Just a friend. (solo)

by **Jay Dasher** on June 6th, 2012, 3:32 pm

1st Summer 512 AV
Bast stuffed the cat inside his pocket then went inside the nearest shop. He went up to the shop owner and asked him if he had any wood, chalk and bolts. the shop owner went and got him the stuff and he paid the shop owner. then he went back outside and turned to go back into the alley. At first he thought he had turned the wrong way but then he remembered that this was The City Of Illusions. Where the alley should have been was now a house. Great, Bast thought, Now I have to try and find somewhere else to hide.

Bast wondered the streets once again except this time with a new objective. He looked up and down all the alleys but every one was taken. Then he spotted the perfect place. a house with a man standing outside of it. He walked up to man and looked into his eyes "This is not your house" Bast said using his hypnosis.
"Ok," the man replied and walked away.
Well that was easy, thought bast as he went inside the house.

Once inside bast quickly spread everything out on the floor and started building. It took him an hour but eventually he managed to finish it. Then he dug inside his pocket to find the cat he had nearly killed and placed it on the ground beside him.Then he drew two circles and put his creation inside one and the near dead cat inside the other. then he slit the back of his hand with his nails and let it drip into the circle. Then he started the animation process.

by **Jay Dasher** on June 6th, 2012, 7:53 pm

1st Summer 512 AV
After a long time, eventually the animation was finished. Bast went over and picked his new cat up and looked very closely at it. everything looked okay so he put it down and turned into a cat himself, he looked at the cat and they set off. They travelled nearly the entire city and then got hungry, so they went hunting.

After about half an hour they found a mouse. just sitting there. Bast arched his back and leaped onto the mouse. It didn't take long to kill the mouse. As Bast and his friend sat eating, he heard footsteps and darted into a corner but his animated creation was not sharp enough and was caught by a large man. Then everything happened in a flash. The man pulled out a knife and threw it at the cat.

The knife hit its target and his animation was dead. Anger built up in Bast and he shifted back into a human. He stormed towards the man and then looked around him and spotted a man that looked like he could kill anyone with a single punch. And even better he had an array of weapons. Bast looked into the murderers eyes and said "You want to fight that man with the weapons" Said Bast using his hypnosis. The man walked towards other man and Bast turned around and cradled his only friend in his arms. "I tried my best" He whispered "I really did"

by **Fallacy** on June 6th, 2012, 11:57 pm

XP Award!

Name: Bast
XP Award:

N/A

Lore:

N/A

Notes:

Hello and welcome to Mizahar, Bast. I am Fallacy, DS of Alvadas, and moderator of the City of Illusions. Im so glad that you chose here to start out in, but there are a few problems. Now, I understand you are new and we all stumble sometimes. The amount of lore in this place is amazing, and can be daunting at times. Here the staff tries our best to help anyone and everyone in need, and while some may take it personally please understand that Im only trying to help you help yourself by pointing out a few things that I have observed from reading both your Thread and your Character Sheet (CS for short).

Lets start with your CS first, shall we?

The first problem that pops out to me is the picture. From your thread I think you understand that Kelvics are animal shapeshifters, but to clarify: Mizahar has no Anthropomorphic races to play as. A Kelivc is either human, or he is (in your case) a cat. There is no in between form. The picture kind of worried me a bit, which is why I pointed it out. A fuller explanation of the Kelvic Race can be found here.

The second thing on your CS is your Kelvics Birthday. According to the CS right now Bast would be about 26 years old, as the current year is 512 AV. The average lifespan of a cat is 15-18 years, and even so the cat at that age would be quite old. Please note that Kelvics age just like their animal counterparts. For example, if you wanted your cat to be a teenager, he would probably be around one year old. If you want your cat to be about twenty five, well there are cat to human years age calculators all over the internet.

Please correct the age.

Please also take into account that Kelvics are animals, and do not have complicated thought processes. They would think much like their animal form would. Therefor magic would be harder for Kelvics than most other races, but I respect your choice in skills and if you want a magical cat I cannot stop from doing so. Just remember that Kelvics are animals first, the human form was only created by Markus Kelvic and does not grant them any more intelligence.

Please remember to update your CS with a current thread list, and dont forget to add your CS to your Profile. This is accomplished by going to the left hand corner of the screen and clicking on User Control Panel. After that you will see a bunch of tabs saying things like: Overview, Profile, Board Preferences, Private Messages, ect. I want you to click on Profile. After that scroll down until you see the field marked Character Sheet. Copy and paste your CS URL into that field, and then scroll all the way down and click Submit. After that the site will take you to a page where it says that your profile has been updated. If you see that, then good job! You just added your CS to your Profile!

In doing this it allows everyone from people you are threading with, to mods assessing your threads quick and easy access to your Profile to get your specs on your unique character. Which is a win-win for everyone as people dont have to go hunting for your CS

You notice that I posted the same thing found above on your CS as well. Just PM me when you have everything fixed, or if you have any questions at all. Ill be more than happy to help.

Now onto the meat and potatoes, your thread:

First off, I dont mind that it is short. You will learn and grow here as a writer as you continue to play the game. Remember that the Staff here is only here to help improve your experience in Mizahar altogether. We are here to guide you down a path and hopefully the both of us can have a lot of fun along the way. That is what this site is about, fun. First and foremost that is what I want my players to have.

With that said lets get down to the details. To build a cat, especially one that can run and frolic like I think you tried to describe would take either considerable Carpentry skill or Gadgeteering Skill. Probably both if we are being realistic. Seeing as the Kelvic only has 10 skill points in Sculpting I dont think that would quite fit the bill.

Bolts are not at all common in Mizahar. I dont think a random shopkeeper, even in Alvadas, would be able to supply them.

Hypnotism. I think you misunderstand the article. It does not control the people under its influence that dramatically. Well, it could, but it takes time and conveying. Nothing is that instant in Hypnotism, especially in lower levels. I guess what I mean to say its not the 'Jedi Mind Trick'. If you want a more instant magic please look at something like Flux, or Reimancy. Please review the Hypnotism article again and PM me with any questions you have regarding it. Ill do my best to answer them all to the best of my ability.

With your Animation you will be hard pressed to find a mod (or any mod in this case) that will award you Animation Skill, Lore, or even Animated Items without going through the steps. There is a process on the page that all animators must go through in order to do animation correctly. I would suggest reviewing that magic again
to further understand what goes behind Animation. If you flesh out and complete the process I will award you animation points.

Ok, with magic in general there should be description behind it. Not just so-and-so does Animation or Hypnotism or Reimancy or Flux. The articles go in detail about the processes of each magic, I would like to see a little more effort put into describing these. Magic is personal and has varying consequences and positive benefits. There is a lot to consider when doing any kind of magic. Describe how it feels to do the magic, what does the djed do, how does it react, what are you trying to accomplish, how does your character respond to the loss of djed, or how does the process of animation make your character feel. Make it personal to them. Give them a reason to do it (or not to do it). But the points are first and foremost in the process, the points are in the details, the points are in the creativity. Please have fun and expand your writing with little details. Details paint the picture, details make it fun.

Now if you are willing to go back and edit and work on your posts a little more I will give you an official grade. If you want to keep it as it is, and start a new a thread, a new solo, or perhaps an [open] thread, Ill grade it too when the time comes. Just please know that Im here to help you into your journey to Mizahar and I want to see your character succeed and for you to grow as a writer. I am not your enemy and neither is the rest of the staff. Welcome, and please take what I said into careful consideration.

Any questions or concerns about the rewards gained please send a PM