Old wounds and new faces (Kali)

by **Banir Ironwood** on December 13th, 2012, 9:15 pm

Banir's eyes steadily became a little more black on the edges as they ascended the stairs into the city. This was taking more restraint than he thought. To just run and flee from her to simply hide and be bothered no more. To just let the scars on his face remain and remind him that his place in this world was beneath others. And that until his business with his father was concluded that he would remain so. However, that annoying little voice, the one that was soft and gentle with that touch of kindness. It ascended past his thoughts breaking his nervousness though it didn't disperse it. The voice of his mother rang out again.

Don't be nervous, it'll be okay. She's going to help you.

Words of comfort he'd never heard before, other than inside his own mind. A simple fabrication from his own fantasy, a reality he had never heard of before. Yet for some reason this woman was showing him kindness. He should stop being such a damn coward, he should stop being an ungrateful fool. She was offering to do something he couldn't giving him kind words and small bits of hope. If he kept this behavior up he'd only prove to be a bastard, a word of common his father often graciously gave him. With renewed inner strength and eyes a calm white rimming with red, he looked onward to see Nature's Nurture before them. Still being led by the hand of Kali as they walked by the stares of the other healers. He quickly got nervous again as his eyes became red with black steadily eating away at the edges of his eyes. Should he really be here? He had done things, bad things, when he was in his rage. Nothing was safe from him and his destructive touch. If he raged here he'd hurt the people that healed those in in pain. What right did he have to be healed himself? However before he could answer such a question he felt Kali's grip leave his hand. Looking as he watched her moved through the door to what he believed was her office of a sort. He stood at the thresh hold, paused as the black of fear slowly overtook his eyes. Could he really do this? Go in and show his face? Show the disgrace that marked him so clearly?

He was starting to panic, his hands became sweaty, his grip tightened and loosened. The eyes quickly exploded into red once more, he hated emotion, he was starting to wish he could never feel it again. He wished he never had to have this weakness, to have the pain of holding back the rage. To just let lose and be free of it, to just withdraw inside himself and never have to face the outside world.

You pathetic weakling, you should have died long before you entered this world!

The voice of his father, enticing not his rage however but his courage, determination, and his stubbornness. He'd prove his father wrong, he was better than what his father gave him worth. This would not defeat him. He'd break through the torment his father had forced him in. With a large gulp he walked into the healer's room, his red eyes blazed with rage but restrained. As he stood there awaiting for whatever would come he tried to force his body to relax. Though his efforts where mostly for naught he at least managed to put forth a calm front. When she asked for him to remove his armour he sighed and simply figured it for the best. He was after all a major threat, more so with his weapon on him. Looking at the straps he began to undo them, the heavy armour shifting as it loosened. Removing each part of his heavy cold iron he set it down on the floor. Trying to keep the pile as neat as he could, he however kept his shoulder guards on. The armour he wore was meant to protect him, it offered a security much like that of his scarf and hood. Standing there awkwardly he listened to her with careful intent.

Kali spoke of tea and kept up a calm manner, he felt to nervous to sit. His knees locked in place allowing for very little movement on his part. Soon it hit him, the Surge he often only felt when enraged or in a desperate fight. Heart hammering hard, breathing faster, the tightening in his muscles, the sweat on his brow. His senses going into overdrive as he took in his surroundings, red eyes darting around the room. Only ever coming back to Kali as she made her tea, he cold smell it. It smelled nice, he never had tea before. The few luxuries he had as a child where water and whatever he could drink when his father wasn't looking; which was only alcohol. Trying to calm down and focus he steadied his breath, taking long slow breaths and smelling the tea. He found that his heart wasn't pounding as hard, his body was relaxing. Maybe the tea may actually taste good? As she turned to him and offered a mug he took it. His hands still shaking slightly, his grip iron strong on the handle of the mug. Slowly he brought it up to his face and inhaled deeply, though his nose was hidden behind his scarf he could smell it clear as day. It smelled amazing, the honey in it was nice and sweet, relaxing even. However he couldn't quite bring himself to drink it. As he realized he'd have to remove his scarf to do so, a small fear gripped him once more, clouding around the edge of his eyes.

