[PC Plotnotes] Caelum.

[Caelum]

Caelum I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map I knew that somehow I could find my way back - f + m – Ultimate Goal: To go home. Caelum defines home as the Ukalas, the realm of Syna in which he passed half a millennia. He does not know why he is returned to Mizahar and has only the commonly held theory of there being a rift in the Ukalas caused by the Valterrian to cling to as explanation. The conflicts are legion. The first is that home is in truth more a concept than a physical location. Caelum uses the term home to represent Syna’s Realm which in turn represents a quality of existence – that of peace, happiness, love and contentment. He possesses the intelligence to comprehend this, but he has not attained the spiritual reconciliation required to realize and accept it. To do so would mean acknowledging he himself is part of the problem, potentially even the problem entirely. The second conflict is that Caelum does not know for certain there exists a rift in Syna and Leth’s conjoined realms. It is a commonly held theory that remains, insofar as he is aware, unproved. Forced to consider the possibility that there is no rift and he and his earthbound brethren were placed back on earth for a reason, be it to achieve something or as punishment for something, he is confronted by a multitude of crippling questions that stab holes through the skin of his self image and his psyche as a whole. Without comprehensible recollection of his time in the Ukalas or defining and detailed memories of his past lives, Caelum is incapable of determining this for himself. It leaves him with a choice between action and inaction, seeking answers and waiting for answers. He has chosen to seek. His choice in this regard has led him to his penultimate goal: to heal the rift. As with his ultimate goal, the conflicts for his penultimate are many and varied. The first and foremost conflict is the fact that there may not be a rift and the second is that if there is it has existed for five centuries without the gods themselves being capable of fixing it. This is, of course, assuming They want to. This is a source of irony because the series of events in Ravok caused Caelum to lose his last gasps of faith in his goddess and made him of the forsaken; however, despite his bitterness toward Syna, he has dedicated all of his energies toward healing Her realm. This has resulted in Caelum’s constant evolution into a more multi-faceted healer, altering the code and concept of his character. The harder he seeks, the more layers of healing, and the greater he is becoming. I am calling this a process of accidental ascension. To be continued.

[Caelum]

Caelum's Bible and in the dark I could hear your heartbeat I tried to find the sound - f + m – Constant Traits Dedicated (+) Caelum tilts at windmills and is well aware of it. The fact of his goals being so outrageous, so far reaching and even potentially indicative of hubris is not unrecognized. Yet he maintains faith in his ability to heal, to heal even the Ukalas themselves if necessary, in an attempt to both redeem himself in the eyes of Syna and to go home. His is a redemptive path as he believes that he has failed his goddess in numerous ways. His relationship with the goddess Rak'keli and, most recently, with Nikali, has only increased his dedication to the cause of healing -- healing Syna's realm, healing his forsaken soul, healing the bodies, hearts and minds of others and thereby striving to meet the needs of a world badly wounded in the Valterrian. Bitter (-) For all the love he bears Syna, for all his efforts in Her benefit, he is bitter about his lot and what he views as having been an unwarranted condemnation. The series of events in his time in Ravok plunged him into a lightless emotional state, one of service that lacked integrity and pain -- physical and emotional -- that was deprived of comfort. He believes that if he committed so great a crime as to justify being returned to earth and denied Her grace, then he deserves knowledge of it so that he may make a more focused attempt at redeeming himself. Of recent, his bitterness has waned toward Syna and found itself to be directed more at the pantheon as a whole, primarily at Lhex. Additionally, he seems to be in the process not of losing his bitterness, but taking it entirely away from the gods and heaping in on the backs of those mortal figures who have caused him grave harm. Situational Traits Well Intentioned (+) The road to hell is paved with good intentions. This is a term easily applied to Caelum, as well as one he might himself say. He has almost never knowingly offered harm to anyone and those few times he has have been in extreme situations, some of them capable of being considered forgivable. His instincts are solid and he is, at core, a good man. Desperate (-) He is hungry, starving, wounded. Desperate. He wants and wants. To go home. To be loved. To be healed. To have peace. To gain rest. To no longer be lonely. The list is long and the answers to many of them are to be found inside of himself. Awareness of this fact that does not cause him to be less desperate, however. He was horribly damaged and his spiritual wounds are beyond his ability to heal himself; however, his wind mill tilting mindset does not stop him from trying, but often to his own detriment. This desperation can leave him ill tempered, distant, even sometimes viciously aloof. It absolutely has him wielding a far too sharp tongue from time to time, acting before thinking.

[Caelum]

but with all my education I can't seem to command it and all the words are escaping and coming back all damaged and I would put them back in poetry if only I knew how I can't seem to understand it and I would give all this and heaven too I would give all this and heaven too but I could not give all this and heaven too not heaven too so I was screaming out a language I never knew had existed before - f + m – Antepenultimate Goal: the Celestial Language. stir with mighty song. Reminder for later elaboration.

