Banir's eyes steadily became a little more black on the edges as they ascended the stairs into the city. This was taking more restraint than he thought. To just run and flee from her to simply hide and be bothered no more. To just let the scars on his face remain and remind him that his place in this world was beneath others. And that until his business with his father was concluded that he would remain so. However, that annoying little voice, the one that was soft and gentle with that touch of kindness. It ascended past his thoughts breaking his nervousness though it didn't disperse it. The voice of his mother rang out again.
Don't be nervous, it'll be okay. She's going to help you.
Words of comfort he'd never heard before, other than inside his own mind. A simple fabrication from his own fantasy, a reality he had never heard of before. Yet for some reason this woman was showing him kindness. He should stop being such a damn coward, he should stop being an ungrateful fool. She was offering to do something he couldn't giving him kind words and small bits of hope. If he kept this behavior up he'd only prove to be a bastard, a word of common his father often graciously gave him. With renewed inner strength and eyes a calm white rimming with red, he looked onward to see Nature's Nurture before them. Still being led by the hand of Kali as they walked by the stares of the other healers. He quickly got nervous again as his eyes became red with black steadily eating away at the edges of his eyes. Should he really be here? He had done things, bad things, when he was in his rage. Nothing was safe from him and his destructive touch. If he raged here he'd hurt the people that healed those in in pain. What right did he have to be healed himself? However before he could answer such a question he felt Kali's grip leave his hand. Looking as he watched her moved through the door to what he believed was her office of a sort. He stood at the thresh hold, paused as the black of fear slowly overtook his eyes. Could he really do this? Go in and show his face? Show the disgrace that marked him so clearly?
He was starting to panic, his hands became sweaty, his grip tightened and loosened. The eyes quickly exploded into red once more, he hated emotion, he was starting to wish he could never feel it again. He wished he never had to have this weakness, to have the pain of holding back the rage. To just let lose and be free of it, to just withdraw inside himself and never have to face the outside world.
You pathetic weakling, you should have died long before you entered this world!
The voice of his father, enticing not his rage however but his courage, determination, and his stubbornness. He'd prove his father wrong, he was better than what his father gave him worth. This would not defeat him. He'd break through the torment his father had forced him in. With a large gulp he walked into the healer's room, his red eyes blazed with rage but restrained. As he stood there awaiting for whatever would come he tried to force his body to relax. Though his efforts where mostly for naught he at least managed to put forth a calm front. When she asked for him to remove his armour he sighed and simply figured it for the best. He was after all a major threat, more so with his weapon on him. Looking at the straps he began to undo them, the heavy armour shifting as it loosened. Removing each part of his heavy cold iron he set it down on the floor. Trying to keep the pile as neat as he could, he however kept his shoulder guards on. The armour he wore was meant to protect him, it offered a security much like that of his scarf and hood. Standing there awkwardly he listened to her with careful intent.
Kali spoke of tea and kept up a calm manner, he felt to nervous to sit. His knees locked in place allowing for very little movement on his part. Soon it hit him, the Surge he often only felt when enraged or in a desperate fight. Heart hammering hard, breathing faster, the tightening in his muscles, the sweat on his brow. His senses going into overdrive as he took in his surroundings, red eyes darting around the room. Only ever coming back to Kali as she made her tea, he cold smell it. It smelled nice, he never had tea before. The few luxuries he had as a child where water and whatever he could drink when his father wasn't looking; which was only alcohol. Trying to calm down and focus he steadied his breath, taking long slow breaths and smelling the tea. He found that his heart wasn't pounding as hard, his body was relaxing. Maybe the tea may actually taste good? As she turned to him and offered a mug he took it. His hands still shaking slightly, his grip iron strong on the handle of the mug. Slowly he brought it up to his face and inhaled deeply, though his nose was hidden behind his scarf he could smell it clear as day. It smelled amazing, the honey in it was nice and sweet, relaxing even. However he couldn't quite bring himself to drink it. As he realized he'd have to remove his scarf to do so, a small fear gripped him once more, clouding around the edge of his eyes.