors for any signs of trouble. Merchants selling essential items such as food and blankets. Clerks making sure records are kept up to date. Blacksmiths still working with the heat of their forges. Lastly, there was Zenai being bored with his mind drifting away.

“I think we need a break.” Said the old knight, sensing Zenai’s mind-eye drifting further and further away from reality. “Come. My mind is warm from all this learning but the body needs some exercise and sustenance to keep it warm and going.” Zenai merely nodded before lazily following the old knight towards wherever the old knight wants to go. Despite being winter, it hasn’t quite dampened people’s eagerness to get from one place to another. In fact, it seems to hurry them. Better to go quickly through the open winter else one would get the chills. Even in the close corridors, the god of winter seems to be able to sneak some of his cold in and Zenai pull his jacket tighter around himself as well as jogging a little bit faster to warm up his body and to catch up to his old tutor. The old knight, though old, still kept a brisk pace, never slowing down. Some of the knights they met and saw on the way greeted the old knight with a little bit more respect than you would usual expect. A couple of knights even walk beside him and exchanged some words that Zenai couldn’t pick up. But it wasn’t his place to eavesdrop or rather he doesn’t want to at the moment.

At the Rearing Stallion...

They arrived at the Rearing Stallion during the afternoon meal time thus the presence of many especially those of knightly ranks. Zenai recognized a few faces but still trying to grasp their names. His father was actually elsewhere and said something about an island. Many knights nodded at the old knight while a very few greeted or even smiled at the young Zenai, acknowledging him as his father’s offspring. Despite being crowded at this time of the day, the old knight was able to find a table. One of the barmaids, which Zenai couldn’t recognized, took the order from the old knight which is pretty much the “House Special” but whatever it is, it should be warm enough to cure winter’s grasp. Zenai still felt like an outsider in Syliras after more than a year. Still too many unfamiliar faces for Zenai to recognize or feel comfortable with. Too many people in Syliras, he said many times. The old knight just chuckles at his observation. Again, more whispered words filled the sharp ears of the old knight. Probably something of importance and interest to the old knight but not necessarily to Zenai. Zenai took the opportunity to observe his surroundings.

Like just about every place in Syliras, it’s crowded for one and that smell. The smell of what seems to be sweaty people huddle up together in cramp quarters who don’t bath regularly. There’s also something else in the smell but Zenai doesn’t want to think about it.

“Here, Ian. Pay for our meal. It will be good situation to practice your mathematical skills.” The old knight gave him some silver mizas. More money than Zenai ever clutched in his little boy hands in his entire life thus far anyway... The barmaid came over, still can’t remember nor recognize her. “Here are your hot porridges. That’s five silver mizas.” The old knight simply pointed to the boy who frantically tried to count the silver mizas in his hand. He laid it out on the table and started to slowly count the silver mizas he needed to pay for the porridges. One... He started. Two... He was getting there. Tree… Three! Three! Three! He meant to say three. For... For what? Oh right! Four! Why does numbers have to sound the same as words? Five… FIVE! He did it! He counted to five and gave the barmaid five silver mizas. “Oh my goodness, that is so adorable. Learning how to count already! Such a big boy.” The barmaid exclaimed and pinched Zenai’s cheeks. He could hear some sniggers and a few chuckles coming from all around him including from the old knight. The barmaid took the five silver mizas and petted Zenai’s little boy head before going off to fulfil another order.

The porridge was good. Some mushrooms and herbs added to the mix for flavour and texture. The food was different in Syliras or rather; there was a distinct taste to it. From what Zenai can discern, the effort and ingredients put into cooking was about the same but there seems to be differing styles and philosophies to it. Still, food is food and it fills the belly as well as warms the soul and body. Zenai took a spoon full of porridge and blow on it. He likes it warm, not hot so it would burn his tongue. Satisfied with that the porridge on his spoon is cool enough, he slips it into his mouth. Chews on it for a while thus allowing the warmth to spread all around his cavernous mouth before swallowing it. He could feel the warmth spread further into his heart, his lungs and finally, his cold and hungry gut.

“Well done, Ian. Looks like you grasp the basics of arithmetic.”
“A-rift-my-tick?”
“You know how to count.”
“Oh, okay. It was pretty good, wasn’t it?”
“That it was. Come on. Let’s finish up your studies. I think by the end of winter, you would have grasp the very basics of reading, writing and arithmetic.”
“A-rift-my-what?”
“Never mind…”

[Zenai]

Season of Spring, Day 62, 496 AV

At Kova’s Wishing Well…

“Do you know the significance of this well, Ian?” the old knight asked as he leans against the well itself.
Ian bit his lips as he thought of an answer. “Uh… It has water and… uhm… everybody needs water?”
The old knight chuckled. “Right and wrong. You are right that water is indeed important. Some would even also say water is the giver of life but don’t go around preaching that. Wrong in that you can’t really drink the water from this well since the well itself is probably full of coins and taste like metal. There’s also more to this well than meets the eye.”
Ian still had this confuse look. Still so young, naïve and empty. The old knight thought cheerfully. He would need to fill it otherwise it’s going to be full of unsavory things. He then took out a gold miza which he held high up so the sun would shine its rays on the golden coin. He looks at it for a while as if he was pondering whether or not to toss the miza into the well and wish for something.
“This well grants wishes or so some people say. Me? Well… I just think it’s an interesting story. Something to make the world a little less dark.”
“Wishes?! Ooo… Can I wish to wield magic like you? How about a sword that will win me any and every fight? Oh oh oh-“
“Hold on, boy. Just listen for a while longer. You see this well is said to be taken from Suva and that a spirit inhabits this very well which makes it magic. And this spirit is supposedly the one granting wishes… as well as cursing people.”
“Wait, does it mean that this spirit is good or bad?”
The old knight just shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know but it is something interesting, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, very interesting and those wishes sound neat! Would you like to wish for anything?”

It wasn’t intentional but Zenai hit a sore spot of the old knight. The old knight looked at Zenai who had this face which extrudes only innocence and ignorance. He calmed himself down. The boy doesn’t know nor should he ever. The old knight just sighed. So many things that had gone wrong. So many things that he would have done another way. So many regrets. So many sorrows. So many opportunities. It seems all so simple to just wish it so and it will be as thus. No, what’s done is done. No use crying over spilled milk. He already tried that and it didn’t do anything. No wish can change that or what he has done. He only hopes the young boy doesn’t repeat his mistakes. That’s why he is teaching the boy whatever he can. Sagely advice and mystical wisdom would make sure the boy does good. That was enough for the old knight to die peacefully. Still, he has lots to do with Ian and still some years in him to use. The young lad still had a long way to go and the old knight intends to use his time on Mizahar to make sure Zenai grew up into a fair and strong man.

