Completed [Sultros Blades] Steeling {Ethan}

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn listened in silence as Ethan spoke to the unborn child. It was... strange. To hear someone else address the baby made the woman feel both uncomfortable and relieved. She did occasionally talk to it though it was rarely in the presence of others. Most times she wasn't even aware she was doing it, casual statements slipping out as though there were a person standing next to her. At first she felt a little crazy but she'd become so accustomed to being the only one to speak to the child that hearing Ethan's words caused mixed feelings.

He certainly sounded a lot more loving and affectionate than she did. While she spoke to the baby it was more to comment on the happenings of the moment or alert it of something it was unable to see. Perhaps she ought to be speaking more like Ethan. Cooing and reassuring it of things beyond her body. A small smile set itself on her lips as he pulled away, as if breaking from a trance, canting her head when he thanked her.

"Ethan, y'got more love in you than I'd know what to do with," she commented lightly, though there was an undertone of regret. Why couldn't she be like him? It became more apparent that he and Shiress were better suited parents than Hadyn and Orion. Yet they were graced with this challenge. Dark brows knitted with internal struggle as she placed a hand on her growing bump. She wanted to do this right. But she had no clue how to go about raising a child.

"Y'really think I can do this?" the brunette murmured, her gaze far beyond the wall she seemingly stared at. She hadn't meant to voice this question but it came unbidden, the smile faltering for a moment. "I'm not complainin'," she added after a tick. "I just... I want to do what's best for the child. But I don't know what that is."

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan wondered what Hadyn meant when she said that he had more love in him than what she would know what to do with. Cheva teachings stated that love can be infinite, it was only the person that put boundaries around it. Hadyn had certainly tested the waters of his love of family, if not for her as well, everyday seemed to be a different challenge with her. Still Ethan hung around unsure of their relationship, but so wanting to be a part of her family again. Ethan was terrified about the baby and all the responsibility of just being a surrogate uncle for the lad or lass, and at times Ethan wanted more… being a father would be the hardest thing he could think of, but it might be the greatest reward. Still there were times when a desperate thought would cross his mind, and he knew that there was no form of commitment between them and that he was able to try his luck and skill with other women. Ethan watched Hadyn place her hand on the bump and he wondered if he wasn’t deluding himself. Hadyn had never really committed or consented to Ethan being part of her growing family. She had told him numerous times that she needed him for help, but never really ever gave any definition of what that help meant. Hadyn comment began to sink in as she continued to talk. His own words came back to him, No, One person, can have enough love for two, was he trying to force something on Hadyn? “Aye, Haddie, I do. I believe that a father and mother decides on the best things for their child and try to teach them that everyday. I think my own father tried to teach me in his own way, but I was a different child then my brother, so the lessons needed to be different… I guess the answer for whats best for the child, is what do you want your child to grow up to be? And only you can answer that.” Ethan got up from the seat. He felt a little odd, perhaps cooled for a moment, Hadyn’s comment about not knowing what to do with Ethan’s love made him feel… sad. Ethan went over to his sword and belted it back on. “I just realized how late it is, and all I wanted to do was drop off a cradle for ya. Would you like some help carryin' it?” Ethan wanted some time to sort out his feelings over Hadyn’s comment. He knew that she was never very good speaking about her feelings, and she probably didn’t mean the comment in the way she said it, but Ethan didn’t want to talk about it while he felt this way.

[Hadyn Skellig]

"You're too good t'me, Ethan" the woman replied with an affectionate smile, standing as well. The bell was late and she was starting to fatigue. Going home didn't sound like a terrible idea. Moving to her station the woman quickly and efficiently tidied her space - Eanos was not overly fond of undue messes. Once it was in order she turned to face her friend with a slight smile.

"Thank you," she stated with a glance at the cradle. Fetching her jacket, closing the hatch for the furnace and snuffing out the two candles she walked toward the exit, waiting by the door for Ethan. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

Hadyn paused, waiting for him to leave first so she could lock the smithy. Under any other circumstance she'd be so uncomfortable with a gift she'd send him on his way and lug it home herself. But she was somewhat at odds with her emotions and hauling a wooden crib back to her apartment was probably one of the more imprudent uses of her waning strength. Tucking a strand behind her ear the weaponsmith grinned at her friend.

"Don't s'ppose y'seen the inside of my home yet. T'was Ioan's til he shoved off."

