Completed Heal the Wounds (Azira)

[Syveris]

85th of Fall, 513 AV

She still couldn't believe it.

Her legs were taking her to the Infirmary, but her mind was lost in thought, and, this time, Syveris couldn't shut them out. No matter how much she tried, they kept coming back, crawling their way back, making she think about them. The Avora hadn't know the events of the storm had shaken her that much, as she had tried to forget, at least not to think about them, but she was incapable of doing so.

When she entered the Infirmary, she was vaguely aware of someone asking her if she needed help, but Syveris didn't want to answer right now, so she just made her way to the corner of the room, and sat there. The cuts she had got during the beginning of the storm from the shattered glass still hadn't healed, but they didn't hurt anymore, and they weren't bad enough that she would need medical assistance. In fact, she would not even be on the place if Virat hadn't sent her there. And he wouldn't have sent her there if she hadn't been so careless.

Syveris bit her lip, putting her arms around her legs. How could she have been so careless? She had actually dropped the piece she was making, because she couldn't focus. She had dropped it! Of course, she had made many mistakes and still made them, as the Avora was still an apprentice. But she had never broken her work since the first year of her apprenticeship. She had been extra careful not to drop them, as that was a mistake only a novice made.

She was sure that, if she told this to anyone, they would look at her as if she had gone crazy. After all, it was a stupid think to be sad about. Mistakes happened.

Only, they didn't. At least, not that kind of mistake. One thing was for someone to drop the piece because they still didn't know how to work properly with the tools. Another, entirely different, was for someone to drop the piece because they weren't focused enough. Carelessness could cause a serious accident in the Reverie, which was why everyone that entered the place was instructed about the safety procedures. And one of them was 'pay attention to what you're doing'.

And that was exactly why Virat had sent her away. She wasn't paying attention. She wasn't being able to. So he had told her to go and cool her head on the Infirmary, and be ready for the work next day. Syveris retracted even more against the wall, suddenly cold. She needed to calm down. She needed to shove the thoughts away, so she could focus again. The Avora simply had to. And she would do it, one way or another.

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[Azira]

   

The pounding in her head was relentless. It would just start and then it would seem endless. It felt as if she would die before that pain ceased. It had been like that ever since she'd hit her head in the storm. She'd seemed fine except for the blood and the obvious cut on her head but then it had hit her, wham! Her head hadn't been quite right since and so the doctors wanted to keep a close eye on her as if one of the headaches or the dizzy spells would kill her or something.

The huntress had been given something for the pain an age ago but yet the relief was a long time coming. When the splitting headache began to abate a bit, Azira felt like crying she was so happy. Even a small bit of relief from the agony was something that she was extremely grateful for. The doctors and healers in the Infirmary had given her no more than worried glances in the last while but they seemed glad as well that the worst of the pain seemed to be behind her.

With the pain reduced, Azira was considerably less self absorbed and so she was able to look around her to see what was going on to find someone who would let her leave. Her eyes widened when they fell upon Syveris and she couldn't help but wonder what the woman was doing. Sitting on the floor of the Infirmary with your arms round your legs was not a healthy sign.

Getting up from her seat, the Avora approached her and crouched beside her, her head making the world spin sickeningly in retaliation for such an action.

"Syveris? Are you all right? What are you doing here?" she asked softly, trying to get a good look at the girl to see if she was unwell. If she was just sitting there then surely she couldn't be sick yet at the same time, if she wasn't sick then why would she be there?

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[Syveris]

The Avora was still musing over her thoughts when a voice called her. Maybe she could shut it down, just ignore it. But then, someone had called her by her name, and the voice was vaguely familiar, as if she should remember who it was. And once she did, Syveris was sure that she would regret ignoring her. The glassworker raised her head, and saw Azira looking at her, a worried look on her face.

She just stared for a few moments, wondering why the woman was still in the Infirmary. Had the injury on her head been really bad? Suddenly, the Avora realized the other had asked her a question. What was it again? If she was alright? Well, she was alright, wasn't she? There was nothing wrong with her, she hadn't hit her head, and wasn't terrible injuried. And the cuts didn't even hurt anymore. So, she was fine. The Avora only worried about the fact that she couldn't concentrate in nothing, but that was her own fault, and it had nothing to do with Azira. It wasn't the huntress problem, and she wouldn't start complaining about her worries.

"I'm... I'm fine, I think." Syveris answered, trying to smile at the huntress. She wasn't sure she had succeeded. "There is nothing wrong, see? Don't worry about me." the Avora tried to think about the other half of the question, but she couldn't bring herself to answer. What would she say, anyway? 'I am here because I can't do my job right now' was the truth, but it wouldn't come out, even if she wanted to say it. Which she didn't.

"You hit your head, right?" she tried to focus the talk on the other. Syveris didn't really want to talk about what had happened. She felt stupid enough for thinking about it so much. "Are you alright now?" maybe a casual talk could take her mind off her annoying problems, and then everything could be alright. At least, she hoped so.

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[Azira]

   

There didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with Syveris but there was something terribly wrong with her. The girl who was always so enthusiastic, so full of life, looked back at her with dead eyes, her movements lethargic. The contrast with her normal demeanour was shocking and she was actually frightened by what her friend had become.