The old knight doesn’t have children of his own and he was quite glad that Ser Alexander was willing to put Zenai under the old knight’s tutelage. Somehow, within his very being, he wanted to pass on something to the next generation. He doesn’t know why but it just seemed right to him. The boy presented an opportunity to do so and he’s not going to miss this chance. For more than a year, the old knight taught him everything he needs to know…for a boy at least. The old knight was almost impatient having not been able to teach him the more complex and finer things in life. But everything needs an unbreakable foundation so the old knight had to accept that he needs to go slow with the boy and patiently lay down Ian’s foundation for it to be unshakable. It wasn’t easy; he was tutoring a boy, not a squire nor a knight. He had to be a bit creative with his teachings and while imparting wisdom to the young boy. Stories did the trick, most of the time… Then he had to use shorter stories so he can actually finish the story and tell Zenai about the moral of the story. No wonder his father was so willing to drop the lad off on the old knight’s lap. His mother, on the other hand, would probably claw his eyes and guts out if anything happened to the boy from what little he heard about the boy’s mother. Extremely protective mothers. Those are the most dangerous things you can encounter in all of Mizahar.

“You alright? You’re staring into space again.” Zenai’s query jolted the old knight.
“Oh… Uhm… No, just thinking of what would I want to wish for.”
“Must be difficult for you to think so long. I know what I want!”
“What?”
“To be the best-est knight and eagle-rider in all of Mizahar!”
The boy still needs a lot of work, the old knight thought.
“Is that the greatest wish or what?” Ian asked excitedly.
The old knight pondered for a while. “Nope so I do think you need to think on it for a bit longer and I don’t think there’s such a word as best-est.”
“Sure there is! I made it up like those other scholars or whatever…”
The old knight just laughed out loud. Still a long, long way indeed!

“Here, boy. You keep this. I won’t be needing it.” The old knight gave the gold miza he had in his hand to the young boy.
“Wow, a gold miza. That’s a lot! Like a lot a lot!” Zenai almost squealed his excitement.
“There you go again, boy. Spitting on our language. Come on. Enough dilly dally. We must get back to your books otherwise your language skills deteriorate even further!”
“Dirty-what?”
“Just come. We’re going to stop by that bakery with those nice-tasting pastries before we go for the library. So either you make your wish now or save that gold miza for later.” Said as-a-matter-of-fact then starts for the bakery, leaving Zenai behind to think about his wish.

A wish for just about anything eh? Maybe he could wish for more wishes! No, that wouldn’t work somehow… It irritated Zenai that he couldn’t think of the best-est wish ever. Something that would benefit everyone but it all seems difficult with just one wish. Maybe he could wish himself as a god? No; there already were other gods and if they can’t make Mizahar a better place to live in, so can’t Zenai. Again, wishing is much more frustrating than he would have thought. If only things were much simple and less complicated, then perhaps the world wouldn’t be so mind-numbingly hard.

“Ian! March your butt here this instant!” the old knight called out from a distance.
“I’m there. I’m there! Just finishing up this wish!” Zenai shouted back.

He had one wish so he wished to be a good knight then tossed the gold miza into the well. Satisfied that the coin made a “plooping” sound signaling it has hit the water and sinking to the bottom of the well, Zenai quickly run to wherever the old knight was. Whether his wish was granted, Zenai quickly forgets about it as he thought of what pastry he should get at the bakery.

[Zenai]

Season of Summer, Day 20, 497 AV

At the Windmount Stables…

Horses were something of a conundrum for Zenai. It isn’t like he hasn’t see a horse before and after three years being outside Wind Reach where horses are the preferred mounts, Zenai should have gotten used to a horse by now. Maybe because they were a bit less intelligent than a dire eagle or rather Zenai was more comfortable with a dire eagle than a horse. Still, it’s hard to beat being reared by his mother’s dire eagle for about five years than just seeing a horse for about three years. There’s also something about horses that send chills down his spine. Maybe it was their almost dead-eyes and the stares he gets from them were as if the horses wanted to trample Zenai into the ground and gnaw on his flesh. Another thing that bugged Zenai about horses is how they defecate which is pretty much wherever they feel like doing it, which is mostly where they are standing, and whenever they damn well please. At least, eagles had the courtesy to take five minutes to fly out, pick a good spot and do it. One last thing was those thriced-damned neighing! Horses may be the most horrible animals to make any sounds. In short, Zenai don’t like horses.

“Ian, come. I got a horse for you.” The old knight shouted at the distanced boy.
“Couldn’t I watch from here? Away from the horses?” He said as he hid behind a tree.
“Oh, come now. They’re just horses. Not as if they’re going to eat you.”
Yes, they will; gnaw on my flesh and chew on my bones, they would…
The old knight walked over and took Zenai by the arm. “Come on!”
“No! Not the horses. Anything but horses! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
“Boy, shut your lips! You’re going to spook the horses!”
“Aaaaahhh-but they’re gonna gnaw on my flesh and chew on my bones-aaaahhhh!!!”
The old knight simply took an apple, which were meant for the horses, and stuffed it into Zenai’s screaming maw. The screaming stopped but the stares still linger…

After settling down the spooked horses, calming Zenai’s fear and explaining the boy’s outburst to the stable-hands, the old knight was able to get down to teaching Zenai how to ride a horse. The old knight already taught the theoretical part of horsemanship but the transition from theory to practice is often worlds apart. A horse is a temperamental creature which needs certain conditions before they do anything, something akin to a ritual to appease the gods or even as earthly as marriage. However, the fact that Zenai was still a young lad further complicates the matter. Still, the old knight was not without his cunning and resourcefulness.

The old knight placed Zenai right in front of the horse, fear in both their eyes. The old knight took the boy’s hand and handed him an apple then pointed from the apple to the horse. Zenai knew what it meant but he still can’t help but think his hands are going to be the horse’s appetizer. Still, the old knight knew best and he hasn’t wronged Zenai before. With trembling hands and the old knight holding him up, Zenai slowly handed the apple over to the horse. The horse seemed skeptical at first. Eat it already! After “thinking over it”, the horse took a sniff of the apple and the hands holding it. A few more sniffs, the horse was more comfortable with this little creature and ate the apple. Zenai immediately withdrew his hand and checked them for any missing fingers. The horse happily ate the fruit and was pleased with Zenai.

“Most excellent. At least, we got that out of the way.” The old knight was relieved.
“Can I go back to hiding? Maybe in a hole. With a sign that says no horses?”
“Don’t be daft, boy! Come on, get on the horse. Up you go.”
The old knight lifted Zenai up onto the horse and though Zenai still cringed at sitting on top of a dirty beast that neighs and tramples, the horse seems fine with it.
“Okay, good; now, take its reins and put your feet into the stirrups.”
“Like this?” the boy having more troubled with the stirrups than taking the reins.
The old knight helped put the lad’s feet. “There. You’re good to go.”
“Uh…” Zenai still fearful and skeptical, it seems.
“Don’t worry. We’re just going to take a walk around pastures for a bit.”

Leading the horse, the old knight brought Zenai around the green pastures within the Windmount Stables. No need to go too quickly, this is just to get the young boy acquainted with riding on a horse. Zenai kept a tight grip on the reins, squeezing it until his palms turn red and sweaty. The old knight took them around the pastures once and then twice and then thrice. After each round, Zenai sat up straighter and more confident. There’s also some trust built between Zenai and the horse. Good. Very good The old knight mused. “Alright, why don’t trot around for a bit? These old legs are getting tired. Think you can handle it?” Zenai nodded excitedly.

