Completed The lost Eagle of her mind (Solo)

[Cisel]

- Timestamp: Wind Reach 20th day of Spring 507 AV - About how Cisel failed to bond with the eagle Atalakaly It's said bonding with an eagle is a demanding process and albeit many Inatra feel a calling and dream about joining their minds and lives to one of the huge wind eagles, fewer will be given the chance at making this dream come true. And not all of those that get a chance to try will succeed to make the bond. Once bonded with the eagle the endal’s mind is merged with the great raptor mind of the eagle and by this it is expanded and enhanced beyond the earthbound limits of other people. They will fly high on a plane of awareness that only they will know. But there is also a truth in the old saying that the higher they fly the deeper they fall – and an endal that loses the eagle will fall. It’s said that some of them will never recover fro the shock. In misery and numb, mindblinded half life they will spend the rest of their days, mere shadows of what they once were. Some of them are even so utterly undone that they become nothing else than pitiful deks. But what happens to the ones that simply didn’t succeed ? How are the lives of those that lost their eagle before they even had it? The dream seemed to be within reach and they nearly, but only nearly managed to make it? These people haven’t lost an eagle for real. But they have seen what could have been. How do they react and how do they go on with life after this? This is a topic that few have been looking into, and not much is known about it. Perhaps the “losers”, the ones that weren’t good enough, the ones that had a chance but botched it up aren’t keen on speaking about it? Or perhaps no one have been interested in knowing. There’s a lot of dramatic and interesting things to say about endals, and there’s can be a lot of dramatic and tragic things to say about fallen endals, but really what could there be to say about those that didn’t even make it up the mental and social ladder in the first place? Yes, indeed, what of interest could there be to say about the life and adventures of a failed ex-wannabee endal …

[Cisel]

At the time Cisel first managed to catch the attention of an eagle- this was during year 506 AV - she was 26 years old and had already been firmly established as a glassmaker and member of the avora caste for a few years. From age 15 to her earlier 20’s she had been the apprentice of a pretty respected glass artisan that had found her promising and taken her on. After this she had learnt enough to go from apprentice to being an average competent employee. This was a good life, and a socially respected life too, belonging to the caste second in line, only the endal caste above it in status. So why had she felt like something invisible was missing at the core of her existence, albeit nothing in particular could be pointed out and she actually was living a good life that many could envy her ? This is hard to say. Why do people feel it, that feeling of “it should be more than only this” ? Cisel wanted this diffuse “something more” and to her the answer to what she wanted seemed to be natural : she desperately wanted to be endal. She wanted to bond with an eagle and let her mind fly high with the great bird, high above the earth. Many times had she moved into the caves within the fledglings aerie and cared for the birds in hopes one of them would link with her. But it had never succeeded.

[Cisel]

Wind Eagles have never failed to take a human partner. But the bonding between eagle and human can be a long or a short process. Wind Eagles are very choosy and never get in a hurry deciding to partner up. It can actually seem like the birds enjoy being courted too much to be in a hurry to pick just one person to attend them the rest of their lives. But not all bondings last for the rest of the eagle’s life. Wind Eagles can also reject partners and break their bondings. And if something happens to their human partner, they will take a new partner - often someone equivalent of age. These re-bondings can come in surprising and sudden ways. It is rare, but it is not unheard of for a Wind Eagle to suddenly 'rogue' and kill a rider. There is seemingly never a good reason for this, though other eagles themselves often sooth their riders when this happens by a quiet word of 'It was necessary.'

[Cisel]

When Atalykaly’s gaze first had fallen on Cisel, her mind had lit up with a sudden and intensified feeling of life, like a ray of light had descended on her and was giving her a vision of greatness and grace beyond anything she had been able to imagine. This moment had a quality that couldn’t be described. It surpassed every kind of feeling that she had ever felt in her life, and made it seem like all the time until this moment she had been living in a dark room, or with a blindfold covering her eyes. Now the eagle spoke to her in her mind, and Cisel answered, in the soundless language that goes from mind to mind. Atalakaly, it was her, she was the one. She was no hatchling, but a grown up, powerful bird looking for a new rider to bond with. The previous endal that had been bonded with Atalykaly was dead – the eagle had turned on her and taken her life, explaining nothing about it to anyone. But the eagle didn’t take lightly on it. This time, she explained, she wasn’t going to bond without knowing more about the human than she had done the previous time. The eagle was older and wiser now. There would first be a time of learning to know each other a bit. A trial, you could say. The eagle didn’t want to take any foolish risks. Killing the rider once was enough.