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan went about and made sure everything was clean and in place before he picked up the crib. With one final glace about the forge, Ethan felt like he was somehow missing the experience of the hammer and anvil. The truth of it was that Ethan rarely went to the Ironworks as he trained to head to Zeltiva. Ethan wondered about all the training he was doing and what was his purpose behind it. On the one hand the wilderness was vast and Ethan knew that he would need skills to survive it, but Hadyn was here… or at least what she represented. A wife, a home, a child, weren’t those the very things he prayed to Cheva for? Didn’t he want a family? Didn’t he want to wake up every morning with someone in his arms? Yet, was Hadyn that person? Ethan was pretty sure that if Hadyn ever did come together that… he didn’t know, it was like asking what Ethan would do if he had enough money and power to start a colony for Syliras. Hadyn, wanted Ethan to talk to as a friend and help, but she didn’t see that as anything more than friendship. Right or wrong, Ethan was a man that would be on the sidelines and though he thought he would love her and her family, he didn’t know if he could wait for her to determine if she even knew how to love him. Just like he could wait for Ros to tell him that he was a master of the forge, instead he choose to go out and find recipes or techniques that had been lost. Ethan picked up the crib and smiled at Hadyn, it was a soft smile that showed kindness and friendship. Ethan couldn’t quite manage his usual leer or full smile of happiness, his thoughts just weren’t running along the lines of happiness. As he waited for Hadyn to lock up the forge, he held the cradle over his shoulder and looked down at her smaller frame. Her belly was slightly growing and Ethan could look at the swell of her hips starting to become pronounce. Ethan wondered at the cruel fate of the Gods and Goddesses that made Hadyn pregnant not more than thirty days prior to them meeting. Why hadn’t Orion offered to marry Hadyn and secure her to him? Why wasn’t he here with a crib and looking into those blue eyes of hers? “Haddie, if I know a thing 'bout men is that, you would having falling over each other helping ya. Yet, its nice to know that I am at the top of the list.” Ethan smiled that soft smile again and tried to give Hadyn a leering look, “Well, if memory serves I was trying to get into your apartment for quite some time, and then all this happened.” Ethan thought about all of it and for some reason, his comment felt like he was asking for payment for the crib. A look of deep introspection and a little sadness came to his face. “Tell you what. How 'bout I help you put the crib where you want it, you show me around for a little bit, and then I take off, had a long day myself.”

[Hadyn Skellig]

It was a complicated thing - whatever it was that resided between them. He knew it. She knew it. But neither were willing to come right out and address it. Probably for the better. Hadyn had a lead tongue and Ethan was too well intentioned to cast a pall on the evening. Securing the door to the smithy the woman fell in step beside him, resisting the urge to feel excessively uncomfortable that he was doing this for her.

Men never did anything for Hadyn. Mostly because she wouldn't allow it. It wasn't right. And Orion was an excellent example. The further away he tread from her the more she convinced herself it was the only way to make their relationship bearable for either of them. She didn't need him and he didn't want her. So it was a moot point.

Glancing at the blacksmith the brunette smiled warmly. Brody would be pleased, though he might as easily deck Ethan for bedding her. But her brother was ever so fond of the man and would be quick to throw his arm around Ironhorse and tell him what a good lad he was. Hadyn felt a momentary surge of regret. Was she leading Ethan on?

Under any other circumstance the woman was entirely frank about the nature of relationship with a man. But dammit all this was frustratingly complicated. He was Brody's best mate. They'd slept together and then the whole thing caved in with the pregnancy. A fine mess.

"Tch, keepin' you out late again am I?" she drawled with a simpering grin. It was so easy to slip back into that person she was before this all occurred. The sly tongue and sardonic manner. She could very well take after Orion and laugh at everything. But it only took a chime for her to extend a hand, placing it gently on Ethan's bicep as they walked, her tone softened. "Thank you 'gain for this."

She remained unclear about what this was. Helping her bring the crib home. Commissioning the crib to begin with. Being there for her. As they walked Hadyn decided she would be completely honest with him when they arrived at her apartment. She would explain how up and down she was. How she wasn't intending to use him in any way. How she just wished to figure it all out before the baby was born.

Dropping her hand from his arm they continued. Between Ethan and Shiress the brunette was never left wanting generous friends. But in their grace she was lacking. And she had no idea how to make it up to them. Or if she could. Ethan especially. Perhaps she ought to just find a man who would take care of her and the baby. Was that not the definition of family? If Orion couldn't - or wouldn't - do it was Hadyn denying some measure of family to her child by shunning men? A concerned expression crossed her visage as they continued.

