Completed [Sultros Blades] Steeling {Ethan}

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn watched him with raised eyebrows. She had no idea what to expect. Despite initial apprehension she sat in silence while he did his business. Everyday magic really had no bearing on her life and as such the woman didn't have much of an opinion on it. On a whole she understood it to something that deserved both caution and respect. When he completed his trick Hadyn stood and approached him. Eyes widened she started at the blade. It was closest she'd been to magic and she couldn't decide what to say. Looking at Ethan she cast him a smile.

"Mercy, Ethan. You should take that'un to the Casket. Get all the ladies, I've no doubt." Hadyn returned her gaze to the weapon. She had no idea how he did it or what would become of the blade. She was so entirely out of her element their previous conversation and distress was far from her mind. Likely that was his intention, the kind man. Feeling a bit nauseated from standing so quickly the brunette returned to her seat with an apologetic grin.

"Impressive," she breathed as she sat. "Forgive me but I'm not exactly at m'best tonight."

As fascinating as his display was nothing could truly distract her from the situation for long. Glancing at the crib the woman sighed. Having only a select number of friends meant she had to be careful who she spoke to about her troubles. Her greatest concern was overburdening them. Admittedly it was difficult for her to open up to begin with, but on those rare occasions, she found herself horribly ill at ease. Casting a small smile his way, Hadyn ran a hand through the loose waves of hair near the crown of her head, the bun at her neck rustling with the movement.

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan allowed the shield to dissipate, slowly it’s essence loosen and the heat that was being held inside began to expand outward. Ethan placed the blade back into the flame and put the tongs back on the rack. Ethan smiled at Hadyn, “Well, should I ask or go away Hadyn? Saying y’not at y’best, means either we have somethin’ else to discuss or I need to go. Personally, I was going to wait till you headed home and carry the crib for you, but if you don’t need me to then… ok.” Ethan knew something was still on Hadyn’s mind, but this was one of those moments that Hadyn, needed to determine if she wanted to say anything. So Ethan didn’t ask to stay and didn’t add more pressure to Hadyn by forcing her to tell him what was on her mind. Ethan wanted to allow Hadyn the chance to do whatever desired. Of course, as Ethan stared at her backside he was hoping that she wanted something else. Ethan’s eyes tracked Hadyn’s hand as it went to her hair, then back to her neck. The feelings of lust began to tingle in the back of his mind as he watched her. For a moment, Ethan thought back to that night that they shared. Flesh, sweat, feeling of inner animal, it all gave Ethan a nice thought as he looked at the glowing Hadyn. Her trim waist as expanding and her thighs and hips were also, but the way she looked Ethan felt like attracted and slightly lustful, perhaps he was kidding himself, slightly was more like if she gave him the look he was likely to tear off her clothes. The mental image of Hadyn without clothes made him focus on her more enjoyable parts, so much so that Ethan missed the next thing that Hadyn would say. The look on his face was of open appreciation of the body that Hadyn had, and as his mind lost a little bit of focus… he could honestly say it was still on Hadyn.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman was too busy considering his comment to notice his appreciative gaze. This would be the exact moment she would tell him to be on his way because she had work to do. She'd thank him and tell him it was better she do what she had to so she didn't fall behind on work. But in truth there wasn't much to catch up. Just menial tasks to keep her hands busy. And while it was her default to be alone it felt strangely wrong to turn him away after the kindness he'd shown.

She considered then the recent shame and anger she'd experienced after her altercation with Orion. How he couldn't bother to talk or act like a petching adult long enough for them to have a real conversation. How he'd taken off after his temper tantrum, turning tail like a coward. Hadyn didn't know if that spelled the end to their relationship - whatever convoluted shape it'd taken. But she did know she would not be calling on him. For anything.