[Caelum]

holy water cannot help you now a thousand armies couldn't keep me out I don't want your money, I don't want your crowd I'm here to burn your kingdom down. seven devils all around you. seven devils in my house and no rivers, no lakes can put the fire out I'm going to raise the stakes I'm going to smoke you out seven devils all around me I'll be dead before the day is done - f + m - Faith, by request. The Mizahar pantheon was created to be flawed, with no direct evidence of an omnipotent demiurge. Therefore: Caelum's character concept was constructed upon his relationship with the Mizahar pantheon. This character began as a seed of faith, blistered but full of prospect; and at this juncture in writing for him, that seed has shoved up through an often arid soil and strengthened into a rapidly growing tree, bent against the wind. This is a world where faith has nothing to do with an ability to believe in things but hoped for, to trust in the unseen. Gods walk the earth and Caelum spent untold time in Their own realm. He has come face to face with Caihya, Rak’keli, Syna and Nikali and bent bent and beckoned by agents of Leth, Cheva, Tyveth, Zulrav, Ivak, Rhysol, Ionu, Virates, Avalis, Yahal and Nysel all in his short years since falling. He is not a man of idol faith, stagnant worshipper content in meditations and unquestioning obeisance. He is dedicated and bitter, well intentioned and desperate and he curses gods freely when he feels They have done wrong. He expects a great deal from the divine and goes even farther in that he makes endless demands of those gods whom he adores. There is no wish to make desire null, nor an ability to be idle in the face of fate and nature. He pursues, relentlessly, all the while begging forgiveness because resistance is at the heart of peace. Confronted by a world where the god of change has long been imprisoned, that of transcendence forgotten in the ruins and civilization dead, Caelum staunchly refuses to accept what he views as divine mediocrity and keeps pushing, and pushing. One day, doubtless, he’ll push too far.

[Caelum]

I was born in a big grey cloud Screaming out a love song All the broken chords and unnamed cries What a place to come from I wish to remain nameless And live without shame 'Cause what's in a name, oh I still remain the same You can call it what you want You can call me anything you want You can call us what you want You can call me anything you want Everybody lets you down In this grief hole of a town born a different soul rushing out Tell me what you're running from I know everybody lets you down And I'll do the same But know I'll always be around This can remain the same Call me when you need me Call me anything you want Darling believe me Nothing I haven't done before Call me when you need me Call me when you need me Darling believe me Darling believe me - f + m - Redemption Road. Caelum is undergoing the accidental ascension aforementioned in earlier plot notes. The change ranuri has wrought upon him is vast. It settled pretty heavily into my mind thanks to a few questions posed to me by another player regarding Nikali's gnosis and my interpretation of it. It is perhaps notable that Caelum remains somewhat the "dark side of the sun". It is not immediately apparent in his average interactions, but I am attempting to underline and highlight them in solos, both flashbacks and present day, as well as in my writing style. He can be very, very good, but he spent a long time being bad. Below I'm slapping the questions and answers for easy future reference. How did you acquire it IC? Like, what happened to Caelum? Caelum did not seek to be marked by Ranuri. Nikali essentially accosted him. lol. Caelum was forsaken at the time and had been since his years of slavery in Ravok. As such, he was cut off from Syna at an integral level. He was involved in a large plot too that began with him being summoned by Syna to go to Denval, a summons he chose to follow despite his forsaken state. Tabernac (DS of Denval) said "let's do a thread of Caelum's arrival" and in it Caelum was met by a Priest of Nikali and then Nikali herself walked in and claimed him. On a more expansive level, what happened is that Caelum responded to the need of his primary goddess (Syna) while still recovering from his time in chains. NIkali saw him through the eyes of her priest -- and it's been suggested by Gossamer that she was jealous -- and claimed him as her own. What's playing it like? How has it affected your character arc? Playing a PC marked by ranuri is all consuming. It has completely altered the dynamic of my character and it plays a part in every thread I play even if the thread is not dominated by or about it. You can't write someone with ranuri not using it, not handling it, not reacting to it. It informs all of Caelum's interactions. The greatest way it's affected Caelum is that he has ascended out of his forsaken state. It helped to heal his psyche on an indelible level and grant balance back to the complex emotional state of any ethaefal. He is a character who needs to be needed, who is hardwired to fight the good fight and to serve people, organizations, gods, and ideals that are far more vast than him. That was how he ended up an ethaefal in the first place, and also a member of Nysel's Cytali. Nikali marking Caelum put these so important pieces of him back in their proper order. How do you, specifically, portray it? Caelum actively uses his ranuri. He is a healer, a fixer, and it is a great tool in that regard. He also has to actively battle it at times to focus or to avoid doing awful things. He is unbonded. He has no master or focus, no singular lover or bonded kelvic on which to focus his ranuri which, notably, cannot be "turned off", can only be controlled and then only to a degree. That means he cannot help but "read" everyone he comes into contact with. The biggest mistake I've seen made with ranuri is the idea that it is solely about sexual desire and/or that it turns the marked into a walking Don Juan or the likes. Aware of this from the beginning, I've sought to portray ranuri as I believe it ought to be. It absolutely can have to do with sex, but that is merely one of a thousand different things it can be about. It all depends on the nature of the needs and desire of the person the ranuri marked is reading. It's more of a curse than it is a blessing from some view points. But I've attempted to portray it as a mixed blessing. A necessary blessing. Cruel spring, if you will. No normal, healthy, stable person in decent conditions would want it if they understood it. Nor do they need it. At bottom, it's a shotgun blast to save a soul, or to save the souls of those surrounding.