by **Sahashkalila** on December 15th, 2012, 2:55 pm

She was pleasantly surprised that he had complied to her request, noting that he had piled his armor neatly to the side, or as neat as one could pile armor. Once the immediate concern was gone, the tension in her shoulders faded, a small sigh escaping her before she took a sip of tea. He had taken the mug she had offered him as well, which in her mind was a good sign. But the more that she watched him, the more she realized that he seemed nervous, as if he wasn't sure of the protocol in this situation. He hadn't removed his scarf yet to take a sip of tea, and she realized that she was going to have to be his guidance. Smiling gently, she brought her mug up again and inhaled, enjoying the scent of the tea just like he was and cocked her head to the side. "Well Hethe will be grateful that I'm not ruining any ssheetss thiss time,"she said with a chuckle, walking over and nudging his armor with a toe and realizing that she couldn't move it without strain. She had never worn armor but had seen enough men who did, and she often wondered how they even moved in the clanking mass of metal.

She turned back to face him and saw that he still hadn't moved, and so she took it upon herself to move him. Stepping forward slowly, the reached out her free hand and placed it beneath his elbow, pushing on him gently until he moved and lowered him onto the bed and coming to sit beside him. It was a curious thing for her, guiding him like this. It was almost as if he was a child that she had to coax, and his pain must be hard to bare for him to act the way that he did. Kalila knew pain and suffering, and she knew that sometimes it made people act in ways that were unexplainable. But it was all about how she let it rule her life. She could have spent her entire life in bitterness and anger, but instead she picked herself up and kept going. She had her brother to thank for that, despite what was said between them. That was life, and she could not change her circumstances, no matter how much she may have wanted to. She wanted him to know that too.

"I did not poisson that you know,"she said wryly, as if she was amused with a private joke. There was no reason for him to know her true nature unless he asked, and she wasn't going to lie about it. "That tea will help your throat, and I would like you to drink all of it, unlesss you don't like honey....I can make you ssome more if you would like."

by **Banir Ironwood** on December 15th, 2012, 3:56 pm

Being around Kali was strange, she always spoke soft and gentle. She never raised her voice and her temper never seemed to boil if he did do or mess something up. He had no definition for what she was, he knew not of a mothers touch. Only the words that his mind would whisper to itself, and those gave little comfort to him. And when she touched him he didn't cringe or coil away, he had merely let her guide him to the bed. He was so afraid to lose himself in his rage, so afraid that he might hurt this woman. In his mind he was screaming not to show his face, not to let her see his scars that dwelt there entrenched where they lay. However against his better judgement, and every fiber of his being shouting out not to. A hand had begun to move towards his scarf, it gripped over his mouth. Fingers holding hard unto his face like he would rip off his own jaw where he to be frightened any further. But no rather than do such a thing to himself, he began to lower his scarf. Revealing the large torn gap in his nose, the marred and ruined flesh left in the wake of both heat and iron. Showing his left eye that was pulled a little into a scar. He had never been able to fully close that eye since. The small twist in his left nostril as it was just barely missed the path of another scar. In the wake of this same scar Banir had a large divot in his lips. Here flesh slowly healed to reseal his lips every so often, making talking a worse pain than it already was.

With the worst of it shown he managed to pull the scarf off and set it beside himself. However the hood remained and blocked any significant view from the side. Though if Kali where to look right at his face, he doubted she'd see much past the scars. Though Banir had walked on Mizahar for thirty seven years, he looked no older than a young man of nineteen years. Though he had not the arrogance of youth, he had matured with his years his body took more time. Without realizing it he was bringing the mug up to his face. Placing his scared lips on the rim and tilting the full mug back slightly. Opening his mouth he let it slide down like it was ale. An unfortunate mistake as although he found the taste quite nice, even if it felt like he was chewing leaves and honey. It was HOT, way to hot. Quickly he pulled it away from his lips spilling a bit on the floor. Cringing in pain he brought a hand to his mouth, he let out a groan of pain. On the outside he had tough skin and bones hard as rock. On the inside however his flesh was not as strong. So when he had made his little mistake. He had paid for it dearly and his mind quickly began to work against him. Had she done this purposely? Was there actually some type of poison inside the drink that felt like he was drinking fire?