Resting an elbow on her knee she leaned forward, chewing on a thumbnail as she pondered what to do about Ethan. How he could stand to be around her was a mystery. Hadn't she driven away every man with any intention of affection or decency, most of the time on purpose? And yet here he was. Perhaps he felt a sense of loyalty to Brody to take care of his pitiful sister while she suffered her own mistakes. Or he liked a challenge. Hadyn couldn't determine his motive. But she spoke nonetheless.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she murmured to no one in particular, her words hushed as her curled hand rested against her chin. It was wholly unlike her to say something that could leave her vulnerable. "I've got this baby coming. An' I know next to nothin' about bein' a mother. Less how to relate to the baby's father. Petched that up nicely, we did. The child'll be lucky if his father will tolerate me in the same room. If Orion even decides to be a part of the kid's life."

Once she started talking there was no filter. But she didn't look at the man. It was easier to talk to the empty space before her than admit she was sharing something personal with another being. As it was she still felt burned from Orion's tepid reaction to her emotions. She petching hated expressing her feelings. But it seemed she had no control right now.

"Don't blame him for bein' unsure. I'd run if I were him. We're the same, Orion an' I. Can't be honest 'bout a thing if it involves emotions. We have to push the other way an' kick 'em while they're down before we ever admit to our feelin's."At that point she turned glassy eyes to stare at him. "The two worst people on this earth to have a child. Some god 'r goddess is probably laughin' their arses off at this pairin'."

She looked away again, pulling in a breath before speaking. Her hand dropped from her face, her gaze on the length of her forearm, the faint scars from mistakes in the forge conjuring memories.

"Bein' a mother is an awful lot of pressure. Shyke's all petched with Orion an' I. Don't know that we'll ever get it sorted. I just... I don't do well when I don't have control." She snorted at the thought and smiled, though it lacked mirth. "An' I'm entirely at the mercy of my body, which is so up an' down I can't tell which way I face sometimes. I doubt y'have any words of advice that'll make this seem better. But you're welcome to try your hand at it like everyone else."

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan watched her, for a moment and then he realized that she was talking. Once, again Hadyn was talking about how she didn’t know how to be a mother and petching Orion. Ethan wondered if Hadyn was just happy for herself, if for a few chimes a day Hadyn just relaxed and thought, I will have a son or daughter soon and I am happy. Orion… He’s unsure? But we’re connected? Hadyn, does that even make sense? If you can’t tell your partner how you feel, then it’s not a relationship, Hadyn… Ethan sometimes wanted to scream at her. “Hadyn, for a long time I have wanted to be a father. Yet, I have no idea if I would be good or not. No one has answers… I pray to Tyveth to give me the virtues I wish to give to my child. I pray to Cheva that I will find someone to love and start a family with. Cheva and Tyveth gave us teachings, ‘No, One person, can have enough love for two people.’ The priests and priestess I talked with said that Cheva meant that however much love you have for someone, if they don’t love you back then it can never be a relationship. You can’t be joined because love is meant to be shared. Hadyn, I don’t pretend to know either one of you very well, but if you can’t state the small things in your heart, then how can you state the big ones?” “Hadyn, what I do… I try to live up to the God’s and Goddess’ examples. When you told me that you were pregnant I prayed on the subject. I asked; what makes a family, what makes a father or a mother, what are their expectations as good parents? The only answer that I found came from within. A father isn’t someone who in one moment of passion made a child. A father is there to place cool rags on the child’s forehead when they are sick. A father is there to teach his child knowledge and virtue. A father protects their child enough from the world, so they can make their own mistakes but not be hurt by them. It’s a task that must be repeated and the title father must be earned each day. I can only imagine that a mother is the exact same thing.” “Cheva says that love isn’t defined by the roles we play but by the daily commitment to one another. Hadyn, if there is no way to work with Orion, and then there is no relationship as a father or as a partner…” Ethan paused, a part of him wanted to champion his own cause tell her that he was committed to her and loved. Yet, it wasn’t the time, and it may never be. “As far as a mother Hadyn, I would ask what do you want to give of yourself to your child? Once, you figure that out; what, when, and how are you going to teach those lessons, because they will need to be repeated daily. What are the things that you don’t want to pass on your child? Once, you face those fears and learn to sweep them away you will never pass them along.” Ethan looked at Hadyn and shrugged. “Those are the answers that I have, they aren’t good ones. Maybe if you pray you will find different ones.” Ethan wasn’t sure whether his advice was good or helpful, but he had said his piece.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Ethan's response was somewhat unexpected. The principles were the same as those suggested in the past but he took an entirely different route. Prayer. It wasn't an option Hadyn would've readily come to on her own. When he concluded the woman sat in silent consideration. He was correct, of course. The painfully similar natures of Orion and herself only served to push them away from each other. If neither had the stones to discuss and express their emotions then they were doomed to repeat the same interaction over and over. While that was tolerable in general with a child to raise it would be near impossible.