The old knight let go of the reins and let loose rider and mount. They trotted all around the pastures. Again, the more they trot, the more both the rider and mount trusted each other. Horsemanship is an important aspect of being a knight and it’s usually better to start them off as soon as possible. The old knight sat down next to his own horse. It was old like he was and they been together for a long time. Too long a time, he garnered. The old horse looks upon the young horse as the old knight looks upon Zenai. The old knight looks at his own old horse. Are you ready, old friend? The old horse look expectantly at the old knight . Always, old friend. The old knight got up from the bench and mounted on his old horse.

The old knight pulled on the reins then steered the old horse so it would trot besides Zenai and his young horse. The old knight could see Zenai having the time of his life. “How is it, boy? As good as riding an eagle?” Zenai nodded excitedly once again. Perhaps too excitedly. Better tire them out before they do anything stupid. “Okay, this time we canter together. A few rounds then we’re done.” The old knight said to Zenai but a frightful answer came instead. “Canter? I think I’m ready to gallop this horse out of the stables!”

“Now, hold on the-“ Zenai didn’t wait for the old knight to finished. Zenai slapped his reins and spurred his horse into a gallop. The old knight pleaded Zenai to wait but by then, he was already galloping as fast as the horse could and the old knight’s pleas were not able to reach the boy’s ears. Shouts and warnings were issued by the stable-hands as they saw Zenai galloping towards the exit. Some tried to get in his way but Zenai was able to jump over those obstacles. They tried to close the gates but the horse, somehow wanting some measure of freedom, gallop even faster and was able to get pass the gates before it was closed. The old knight could hear screams and curses of all sorts outside the stables. “This is going to be a mess…”

[Zenai]

Season of Fall, Day 74, 498 AV

In the Bronze Wood…

With a bow in one hand and an arrow in the other, he got ready for the shot. He had his bow arm straightened out and drawing arm raised high. Breathe in deep. He pulled his drawing arm using his back muscles while the rest of his body stays motionless. Half breathe out and hold. He aims, predicting and making an imaginary line of flight from his arrow to the intended target. He made sure everything he did was right. Breathe out. He released his arrow and let it flew to its target while he relaxes his body and its muscles. The arrow, however, missed its target, a rabbit. Shyke! He cursed.

“Try again, boy.” Said the old knight riding besides him. Zenai nodded and once his body was rested enough, drew his composite short bow once again, again trusting his horse would stay on course. Zenai had been practicing archery for quite a while and just when he thought he got it right, the old knight had to introduce to him mounted archery. Though his skills at horsemanship and archery were adequate, putting them together is a whole other skill set. The problem is keeping your aim steady while riding on a galloping horse. Shooting a bow at a stationary target while staying stationary yourself was easy enough. Shooting a bow at a moving target while staying stationary was a bit troublesome. Shooting at a stationary target while moving was pretty hard. Shooting at a moving target while moving was almost impossible! He took aim at the fleeing rabbit and let loose another arrow against the creature. It hits and the rabbit tumbled into the ground dead.

“Yeah! Did you see that?” Zenai rode back around to claim his prize.
“I sure did. Good work. I thought some real practice would do you good.”
They rode where the dead rabbit lies. Zenai dismounted and grabbed his prize.
“This is one good rabbit. We will be eating well tonight.” He held up his prize.
“Yes, I was tired of the usual broth we usually had. Better get some meat in us.”
“Can we continue on? I think I want to practice a bit more and hunt a few more before we head back.”
The old knight looked up in the sky. It was still had some light left. Just a couple of hours after noon if he was not mistaken.
“Alright, one or two more game then we’re off. We don’t want to be caught out here by bandits and anything else that wants to do us harm. By the way, where’s that big oaf of a knight? Wasn’t he following us on that chase? Oh, there he is!”

“Petch you all for leaving me behind! And petch you, you old vagik!” said the bearded knight who’s galloping towards the old knight and Zenai. The old knight just smiled sarcastically and shrugged. The bearded knight was an odd one, he is just about everything that you wouldn’t expect of a Syliran Knight; rude, short-tempered, foul-mouthed, drunk-most-nights, short-sighted, not-so-intelligent, dirty and so on and so forth. He had a great beard which is just about the only thing he keeps tidy as it was braided and he would comb it every so often. Still, he is a Syliran Knight and has some qualities that the knights had to grudgingly respect. The old knight hinted that the bearded one was quite a fighter and loyal to the end too. Somehow, the bearded knight appealed to Zenai. It almost reminded him of the Inartas back home. Other than his fine beard, probably one of his good points is that he was a big friendly bear of a man. He jokes. He laughs. He will drink with you. And he will die for you.

“Sorry, my very large friend. Zenai, here, saw an opportunity and took it.”
Zenai proudly showed the catch the got. “I shot this down this fella.”
The bearded knight raised an eyebrow. “Did’ja now? Well, that’s mighty impressive but wait until this knight finally gets his game. Then this knight would be the top dog!”
“That will be the day.” The old knight snorted. “You remember last summer when-“
“It was only that one time! Petch you for remember that one small mistake!”
The argument went back and forth between the old knight and bearded knight. Zenai observed this for a while before turning away. Short attention span and all. Then Zenai saw a game worthy for them all. Zenai waved for the old knight and pointed at the general direction of their next chase. The old knight took a moment from his discussion with the bearded knight to see what Zenai has spotted. He then gave the bearded knight the “keep quiet” hand sign.
“Do not give me that-“
“Shoosh!” The old knight silenced the bearded knight. “Zenai has found good game.”
The bearded knight look perplexed but tried to look around for what they were talking about. The old knight pointed it out for him and even bearded knight’s eyes widen.
“We would be eating like kings.” The bearded knight declared.
“We would but first, we need to hunt it down. Go down to the base of this hill. Wait for us to chase it down to you then you go for the killing blow.”
“Whatever you say, you old vagik.” The bearded knight then gleefully rode off.
The old knight then ordered Zenai. “I’ll be chasing it down to you then you take over and chase it down to him. You may practice your shots at it.”
Zenai simply nodded before getting into his position then hiding behind some trees.

He waited and waited and waited. Sweat gathered at the edge of his hairline then slowly slides to his eyebrow. He wiped it off with his sleeves. How long more he thought impatiently. He had his composite short bow and arrow tightly gripped in his hands, all the ready to pursue his prey. Then he heard it, the thumps of horse hoofs upon the ground and the much smaller thumps from the one being pursued. From his hidden spot, Zenai could see the old knight chasing the deer. The old knight shot arrow after arrow but it seems that the deer was used to being shot at. It was a survivor. The chase would make the prize all the sweeter. The deer prances passed him. Zenai slapped the reins and commanded his horse to gallop after the deer. “This one is a quick! Use your shots to change its course and force towards the bearded one!” Zenai got the idea; tire out the deer and while it may easily dodge arrows, it could be forced to change directions by firing arrows at it.