[Ethan Ironhorse]

“Tis nuthin but a bit of coin and thought.” Ethan said to Hadyn as she thanked him again. Ethan hadn’t really given the gift any meaning beyond doing something for Hadyn and the baby. To him, it was just something for the both of them, something needed to help Hadyn with her newest addition. Granted, Ethan had the unrealistic expectation that the gift would somehow show her that Ethan was meant to be the man for her, and they would finally be together. Yet Ethan logically knew that expectation was as crazy as if Hadyn somehow figured out how to voice her feelings. Ethan chewed on his thoughts, it seemed his heart wanted one thing and his mind tried to keep him from going insane. Ethan had always know his heart wanted to look across a room and somehow know that person was the one he would spend his life with. Yet, that hadn’t happened since he was fifteen and in reality Hadyn had given him that thought once or twice. Yet, Ethan had been in a few relationships with women, and an attendant from the Soothing Waters had been the closest Ethan had come to a committed relationship. The problem was that she wanted to be with a knight, and though Ethan generally thought Susan had cared for him. She had decided to try and hook a knight with her bait while having fun with him. So Ethan kept holding on to this idea of perfect love, even though all his experience showed him that love wasn’t perfect but simply helped smooth the imperfections of each other. Ethan knew that he was putting way to much expectations on Hadyn. She wasn’t the little girl slowly getting curves of a woman anymore. Life and ugliness had changed Hadyn, and Ethan was just getting to know Hadyn after so long being away from her family. The simple fact was that if Ethan had met her in a tavern he would have enjoyed the night they spent together and would have tried to have another, yet their history and her pregnancy had somehow made it a tangled mess of emotions. Ethan felt Hadyn’s hand on his bicep and though a smile did creep to his face, he almost wished it didn’t bring him a warmth to his being from her simple touch. He wished to Cheva that he could somehow not want to hold Hadyn in his arms and softly kiss her pain away. That Hadyn's touch didn’t rouse desire and missed opportunities of youth in him. Yet, they did and it was wonderful and so unfair, because he knew that Hadyn never wanted to be touched by any male. She had told him the reason tonight why, but it still hurt to feel this way and know that she didn’t feel the same because of what someone else had done. When Hadyn took her hand away Ethan was both happy and sad at the same time. He knew that he needed to gain some kind of handle on this thing, otherwise this torture would never end. “So Ioan’s old place?” Ethan really didn’t know why he had asked the question, it was stupid and dealt with nothing he was feeling. The only purpose it had was to break the silence that they walked in.

[Hadyn Skellig]

"Aye," the woman nodded as they walked, relieved to be a safer topic. "Got married. Some sailor lass. They're livin' in Ravok, last I heard. Honestly I expected him to end up in Zeltiva, teachin' art or science. Y'know he always had a head for academics."

Indeed the middle Skellig boy was always quiet and studious. Reserved in a way that suggested he had better things to do with his brilliant mind than suffer the company of lesser intellects. He was often the butt of Brody's endless jokes, teased for his bookish ways and sullen visage he adopted when forced to interact with his younger brother. But he was an excellent teacher, always available to answer Hadyn's questions or enlighten her with some fascinating tidbit of information.

They were nearly to her apartment, the walk seeming exceptionally short with someone else at her side. It felt good to talk about her family with someone familiar. Perhaps she'd been too rash in shutting Ethan out. Perhaps he was exactly what she needed. A connection to her past with a light toward the future. With a sly glance toward the man Hadyn grinned.

"Weren't you Brody's accomplice that time he replaced all Ioan's insect specimens with rocks an' dirt?" the woman paused to let him recall the event, her smile warming at the memory, shaking her head pensively. "Gods, he was angrier than a balicani!"

Hadyn finally halted before a nondescript door, fumbling for the keys as Ethan answered. While he spoke she managed to get the door open on its rusty hinges, nodding that he might enter the dark chamber first while she held the door.

"Candle's just to your right," she commented as she waited.

Once illuminated the cramped room would display nearly everything Hadyn Skellig had in this world. A bed, table, chairs, hearth, chest. Nothing particularly decorative aside from a few scraps of parchment hanging above the table. Upon them were delicately sketched portraits, each one belonging to a member of the Skellig family. Ioan's art. There was an image of her parents, crudely made as if by a child's hand, their features somewhat indiscernible. Beside them was a portrait of Liam, his teenaged face bearing hints of the man he matured into - somber and wise. Beside it was Brody, the side of his lips upturned in a smirk he could never really hide. He hated sitting for Ioan's sketches. There was a movement about his image, as if he might literally jump off the page and run out the door.