"Your answers are more thought out then most," she commented at length, turning to look at him. "With such impressive introspection I reckon you'll be a wonderful father."

Hadyn couldn't help but smile. These things seemed to have a way of happening to the wrong people, no doubt the result of Ionu's mischief. Ethan appeared to have thought long and hard on the subject of children and being a father. It would be he who ought to receive this blessing, not two people who were emotionally underdeveloped and unable to move forward because they were too busy chasing their own tails. With a sigh the woman leaned back, a hand on her abdomen as she stretched her bones and muscles. Shiress warned her it would only become more difficult as the days passed.

"I think... well perhaps I am wrong. But I have decided, with your help, I cannot worry myself with Orion any longer. It never ends well. He has made his thoughts clear on the matter," her expression darkened as she sat up straight again. "I don't quite know how to do this alone. My parents had each other. As did yours. Seems significantly more dauntin' to do all this without another person. I'm not afraid of being alone. I just want to do what's right for her."

Running a hand over her belly Hadyn remained pensive. She often switched between pronouns, testing out my daughter or my son. It was awkward at times, sitting heavily on her tongue. But it seemed appropriate. With a decisive nod the woman made to stand, pushing herself up and though somewhat precarious on her feet, managed to stay upright. She turned to face Ethan fully.

"I will continue to think on things you've told me, Ethan. I know I am... all over the place. I can't decide what I want or how to feel. I change my mind mid-sentence and change my feelings even quicker. It is exhausting." Hadyn smiled apologetically. "But perhaps practice for when you're to have a child with Miss Beaumont?"

The twinkle returned to Hadyn's brown eyes. It wasn't long before she was teasing and slipping back into her old persona. It took a little longer these days but she could never entirely lose that for it kept her afloat through even the most difficult of trials. Looking at Ethan then she knew he would make an excellent father. He would be the man her own father had been. The father Liam could've been. Crossing her arms loosely over her chest the woman tilted her head gently as she surveyed him, a small smile creeping across her lips.

"Y'know, that was quite the wisdom. Liam couldn't have said it better himself."