The old knight wasn’t kidding when he said it was fast. Not only that, it was agile; much more agile than his own horse. Zenai had to use his advantage: his composite short bow. He wasn’t much of a shot but he was able to keep the deer on route. Zenai only fired arrows to prevent the deer from going to a certain direction. It was easy enough and he continued to fire a few more before he reached wherever the bearded knight is supposed to be. “It’s coming your way!” Zenai shouted to the hidden bearded knight before letting loose one last arrow. Breathe in deep. He pulled his drawing arm using his back muscles while the rest of his body stays motionless. Half breathe out and hold. He aims, predicting and making an imaginary line of flight from his arrow to the target. He made sure everything he did was right. Breathe out. He released his arrow and let it flew to its target while he relaxes his body and its muscles. However, instead of hitting a tree to cut off the deer, Zenai had actually hit the deer through the skull. He guessed he was a bit too slow that time and unintentionally hit the deer. The deer instantly died to the head wound.

Still, Zenai was proud and excited when he actually killed the deer with just his mediocre archery skills… until he saw where the now-dead deer is tumbling into. When Zenai hit the deer in the head, it lurched forward sending it rolling violently downhill. It was then that the bearded knight came out of hiding to ambush the deer but it seems that the deer ambushed the bearded knight. The dead deer tumbled and hit the bearded knight off his own horse. Both hit the ground hard. Zenai immediately came over and dismounted to check on the bearded knight. The old knight later came over to see what’s the commotion was about. The old knight also dismounted and looks over the bearded knight. “Get up, you lummox. You’re lying down on our dinner.” The bearded knight came around. “Ha! Told ya. Did’ja sees how I wrestle this deer to the ground. Top dog, I am.” He said before fainting.

[Zenai]

Season of Winter, Day 27, 499 AV

Zenai could only feel pain. Pain he could very well feel in every fiber of his being. In that moment in time, pain is the only thing he knows. Pain is his master, his father, his teacher and his mentor. Pain is his language, his voice and his body language. It seems that his mind and body could only comprehend pain and nothing else. What was happiness? What was sadness? What was jealousy? What was pride? It seems pain was nothing to do with those…feelings? Pain was shouting at him. Pain was telling him to ignore the pain. Pain told him to get his petching arse off the ground. The Pain was the bearded knight when Zenai came out of his stupor.

“I think my backbone just snapped.”
“Walk it off, you big wuss.”
“I can’t move…at all. I think my body died.”
“No, that’s just your mind telling you petch. Now, get off your arse and walk damn it!”
“Fine!” Zenai tried to get up with all his might but the weights tied to his limbs and shoulders are preventing him from doing so, not to mention that he already did an hour’s worth of jogging.
“Alright! Alright. Damn those people. Staring at me as if I’m some kind of sadist.”
“The way you treated me. I think you’re some kind of kidmaster.”
“Shut that flap, boy! This is for the best! You do want to wear armor, don’t you?”
Zenai nodded. He does really want to be able put on full plate armor.

When one wears full plate armor, one would have an aura of strength and steadfastness. It isn’t just that that prompted Zenai to accept his father’s demand for Zenai to become a Syliran Knight. During his very early childhood in Wind Reach, Zenai always thought that his father was some kind of metal giant. He would always see his father take a stroll in his suit of armor and he made it look so natural. Of course, he also wondered why he was able to take off his metal skin during the nights. Zenai also wondered why his own mother would be slightly more naked. Zenai shivered at the thought and quickly buries it with images of adorable kittens and epic armor. Up until now, Zenai thought wearing full plate armor would be a piece of cake since everyone else who wore it made it look easy. Little did he know that he’s going to suffer for years to come just so he can look epic in full plate armor.

“Alright, boy. Let’s take a break.” Both opted to sit at the side of the busy road, watching as passerby come and go. There were a few knights that came by to see who was the giant oaf with the boy who has heavy sacks tied to his body. All sorts of people go by them and they whispered comments to each other. Some are of the general topics such as why are Nuits dead while some were less-than-polite comments e.g. the bearded knight told Zenai about the Akalak who entered a tavern. Both shared laughs and opinions. The bearded knight was a good knight, he just so happens to like swearing, cursing, spiting, shouting, screaming and drinking.

“Okay, enough rest, boy. Come on, it’s almost noon and my gut demands food.” Zenai nodded only as he’s going to suffer once again but this is the best. Anyway, lots of squires were able to do it so why can’t he? In addition, it was winter; the exercise might take off some of the old but he needs something to warm up his insides and that means a boil of hot stew. Zenai, through sheer force of will, motivated his mind and body to take the pain of actually moving his body. The bearded knight actually tied weighted sacks onto Zenai’s wrists, ankles and shoulders. This would simulate the weight of full plate armor as if you’re actually wearing one but somehow, he made him look like a pack mule. The bearded knight said this was typical training given to aspiring squires and knights to train in the use and equipment of full plate armor. Zenai took those words at face value.

He propped himself against the wall before pushing himself up. He had to lift with his legs so he can strengthen them and not break his back. “Come on! Lunch awaits!” The bearded knight declared it as if it was a quest. It worked, however, and Zenai just went along with it. A few hours of exercise and training does leave one peckish and Zenai intends to fill his belly to regain his strength. Zenai lifted off the wall and started jogging to catch up with the bearded knight. He can’t remember a time where lifting his legs and arms would be so easy. Perhaps it is better this way; he’s been at this for weeks and maybe he’s getting used to it. Good because he would like to enjoy a day when wearing full plate armor would be as easy as breathing. Zenai could feel as if time and space slowed down just so he could catch up. Lifting any one of his arms or legs took some effort but he did it. He did it again and again until finally, he got into a rhythm of sorts. It was easier to move once you got into a motion. One arm and leg lifted a time then lifting the opposite number. It’s all about rhythm.

Zenai was going at a respectable pace, trying not to overdo it. He was able to catch up with the bearded knight but not before dodging an arrangement of wagons, horses, merchants, knights and more people. Zenai weaved in and out as best he could. The weights didn’t make it easy so of course, there would be a few bumps and apologies going around but nothing serious. Luckily; it was winter and there were less people on the road otherwise Zenai would have caused a wagon piled up. Zenai continued on and headed towards the Rearing Stallion with the bearded knight where a hot meal and hearth-fire would be there waiting for him.

[Zenai]

Season of Spring, Day 53, 500 AV

“Ready, boy?” The bearded knight asked as he got the practice dummy ready.
“Ready!” Zenai lifted the long sword above his head.
“Charge!” The bearded knight shouted and stepped away from the dummy.
“Aaaaaaaaaaa-“ Zenai let out his war-cry as charged the practice dummy.
“Go, boy! Go!” The bearded knight cheered the young boy on.
“Aaaaaa-I’m-gonna-cut-you-up-aaaaaaaa-“ He threatened the dummy.
“Okay, now swing down your sword. Swing down your sword! Now!”
“Oooof!” Zenai crashed into the practice dummy and fell backwards.
The knight ran over. “Boy! Boy, damn it. You’re supposed to stop and swing!”
Zenai rolled over on his back. “The practice dummy snuck up on me!”
“Bah! You and your enthusiasm; It’s going to be the death off you.”

