[Solo] Of Azos, Chupras and Rakvas, Part II

[Lucas Arias]

Spring 50, 512 AV

"It's 'chupra', not 'shukra'", Lucas informed the fat man that sat at the bar opposite of him. "I have no idea if 'shukra' is even a word in Arumenic."

He filled a mug with ale and slid it towards him. The man picked it up and immediately started drinking.

Once the mug was empty, he put it down again and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.


"And 'chupra' means what?" the fat man wanted to know.

"It's somebody that has sex with goats", Lucas patiently explained. "Eypharians often use that insult for Benshira. I don't know why. Maybe Benshira just really like goats. You don't happen to be a Benshira?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes and took a closer look at the man.

The fat man frowned, which Lucas took as a cue to change the topic.

"There's also 'foysha' which means 'peasant'. From what I know everybody but another Eypharian is a peasant to them. There's also 'azmashe' which is the dirt at the bottom of one's sandals. Seeing as neither of us is currently wearing sandals I'd say we are safe."

"Do you want to know more swears?" he asked. "They'll come in handy the next time you'll engage in one of those contests."

The fat man shrugged and showed his mug that was empty again to Lucas. He didn't really care what the boy talked about as long as the alcohol kept coming.

Lucas filled the mug a second time.

"So ... I also know a few Symenestra insults. I met a Symenestra in Syliras. No, I actually met two. One was a girl, in a bathhouse. She was mostly naked and she seemed kind of interested in me. I had no idea that those widows also harvested men. Anyway, she kept calling me 'azo' which is apparently anybody that is not Symenestra."

"And then there was this boy. At least I think he was a boy. He was really pretty, but when I touched him, I noticed that his chest was flat, so ..."

The fat man raised his hand. He had no interest in hearing about Lucas groping random boys.

"Anyway, he didn't know any creative insults, but I once met this Benshira when I was still a squire in Syliras. He didn't know a lot of Common, but he spoke Benshiran very well. One of the words I remember is 'hik'. It means 'spit'. I'm not sure why Benshira think spit is such a bad thing. Maybe it has something to do with spitting into other people's faces?"

[Lucas Arias]

Spring 55, 512 AV

The woman that sat at a table near the door, drinking from the beer that Lucas had served her, was hot to say the least. She was tall, pale and dark haired like most Nykans. Her eyes were a warm brown, her lips were full and made for kissing, and she had curves in all the right places.

She also seemed to be quite intelligent as she was currently engaged in a battle of wits with one of the regulars.

Lucas decided at once that he would draw her, so he took a piece of paper and a bit of coal out from under the bar where he kept them hidden for such occasions and started. First came the head, framed by dark locks, then came the neck. As he drew her chest, he couldn't help but blush a little as he imagined what it looked like without that blouse covering it.

The face was the hardest part. He had just never been good at drawing faces - he especially hated drawing noses - and he was so far away from her that he couldn't make out all the details.

On top of that it was harder to correct a mistake when you were drawing with coal. He made a face and sighed - and a moment later a shadow covered his drawing.

Slightly irritated the failed squire raised his head. The lovely woman he had just attempted to draw was standing there, an empty glass in hand. She didn't look particularly happy. Lucas couldn't understand why.

He hadn't been drooling, had he?

"I was asking for another glass for me and my companion about five chimes ago", she informed him. "And something to eat."

It took Lucas a moment to understand what she had said. He had been too busy wondering how she had managed to sneak up on him. He had also noticed that she was even hotter up close.

"Ummm ..." he made. "Sure."

He filled her glass, then grabbed another one, filled that as well and added a bowl with some snacks.

In the meantime the woman bent over the bar to look at his drawing. Lucas blushed and quickly hid it before she could notice that he had attempted to draw her.

The woman took the beers, and a moment later she returned to retrieve the snacks.

"By the way, I'm married", she remarked. "And you are too young for me anyway. I'm not interested in children."

"I just turned eighteen!" Lucas insisted.

The woman laughed.

"You don't look like you are eighteen. You are too short, and your cheeks are too smooth."

"What can I say, I've aged well. I've discovered the secret of immortality - or at least longevity. When I'm eighty, I'll probably look like fourty, and everybody else will envy me."

The woman shrugged her shoulders and returned to her table.

"I thought you were gay", a voice came from Lucas' left. The fat man seemed to have become one of the regulars.

