1st of Winter, 513 AV
Anna could feel it slithering under the surface of her mind, just waiting for an opportunity to take control again. That night, that stupid petching night with the Voices. She'd turned to her madness to defend herself, to push back the beings from her mind. The price she paid was this, the constant worrying for triggers that could set her off. The darting of her eyes at every flickering shadow for fear that something lurked there, the paranoia that Daren was around every corner, the inability to not question her own judgment over even simple matters. It was as though her mind had become a prison. Her own personal torment.
So the sorceress found herself slowly leaving the Vestibule, stepping down the stairs that led out of the Citadel as a whole. She needed to think and clear her head, a breakdown was certainly not something she could afford to suffer. Anna knew she needed to focus on something else, anything else to keep her mind from straying too far back into the black void.
Celeste came to mind immediately, however visiting the girl was cast aside as her paranoia came to the forefront. She could be plotting against her, in fact it was very likely she was. The girl thought she was so clever, twisting the Chaon's emotions like she did and offering friendship. Oh, but Anna knew exactly what the girl was trying to do, steal her secrets of course. It was all some big conspiracy and everyone was in on it, from the lowliest of prisoners in the Dungeons to the Archwizard himself.
They thought she didn't know, but oh she knew exactly what they were planning. In a more stable mindset the woman might have recognized her rather disturbing drifting of mind, how easily she slipped into the rather outlandish theories and plots. However, between her sore body and her turbulent mind she was hardly stable in any regard.
Stop. Don't think about this, think of something else.
She started down the path that led to the Docks, her weathered clothing giving her the appearance of a world weary traveler. Alright, so thinking about Celeste at this moment was a very poor idea considering her irrational paranoia. Something else then... her Wizard Examination. Yes, that was an event of rather prominent importance looming on the horizon. It was also something she had only made limited preparations towards, those scrolls she'd made could prove useful to that effect.
The woman halted on her path, taking a few deep and calming breaths. Sahovan winter was warm, much warmer than the bitter cold of Zeltiva. It was like another world entirely, at least back home she hadn't needed to worry overmuch about being stalked by mad killers. Though, at least here she was free to be who she was to some degree, whoever Annalisa Marin was anyway.
The madness was only further serving to muddy up her personality, to fracture the answers she thought rang true and call into question her identity once more. More questions, more answers that led to more questions, which led to more answers which led to more question. Maelstrom was right, questioning the questions was driving her even more insane. Yet, the madness was not terrible in some respects in that it made her feel powerful.
What had she been thinking about? Something important... right the Wizard Examination.
Rather than continue down the path Anna decided to pace, seeming to be so entrenched in her own thoughts that the outside world was almost forgotten. Occasionally she perked her head to one side, as though listening to something unseen. The sight would probably have been curious to an onlooker.
Scrolls wouldn't be enough, no no no, she needed something less conventional for the Council to fund her and supply her with her own lab. They might help but she needed something more impressive, something that showed her capacity to think outside of the box. Anna wracked her maddened and memory deprived brain for answers.
Perhaps this was not the first time she'd thought about this, Daren might have wiped her memory clean of those theories countless times. Anna allowed a slightly unhinged giggled to escape her, idly thinking over how many times she must have repeated the same thoughts over and over again. How many revelations of what Daren was had she suffered? How many times had she woken up, blissfully ignorant of the horrors she faced? Was her life in Zeltiva even real, or had that been a fabrication? What was real and what was a lie?
Anna stopped giggling, her expression changing to annoyed as she clutched her head and pulled at her hair. She couldn't keep losing it like this, otherwise her sanity was only the least of what she would lose.
The Examination. Focus on that, nothing else.
The sorceress angrily kicked a large rock, the distracting thoughts still managing to block out coherent cognitive processes. She glared down at the inanimate object, as though it were the subject of all of her sorrow and anger. The way the stone had formed made it look like it had some kind of deformed grin on its surface, or maybe that was just her imagination.
"What are you smiling at?" The tall woman addressed the rock, her grey eyes narrowing dangerously.
Of course it didn't actually respond, but the paranoia cut through her anger as she continued to regard it. What if the rocks were actually animated golems? Like the little Watcher golems that moved about here and there? Watching her move and talk, just waiting for her to say something treasonous. The Council could literally be watching her every step, even outside of the Citadel. Suddenly Anna felt a little ill as she looked all around at the rocks littering the ground.
Wait... rocks. Rocks are small. Portable, one might say. Perhaps...
The sorceress seemed to ponder something before nodding eagerly to herself and picking up the smiling rock, flashing the inanimate object a smile of her own. Yes, she had just the idea for this.
"Hmm... perhaps I misjudged you, indeed perhaps you and your fellows might prove useful to me. Yes, I think so." The sorceress mused aloud, bringing out her cloak.
She folded the tattered piece of clothing until she made a makeshift pouch, starting to pluck a few stones from the ground. The woman would cast a glance over them, not every rock was what she needed obviously. Some were too large, others far too small, it was only a select few that she deemed worthy to be taken. In the end she only took six, each large enough to comfortably fit in the palm of her hand. The stones gathered she quickly set her paces back towards the Citadel, already working through the possibilities.