The bearded knight sighed as he lifted the boy off then on his feet. He then picked up the sword and swung it a few times as if testing its weight and balance. The bearded knight grunted in satisfaction before handing the sword back to Zenai. “I think the sword is fine. You just need to swing the petching blade down!” Zenai only nodded as he walked back to his starting position. “You know what, boy? Just stand within melee range of the dummy. We will practice your charge later.” Now, standing against practice dummy, he got into a fighting stance by lifting his long sword above his head. Zenai was taught that this stance had a few advantages: one of them was easy to change your stance if necessary and second was the stance was quite intimidating. For Zenai’s personal favorite, it was epic-looking stance.

“Okay, now; do it like I showed it to you. Go on!” Zenai swing down hard with the long sword. A resounding and powerful clang sounded as the steel blade hit the practice dummy. “Not too hard, boy. Remember, you want to slash him. Cut diagnonally.” Zenai nodded and freed his sword from the dummy’s “guts”. He got into his stance again and swings his long sword again but this time, he cuts diagonally from right to left and cuts across the dummy’s “chest”. “Good, boy. Now, go for a sideway slash.” Zenai twist his sword so he could do the slash like his mentor told him so. Another successful swing but Zenai felt it clumsy. “A bit too hard, boy. Anyway, go for an upward cut.” The Half-Inarta redirected the sword so it would cut upward diagonally from right to left. “Now, another slash across the head and repeat. You got it, boy!” Zenai slashed across and repeat the entire process again.

Zenai could feel his own clumsiness when wielding the long sword but the bearded knight explained to him that this exercise was to just getting familiar with the weapon. Somehow, Zenai could see the difference between his strikes and what the bearded knight showed him. Zenai chops the practice dummy with his sword rather than cutting across it. The long sword was meant to stab and slash so it was not suited for chopping but Zenai did it anyway out of sheer lack of experience. He also knew this was a dummy and real opponents would most likely wield weapons of their own. Again, this exercise is to teach Zenai that a long sword should slash and slice rather than chop. Zenai hit the practice dummy with too much force a few times and had to wiggle it free from the dummy. However, with each swing and cycle of cuts, Zenai was getting better at it and at least, knew how the long sword should be handled.

“Alright, that’s enough of that. Now, you got a taste of sword swinging action. Now, you need to build up some strength and technique.” The bearded knight drew his own long sword and took a high-sword stance. “This is really simple and may look boring but it’s important. Okay, it is boring but still, it is important!” The bearded knight swings down his sword, stopping just before it hit the ground. He lifted up his sword and slash down again. He does this quite a number of times. “You get it, boy? Okay, you try it now.” Zenai simply nodded and took the stance. He swings down his sword but it sliced into the ground. The bearded knight shook his head as Zenai freed his sword from the ground. “Boy, have some control. You want powerful strikes but remember you also need control. Keep at it. You will get better.” Zenai simply nodded as he took position again. He then swings down his sword but was just able to stop before it touches the ground. “Good. Just like that. Now, repeat and keep repeating.” Zenai lifted up the sword above his head and swings down but stopping before it hit the ground. Zenai repeats this again and again.

Zenai kept up with the practice for awhile but it gets harder and harder after each cut especially when one is wearing eights on their arms and shoulders. The bearded knight wasn’t done with Zenai when it came to his body building training. He’s been wearing the weights whenever he could. When he walk. When he eats. When he trains. Zenai got used to them eventually and fully accepted that they were needed so his body is conditioned to wear the heavy-weighted full plate armor. He was comfortable walking and running with the weights but his arms needed some work especially when you got an arm-intensive activity like sword fighting.

The bearded knight also joined in on the sword practice. Even experienced and trained knights such as the bearded knight still need practice every so often to keep their skills and wits sharp. Zenai and the bearded knight conversed as they kept practicing. It was their way to motivate themselves; keeping your mind off the work and letting the muscles do all the work. The conversion elevated some of the nagging pain in his arm and his mind was busy with talking to the bearded knight. They conversed well into the evening and they only stopped when both their tummies roared in hunger. They decided to call it a day and headed back. They would continue on with training the next day but for now, they need to train their stomachs to digest vast quantities of meat!

[Zenai]

Season of Summer, Day 19, 501 AV

Zenai fired a stab attack against the breaded knight but he parried it with his own long sword. In response, the bearded knight twirls his sword around to go for a downward cut against Zenai who brought his shield to block the blow. Bladed steel met Zenai’s shield with a resounding clang. “Very good, boy! Use that shield! Now, go for a shield bash against me.” Zenai did as he was told and swing his shield against the bearded knight. He braced himself against the bash and took the hit shoulder first. Zenai felt that he was hitting a wall. “A little bit harder. I hardly felt that.” The bearded knight commented. He was pretty much used to taking a beating since he focused more on his offensive techniques while leaving his body to learn to cope with the pain. Zenai then saw a glinting sword from above him coming down. The young boy jumped back and brought his long sword to bear thus was able to parry the bearded knight’s strike. Despite his size and the assumption that he is slow, the bearded knight quickly brought his blade for a wide swing against Zenai’s left. Again, Zenai blocked the swing with his shield, the strike almost making him fall over backwards. “Keep your footing strong and stable, boy! Never let your opponent undermine your legs. Foot work is just as important as your skills with the sword and shield.” Just a little reminder for Zenai about general fighting theories. The bearded knight then brought his sword high and gripping his long sword with the other hand. All the while, the bearded knight only fought with just his long sword in his right hand while his left arm is held back. Now, it seems that the bearded knight wants to see how Zenai handles a power attack from a powerful foe. Even if he blocks and parries with all his strength, Zenai would not able to stand against the strike so he had only one option in mind. He simply side stepped the attack and spin around the bearded knight so he would be facing the knight’s rear. “Excellent! You actually dodged one of my strikes and the most devastating one at that. Okay, I think it’s time for a break.”

The bearded knight turn to face Zenai then sheaving his long sword and Zenai did likewise. They retired to a bench where Zenai just collapsed on it, exhausted with the spar against the well-trained bearded knight. The bearded knight passed a water-skin to Zenai after drinking his fill which didn’t leave a whole lot for Zenai. The cool water slides down into Zenai’s dry throat as if a river flooded a desert and bringing back life to the arid plains. Still, he wished he could have more. Zenai satisfied himself with breathing in the cool air to lower his body temperature. Too bad, it was summer and the sun just backed everything under it even the air itself. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was still wearing those sack-weights upon his frame which made his body ached further. At that thought, Zenai remembered what the bearded knight has kept drilling into him. “No pain, no gain so quit yer whining, wussy!” Zenai sighed, exhaling his warmth breath out from his overworked lungs to the already hot air outside. Luckily, the winds came to blow upon Zenai as if the God of Wind, Zulrav took pity on the poor boy. The sweat on his soaking body cooled with the blowing of the winds, bringing a cool relief to Zenai’s overheated body.