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan shrugged at the complement that Hadyn gave him. Ethan had always been a thinker, the only time he tended not to think was when he was with Brody or lots of drinking… but then again growing up with Brody the two were essentially the same thing. However, he wasn’t really sure that Hadyn was right. Knowing what was needed and having a plan was only one part of being a father, being dedicated to family and your children was the other. Most people tended to have one or the other. A plan was only good enough if you had the work to follow it up, while dedication was a good thing but without planning or thought you didn’t really go anywhere. The smile on Hadyn’s face helped Ethan feel as maybe some of his advice had brought her a measure of happiness and peace. As he watched Hadyn adjust herself in her seat and hold her belly, Ethan so wanted to touch it. He desperately wanted that contact with her stomach and to voice his own thought to the person growing inside of her. Yet, he never asked because Hadyn always was so uncomfortable with contact, and he could only imagine touching her belly where her child was growing was forbidden territory. Still the urge was there to do the things that would likely get him punched. Ethan smiled as Hadyn told him that she was done with Orion. Of course, saying the words and putting work into the actions were two different things. All he could do was allow Hadyn see him and for him to see her, maybe something more would develop, and he hoped it would, but he tried to remind himself that Hadyn wasn’t the easiest person to get anything out of. Ethan closed his eyes, as Hadyn said she wasn’t scared of being alone, Ethan knew if for the horse shyke. Hadyn was deathly afraid of being alone, she pushed so hard at people trying to be her friend because she want to be right when they left. Yet Ethan, would call her out on it, at least not yet. Ethan smirked at the thought of him marrying Miss Beaumont. The only way that was going to happen was if she was kidnapped and Ethan somehow rescued her and found a vast treasure trove. Kale Beaumont was a miser with his miza’s and Ethan could only imagine the price he would place on his daughter. Yet there was that barmaid at the Broken Casket that Ethan wouldn’t mind see the inside of her apartment. Ethan laughed at the thought of Liam. “Please Liam would have said somethin’ like…” Ethan crossed his arms and stared down at Hadyn. He tried to raise one eyebrow but only mildly exceed by raising it a little an then both eye brows up. Smiling briefly, Ethan then lowered his voice in imitation of Liam and how he seemed when Ethan was but a child. “Now Haddy, I hear y’are smeltin’ some new ore for the family. Got a belly full of Knight leavin’s, so I got one question? All the Skellig Iron in ya turn ta rust? Stop dis here grinding of your character! The Haddy I raise got three parts strength and fourth part smart, and then de God’s opened you up and poured in whole bunch of attitude. So ya and m’goin’ to this here squire and goin’ to say, ‘Petch you! Skellig’s goin’ to be the name on dis here child, and we forge this bundle into greatness!’ Then ya kick him in da jewels.” “Also, y’be y’own woman and make y’own choices, but don’t be talkin’ with that Ironhorse lad. He’s got more lead in his pants and y’don’t need to be meltin’ it in y’forge. ‘Sides saw him with dat girl, Big Kate, and she’s a jealous one.” Ethan smiled as he gave the Liam nod at the end of his talks, when it seemed like he wouldn’t take any other answer or comment then the proscribe results that he set.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman's smile grew as he spoke, imitating her eldest brother perfectly, particularly the manner in which he would discipline her. As he concluded she was laughing though it felt strange and foreign in her mouth. She'd forgotten just how close Ethan was with their family and what an impression Liam left on those around him.

"Aye," she nodded with a simpering grin. "Sounds 'xactly like somethin' out of his mouth, though he'd probably be doin' something while he talked. Never could chastise without keepin' his hands busy. Ioan once got an earfull for untyin' a Knights' horse and sendin' it trotting off while the gentleman was in the tavern. Ssena's wings, he scared the shyke right out of Ioan despite bein' in the middle of a geldin' at the stables. Somethin' about castratin' a horse that'll get your point 'cross, I suppose."

Hadyn smiled at the memory, the way her brother's dark eyes would flash when he was particularly angry or disappointed. But there was no trespass so great that the reproach didn't end without a smile or some measure of teasing. There were few things in this world the Skellig siblings couldn't joke or tease about. Looking down at her hand resting on her abdomen Hadyn's smile faltered a bit.

"Taken too soon, he was," she murmured. Unbidden tears welled up behind her eyes, pricking and entreating her to let them fall. Under any other circumstance the woman would simply ignore them. Tears did nothing and they certainly didn't make her feel better. Liam would never wish to see her wallow in sorrow and self-pity, especially for his loss. But it seemed tonight she had absolutely no control over herself. The tears fell readily, ushering the rest of her body into half apparent sobs. The petch was she crying for? She didn't know.

Standing she covered her eyes with the crook of her arm, turning from Ethan. Mortifying. Absolutely humiliating. Even as the occasionally strangled breath rattled her lungs the brunette was furious with her inability to handle her emotions. Was she weeping for Liam? for the baby? for anything in particular?

