Flashback [Real Reflection] Mirror of the State of Mind

[Fallon]

2nd Summer 509AV


It had been two days since her arrival in the Spires. Two long echoing days of nothingness. Days of hovering between a state of reality and a dream. Neither conscious or unconscious. Neither truly sleeping nor waking. But it had been longer since the true suffering had begun. It was the twenty seventh day of mourning, of wandering in and stumbling beaten and torn. Yet here sat the young Fallon, her head bent, her hands fixed firmly on her lap. Spring had come and gone, bringing forth the revival of new life with it. Yet where life had sprung in most places, it had been lost recently to her. Her mentor had been torn from her, his life – and her own - having been destroyed in an instant. All that remained was the bittersweet memories of the days before, of the time before the nightmare happened.

The girl dragged in a deep breath, seeking seclusion from the world as she sat within the confines of the grape vines. Her eyes stared ever down at the floor, fingers tensing as she fought for calm. She found herself nearing the point of breaking time and time again, but right now she could not crumble. Could she? Her eyes raised to look around her, to take in the green shades that cut out the light and filtered through the air. The air was warm, to the point that the girl had little choice but to forget about the numerous layers that she had piled on previously. Winter after all was long gone, and there was definitely no need for long coats this far south. She tugged at the collar of her shirt, her eyes glancing at the gnosis mark that lay upon her hand. It was real, all real. She still remembered the touch and the buzz of energy she had received when it was placed there, the grinding of a potter’s wheel, the hum of hands upon clay.

But that too was in the past. Just like everything else was currently. She swallowed and hunched herself back over, fingers lacing together. She felt tired, physically and mentally. But rest would not come, not matter how long she waited for it. And so she made use of the time she had gained, she tried to still her wounded mind and find a state of calm. Inhaling she stared down at the floor once more and tried to focus on drowning out the outside world.

[Zantair]

Zantair had never been here before, but he decided to explore within himself as he felt his mother must often do when she came over with the vacant face, as if lost behind a barrier of self sanctuary. There was no breeze to speak of, but the grapes hanging above could be seen occassionally swaying as if possessed by a light wind. He had plucked and eaten one of the berries upon entry, and found everything seemingly brighter, or perhaps more clean cut and what could be more felicitous when one was looking to focus on their inner selves? The various branches were rather low, even for a human, and one might occassionally have to duck to escape being assualted by a larger group of grapes, walls gave the essence of peaceful seperation, allowing one to privately reflect. Zantair could hear the sounds of movement from behind him, He knew a person had entered previously, but hadn't the mind to tell them they were actually in an already occupied room.

A noise broke the silence again, a noise that perhaps Zantair might not have noticed had he not ingested a berry, in any case, it had made him think of other things, distracting thoughts that tended to viciously invade his mind, like who was this person that intruded his area. Was it perhaps some unaware Jamoura? Or perhaps an Akalak. He'd seen Akalaks enter before.

Zantair changed into a squirrel, a rather undramatic light from the fused kelderon mimic inside him making the change, and scooted out of his clothes, leaving his tarot cards covered by the clump of simple cloth. He made his way up to the branches above, getting a good look at the person. It was a human girl, sat in a rather defeated position. Definitely not the way for someone to be when their trying to meditate, or reflect, or whatever this girl was trying to do. While normally timidly erratic, the berries had the effect of elevating his much calmer emotions to sprout; A particular emotion, in fact, was generosity. Zantair felt rather sorry for this unknown person, and he felt that perhaps he should try to help her as best as he could.

Hanging from a particular branch, he used his grippy front paws to grab a grape from the closest clump and decended to the ground before heading in her direction, placing the grape in his mouth once at ground level. He didn't want to alarm her, but the large bushy tail of his brushed against her leg accidentally; He really disliked his tail sometimes, It seemed to get in the way of things quite often. He climbed to where she sat before nudging her upper thigh. Once he felt it was safe, he slowly climbed to her lap, dropping the grape onto her leg, and catching it as it almost fell. He tried to make it obvious that he wanted her to take the grape. Perhaps it would help her, perhaps it wouldn't. He hoped his generosity wouldn't be miscontrued, or worse, returned with violence.

[Fallon]

Fallon flinched when she felt something touch her leg. She gave a shiver and straightened almost instantly as she caught sight of the culprit as it made its way past her. The girl gave a blink as it climbed its way up to her level and nudged at her. Her hands unlaced themselves, a momentary look of confusion plastering itself across there. She watched it dance upon her lap, its tiny paws holding up the grape as if it was an offering to her. She rubbed at her eyes as she looked upon it, her head shaking. She thought at first it was simply a dream, that she had indeed fallen asleep.
Aren’t squirrels supposed to be… scatter brained? she pinched herself, ensuring that she was indeed not dreaming.

She gave a sniff as the squirrel stood there, a frown forming on her face as she became uncertain on what it was the creature wanted. The only clue however was the tiny grape that was presented to her. With careful fingers she took the grape, plucking it out of its paws. She remembered the grapes on the vine about her, and looking about the scene she summoned out the words that were spoken when she entered. She vaguely remembered someone speaking about eating one of the grapes, but the reason why was beyond her. Fallon looked down at the squirrel, a wince on her face as she gently rubbed a finger against him.
“Thanks little guy,” she spoke at a whisper, her lips curling into a forced smile. She looked down at the grape between her finger and thumb before biting into it.

At first Fallon did not feel anything, only a strange bitter taste that had formed in her mouth. She did not feel any different, but as she continued a sense of calm began to nag at her. Or perhaps not calm, but a suppression of emotions that in turn gave her a release of the grief that resided within. She gave a sigh, a slightly heavy one as she straightened herself out. This was a place to meditate after all, not for simply sitting around a moping on the past. She needed to find peace within herself. She gave a small nod to the squirrel, and inhaled deeply. It was time to focus and block out the world. She could not remain defeated forever after all. Her hands came together as she tried to clear her mind, to find a state of focus to work upon. Her eyes were forced shut, blocking out her sight and whatever else may have occurred. The outside world was no the priority now after all.
In and out. In and out…
The process was repeated as she tried to find a neutral ground to start upon. She felt the images of the past flare up in her mind, of blood, of screams. Instinct made her shake her head, shooing it away to the back of her mind. She started again, firm this time with herself. She needed to get through this, one way or another, no matter how long it took.