Then came the self portrait, Ioan's hand creating a rough sketch of a boy uncertain of his place but decidedly assured in his talents. There was no smile upon his face but like Liam there was a warmth in his eyes. And finally was an image of Hadyn, caught looking over her shoulder at her brother, still a girl of perhaps nine or ten. Although Ioan had created many sketches of his sister Hadyn favored this one among the others. She moved into the small apartment after Ethan, closing the door behind her.

[Ethan Ironhorse]

Ethan laughed at the odd prank that Hadyn remembered. “Aye, however it was abit more than dirt and rocks. We had thread and bit of paint as well, took Brody and me a day to set up. I remember addin' the water to the dirt to make mud and shapin' it to for the bodies, Brody spent the better part of the day lookin' for rocks that had the same shape as the bigger and brightly color bugs. We snuck in the several days before to take out the bugs and replace them. Ioan found out because the mud cracked and broke after a couple of days dryin'. In the end he did get back most of the bugs, we used a couple to scare the washwomen down in the Soothin' Waters and m'mum. I remember all the screamin' and hollerin'.” Ethan laughed, Brody seemed to be a safe topic for them to talk about. Yet Ethan didn’t want to build their relationship on old family members. Hadyn just never seemed to want to talk about forge or small things in her life. Ethan had always thought of himself having a quiet life to set into, a marriage filled with laughter of small things and little drama. Yet Hadyn, was about the complete opposite of what his vision was. Sure they had laughed about family, and on occasion talked about the forge. Yet Ethan didn’t know what it meant to her until recently; Hadyn was changing in her pregnancy becoming a little freer with emotions and a little more… desperate for something or someone. Ethan laughed at Hadyn as she told him candles were to the right. Walking into the darken apartment, Ethan slowly maneuvered to his right using his free hand. At the touch of a table Ethan placed the crib down and felt around till he grabbed a candle. His vision was slowly becoming accustom to the light from the doorway and hearth. Ethan moved slowly into the apartment with a candle in his hand. There were a few times that he bumped his side into a table or chair, but generally found his way to the hearth. He lit the candle off of one of the coals in the fire, still smoldering from the fuel that Hadyn had placed in the hearth that morning. As the candle’s wick flared to life, gentle light began to glow from it and bathed the room. Ethan placed the candle on the ground a little ways from the hearth. Picking up some of the firewood, Ethan placed some of the smaller branches into the hearth to get it going again. Living in a castle had its benefits of being secure, but it was always cold. Ethan waited till he saw a small flame began to feed itself on a spilt in a branch and then picked up the candle from the floor. Ethan looked around the room, and saw Ioan’s lovely sketches. Yet, he was surprised to see no wall hangings. Most women that Ethan had went to bed with in their apartments had wall hangings of embroidery or a general pattern in a tapestry to liven up the place. Ethan on the other hand hadn’t gotten around to it for his own apartment. It was one of his next major purchases, but seemed a frivolous one since he didn’t spend much time in his room. In addition, Ethan always knew that when he got married and started a family that he would ask for better apartments then what he was living in. That too cost additional funds to move up or to help suggest the family next to one’s own to move out and have the masons open up and install doors between the two. Ethan went over to the portraits and looked at Hadyn’s. He remembered the girl in the sketch, the smile and quiet reserve. The trouble he got into from pulling her hair, at the time Ethan had just started becoming interested in girls. Well at least not thinking about them as something gross, still like a child, Ethan had preferred running around with Brody then speaking with Hadyn. Ethan took his eyes away from the sketch and looked at the room again, wondering besides the chest where was Hadyn going to keep clothes for the baby or toys. Ethan began to realize that Hadyn must of lived and worked at the forge thinking this was only a place to sleep not to live. “Haddie,” Ethan started, “Have y'talked to the Housin' Authority to see about getti'g a new place? Or talked to y'neighbors to see if you can’t expand into their apartments? Mason’s could open up one of the walls and make it two bedrooms. It would free up this room to have a kitchen and a general sittin' area.” As Ethan talked, he went over to the crib and picked up it up, waiting for Hadyn to tell him where to put it, as well as, her plans for the future.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman joined him in the small apartment, securing the door behind them as Ethan set to illuminating the space. Moving to the bed she sat down for a moment, a release of air slipped between her lips as the pressure on her feet relaxed. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she looked up at Ethan, the warm light casting his handsome face in a golden glow. The smile his story elicited lingered still on her lips.

"I've thought on it," she agreed with a tilt of her head. "This hole is barely large enough for me now. I imagine by the end of t'all I'll be wedged 'tween two walls."