Anna could feel it slithering under the surface of her mind, just waiting for an opportunity to take control again. That night, that stupid petching night with the Voices. She'd turned to her madness to defend herself, to push back the beings from her mind. The price she paid was this, the constant worrying for triggers that could set her off. The darting of her eyes at every flickering shadow for fear that something lurked there, the paranoia that Daren was around every corner, the inability to not question her own judgment over even simple matters. It was as though her mind had become a prison. Her own personal torment.
So the sorceress found herself slowly leaving the Vestibule, stepping down the stairs that led out of the Citadel as a whole. She needed to think and clear her head, a breakdown was certainly not something she could afford to suffer. Anna knew she needed to focus on something else, anything else to keep her mind from straying too far back into the black void.
Celeste came to mind immediately, however visiting the girl was cast aside as her paranoia came to the forefront. She could be plotting against her, in fact it was very likely she was. The girl thought she was so clever, twisting the Chaon's emotions like she did and offering friendship. Oh, but Anna knew exactly what the girl was trying to do, steal her secrets of course. It was all some big conspiracy and everyone was in on it, from the lowliest of prisoners in the Dungeons to the Archwizard himself.
They thought she didn't know, but oh she knew exactly what they were planning. In a more stable mindset the woman might have recognized her rather disturbing drifting of mind, how easily she slipped into the rather outlandish theories and plots. However, between her sore body and her turbulent mind she was hardly stable in any regard.
Stop. Don't think about this, think of something else.
She started down the path that led to the Docks, her weathered clothing giving her the appearance of a world weary traveler. Alright, so thinking about Celeste at this moment was a very poor idea considering her irrational paranoia. Something else then... her Wizard Examination. Yes, that was an event of rather prominent importance looming on the horizon. It was also something she had only made limited preparations towards, those scrolls she'd made could prove useful to that effect.
The woman halted on her path, taking a few deep and calming breaths. Sahovan winter was warm, much warmer than the bitter cold of Zeltiva. It was like another world entirely, at least back home she hadn't needed to worry overmuch about being stalked by mad killers. Though, at least here she was free to be who she was to some degree, whoever Annalisa Marin was anyway.
The madness was only further serving to muddy up her personality, to fracture the answers she thought rang true and call into question her identity once more. More questions, more answers that led to more questions, which led to more answers which led to more question. Maelstrom was right, questioning the questions was driving her even more insane. Yet, the madness was not terrible in some respects in that it made her feel powerful.
What had she been thinking about? Something important... right the Wizard Examination.
Rather than continue down the path Anna decided to pace, seeming to be so entrenched in her own thoughts that the outside world was almost forgotten. Occasionally she perked her head to one side, as though listening to something unseen. The sight would probably have been curious to an onlooker.
Scrolls wouldn't be enough, no no no, she needed something less conventional for the Council to fund her and supply her with her own lab. They might help but she needed something more impressive, something that showed her capacity to think outside of the box. Anna wracked her maddened and memory deprived brain for answers.
Perhaps this was not the first time she'd thought about this, Daren might have wiped her memory clean of those theories countless times. Anna allowed a slightly unhinged giggled to escape her, idly thinking over how many times she must have repeated the same thoughts over and over again. How many revelations of what Daren was had she suffered? How many times had she woken up, blissfully ignorant of the horrors she faced? Was her life in Zeltiva even real, or had that been a fabrication? What was real and what was a lie?
Anna stopped giggling, her expression changing to annoyed as she clutched her head and pulled at her hair. She couldn't keep losing it like this, otherwise her sanity was only the least of what she would lose.
The Examination. Focus on that, nothing else.
The sorceress angrily kicked a large rock, the distracting thoughts still managing to block out coherent cognitive processes. She glared down at the inanimate object, as though it were the subject of all of her sorrow and anger. The way the stone had formed made it look like it had some kind of deformed grin on its surface, or maybe that was just her imagination.
"What are you smiling at?" The tall woman addressed the rock, her grey eyes narrowing dangerously.
Of course it didn't actually respond, but the paranoia cut through her anger as she continued to regard it. What if the rocks were actually animated golems? Like the little Watcher golems that moved about here and there? Watching her move and talk, just waiting for her to say something treasonous. The Council could literally be watching her every step, even outside of the Citadel. Suddenly Anna felt a little ill as she looked all around at the rocks littering the ground.
Wait... rocks. Rocks are small. Portable, one might say. Perhaps...
The sorceress seemed to ponder something before nodding eagerly to herself and picking up the smiling rock, flashing the inanimate object a smile of her own. Yes, she had just the idea for this.
"Hmm... perhaps I misjudged you, indeed perhaps you and your fellows might prove useful to me. Yes, I think so." The sorceress mused aloud, bringing out her cloak.
She folded the tattered piece of clothing until she made a makeshift pouch, starting to pluck a few stones from the ground. The woman would cast a glance over them, not every rock was what she needed obviously. Some were too large, others far too small, it was only a select few that she deemed worthy to be taken. In the end she only took six, each large enough to comfortably fit in the palm of her hand. The stones gathered she quickly set her paces back towards the Citadel, already working through the possibilities.