[Cisel]

* Once an eagle’s gaze has fallen on an Inrtra as it’s maybe chosen one, what can go wrong? Is it an easy thing to bond with a wind eagle? To some it might be. To others, not. Perhaps that depends on the individual and her or his personality and talents, perhaps it depends on who the eagle is and perhaps it depends on how the two of them fit together in practice. Or maybe it depends on something else, something unknown, that we can’t even begin to guess at. Fate? Or mere circumstance and luck, even ? Bonding can be simple or complicated; the truth lays in the perception of the endal and the eagle. Some bondings succeed and end in glorious communion, others fail. You join the endal caste in triumph. Or – yes, what do they do, those Inarta that failed to make the dream come true and had it torn away from them after just a first taste of what it could be like – do they simply go on just like before, but with no dreams left? It is believed that some of them simply go on doing what they already were doing, accept their place in their caste and content themselves with what they can get. But others turn their passionate desire to other goals, start to dream new dreams, about new things. Like we all do, like many of us mere earthbound humans do, and always have done. No matter how many dead dreams we leave behind, the future always beckons. New things appear to be worth our desire. New dreams arise from the ashes. *

[Cisel]

* When it came to Cisel, she was like inebriated with her good luck with being chosen. Albeit the bonding wasn’t done yet it didn’t even occur to her that it might never be completed. To her it seemed like it was all settled and nothing could change it. She was so sure of this that she wasn’t worried in the least when she left Wind Reach in fall of 506 for a trade trip to Lahvit. Being an avora and a glass artisan she aimed do some business, have some fun – yes – and be back in time before winter started. Unfortunately, this plan turned out to be overly optimistic, the way Cisel’s plans could sometimes be. She tended to underestimate the risks or her actions and believe in what she wanted to believe in, and sometimes in sheer luck. Lahvit had it’s own allure and pleasures, and she fell for the temptation to stay for longer time than se had planned. Once the bonding was done she would after all not leave Wind Reach often again, perhaps never at all, as the eagles didn’t accept that the endals were gone for any longer periods of time. This could be Cisels last chance to enjoy a journey like this one. Perhaps that was a weird way of thinking, now when the bonding she had been dreaming about an striving for so long what within reach. But people aren’t always so consequent. Now when Cisel finally was going to pledge herself forever to Atalaykaly and her soul was bound to soar towards the sun on eagle wings, it was like some irrational part of her bolted a bit and just wanted to be free and irresponsible. It was a totally unexpected reaction, the emotion of intense desire now turning into a need to turn around and elude the goal. She had planned for extra travelling days being consumed by troubles on the way, but the journey to Lahvit and gone extraordinarily well, and so she had started to feel she had been overly cautious and could afford a short delay. Thus it came that when she was delayed by unforeseen troubles on the way back, she had already spent the time she had calculated for unforeseen things. Winter started and a long snowstorm made it hard to go back to Wind Reach. She had to turn back to Lahvit and stay there for a while. . Perhaps the eagle was agaist taking risks. Perhaps it perceived the slight contradiction and resistance to the bonding that seemed to lurk somewhere in Cisel. Perhaps it had just expected her to court it more intensely. Atalykalay didn’t appreciate the delay. When Cisel finally managed to come back to Wind Reach, it was too late. The eagle had made up it’s mind and decided to revoke it’s plans to bond with her. And that was final. They parted the 20th day of Spring year 507 after the Valterran. Cisel was now nearly 27 years old and the dream that had dominated her life for very long time was dead. It felt like her previous life was over. Everything was just like before, with the difference that now she was aware of the eagle’s absence and the darkness she walked in. She stayed for 14 days, silent and brooding. On her 27th birthday she would leave Wind Reach. * - The End -

[Whimsy]

Cisel

Experience	Lore
+1 Observation	Avora and Wanting Something More
	Atalakaly: Wind Eagle
	Rejected Bond of a Wind Eagle

Comments
I very much enjoyed the style of writing in this thread: it was very different, and really really lovely to read. I gave you what skills and lores I could, but as you did not describe Cisel DOING very much, specifically, I couldn't give you all that much. Also, you said in the fall of 2006 - that would be 506AV, I think you mean. Please PM me if you have any questions or concerns.

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