A dirty, ill-lit place.A few months ago I determined to slap the first coat of paint on my dinky little plant stand. My intention was to get it started so that I could finish the project Saturday morning and finally know whether or not I truly, deeply, seriously wanted to paint my hulking ugly dining table the same way.
Disclaimer: this is less of a “how-to” and more of a “learn from misguided shit I do and take only the sober and/or victorious parts away”.
It needs to be said that acquiring chalk paint is not easy. It is not sold at the standard hardware stores such as Ace or Home Depot, but rather out of specialty shops. After scouring the internet to learn that the only shop in my city that sold it was not one on which I was on good terms (that is a story for another time), I finally located one in Vermont that was willing to ship the paint to me. I admit to having discovered a handful of make-your-own-chalk-paint recipes online, but considering that I am a newbie at updating furniture I thought perhaps I should save the home made tools aspect for my DIY Mastery badge.
Armed at last with my chalk paint, a red Solo cup of cheap wine and a screwdriver (nothing like the Doctor’s screwdriver, I’m afraid), I marched into my dirty, ill lit garage to face this.
This plant stand is the epitome of crappy, hand me down furniture gifted by parents to their broke children who just need a place to put a bloody fern. Does it matter that I have a brown thumb? Or that I will be placing a fake plant on it? No. It spent the last few years of its life functioning as a bedside table, holding up a lamp so that I could go from ticking off my husband to only kind of annoying him when I fell asleep while reading in bed. (Notably, my mother is ALL FOR anything she thinks will keep me happily married. I’ve never seen my parents happier than the day after my wedding when my father was able to say I wasn’t his problem anymore.)
I started by setting down my wine and taking out my phone to google whether or not you’re supposed to sand the furniture before painting. This was about the seventh time I’d done this because I was having a difficult time believing that I did not have to. Suspend your disbelief, DIY newbies and veterans alike, you sure as hell don’t have to sand before using chalk paint.
Reassured, I wiped down the plant stand to remove any dust and pried open the can of French Linen paint. I decided on French Linen because it is a lovely, old world gray darker than their Country Gray which looked far too pale for what I wanted. I used a regular paint brush, brand new out of the package. It was a brush of average size and if you want to know more than that I’ll have to post a picture because I certainly didn’t pay attention to things such as exact brush size, bristle type, et cetera.
Starting from the top, I painted my way down. My technique consisted of
putting the paint on the plant stand. Hand to God. Nothing more complicated than that. It took me all of ten minutes on the outside to complete, so I poured myself another Solo cup of wine and stood around chit chatting with my girlfriend who came by to have some quality venting about our work day. The color turned out perfect even by the poor garage lighting and I counted myself accomplished for the night.
The next day, I trooped out to the garage in my pajamas and with a cup of coffee to complete the project. I had clear wax and dark wax from the same vendor and, just like with the no-sanding, I googled how to use the wax about a dozen times. Clear wax went on first and less was better than more. I started out using a sturdy paper towel only discover that was a bad idea. Once I switched to a soft cloth for the wax application things went smoothly. The clear wax I applied all over and then I dabbed at the plant stand with the dark wax in an attempt to enhance the coveted antique-y (is that even a word?) look.
Voila! I was done.
I’m rather happy with the finished product, though my husband told me it looked like a dirty, gray table to him. Whatever. The man doesn’t have a decorating bone in his body. I think sandpapering the corners to reveal the layers of paint might be what’s needed. What do ya’ll think? I ended up turning my dining table room table from monstrosity to fashionably ugly using around this same technique.
Fast forward a few months, I’ve now overhauled a club chair, hand built a coffee table, and are mid way through building a headboard. It’s like a sickness.
Seriously.
- k.