Zenai closed his eyes from exhaustion and immediately puts one foot in the world of dreams. His past flew before his eyes: his early childhood in Wind Reach, the first few steps onto Syliras, falling asleep during one of the old knight’s lectures, the bearded knight chasing him through the corridors within Stormhold Citadel and so much more. Zenai also dreamed about his future: his induction as a squire of the Syliran Knights, his knighthood being granted by Grandmaster Loren Dyres and all the other knightly things that a knight does. Suddenly, darkness came over him; he wasn’t sure what it was but he didn’t like it. He tries to run for it but the darkness or shadow or whatever extended its tendrils or tentacles or whatever. It was hard to tell within the fog of dreams. It came after the fleeing Zenai and even though he pushed his body to its limits, he still ran as if he was in water; in slow-motion. In contrast, the dark thing quickly came with its limbs and it was able to get a hold on Zenai. It started to consume Zenai, covering him in the same dark, shadowy substance the creature-thing seemed to be made of. Zenai started to scream but damn his vocal cords in the dream realm; he couldn’t scream and only managed anxious squeeks. However, it neither stopped him from trying to scream nor wanting to stop screaming.

His worldly visions almost blacked out and he felt a jolt as well as heard a voice. “Boy… Boy. Boy! BOY! Wake up, boy!!! Break time’s over and it’s time for more training!” Zenai was launched back into the world of reality. He was breathing hard and he looked up the concern face of the bearded knight. Zenai frantically moved his eyeballs side to side, trying to determine whether he really escaped the shadow-darkness-thing or this was another plane of the dream world he was in. After scanning his surroundings and having his findings proved right by the bearded knight’s bad breath, he nodded to the bearded knight. “Uhm… Yeah, sure; let’s go for some more training.” For the first time in quite awhile, he was glad for the additional, mind-numbing training to bury his nightmare in the vault of his mind. “Okay, lad; come on, last one to the Rearing Stallion has to scrub my armor!” Zenai sprinted forward and run as fast as he could despite the weighted sacks on his shoulder and limbs as well as a sword and shield strapped to his back. Zenai ran as if he was running from his nightmare; so fast and far he ran, he left the bearded knight in the dust. “What’s his beef…? Damn it, boy! I’m not gonna let you win!” The bearded knight followed as fast as he could, not willing to lose to his student.

[Zenai]

Season of Fall, Day 32, 502 AV

OOCThis is more of Zenai’s opinions of the gods and goddesses rather than a RP. Hope that’s okay.

Tyveth, Lord of Honor who is honored by the Syliran Knight which in turn, Zenai too honors. Supposedly, Tyveth is the God of Honor, Justice, Valor and Chivalry which is about everything a Syliran Knight should strive for. The more scholarly and magically would be inclined towards Eyris while the seer-ly and priestly would go for Yahal. However, it is most important that they abide by the Tenants of Sylir. Having been officially inducted into the knighthood as a squire, Zenai was expected to know the tenants by heart which means Zenai has to memorize every single word of it otherwise his punishment would be running around Syliras. His instructors paint a very proud picture of the gods that the Syliran Knight had chosen to honor; all of the gods each having a characteristic that the knightly order wanted to emulate. This made sense to Zenai since those gods were the good guys and good people makes good things happen. Of course, Zenai was a curious person and he would read up on the other gods in his spare time. Other than the “approachable” gods and goddesses, there were other “questionable” gods and goddesses. Zenai thought these gods and goddesses were not necessarily evil but a part of the world and the whole universe and those beyond the realm of mortals.

Zenai, being of reproduction age, is quite interested in the goddess, Nikali. Zenai blushed and balked at the language used to describe the goddess of lust. The book he was reading was not really suited for a person of his youth but he managed to hide in one of the deep dark corners of the library so he can read its “filthy” text and the very graphic depictions without interruptions or accusations. He wasn’t really reading the text but gawking at the illustrations and pictures. He had a nose bleed on the day he “read” the book for about two hours. Still, we had skimmed through the text so he knew enough about the goddess that she was the sister of Cheva, goddess of marriage. Seems like a compatible match as sisters, Zenai thought. At the thought of marriage, he remembered when Zenai was occasionally sent out when his parents wanted some “alone” time. Now, Zenai knew what they were actually up to and it sent chills down Zenai’s spine thinking what his parent was doing during those times. He always thought that they were hiding presents for Zenai to look for. Maybe a gift from Tivaku in the form of other siblings that Zenai’s parent might produce. Zenai was an odd child since he has no twin and it was quite common in Wind Reach for twins to be regular birth. Many would made fun of him having no one to play and talk with but there were advantages and disadvantages. One of the more attractive advantages was that he always within the scope of attention of his parents. He doesn’t need to share a room or his toys with anyone. The drawback of that is that his mother is slightly if not insanely protective of her only child.

Then there’s Gnora and Eyris; the goddess of balance and the goddess of wisdom respectively. Supposedly, Gnora was the more pragmatic one while Eyris was the one who is more interested in seeking and dispensing knowledge and wisdom just because. Zenai saw the merit in both; Gnora was practical and it made sense to Zenai that sometimes you need to keep your head on the ground and see things as they really are. Zenai like the Eyris for her love for every kind of knowledge even the ones that aren’t so useful but interesting and fun to learn anyway. Zenai concluded that the aspect of Gnora would be important for both short and long term solutions to the problem faced by the mortal of Mizahar while the aspect of Eyris would be useful when you need new ideas, a paradigm to break out of hardship and delved into the ideal world of the future though the future would be really more of Avalis’s area of expertise. Knowing the future seems to be both a blessing and a curse when Zenai had enquired about it from his instructors and other squires. A blessing; you would know the future and would know best how to deal with that oncoming problem. A curse; knowing that the future constantly hold challenges and evils that would break the sanity and humanity of any person who would conclude what they were doing were all for naught and pointless.

Dira was an interesting goddess; she accepts that every mortal had their time and there’s no rush in hurrying their deaths. Zenai surprisingly agreed to it even though he feared his life would be put out just like a candle. Life is wonderful, Death is peaceful but it seems the problem is during the transition from Life to Death. Zenai shouldn’t fear Death as she would take him to whomever gods had laid claim to Zenai’s soul whichever god or goddess anyway. She is neither really evil nor seeking to speed up Zenai’s inevitable which made Zenai a bit better. However, there are some that would seek either prolong Zenai’s suffering or shorten his life in an instant. Rak’keli and Vayt both are an anathema to each other; one would prolong life while the other shorten it or worse, make the mortal suffer for as long as Death doesn’t take the soul yet. Vayt was the really evil one while Rak’keli is just being overzealous with her work. Rak’keli seemed kind enough to be the easiest goddess to be spoken to. Zenai wouldn’t want to meet Vayt or in hindsight, know him at all while Zenai is interested in visiting Rak’keli on the Konti Isle. Zenai considered for awhile whether he wanted to be a sort of healer but abandoned the idea as he wanted to be an epic knight of epic proportions and kill all who would oppose him. Zenai made a note to present of offerings and apologies regularly to Rak’keli as well as Dira and Kihala, goddess of life, while he is at it.

