Maraithe/Faedriel

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Maraithe/Faedriel

Postby faedriel on July 9th, 2012, 2:04 am

Character Name: Maraithe Pabaisa Schaden-Skade, aka Rai but her performer name is Faedriel

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Race: Glithrarian, from the planet Glithrarion. Planet is located on the edge of the Crab Nebula right next to Dstelo. She is a half breed, her other half is one of the Scandinavian näck, näkki, nøkk, nøkken, strömkarl, Grim or Fosse-Grim who were water spirits who played enchanted songs on the violin, luring women and children to drown in lakes or streams. However, not all of these spirits were necessarily malevolent; in fact, many stories exist that indicate at the very least that nøkken were entirely harmless to their audience and attracted not only women and children, but men as well with their sweet songs. Stories also exist wherein the Fossegrim agreed to live with a human who had fallen in love with him, but many of these stories ended with the nøkken returning to his home, usually a nearby waterfall or brook. Nøkken are said to grow despondent if they do not have free, regular contact with a water source. If properly approached, he will teach a musician to play so adeptly "that the trees dance and waterfalls stop at his music.

Gender: Female

Appearance: Greyish greenish skin, white blank eyes, and long pointed ears. Hair is black and grows in an inch wide strip on the center of her head. She doesn't have any clothes other than a torn black shirt and some army green cargo pants.

History: Sent to Earth because of yet another pointless war, Maraithe was adopted by an old man who had a fascination with unearthly beings. He raised her well before dying off slowly, she did all she could but his end was inevitable. She didn't ever really care about someone that much since and hasn't been able to cope with any kind of relationship. She decided on hanging around populated areas to entertain people and make a bit of money just to get by. On occasion she is mistaken for a woman selling her body and has been assaulted a few times, but that doesn't stop her from doing what she's got to do.

Personality: Untrusting, sarcastic, rude, wise ass, blunt; pretty much a bitch until she warms up to anyone and then she's possibly less of a bitch. If you mess with anyone close to her she'll defend them, not because she actually cares, but because that's what she was taught was right.

Likes: Things that glow, she likes to collect fireflies and is happiest wandering through dark caves full of glowing mushrooms and insects.

Dislikes: Liars, cheaters, users.

Weakness: Not being able to reciprocate emotions, being used or lied to.

Weapon: Another set of arms and some tentacles if she needs them.

Other: Her blood glows and flows like the contents of a lava lamp.

Inventory
☆ 1 Set of Clothing: Black tattered shirt, green pants with plenty of pockets, no shoes, no cloak
☆ 1 Waterskin
☆ 1 Backpack which contains:
☆ 1 Set of Toiletries (comb, brush, razor, soap)
☆ Food for a week or 1 bottle of embalming fluid (for Nuits)
☆ 1 eating knife
☆ Flint & Steel
☆ 600 gold rimmed Mizas
☆ Pocket knife
☆ Jar used for capturing bugs

Training and Skill points
Wilderness Survival - 15pts
Brawling - 10pts
Storytelling - 13pts
Hunting - 20pts

Lore
Creation/breeding animals
Storytelling/Comedy/entertainment

Languages
Norsk - Fluent
Char - Basic
Kelvic - Poor

Ledger (Required)
I was unclear about this part, what exactly is this? :S
faedriel
Fosse Grimm
 
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Character sheet

Maraithe/Faedriel

Postby Phoenix on July 15th, 2012, 2:36 am

Image

Moderator Note:

Hey there, Faedriel

We have some big problems here, so lets start from the top and work down.

First, The Title of your CS needs to match your Username, and on top of that we ask that you capitalize your Username as well. If Faedriel is what you choose, then Faedriel needs to be the title. You can state her Maraithe name within the CS itself

Second, you need an actual birthday including day, season and year. Just stating the age will not do.

Third, and this is the big one, your race doesn't exist. Clearly, you need to read the starting package and check out the lore and the wiki as well. Links to the races available on Mizahar are right across the top of the page. Everything you have written here about her race is wrong and needs to be changed, along with her apparence and history as well.

Your likes are... wrong. I'm sorry to say that but there is just no where for her to wander happily through caves of glowing mushrooms. Again, please read the lore. If there are such places as this on Miz, they are specific to an aera and it needs to be stated as so in your CS.

Under Other: Her blood glows and flows like the contents of a lava lamp. No. Just no. There are no lava lamps on Miz, and none of the races blood glow or flow in such a way. Please get rid of this.

Your Skills are set up wrong. Please see this link for the proper setup. You have the Wilderness Survival skill which means you also need to change your lores to fit, as according to this link.

Your Ledger is in the wrong place and you need to state your 100GM starting package and +500 GM housing turn in separately.

Norsk isn't a language. You need to chose another that actually exists within Mizahar. Please see the wiki for the list of languages available.

Once you have addressed these issues, feel free to send a PM to myself or any of the CS liaisons in order to get this intervention removed!

Thanks,
-Phoenix.
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Phoenix
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