Hadyn grinned, running a hand over her belly. While the pregnancy had initially been slow to advance the child was now growing rapidly, as if to make up for lost time. She found herself bumping into things daily, unaccustomed to a wider frame. Ethan was right. She couldn't continue in this tiny space. She'd have to make time to get a larger place. After a tick she realized he was holding the crib again with an expectant expression.

"Oh... em," glancing around the small apartment Hadyn stood, a hand on her lower back. Brow furrowed she moved to the foot of the bed, moving a few small boxes to the table. Returning to the bed she leaned over and gave the narrow trunk a good shove, pushing it a few feet away from the bed frame. The space afforded was almost enough to contain the crib, though the edge would stick out a few inches. Standing and brushing her hands the brunette nodded to Ethan.

"Thank you." Moving then to the cupboard on the opposite wall Hadyn reached for a glass, casting a glance over her shoulder at him. "Got a sip whiskey. Not much but I haven't the stomach for it 'ny more. You're welcome to it." Closing the cabinet door she set the empty glass on the table near the stack of books before reaching under the table for the bottle of booze. It held perhaps a third of the amber liquid. Setting it beside the glass her brown eyes surveyed him.

"Y'probably need a shot or two t'manage me these days," she added with a wink, a good natured smile playing on her lips. She couldn't quite figure him out yet but she knew she was indebted to him. "We're fortunate t'have someone like you in our lives."

Again she placed a hand on her belly, voice dropping with the heaviness of the statement. Hadyn didn't know what Ethan wanted. She didn't have the skill in discernment to understand his intentions and even if she had, she was so bemused by her own emotions that she might easily misread him. Though she couldn't yet put it to words she felt an affinity for him. But of course, with all things of that nature, she was puzzled and more apt to push him away than entertain the notion that their feelings could be mutual. Biting her lower lip with internal dialogue Hadyn concluded she would lower her guard for now.

[Ethan Ironhorse]

The lightly colored stained wood crib was softly placed down on the ground. Ethan adjusted it slightly so that the bow feet could allow the crib to rock back and forth. It seemed like such a small thing the crib, yet it impacted several people’s lives. Ethan supposed that the crib represented more, a person’s first place to rest, and as he looked around Hadyn small apartment, he began to feel… disappointed. Hadyn needed more help, she needed someone to almost be here daily, preparing this place and getting everything ready for the child. Yet, Ethan was not her man, he was not committed to her in anyway besides friendship. Where were they going to place cups or dishes? What about toys, Hadyn wasn’t a messy girl, but children tended to leave their mess. Of course, Ethan’s mother and father quickly taught his brother and himself to pick up clothes and toys. Yet he came back to the same thing, I am not her man therefore all these things you are thinking of doesn’t matter. Ethan wasn’t really in the mood for drink. He had the feeling that she was offering the drink so that she could say something more, and in truth Ethan didn’t want to hear about her relationship with Orion. Ethan would rather just go home and spend the night staring at his ceiling trying to convince himself that he was just Hadyn’s friend. After all, if he could convince himself that he was her friend, he wouldn’t have to feel how much her words about them being fortunate meant to him. He wouldn’t have to care about how much of a mess she was and how he wanted to put her back together. It was a foolish dream, Hadyn was in charge or her own happiness and her own broken being. She made her choices and had to live with them. Yet his heart wanted to protect her, wanted to help heal her, and because of that Ethan wondered if he stayed around would he like her after she was fixed? Cheva’s teachings spoke about being in a love with the person, not what you can do for them. Love between two people was about sharing themselves to form a team. Sometimes, one member wasn’t as strong as the other, but both contributed to the success of the team. Could Ethan allow Hadyn to fix herself, while he care for himself and her child? “I take a finger’s worth Haddie, got t’get up early and practice.” Ethan patted his sword, and smiled. It was a polite way to all Hadyn to return the gift with a bit of booze, and for Ethan to try and get out of here before he said or demanded something from Hadyn that she wasn’t ready to give. “So, goin’ to hire some help for the child? I assume that y’need to keep workin’, and tryin’ to care, feed, bathe, and play for a yungin’ can be tough.” Ethan headed towards the table with the glass on it. It felt dangerous to be so close to Hadyn, and as he got closer her smell of sweat and iron filled his nostrils. To most it would have a sharp odor that left a metallic tang in their mouth. To Ethan that had worked the forge and often had to deal with such things, it smelled like home, because under that scent Hadyn had a soft cool sweetness that reminded him of flowers. Yes, Ethan thought, this is dangerous… drink our drink and leave, you did what a friend would do and that was enough.