Akajia and Yshull is an interesting pair of goddesses; a couple of goddesses who would be worshiped and honored by thieves, rogues, smugglers, raiders and the likes. Zenai wondered if reading about these “shadowy” goddesses is tantamount to treason to the Syliran Knights and dishonoring Sylir. Zenai smiled to himself and concluded that they would first need to find out and Zenai is quite safe from prying eyes in the dark corner of the library he is sitting in. Perhaps this is first act of honor towards the goddess of shadows and the goddess of deviants. He would try to not make it a habit but will keep in mind about their methods. He is also tried to be careful considering the existence of the God of Betrayal and Lies, Rhysol. Zenai felt dirty even saying the name in his mind and wondered whether he could scrub his mind clean. Perhaps more reading on this Rhysol as ignorance is a dangerous trait to have. The more you know, the more likely you know how to deal with it. Zenai didn’t think any god could top Vayt but Rhysol really took the first place medal. As Zenai continued to read about Rhysol, he could almost feel a scratching at the back of his mind as if something wants to claw out and devour Zenai’s soul.

Enough reading, Zenai concluded. While making sure that no one is around, Zenai puts back the books where they were as he didn’t want anyone to found he was here. It was a game of sorts; he would hide amongst the library and read up while everyone would wonder where Zenai have gone. Walking out casually from the library, he made his way towards the Temple of All Gods. Since reading up on the gods and goddesses that had a hand in the affairs of all in Mizahar, Zenai thought it would be nice give prayers and offerings to them in the hopes that would spare Zenai mercy and maybe even gifted him with their gnosis. That would be very unlikely thing to happen but that shouldn’t stop Zenai from trying.

[Zenai]

Season of Winter, Day 83, 503 AV

It was the same nightmare as every other night. No matter how much Zenai willed himself not to, the nightmare just comes back. At the beginning, Zenai didn’t pay much attention to it. He thought it was one of those regular vague nightmares you would get every so often especially when you’re stressed or worried about something. Like many, Zenai had his own set of worries and stresses. There was a lot of pressure for him to succeed as a knight especially when you come from a long line of knights. Zenai did alright and could enter knighthood with passable merits but it always seems that his father always had higher expectations of him. Even in those times when Zenai and others were in the opinion Zenai had done exceptional well above others, his father would curtly dismissed it and demand better from Zenai, even perfection that could only be achieved by the gods and goddesses. Eventually, Zenai just gave up ever reaching his father’s expectations and learned to ignore his ramblings and rants. Zenai was happy enough with his own progress and that is the only thing that mattered to the squire and knight-to-be.

Then there was his mother; it was almost ten years since he had seen her. Letters were sent whenever possible. Zenai feared the most during the winter days in Wind Reach since, unlike Syliras, there wasn’t always a ready stock of food and game to be had. His mother also feared about Zenai’s well-being especially when nourishing one’s self. Zenai had to keep assuring his mother that he is well-fed and quite comfortable in Syliras. Maybe a bit cramp and smelly but you get used to those kinds of things. Zenai had worried about his mother especially when Inartas were prone to dueling each other into extinction. However, Zenai knew his mother was a tough and independent woman. As far as he knew, his mother has not taken any other suitors other than this own father. Zenai wondered whether if he was quite horrible as a child or his mother couldn’t take the stress of worrying about another child. It seems that his mother is happy enough going about her own business and turning down potential mates. Still, Zenai still worries for his mother and would return to Wind Reach as soon as he became a knight or even a fulfill a quest somewhere near enough Wind Reach so he can deliver the good news.

Even despite calming his fears and knowing that he will become a Syliran Knight with respectable skills, there always seems to be a nagging and scratching feeling in the depth of his heart and soul. He couldn’t pinpoint it; the “thing” that has been clawing at his mind and giving him the ever-frequent-by-the-day nightmares. The nightmare would be the same; Zenai would just running and running and running. Never looked back as he knew what was after him. He could only run. He can’t breathe. The air was too thick as he was breathing in rocks. He can’t scream. He could only manage a pathetic squeal. He can’t look back. Too much fear to do anything else. Actually, he did something else other than running; he cried. He cried because neither he can do anything about it nor want it to happen, simply because it was bad. However, this nightmare was much worse than the others he had; far worse. Usually, he just ran from whatever that was chasing him and Zenai would wake up. However this time, the “thing” has caught up with him.

In this nightmare, the “thing” was already upon him and he saw for the very first time what that “thing” was. It was just a shadow but Zenai felt it wasn’t a shadow. Shadows were just natural part of the world, created when there’s no light. It was there because nature had made it so. This “shadow” was not a shadow but it is still a nightmare. Again, Zenai tried to scream but only squeals came out from his opened maw. Zenai still kept on squealing as there was little he can do. He struggle but the tentacle limbs of the night reached around his body, entangling him so he would stop struggling and resisting. Zenai keep on fighting, not willing to be consumed by the nightmare. Zenai reached for his long sword, it wasn’t there. His shield, gone as well. His fists and kicks, ineffective. No matter how much Zenai fought, the nightmare slowly consumed his body. Those parts consumed have grown numb as if it wasn’t there. He was being erased. No longer there as if his existence in this world and next was being wiped out. Is this what Zenai had feared? That nobody cared about his being and his very existence?

Almost his entire body was consumed or rather wiped out as if he was a chalk drawing being wiped away by a duster. Only his head was left, he tried to keep in afloat, above the sea of nightmare. He no longer had limbs to swim and keep himself above the surface. It was the inevitable; being drowned out in his worries, his fears and his weakness. Zenai keep on squealing and only squealing in the hopes someone would help. It was then Zenai saw, from the corner of his eyes, a figure in the distance. The figure was mounted on a horse and in recognizable full plate armor you would regularly see being worn by a Syliran Knight. In his hands are his long sword and the banner that depicts Windoak. His heart would have leapt at the sight if he could still feel his heart or even chest or even body. The knight charged into the nightmare and gave out his war cry. Finally, someone to rescue him; a knight, someone he wants to become. Thunderous hooves of his warhorse tramples onto the ground as it made its way towards Zenai; the banner of Windoak fluttering and flying in the winds; the silver long sword glowing with a blue aura and a knight suited in elaborated full plate armor Zenai discerned that it was made of Isurian Steel and it had that same blue aura as his sword.