"I... can't... stop..." she rasped between wavering breaths, sitting down again and pressing the back of her hand against her lips to calm her breathing. Her cheeks were wet, lines and rivers of salty tears etched from the dust and soot on her skin. Her inhalations were punctuated by groans of half-actualized sobs as the tears kept coming.

"Petch," she breathed into her hand as she squeezed her eyes shut. When she did she saw Liam's face which triggered another set of tears. There was no getting around it. She was a gods damned mess.

[Ethan Ironhorse]

The smile that grew on Hadyn’s lips made Ethan realized that he had hit the mark with her. Liam had always presented the face of a man in total control, and when Hadyn told him about his gambling problem Ethan truly had been shocked. At the end imitation, Ethan laughed with Hadyn as well. As Hadyn provided her critique of his impression, he had to agree Liam had always seemed to be gesturing or hitting his hand with his fist. The man kept his hands as busy as he could, perhaps to keep from strangling the person that had the focus of his ire. Ethan smiled as Hadyn talked about the time Ioan had let loose the knight’s horse. Since becoming a farrier, he had on occansion performed castration for the farmers as well. Some people believed in taking that horse jewels and throwing them out in front of the horse afterwards. The old saying was that once a horse saw what you did, his spirit was broken. Ethan, however, didn’t have the heart to do such a thing, and gave the choice to the farmer since he would be dealing with the animal often. Still Ethan, could understand the impact of Liam delivering a message like that. When Hadyn spoke softly about Liam being taken too soon, Ethan knew that he was in for tears. Ethan walked over to Hadyn as she stood and rubbed her back softly. This was the closest he could get without making her want to scream. Hadyn had a lot of strong feelings about how close one got and embracing. This was just a smooth motion of his hand softly rubbing and adding reassurance. Ethan knew that Hadyn, would hate the fact of the touching, but in a way she needed the contact as well. So Ethan just softly rubbed and made reaffirming noises. “I miss him too. I miss the advice, the laugh, even his funny sayin’s that made as much sense as tryin’ ta forging lead into a sword.” Ethan made a soft laugh, but grew serious, “Everyday, when I wake up or go out to practice fightin’, I realize how much I miss him. Some days, I even hear his self-righteous voice tellin’ m’ to do somethin’ or makin’ a joke at my own mistakes. However, I know that he’s not truly dead Hadyn, his memory lives in us and each day we choose to honor his impact on us by the actions we choose. Everyday, I try to be the best I can, ta show the world that what I forge or do is the best of my ability. Sometimes, I accomplish that task, other times I don’t, but as Liam said, ‘You don’t know if the metal will keep the shape, till you hammer it out.’” Ethan was quiet for a moment, and then he asked a question that he promised himself that he wouldn’t. “Hadyn, I know you have a tough time lettin’ m’embrace ya. I know its not because I am some creep, we are… friends, but… I hadn’t even touched y’belly or talked to the child.” Ethan had said the unspeakable, at least in his mind, to Hadyn. He wanted badly to speak to the child or feel the baby kick, but he had been waiting for Hadyn to offer. Ethan had felt particularly needy at that moment, and smoothing Hadyn made him really want to do the one thing that Hadyn hadn’t offered. Still, now he wondered if she said yes would she do it out of guilt or because she wanted him to.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman recovered herself enough to sit in awkward silence as Ethan spoke. She chose to ignore the hand on her back - it was a natural response to one who is weeping though she supremely regretted being in that state to begin with. Instead she sat staring at the wood, letting his words linger in the air. Truthfully she was trying catch up to him. The obnoxious fit of vapors captured her attention solely for the reason of breathing normally. Once she's regained regular breaths unhindered by sobs or tears she replayed Ethan's voice in her mind in order to answer. Touch her belly? Turning slowly to face him dark brows rose with uncertainty.

"I don't know why you'd want to," she answer, voice strained from the rawness of sobbing. Wiping the back of her hand across her eyes the brunette took another slow breath. "That is, the baby don't talk back."