The glassworker claimed to be fine but her eyes said otherwise. A twitch at the corner of the girl's mouth suggested that she was trying to smile but she was clearly failing. Something was affecting her deeply but the huntress didn't know what. She wasn't likely to find out the reason either because her fellow Avora turned to subject to Azira's health.

Her voice sounded so lifeless, so uncaring that Azira almost didn't answer. "I hit it, yeah. I'm okay I suppose though I keep getting headaches. I'll be all right in awhile apparently. You didn't answer by question though. Why are you here, Sy?" she said, rubbing her temples almost out of habit as her headache flared up again.

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[Syveris]

Of course she hadn't answer the question. She didn't want to. The Avora wanted to focus on other things, take her mind far away from the subject, but Azira wouldn't let her. Why wouldn't she let her? Did she really cared, or was it only because Syveris had cared and the huntress felt like she had to return it? Or worse, was she pitying her? If that was so, she didn't want it. A sudden rush of anger filled her body, and she looked at the other. It was just mean, to pity others like that, as if they were incapable of taking care of themselves. She didn't want to be pitied.

"Why do you care?" she asked, her voice low, but filled with rage. The Avora wasn't even sure her anger was directed at the huntress. No, she was probably angry at herself. "I'm fine! I just told you so. Can't you see it? I'm not harmed! It doesn't matter! I'm here because I want to be, do you have a problem with that?" her voice was raising, until she was screaming in the Infirmary. A glare from one of the healers made her shut her mouth, and she felt stupid once again. Why had she screamed at Azira? She hadn't done anything. The huntress had just made a question, and a kind and harmless one.

Panic suddenly replaced the anger, and she grabbed Azira's wrist, not wanting the huntress to leave. She had thought she wanted to be alone, but she didn't. Why had she screamed? She was feeling stressed, but that wasn't a reason. Then, it hit her, and she felt only more guilty and embarrassed. It hadn't been a scream of anger, but a panicked one. Azira was one of the few persons she considered a friend, and just the thought of having her friend pitying her or not really caring had made her afraid. When would she grow up?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have screamed at you." Syveris couldn't look at her eyes. "I'm stupid. It's... I..." the Avora was at a loss for words. Biting her lips, she took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. Maybe it would make it easier to talk. But she didn't let go of the huntress wrist. "Azira... Tell me the truth. Do you really care or are you just... Or do you want to repay the fact that I heard you out?" the question just came out, and Syveris felt like she had done a mistake. She didn't want to hear the answer. Not really. "Virat send me here." And there she was again, trying to change the focus of the talk. She was terrible at it.

Opening her eyes, she sent one quick glance to Azira's face, and let go of her arm. Put yourself together already. "I'm really sorry, Azira. I think... I think I just panicked." there. The truth. Maybe if she stopped running away from her problems, it would be easier to face them, right? "I broke the piece I was making. Because I was careless. Virat was afraid that I would cause an accident and sent me here. I'll be fine, though." Syveris was glaring to the ground, and she wasn't even sure if the huntress was still by her side. She was divided into hoping that she would be, and into hoping that she would have left already.

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[Azira]

   

It was clear that something was eating at Syveris, no matter what she said. The angry outburst proved it, the way her voice started off low and angry but progressed into loud and furious. She reminded the huntress far too much of herself. When she was upset, she got angry with everybody else so she understood what the glassworker was going through. She seemed to regret it instantly though, grasping Azira's wrist as if afraid that she'd run away.

"It's all right, Syveris. Honestly," she told her, waving off the apology. Her wrist was seriously starting to hurt, the girl gripping it tighter than the Avora was comfortable with. Her question caught her by surprise, her eyes trying to meet her friend's gaze but she wouldn't look up. 

"Of course, I care. I'm your friend, aren't I?" The word that she'd refrained from using aloud had finally slipped out. In her eyes, they were friends but whether Syveris thought so she couldn't be sure. She'd find out soon enough if she commented on it.

When she gave her reason for being there, Azira's mouth opened in an "O" of surprise. So the girl's master had sent her here. The girl let go of her wrist then, seeming to get a grip on herself. The teen murmured and explanation and the huntress felt sorry for her. There was a reason behind it she was sure.

"Mistakes happen, Syv, believe me but I know there's something bothering you. There's something stopping you concentrating. Just tell me what it is. You'll feel better, honestly. If it affects your work you have to tell someone. I did and it helped..." she trailed off, not willing to get into that discussion just now. Syveris would either tell her or she wouldn't.

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[Syveris]

Were they friends? Syveris couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips when the huntress said that word. The Avora hadn't been sure about what their relationship truly was. At first, they were complete strangers, that had fought with each other once. Then, they had become closer after Azira's outburst in the mountain, but that was it. Syveris had began to think of the huntress as a friend, but she hadn't been sure Azira thought the same of her. Knowing that she did made her feel a little better.

"Yes. Yes, you are my friend." the whispered response was the best Syveris could muster, but she was a little happier now. Her smile disappeared, though, when Azira talked again.