Why would she bring you to a public place to harm you?

Pausing as he heard his mothers voice once more in his head. The only guide for reason he had when alone and on his own. He was being an idiot, it was just a warm drink. That was all, as weird as it sounded to have a drink warm. It tasted nice at least, could do without the weird leaf taste though. Silently he moved his hand from his mouth and rubbed his throat. Though the burning sensation was only momentary, he realized it had gone down so easily. Trying again he brought the mug to his lips and tilted back having to go a little farther this time. As he tilted the mug his head tilted with it revealing his full face to the world. Something he had only done when alone, however his mind was focused on not being burnt by the tea to care. Taking slow and careful drinks he kept his head tilted up. On his throat was an old wound, clear someone or something heavy had put a lot of force there. It would make most sick to watch the damaged flesh move to drink or eat. Another reason why Banir had started to cover his face at such a young age. Once the cup was empty he set it on the floor. His short dirty blonde hair free and open to the air. It felt odd being free, and that's when his red eyes began to burn in rage. Realizing what was happening his heart hammered in his chest, breath drew in panic. He shut his eyes to the world trying to contain rage and fear.

Hurt them! Strangle them! Kill Them! WATCH THEM SQUIRM UNTIL THEY ARE DEAD! PROVE YOURSELF THE MONSTER THAT YOU ARE!

No! He'd not lose! Not to his rage! Not to the phantom in his mind. Instead he clutched his head, forcing back his emotion until it began to physically hurt. Sweat glistened on his brow, his eyes stung as he tried to impose his will over emotion. Why did he have to be born? Where he dead with his mother at least they could have embraced Dira together. At least he could have known her for the seconds of life he had. Why did he have to be born such a freak. He shook his head in his hands, clutching the sides of his skull tighter. Those where thoughts that would do him no good. He was a man! He had been hit with an anvil, smacked around, punched, beaten, taken a few arrows, and he had always come out. Nothing had kept him down and he'd be damned if this would stop him from being helped. Forcing a little bit of calm white at the edges of his powerful red rage. He let his hand fall to his knees as he turned, and looked directly at Kali. A pinch of fear in his face, and a sadness that his eyes didn't seem to portray in his features. For the first time in many long years, Banir had finally shown his face to someone.

by **Sahashkalila** on December 16th, 2012, 2:44 am

Kalila did not rush him, as it was important for him to do this on his own. He was a quiet fellow, and she assumed that was because of his damaged vocal chords that he didn't speak much. It saddened her really, to see someone who had been damaged so, both physically and mentally. It had altered his entire lifestyle, and Kalila could only be patient and let him take as much time as he needed. She understood where he was coming from though. He didn't know her nor was he close to her, she was just some stranger that he had met in the woods that claimed she wanted to help. It was only natural of him to be suspicious of her, but she was incredibly pleased as he begin to remove the scarf, showing her what she had dreaded to see.

She didn't want to be rude and stare, but she could not help but notice the terrible state that his skin was in. It was if someone had melted it then tried to sew it back together. It was a lot worse than she had originally thought, although she had seen worse, but she didn't wince or show any sign of what she was thinking. Instead she looked at him in alarm when he sputtered, worried that he choked on it. "I'm sssorry! Perhapsss it wasss too hot for you. I tend to make it how I normally drink it,"she said anxiously, her hand tightening on her own cup before he seemed to recover, gulping down the rest of the beverage. She looked carefully at his throat as his head tilted back, obviously seeing something heavy had been placed on it and damaged his vocal chords and perhaps some damage to his windpipe. This was where most of his pain was centered, and she was able to see that as he swallowed. Who would do something like that to someone? Had he gotten into some kind of fight or an accident? He obviously hadn't had proper medical care after the injuries were given, otherwise she felt that they may not have been so bad if he had done so, and perhaps even corrected. But there was no time to dwell over that now.