It perplexed her why folk wanted to touch her abdomen. Did they expect the child to react? Or perhaps she was the ignorant one and that's what one should do during pregnancy. Admittedly it was so far from Hadyn's sphere of knowledge either answer could be correct. And with the way Ethan and others were so focused on addressing the baby growing within her the brown eyed woman suspected it was the socially acceptable thing to do.

"Sorry," she mumbled with a frown. "I'm at odds with all this. I'm probably t'worst woman to end up with a baby."

Hadyn smiled ruefully, indicating she wasn't entirely serious. Despite her discomfort over invaded personal space it felt odd to tell him he couldn't speak to the child. Glancing at him she leaned back slightly with one hand braced against the back of the bench. Her abdomen was on display for him and she was giving him access if he wished to touch or address it.

"Don't know how one goes about speakin' to an unborn. But if that's what y'want to do..."

[Ethan Ironhorse]

It pained Ethan to hear Hadyn say the things that she did. Didn’t she talk to her unborn child? Ethan almost doubted the connection of Hadyn to her baby. To him, it was a miracle, a life that was developing in her. To be connected to that life every day; to never feel alone knowing that a person within would always love you. Ethan softly placed his hand on her top of her belly and warmth began to grow in his right arm, softly he stroked the belly, and his vision narrowed to look solely at Hadyn’s belly. To Ethan it was a form of magic, though the magic was as natural as water flowing down a river into the sea, yet Ethan’s mind began forming a connection with the child inside of Hadyn. Sometimes instinct and desire were often stronger and more powerful than any magic that Ethan had experienced. Ethan only felt the warmth in his arm spreading to his heart as he softly stroked Hadyns abdomen. To Ethan, when he spoke his instinct told him that there was no one else but him and the unborn child. His face melted from all the tension and stress that training in the Pit had caused, like a warm blanket on a winter’s night, Ethan knew why he was training, to protect the innocent, even if he was one of them. Ethan voice changed pitch as he spoke, a softness and deep love came out for the unborn child, for life. “’Ello, little one, I am Ethan Ironhorse. I am a friend of y’mother’s, and want to tell you somethin’. I want you to know that y’will always be loved. As y’grow, know that y’mother is a strong woman and that she will love you every day. You will have her strength, her beauty, and her grace with a hammer. With those gifts you will be someone great but kind, you will grow into someone special and as you grow I will be there when you need me. Know that I share my hopes and dreams with you, that as a child y’innocence will be protected until you choose shed its mantle. Life can be harsh, but with love from people that harshness disappears. I speak of that first time when you laugh; when you feel the crispness of the air after a rain; the first time you kiss the person you love. All that is ahead of you, experiences that make life more precious than any gold. If you want m’there, I will be there to help you, but some of those experiences you must do so by yourself. Know that the love of the people you surround yourself with, will always cheer you on.” Ethan laughed as he looked at the Hadyn’s abdomen, “And there will be mistakes; glorious, funny, embarrassin’ mistakes. Yet that is life, little one, working the metal tells you somethin’ of life. It teaches ya that no matter the strongest of material, there is a way to shape it. It’s the will and vision of the smith that takes the metal from a hunk of steel to hammer, plow, or blade. Know that I will work every time we meet to impart that vision onto you. For in y’hands lie the tools to change your own life, they are not possessed by anyone else, and though you will make mistakes, love will see you through them.” Ethan almost felt as if his words vibrated down his right arm to the child. Instincts often defied reason, so Ethan gave the best advice he could to the child. “When you are born, know my voice, know that I will be there for you and that love surrounds you. Take care of your mother, she will need you.” Ethan slowly removed his hand from Hadyn’s belly, and like a spell breaking Ethan became aware of his surroundings. He felt dampness on his cheeks, he didn’t remember crying, for he had been so overwhelmed by the feeling of warmth and love he wouldn’t have noticed such a thing. To Ethan it had been like talking to the Gods and Godessess, yet that tiny life had shared their own feelings and love. Ethan looked back at Hadyn, and in a soft voice he spoke, “Thank you.”