[Caelum]

Character Bible Revised and the only solution was to stand and fight. - f + m – Caelum’s character has undergone a miniature evolution – a little leap, if you will – since I hacked him out as my first PC on Mizahar. This is not at all due to my work with him alone, but at least half due to the interest and insight of other players and moderators taking the time to not only get to know Caelum, but to begin to understand who he is, where he has been, and where in the name of all that’s holy he seems to think he is going. Their comprehension of my PC has allowed me opportunities to witness Caelum in more objective viewpoints and consider him at angles and in lights I may not have on my own. They -- you -- have made Caelum darker and more complex. Contrarily, you have also charmed him into being a better man. You have forced him to show his humanity, humbled him and revealed him to be the very flawed but earnest creature that he is. He’s the worst kind of fanatic, but he has a seriously squishy heart. I would not have fully understood either of these things without external input. Therefore, I give you Caelum’s revised character diamond. The traits themselves have not changed in their broader sense, but their details have been altered. Constant Traits Dedicated (+) Caelum tilts at windmills and is well aware of it. The fact of his goals being so outrageous, so far reaching and even potentially indicative of hubris is not unrecognized. Yet he maintains faith in his ability to heal, to heal even the Ukalas themselves if necessary, in an attempt to both redeem himself in the eyes of Syna and to go home. His is a redemptive path as he believes that he has failed his goddess in numerous ways. His relationship with the goddess Rak'keli and with Nikali has only increased his dedication to the cause of healing -- healing Syna's realm, healing his forsaken once soul, healing the bodies, hearts and minds of others and thereby striving to meet the needs of a world badly wounded in the Valterrian. His dedication has expanded exponentially since the course of events in Denval, culminating in the Djed Storm. Nikali’s gnosis marking and divine binding of him to the bedrock and the heart of a whole society in their hour of extreme need forcibly stitched the pieces of his soul back together and flushed the worst of the evil infecting him out. He ascended out of his forsaken state and successfully 1) came when Syna called, 2) completed the task she set before him, and 3) survived. Relinquished, he became free to answer the summons of Nysel, but the Denvali dead have a habit of making themselves heard in the form of a greater sense of connection and service to the people of Mizahar. Bitter (-) For all the love he bears Syna, for all his efforts in Her benefit, he is bitter about his lot and what he views as having been an unwarranted condemnation. The series of events in his time in Ravok plunged him into a lightless emotional state, one of service that lacked integrity, and pain -- physical and emotional -- that was deprived of comfort. He believes that if he committed so great a crime as to justify being returned to earth and denied Her grace, then he deserves knowledge of it so that he may make a more focused attempt at redeeming himself. Of recent, his bitterness has waned toward Syna and found itself to be directed more at the pantheon as a whole, primarily at Lhex. Additionally, he seems to be in the process not of losing his bitterness, but taking it entirely away from the gods and heaping in on the backs of those mortal figures who have caused him grave harm. Caelum’s bitterness had performed an almost complete turnaround and is directed largely at those enemy entities who have aligned themselves against the causes of day, dream, and right. He can call some of them by name, but the world sucks in a breath in the aftermath of the Djed Storm and the Cytali are reborn to Mizahar, his opposition is lining up like soldiers and many are still faceless. Situational Traits Well Intentioned (+) The road to hell is paved with good intentions. This is a term easily applied to Caelum, as well as one he might himself say. He has almost never knowingly offered harm to anyone and those few times he has have been in extreme situations, some of them capable of being considered forgivable. His instincts are solid and he is, at core, a good man. However, the outer reaches of his moral construct are decidedly ambiguous. He has proven himself to be quite capable of ruthlessness and being mercilessly unforgiving. He has done evil for the sake of good and called it right, but he is a hypocrite and will call someone’s similar judgments wrong. Desperate (-) He is hungry, starving, wounded. Desperate. He wants and wants. To go home. To be loved. To be healed. To have peace. To gain rest. To no longer be lonely. The list is long and the answers to many of them are to be found inside of himself. Awareness of this fact that does not cause him to be less desperate, however. He was horribly damaged and his spiritual wounds are beyond his ability to heal himself; however, his wind mill tilting mindset does not stop him from trying, but often to his own detriment. This desperation can leave him ill tempered, distant, even sometimes viciously aloof. It absolutely has him wielding a far too sharp tongue from time to time, acting before thinking. Since he has ceased to run and has settled into Riverfall to wage his war, Caelum has not only found some small measure of peace but has learned how to better conceal the harsher edges of his personality.