His hood had fallen back to reveal a mop of blonde hair and more emotions that she could physically see pass through him. His body had become tense and in turn, so had she. She didn't know what to expect from him, despite her belief that he wouldn't harm her, because there was an unstable quality about it. She said nothing though, staying completely still until he managed to grasp his emotions and look her fully in the face, the tension leaving her shoulders once again. Despite the fact that his face was ravaged, she couldn't tear her gaze away from his eyes. They were captivating in their own way, telling her a story that he couldn't verbally. Moving slowly, she picked up his cup from the ground and set it on the bedside table with hers, coming back to sit on the bed next to him again. "You have the mosst beautiful eyess,"she said finally, scooting a little closer to look both at his eyes and his face. "You have Vantha blood, the eyess are what give it away. I have met one other Vantha, and her eyess changed much like yourss....and they are beautiful to watch." She paused for a moment to reach out slowly and push a few stray strands of blonde hair away from his eyes, watching them carefully for any sort of reaction. "It iss ssaid that the Vantha cannot lie, for in their eyess liess the truth for all to ssee if one iss clever enough to look. I can sssee your pain....and I jusst want to lesssen it. I cannot take the burden from you, for it sseemss it iss deeper than any medicine can reach. But I can help eassse the weight if you will let me." Here she paused once again, falling silent and continuing to look at him and his ever changing eyes, folding her hands in her lap. "To do thiss, you musst trusst me, and know that I do not mean you harm. The Godessss will guide me, and you...." she held her hands out to him, her palms facing upward and intending for him to grasp her wrists and place her hands on his skin. "You will guide my handss." It was the only way that she could think of that would give him some sort of control over the situation. Now she could only hope that he would agree.

by **Banir Ironwood** on December 16th, 2012, 7:27 am

Every second his face was revealed to the world was a toil in pain and restraint that he could not measure. He was trying to breathe calm and even, but he was barely able to. Sweat kept growing on his brow as his eyes darted around the room. She caught his attention as she walked away for a moment, without someone directly looking at him he gained ground in his inner turmoil. Though it was quickly lost as she returned to sit by him. Both hands where balled into fists, tight enough that he was about to draw blood from his fingers indents. This was hard, maybe too hard, to hold back. The rage that told him to tear everything apart and hold nothing back. He didn't want to be a monster, he didn't want to be a threat to everyone he knew. Was it wrong for him to receive this healing? Was it wrong that he was trying to fix what he had deserved in the first place? Maybe the best answer would be to end his own life, end it once and for all so everyone else would be safe. Without him this woman could tend to people who really needed her healing touch, her medicine, her skills. He was about to panic, his heart felt like it would rip free of his chest and grant his wish of death. However he was caught off guard when she spoke to him. Blinking he focused his eyes back on Kali.

As he heard her words his face quickly turned flush, the thick cheek bones turned a crimson and his eyes a lighter red. His eyes where beautiful? She had managed to disrupt his thoughts of chaos, thoughts of violence and rage. With just a simple sentence. Though he thought that she had gone a little off the deep end he didn't see how his eyes where beautiful. All that was held within them was rage, pure and undiluted by time. Yet she had found them beautiful?! What was this woman? Why did she have to care about him? Doubt and confusion wormed its way into his mind. Was she touched in the head, or had the gods decided to show mercy on him? Was this mercy even deserved? Or perhaps this was a trap of some sort. When she told him they where beautiful to watch his face deepened in its crimson colour though it seemed to be a more metallic red. His eyes in turn became a lighter red in response to his cheeks. And when she moved the hair from his eyes his cheeks turned a deeper metallic red while his eyes became closer from a light red to a more pink colour. What was happening to him? His heart was pounding but it wasn't from rage. She was making a strange feeling rush through him and he didn't like it. It felt too weird, too odd. It reminded him of the same feeling that had struck him back in the woods.