The nightmare parted ways for the knight like it feared the knight’s very presence. The knight was almost reached Zenai and the knight brought his sword high to strike at the nightmare to release Zenai of his nightmares. The nightmare brought Zenai up as if it wanted to give Zenai to the knight and signaled its surrender. Though Zenai was thankful for having his body back, he was still shackled to what looks like a tree. Zenai’s eyes widen as he realized that the tree very much looked like Windoak and the sword wasn’t coming for the nightmare but Zenai himself. Finally, Zenai spoke for the very first time in his nightmare, “NO! WAIT!” Two words he could managed before the knight declared, “BEGONE, DEMON!” He was referring to Zenai who was helpless to block the sword strike. He felt his heart racing and his sweat beading down his forehead. He breathed in and out rapidly as the sword came down upon him. Zenai closed his eyes, not willing to see his end. Just as the silver sword touched him, he awoke with a jolt and fell out of his bed.

Like just before the nightmare ended, he was inhaling and exhaling at an exhilarating rate and he was socked to the bone in sweat. He looked around, making sure of his surroundings; he was in his dorm with his other squire-mates, all of them still sound asleep. Zenai reckoned it was still two bells before morning. He made the decision there and then; he quickly collected himself and looked around the suite for his chest full of his personal possessions. He also looked around for a backpack in which to put his most prized possession as well as essential items such as toiletries and whatever mizas he had saved up. He frantically packed his things or rather stuffing as many clothes into the backpack. More desperate than satisfied, he was done packing within a chime. He changed his clothes and washed up before putting on cleaner and drier clothes that would protect him from the cold. He put on his backpack, long sword, shield and composite short bow before making his way out of the dorm. Something or someone grabbed him by the arms and in response; Zenai drew his sword out and looked at whatever has grabbed him. It was one of the chaperones. “Where are you going this early in the morning? And put that sword away, you’re going to poke an eye out.” Zenai broke out of the chaperones’ grip and sheaved his sword. “I’m going home.” Then Zenai just made a break for it; out the door and into the winter night cold. He keeps on running, intent on fleeing from the city that has caused his nightmare. He could hear the chaperone shouting for him to come back. He didn’t care; he just wanted to get away from it all. It would be a matter of time before the chaperone would alert his father and patrons; the old knight and the bearded knight.

Zenai made his way to the stables where his horse was resting. He slowly awoke the beast. “It’s time to go, boy.” Zenai only said before leading the horse out of the stables. He didn’t just want to mount on it and just go for the gates as it will arouse too much suspicion but time was of the essence. Zenai’s heart pumped hard as he got closer and closer towards the gate. He would see knights on their early morning patrol; he would waved to them or when they asked him where he was going, Zenai lied and said he’s going off for a camping trip and that he needs to set off early with patrons. It worked thankfully and after what took like an entire bell, he was at the gates. He looked at the gates then look back at Syliras. Would he abandon all this just so he can escape his nightmare? Yes, he would; petch Windoak and petch the knights. No one could stop him. As he was about to mount, Zenai was grabbed by both shoulders and brought down. He was then twirl around and he saw the old knight and bearded knight. Oh, petch… The old knight opened his mouth. “A little bit early for a camping trip, isn’t it? Also, it must be my mind being old and loose since I don’t remember organizing a camping trip. Did you organize a camping trip?” The old knight asked the bearded knight. “Not that I can remember. Not in this petching cold anyway. What are you thinking, boy?!”

“I know this seems crazy.” Zenai started explaining. “But I need to go. Now.”
“Go where?” The old knight asked. “Yeah, go where?” The bearded knight added.
“Anywhere. Not here. Far away from here. Home. Yes, home. Wind Reach.”
“Wait a chime, boy. Wind Reach is too far away. If you want to go home, wait until you become a knight. You are so close and you just need to wait another season.”
“No, I need to go now.” Zenai said desperately.
The bearded knight enquired. “Why? What in the petch made you want to go now?”
Zenai hesitated, he doesn’t know whether he can explain it to them so they could understand in which most likely they would dismissed it and force Zenai to stay in Syliras or just keep the reason vague and insist on going.”
“I just want to go home. Now.” Zenai simply answered.
“Go home where? Wind Reach?” He recognized the voice. It was his father. Zenai looked past the old knight and bearded knight who also in turn looked to see Ser Alexander, father of Ian Alexander marching up them furiously.
Ser Alexander pushed past the other knights. “Where are you going in this cold?”
Zenai shut his lips as he doesn’t know what to say. At times, his father can be the kindest man in all of Mizahar. Other times, he was the most furious and angry man.

“Well?” His father demanded an answer. Zenai couldn’t give it out of fear.
The old knight, to Zenai’s relief, chimed in. “The boy must surely has his reason.”
“Yeah, it could be that he wants to enjoy winter before it ends.” The bearded knight surmised.
Zenai’s father gave them a “Petch-Off” stare. “Yes, he has reasons but I want to hear it from his mouth.” He looked down at Zenai “Well, what is it then?”
Zenai managed to open his lips a bit. “I want to go home.” Zenai squeaked.
“Home? Home where? Wind Reach? Where your mother is? By the gods, boy! Sometimes you make me so furious. Alright, enough of this nonsense. Get back into your dormitory and get ready for today’s training.”
Zenai looked up at his father and said, “No.”
The answer stunned the knights. “What did you say?” Ser Alexander asked.
“I said no. I will go home to Wind Reach and you can’t stop me.” A bold declaration made by Zenai. He could sense this displeased his father very much.
“Says who?”
“Says me.” Zenai once again defied his father.
“Ian… Just come back for the love of Tyveth.” His father grabbed Zenai’s arm and wanted to drag him back. Zenai released himself from the grip.
“No, I will go back to Wind Reach.” Zenai reaffirms his position.
“Ian, damn you boy! You will go back to your dorm and stay there!” His father shouted with much fury.
“Petch you, father!” Zenai shouted back without any thoughts.
“Now, now… it’s still early in th-“ The old knight tried to intervened.
“Stay out of it, old man!” Ser Alexander threatened the old knight.
“Now , wait a ch-“ The bearded knight joined in.
“You too. You all should stay out of it. This is a family affair.”

The knights were taken aback their former friend’s manner and behavior. Ser Alexander looks at Zenai with a gaze of an angry father, and went over to grab Zenai and drag him back to his dormitory. However, Zenai wasn’t about to let his happen; he draw his sword and just when his father was about to grab him, Zenai pommel strike him in the face. His father staggered back and looks at Zenai as if he wanted to kill him. “You dare strike your own fa-“ Zenai didn’t let him finished and strike him again by the pommel before kicking him into the snow. His father fell back into the snow and the other knights were horrified at Zenai. Zenai was also horrified at what he has done and the only course of action is to run. “Wait, Zenai! We can help you!” He ignored the old knight’s pleas and quickly run to his horse, mounted it and slapped the reins to spur the horse into a gallop. He rides into the snow, not looking back like in his nightmare. He cried for what he has done; he has failed as a knight thus a disappointment to his parents and his lineage. This was reinforced by his father final words shouted to him in the distance. “Do not come back ever again! You hear me?! You are not my son anymore! I disown you!” It didn’t matter to Zenai. He didn’t care. All he wanted was to get far away from Syliras. Away from his father. Away from the knights. Away from Windoak. Away from his nightmares.