Lucas glared at him.

"I thought he was a girl. He was really short and pretty! I like women!"

"Sure", the fat man said.

"Shut up!" Lucas replied.

[Lucas Arias]

Spring 57, 512 AV

"I'm going to enter the trial next season", the dark haired man told Lucas. The failed squire estimated him to be about his own age, although he was almost a foot taller.

"Which trial?" Lucas asked as he filled a glass with beer for him. "The monk trial?"

"Yes!" The man grinned all over his face. It was obvious that he was very excited.

"So which of the Alvina do you serve?" Lucas wanted to know. In his opinion the man was a bit too excited. Lucas had been in the Aperture.

It wasn't an experience that he wanted to repeat anytime soon.

"Uphis?" he guessed. If he ever decided to become a monk, that was who he would serve.

"No, Skerr", the hopefully future monk replied.

"Skerr?" Lucas asked and handed him his drink. He furrowed his brow.

"Isn't that the pregnant ..." He'd wanted to say 'pregnant chick', but you didn't call a demigoddess that.

"... lady?" he finished.

The man nodded and took a sip.

Lucas frowned.

"How long has she been pregnant?" he wanted to know.

"Since before I was born!" the man replied. Judging from the tone of his voice he didn't seem to find that weird at all.

Lucas on the other hand frowned harder.

"How can any woman be pregnant that long?" he wanted to know. "If she's been pregnant for decades, shouldn't her belly be much bigger?"

He extended his hands as far as possible to show the man how big exactly he thought Skerr's belly should be.

Shouldn't her baby be an adult by now?

The thought of a demi goddess with an adult inside of her disgusted him a little.

"Who is the father by the way? Another Alvina? A monk? Rhysol? The male half of Kelwyn?"

The prospective monk glared at him, and Lucas realized that the question might have been a little problematic.

"Sorry", he murmurred. "I didn't mean to offend you or your goddess. I'm just wondering."

The man nodded.

"We all are, but she doesn't talk about it."

He finished his beer.

[Lucas Arias]

Spring 60, 512 AV

"So", the fat man wondered. "Do you know any other insults?"

Lucas who had just been cleaning a few glasses with a rag looked up.

"Rakva", he replied.

"What does that mean?" the fat man wanted to know.

"Benshira use it for anybody that is not a Benshira."

"Boring. Give me another one. And some ale."

Lucas filled a mug with ale, and then he furrowed his brow.

"Allahini sikeyim", he decided. "That's a back-stabber, but one that is bad enough at it to be caught. I guess it also kind of means idiot. It's an Eypharian insult of course. Apparently Eypharians don't have a problem with back-stabbers as long as they do it the right way."

"Hmm", the fat man made. "Do you know any insults that are not Eypharian?"

"Benachag?" Lucas asked. "A son of locusts. Another Benshiran insult that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And ..."

He stopped as he heard a particularly nasty sound. One of the patrons had just vomitted all over the table and was looking thoroughly sick.

"I shouldn't have served him that last beer", Lucas murmurred. "Excuse me for a moment."

He walked towards the drunk in question and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You need to go home."

The drunk's only reply was, "Beer!"

The word came out a little slurred, and the man looked as if he might just be sick again.

"No, I don't think so. One more beer might kill you. Go home."

At that the drunk raised his fist and attempted to punch Lucas.

Lucas evaded and made a face. "That was a bad idea. I'm a Syliras trained swordsman. You don't want to mess with me."

He grabbed the man with both hands to throw him out of the door.

Unfortunately the drunk was much taller and stronger than him (like almost any other man).

"You heard what the boy said", came the fat man's voice who had decided to help.

Together they dragged the drunk out.

"Syliras trained swordsman, huh?" the fat man said once the drunk had stumbled out of sight.

Lucas nodded.

"More like a failed squire", the fat man decided. "And where's your sword? Did you forget it at home?"

Lucas glared at him, grabbed a rag and a bucket of water and went to clean the table that had been vomitted on.

The fat man watched him closely, grinning.

[Liar]

EXPERIENCE AWARD Lucas Arias Skill Points Leadership 2 Teaching 1 Drawing 1 Interrogation 1 Intimidation 1 Lore Drawing Female Proportions Skerr’s Pregnancy Cleaning Vomit Contact: The Fat Man Notes This little series of anecdotes was so entertaining. Thanks for the read. :)