"It wasn't just any mistake..." she was angry again, but this time, she was sure this anger was at herself. "What if it wasn't just me dropping the piece? What if I actually had burnt someone with the glass? Or..." she shivered, and shut her mouth. The other possibilities were too frightening for her to think about. Azira was right. She needed to tell someone. But what if the huntress thought she was stupid for thinking so much about it? Looking at the others face, Syveris sighed. She had trusted her, hadn't she?

"... The problem is... There are so many that are dead because of the storm! And I saw one of them dying! He fell to the ground, and just didn't move anymore." Syveris bit her lip, trying to hold back the sobs. "I didn't even know him... I didn't know any of them, but... But still, I didn't do anything to help them." tears started falling from her eyes, and she rubbed them, angrily. "I know it happens all the time, and I know the Djed storm probably killed many more, but this is the first time I've seen it." and the first time she could have done something, but she didn't, because she wanted to save those she knew.

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[Azira]

   

The pair exchanged smiles but the glassworker's one faltered as her thoughts seemed to encroach or perhaps it was the words of the huntress that caused it. She began to get angry again at the idea that her actions had been a mistake. Surely it had been an accident and not intentional, if it had been intentional... Azira shook her head as Syveris explained.

"Yes, I understand what glass can do, Syv," she whispered. It was true, she'd seen the state of her mother after her accident so she knew just how dangerous a mistake in glassworking could be. However the girl's explanation seemed to throw her off a bit. She hadn't expected that. It made sense though. Death could leave a mark on one who witnessed it and could thoroughly upset the mind. The Avora could relate to the situation though.

"I understand what seeing someone die is like, you know," Azira told her friend quietly, avoiding eye contact. "I've seen two people die, one of them this season. The first was...was my m-mother. There was an accident in the Reverie and... I was there when she... The other was a Dek. I was with Lavira and this woman went into labour and we did what we could but it was complicated. There was too much blood gone. I understand how you feel."

Her voice was level except for a slight increase in pitch when she mentioned her mother. Her gaze flickered back to the glassworker, her eyes filled with understanding and raw emotion. She understood exactly how horrible the girl felt.

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[Syveris]

At first, Syveris wanted to scream at Azira that she couldn't possible understand, but she was glad that she kept her mouth shut as the other continued the explanation. The huntress has seen her own mother die? Syveris shuddered with the thought, but not because it had been her mother. Blood was meaningless for the Avora. No, she shuddered because she heard the emotion in the others voice. She was probably close with her mother. It must have been terrible, much more than if it had been just some random person...

And the Dek... Under any other circumstances, Syveris wouldn't have cared. She hated Deks with a passion she couldn't even understand. But now... She had seen someone die, and she had seen much more death than she was comfortable with. The Avora was sure that even if they had been Deks, she would still have felt it just the same. Syveris understood what it felt like now, and it didn't need to be someone known or liked for it to have an impact. The Avora looked at the huntress, and saw the emotion in her eyes. It made her heart clench. Azira understood. She wasn't just saying it, pretending to know how it felt when she couldn't possible know. The huntress really understood.

Tears began to fall again, and Syveris felt weak, exhausted. Reaching to Azira, she hugged the huntress, tightly. She knew the other wasn't always comfortable with hugs, but she needed to do it now, and she was sure Azira would understand.

"I'm really sorry about your mother..." it wasn't going to help, but at least she meant it. Syveris wished she knew what else to say, but the words died inside her. Holding the sobs back, she tightened even more the hug.

After some chimes, Syveris released Azira again, leaning against the wall and cleaning the tears from her face. She gave a weak chuckle. "I feel kind of silly, now." but she also felt better. It wasn't only her, there were others that were passing through the same thing. Then, there really wasn't nothing wrong with her. And Azira had managed to live with it. She would too, then. "Thanks, Azira. I was right again, you're really a wonderful person." it was a weak joke, Syveris wasn't even sure it could be classified as a joke, but then, she didn't care. At least things would get better, sometime.

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[Azira]

   

When their eyes met, The teen saw the comprehension in the other's eyes. She understood that someone else had been through the same thing. The huntress felt immense pity for her. Syveris had thought that she was alone and that nobody else had ever experienced what she was going through. Azira knew that feeling very well but she had been alone with no one to relate with.

The glassworker began to cry, something that made the Avora uncomfortable but when her friend hugged her she froze. Uncomfortable wasn't the right word for how she felt then. She wanted to squirm from the young woman's grasp but she knew that Syveris needed the contact for comfort. Awkwardly, she placed an arm around the girl and patter her back gently as if that would help somehow.

The glassworker gave her her condolences but Azira said nothing, just nodded and stared fixedly at the opposite wall until Syveris released her, looking a little embarrassed. The young woman seemed better though, something that the huntress was glad about. At least she'd done some good. She blushed at her friend's comment and managed a weak smile but it quickly turned into a grimace as the pain flared in her head again.

"I'm glad you're feeling better but I'm afraid I need to sit down," Azira told her friend, her voice fainter than she'd intended. The girl tried to struggle to her feet, grasping the wall for dear life as the room spun around her.

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