For thirty seven years, thirty seven very long years, he had never felt the touch or care of a woman. He had known endless abuse at the hands of his father, he had been through so much. Most men of his youth had not gone through even a quarter of what he had. But for the split second he had felt her fingers move his hair. He had been dumped into a world completely knew to him, utterly strange and alien. There where no words that his mind could conjure for what was happening. He knew of no one that could explain this, his mind was utterly stumped and halted in thought. She was speaking again and her words did make sense. And ring more than a few truth's in his mind. But as she held out her hands to him, his first thought was that it was a surprise attack. His whole body tensed and he moved back a little, his thick arms ready to put her in a wall. Tough and battle hardened fists held tight as his eyes had a flash of black. Engulfing the light pink that had been there and replacing it with with the rage that had been eating at him. The flush fell from his cheeks as they turned back to their original pigmentation. Though he noticed that there was nothing in or on her hands. No salve, or anything he could identify as a threat. Just open hands, however he had heard a man's neck could be snapped with bare and open hands. She spoke of a goddess but he knew not of which one she spoke of. Logic was crippled in his mind as he gazed at her.

His face showed almost a sense of betrayal, regret, and anger. His breathing had picked up again as he had to make the effort once again to restrain his emotion. He had to guide and trust her hands, how would she heal with just her hands? Could she be a priest of Rak'keli? Even so should he trust her? Put his life in her hands for a promise that he had no guarantee with? He tried to reason with his nerves, his fighters instinct telling him to eliminate her before she did him in. But why here with people that would hear the snap of bones? Reason began to weigh in her favor even if his warrior's side didn't like the idea of letting her have a chance to kill him. No he had to do this, but he had to guide her hands? There where so many questions but he was beginning to trust her, he'd have some control at least. Even if she did make a move he didn't like he could snap her wrists. They where rather small, and delicate looking. Slowly moving back to where he had sat before he took a long moments pause. Looking at her hands he felt that he may as well take a gamble. With nervous hands he reached up and grabbed her wrists. At first his grip was like irons that had been put on too tight. However he managed to loosen up a little after a deep and painful swallow.

Managing a few words he took a deep and shaken breath. "I am trusting, you. Don't betray me." Simple and too the point, though it was not a threat. It didn't even have much authority within it. It was a request, the closest he could come to and the most polite he could make it within this situation. He would have to make sure to thank her properly and apologize for his actions and behavior. That's if she didn't kill him at least. With more fear than anything he took her hands and placed them on his face. His eyes shut tight waiting for the motion that would take life from him. But instead what he felt was a soft and gentle warmth that he had never known. A soft and gentle warmth he may never know again ether.

by **Sahashkalila** on December 17th, 2012, 1:34 am

Kalila waited patiently for him to take her hands, slightly worried at his sudden recoil when she placed her hands towards him. It was almost like dealing with a child, and while he wasn't small, he still had to trust her and put his faith in her. And it required all the patience that she processed. However she was incredibly pleased when he made the move to grasp her wrists, his hands dwarfing her. His grip was tight, almost too tight for her, and blood rushed to her fingertips as she winced before his grip slackened, causing her to sigh in relief. She knew there was going to be a little bruising from where he grasped her, but that was trivial compared to his pain. She held her breath as he slowly moved her hands towards his skin, his words causing her heart to constrict before answering him. "Do not be afraid,"she said softly, finally touching his ravaged skin and brushing her thumbs gently along his cheekbones in a soothing gesture. "There will be a gentle light and you will feel a warmth passs through you, that isss jussst Rak'keli'ss will moving through me to help you. Do not worry."

"Everything iss going to be alright now."

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she turned her focus to what lay beneath her fingertips, the flow of his vitality evident to her mind. First she focused on his eye, imagining the muscles unknitting where it was pulled downward and slowly righting itself, the burning light in her minds eye washing away any impurities that it found. Once that task was finished and she put the muscles in their right places, she focused on the scars that crossed his face. She couldn't remove them completely, that was beyond any power that she possessed, but she could make them fade. She then proceeded to heal the burned and damaged skin beneath the surface, removing the impurities once again and gradually reducing the harsh lines and fixing the slit in his nose. She was quickly becoming exhausted, the effort she was pouring out of her to heal him was taking its toll on her, but she couldn't quit yet. This man had put his trust in her to help him, and she wasn't going to stop until she couldn't do any more for him. Moving her hand slightly, she trailed a finger along his lips, the skin smoothing beneath her touch and healing the damaged flesh underneath, a rosy color returning to them once more before she moved her hands lower. She felt the grip on her hands tighten and could feel him tense beneath her hands, but she did not open her eyes.

"Relax,"she said softly, looking with her minds eye at the damaged flesh. She couldn't heal all of it, that was something else that was beyond her skill. So instead, she once again began to heal the damaged skin, the lines growing softer once more. She did all the she could for his vocal chords, burning away the impurities and trying to sooth the irritation there.....but had to stop when it became too much for her. She simply couldn't heal them completely, and after a few more moments of trying, she finally opened her eyes, a shuddering breath escaping her. She was exhausted, and she slumped as her body demanded rest for what she had done. Sweat had beaded on her brow and she smiled at him faintly. "I have done all that I can, and all that the Goddessss hass allowed me too,"she said softly, watching him wearily. "But you sshould not hide your face from the world Banir, it iss a pleassant one." She then nodded towards her workable, and there resided a small mirror that she used to help her see during operations. "Go and ssee for yoursself."

by **Banir Ironwood** on December 17th, 2012, 8:59 am

Banir had shut his eyes during the procedure, wondering what on earth was happening as he felt her touch on his face. He had no idea what was going on but should he open his eyes he knew he'd only see the bright light of her hands. His face was warm, really warm, like he had fallen in a snowbank only to immediately walk into a forge. It was uncomfortable, and this became all the more so when he felt something. Something was changing on his face and he could feel it. It was strange like something on him was moving on its own. It was an experience that he couldn't describe. Pleasant but unnerving at the same time, surely this wasn't the work of normal djed? He now understood why Kali had spoken of a goddess before. She must be some sort of devout follower of Rak'keli, he had sought to get his face healed in Mura before. He now realized if he stuck around here he may in fact be able to have it healed here. Taking a few long and slow breaths he waited. Feeling her hands glide over his face and then his lips, where his eyes open they would have flashed pink as he felt his cheeks deepen in colour. Her touch was so soft, then he felt her hands move to his throat. Reflexively he squeezed her wrists and was almost ready to snap them off.

"Relax"

She had said, after a brief moment he did, his grip loosened up and allowed her to continue with her magic. Once he felt the warmth fade he let go of her hands and let her retreat and rest. Looking at her his eyes became their original lighter red as he noticed she was looking at him. Listening to her say she had done all that she could, and that he shouldn't hide his face. For a split second he didn't understand, however her next words forced a blush and a flash of pink in his eyes. Though it quickly became light red she pointed to a mirror where he would be able to see his face. In all honesty he was nervous beyond belief to see his face. Perhaps even a little afraid to see his own reflection now. He had lived so long with his scared face, living with the damage his father had done and never moving on from that. However he felt curious to see what he looked like. She said his face was a pleasant one, he didn't believe her, but he was at least willing to look. At his new appearance, standing up his heavy bulk moved to the mirror. Grabbing it with his hands he aimed it towards his face. The sight that he saw put him into a pure shock of surprise.

Standing motionless for long and full chimes his eyes flurried through more emotions than his eyes could keep up with. Confidence flooded into his mind, then those of triumph, then joy. A pure joy, he felt a tear come to his eye and tried to blink it away. It fell though, and landed on the mirror. Turning and looking at Kali his eyes now completely dominated by a happy yellow. There was not a trace of rage in his eyes just pure yellow as he gazed at her awe struck. Though she had healed his face considerably he was still a long way from being able to show it in public much less anything simpler. He knew it would hurt and that he'd pay for it later, but regardless he forced a smile on his lips. Pushing at the scared flesh, it looked awkward almost unnatural on his face. He set the mirror down and walked over to Kali, he didn't know what to do. Never before had he been this grateful to someone, his face was stricken with confusion as he tried to think of the words. Pausing for a moment he began to test out his healed throat. Finding it worked much better than before, his hulking mass standing over her as his brutish demeanor became more apparent. "Thank you so very much, I've not the words to, express my gratitude, to you. I feel as if I, could give you every, miza I own and it, would still not be enough, to repay what I owe. In all honesty of, the word, I am indebted to you." He looked down at his feet, chances where healing like that was going to cost him quite a bit regardless. He may not be able to eat for a while, he'd have to ration himself out to make sure it lasted.